Chapter 21:

The next day came quicker than I was ready for. I was wide awake well before my alarm sounded. Pulling myself out of bed, I set to work on my normal chores, thinking about later tonight with equal parts excitement and dread. Excitement because this would be the first festival since the Fireworks Festival that one could call romantic, but dread because was I really gonna ask him about these doubts and fears I've been having? I mean, what if it really is just in my mind? Would he get mad at me for thinking he doesn't want to be with me anymore? Am I expecting too much? Is this normal? I have no idea.

I had a thought. Maybe I should ask someone in town that might have more experience in this kind of thing than me what I should do? I paused for a moment, leaning against the wall of one of the stalls in the barn. While thinking about all this stuff, I guess my body had gone on autopilot and just started working. I guess that's the beauty of things when you have a regular routine that hasn't changed in a long time…

Anyways, getting back to work I wondered who I might be able to ask. Not Ann… I'd hate to dump all this on her just when things are going well with her and Cliff. And I don't think I could ask Popuri, either. I don't think she would understand. I mean, Kai was here only one season out of the whole year, but she never seemed to lose faith in him. I had to admit, part of me admired that blind faith of hers. Not that I thought Kai didn't deserve it, he's a great guy and only ever treats her with kindness and affection. Sure, he likes to tease her, but you should see the way he looks at her when she's not looking.

I shook my head, suddenly realizing I had made my way out onto the field, watering my crops. Maybe I could ask Karen? She and Rick were close; in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were to get married sometime soon. I let out a heavy sigh. No… I know what she would say. She would tell me to kick down his door and get the truth from him, find out exactly what's going on here. But Karen's a lot stronger and more fearless than I am. I don't think I have the guts to be so forward… Goddess, why am I such a coward when it comes to these things?

I continues working, tossing some feed into the troughs for my chickens. What about Elli? Sure, she and Doctor Trent hadn't made much progress (I'm not even sure Elli's confessed to the guy yet), but she's so mature, maybe she might have some good advice?

Once again, I sighed heavily. It wouldn't be fair of me to weigh her down with my troubles and concerns. She's got so many of her own already between her grandmother's health, Stu, her job, and her own love life.

I walked up the path to the spring, fresh picked flower in hand. I guess there's only one person left. Standing on the edge of the spring, I looked at my reflection, taking note of the worry lines and concerned expression. Wow, was it that obvious to everyone else too? Shaking the thought from my head, I tossed the flower into the water.

The area was bathed briefly in a familiar light, and when it receded, there was the Harvest Goddess.

"Welcome back, Claire," she smiled at me. "You look troubled." Maybe it really was that obvious that something was wrong just by looking at my face after all. Then again, she is a goddess, an all knowing one at that. She chuckled softly after I thought that.

Sighing heavily once again, I was about to speak, but the Harvest Goddess started speaking instead.

"Claire," she began with a motherly voice, "It's alright to be worried." I cringed slightly. So it's right for me to be worried? …That's not exactly what I'd like to hear… The Harvest Goddess continued, "However, you should know better than to assume the worst."

I contemplated for a moment. "So… I should tell Gray what I've been worried about? It won't ruin everything? He won't get mad?"

"I don't know, Claire," she went on, "but I do know that you'll be uneasy and anxious until you know for sure. She looked at me and smiled, "And besides, from what I've observed of you mortals, communication is very important in any relationship."

Gah… I should've known she would say something like that. To be completely honest, I've heard that line probably a thousand times before (okay not the part about observing mortals, obviously). Especially from my mother back in the city. In fact, when I was younger she always told me how important it was to communicate your feelings, thoughts, concerns, and such to others because otherwise how will anyone know any of it if you don't tell them? We can't all be omniscient goddesses, like some people. "You know…" I sighed, glancing back up at the Harvest Goddess, but she was gone. "What? Hey!" I shouted across the water, irritated. "Why do you always do that?!"

I huffed and stepped away from the edge of the spring. At least that little outburst made me feel a little more like myself. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Alright," I decided with newfound determination, "I just have to say it! I have to! It's not a big deal!" Or so I was telling myself. In all honesty, I was still terrified. Glancing down at my clenched fists, I noticed how dirty my hands were.

I guess I should probably get cleaned up first before tonight.