CHAPTER 21

Sometimes the Truth Isn't Enough

Disclaimer: Secret SM Confession #8: Esme Cullen's delectable delights triumph over Betty Crocker's.

AN: Well hey everybody! It seems that there has been some minor confusion with the end of Chapter 20. Bella did NOT get a tattoo. Jacob did NOT write on Bella. Rather, Bella was wearing a shirt of Jacob's that had his name on it. I was thinking it was like the white undershirt tank-tops that guys wear to football that their mother wrote the name on so it wouldn't get lost. Does that make sense? I hope so!

Okay, it was basically amazing that I got past 1,000 reviews yesterday (we're actually at 1,030)! I never thought this story would come this far! Unreal. Special thanks to LOVELYWENDY who is the 1,000 reviewer! And everyone else, of course, who has reviewed at any point during the story! You guys are fabulous!

So I have had this poll on my profile for a while and there are only a few more chapters before it will finally take action, which means if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for!?

Go thank SHAPS for beta-ing. She gets me the chapters back super quick, which means you get updates super quick! Go her!

Anyway, here is the chapter!

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(Last time)

"I did something really, really, stupid. I just wanted the bet to be over," she whimpered, her voice cracking slightly.

"I don't understand," I cried, worried.

What could she have done? It doesn't matter. I'll always love her. I'll always love my Bella.

Suddenly, Bella turned around and lifted her hair, exposing the top part of the tank she was wearing. In a dark permanent marker was five letters that nearly made me fall over.

EPOV

Live. Life. Love.

Over.

Bella doesn't love me. She had sex with fucking Black because she hates me.

"Bella, w-what is t-that?" I stuttered, point to the words written on the shirt she was wearing.

"I, uh, well," she began to explain, but I didn't want to wait.

"Why the hell are you in Jacob Black's clothes? I just confessed my love to you, in front of the school no less, and you are wearing his clothes, Bella," I cried.

"Edward, I was upset," she whispered.

"Well, enlighten me Bella. Because clearly, I don't know what it's like to be upset," I growled sarcastically.

She dropped her head.

"I can't trust you," she spoke softly.

"What?" I growled.

Bella lifted her head and met my eyes. Those chocolaty brown pools were filled with anguish. I almost broke, seeing Bella like this. In pain. It was horrible.

"I went over to Jake's because I couldn't trust you, Edward," she clarified.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you saying you trust that dog more than me? Is that why you let him fuck you? Hmm? I guess some ass who doesn't care about you is a better candidate to take your virginity than the man who loves you. That makes loads of sense," I snarled.

Bella stifled a cry and then sniffled harshly, rubbing her nose.

"That's not what happened," she whimpered.

"What?"

"Can I just explain?" she begged.

"Whatever Bella," I snapped.

"I did go over to Jake's," she began.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't look at me like that Edward. I'm not the only one at fault here. Yes, I did something stupid, but you aren't exactly innocent. You are such a hypocrite! You can have sex with anyone you want, but when I go over to a guy's house I get the third degree! Double standards aren't cool. Especially since you are a liar," she said sternly.

"Oh really? Did you get my note? I fell! Do you remember when I consoled you after the game? I wasn't lying Bella!" I yelled.

"Edward, c'mon, you made a bet about my virginity behind my back. What do expect?" she said softly.

"Bella, if I recall correctly, you made a bet about your virginity too. Remember, you said if I stay dry, then you give me your virginity," I rumbled right back.

"Edward, do you see the common denominator here? You made the bet with Tanya; you made the virginity-losing part of our bet. Think about it, Edward, I'm not the only one at fault," she whispered.

"Bella, I dropped everything for you. And what did you do? You went over to Jake's and threw it away. You threw everything away," I cried.

"No, I didn't Edward. If you would just listen, I want to explain," she solicited.

"Fine," I rumbled angrily.

I didn't want an excuse. I gave up my life and Bella gave it up to someone else. How am I not supposed to be upset?

"I thought you were still lying to me, and I wanted to find out the truth. Because I know that I was starting to feel something. I needed to know that you were too. So I went to Jake's. And we starting to kissing," she murmured nervously while biting her lip.

I pretended to gag.

"Edward, stop. If you want to know the truth then shut-up. If you keep interrupting, you obviously don't care, so I won't bother," she began to get angry.

Surprising, Bella was keeping cool during this whole ordeal. Granted, she didn't have anything to be angry about. She was the one who had sex with Jake.

"Please, continue," I chortled without humor.

"Uh, well, it got, heated, so we went upstairs and, uh," she began stuttering.

"Fuck, Bella! Did you or did you not have sex with Jacob?" I screamed.

BPOV

I began panting. Could I tell him the truth? Could I make the jump? Could-

"No," I whispered almost inaudibly.

"No?" he asked, excitedly.

My breathing became heavier as I realized the truth would soon be unveiled.

This was my last chance. I could lie and stop this before it even started.

"No, damn it! I couldn't do it! I couldn't do it!" I screamed, turning away from him.

He froze.

Flashback

Jake laid me on the bed and quickly climbed on top of me, kissing all areas of exposed skin.

"Do you have condom?" I asked.

He nodded, reaching for the bedside table.

My heart was pounding in my chest. This was it. I was going to have sex. With Jake.

Jake leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I was getting impatient so I tore my shirt off, leaving my in just my bra.

Jake gasped as he leaned forward and struggled to unhook my bra. I tried to giggle at his obvious predicament but the nerves got the best of me.

"Bella, we don't have to do this if you don't want," he assured.

I shook my head.

"I need this."

He nodded and proceeded to massage my breasts.

His large hands were scalding and callused and everywhere.

But they were wrong.

They were too big.

They were too hot.

They weren't the smooth hands that touched me last.

Training room.

Massage.

Edward.

Oh, God. I have to stop right now!

I can't do this. I can't.

"Jake," I whispered, closing my eyes and biting my lip.

He immediately stopped his ministrations on my chest.

"I-uh," I started.

"It's someone else," he stated.

It wasn't a question, but I still nodded.

"He's a lucky man," Jake smiled sadly. "Go get him".

I finished telling the story to find Edward staring back at me, his eyes wide and his jaw slack.

"Bella, is this the truth?" he whispered, awe-stricken.

I nodded.

"So, why are you still wearing his shirt?" he asked, confused.

"Well, I tore my shirt when we, uh, you know, and I stayed there all weekend. And, I wanted to make you jealous. It was stupid, but, I didn't think you wanted me," I said truthfully.

"Bella, I just sung a love song to you in front of the entire school, believe me, I want you. I love you," he smiled.

"But, I don't know if I can. How can I trust you? You lied to me about something huge and we can't start a relationship on something like that." Stupid, stupid. I started to cry.

"I want to make this work. I will do anything and everything to make this work," he stated.

"I don't know, Edward," I bit my lip.

"Please, give me a chance," he pleaded.

"We should see other people. Or at least get our priorities straight. I mean, we clearly want different things and I think it would be for the best." It hurt us both, but I knew I had to say it. Someone had to say it.

Edward closed his eyes and his face scrunched up in pain for just a second. Then he composed it, as if to hide his true feelings.

"If that's what you want, Bella. I'd do anything to make you happy," he said, staring into my eyes.

"Okay, so I guess I'll talk to you later," I said awkwardly.

"I'll see you at practice tonight," he whispered sadly, walking away.

Is this the right thing to do?

Royce POV

It's too fucking bad that little bitch decided to go to the police. Juvie and I don't exactly mix. I can't be locked behind bars or handcuffed. That's Rose's job. I tell her what to do.

Someone is going to fucking pay. I'm not finished with that little skank and her new squeeze. That big guy. Hell no, Rose doesn't do meatheads. She just does me. She is mine.

Someone will pay.

AN: So it looks like the truth is out. Bella didn't have sex with Jake, but B&E aren't together yet. Did you really think they would forgive each other right away? Be real. Would you forgive a guy that quickly? I hope not.

Oh, and look who's looming in the shadows. Royce. Dun dun dun!

Review please! I have been updating a lot lately, so thank me and I'll update again soon!