The thing I remember most was that long, horrible quiet, where Don and Leo exchanged glances. That meant that they had obviously discussed this thing before, probably several times when I was too conked out to pay attention.

Needless to say, I didn't appreciate that one damn bit. If they had something bad to tell me, tossing it off to each other only put it off.

"Fo' how lon'?"

The words were clogging my throat, as if I was trying to cough up a boulder. Talking was getting a bit easier, but it was still so damn frustrating to slur like I was drunk, or an idiot. My brain had literally been kicked around like a soccer ball from the beating, and my jaw had taken most of the impact that my shoulder didn't. From the bit I did remember, my shoulder, leg and shell had slammed into the floor and took the brunt of the fall. My head had flopped back to the tile, and I still remembered that dull, numb floating sensation before the agony that seemed to take root from the floor and claw its way into my very bones. I never knew somebody could hurt that damn much and live.

I knew from the throbbing ache and a couple of brave dabs of my fingers to my cheek that the left side of my face was a swollen, banged-up mess. My jaw hadn't been dislocated, but the tendons that held it to my face had been brutally stretched. Opening and closing my mouth wide enough to talk intelligently just hurt like hell. As you've probably figured out by now, I ain't the world's best at not expressing an oppinion. I ran my tongue over the inside of my cheeks. The flesh there had been gnawed away when I had clenched my jaws shut to keep from screaming. I was damn lucky I hadn't chewed a big hole in the side of my face.

"Don...how lon' am I gonna be li' dis?"

The question dangled like a noose, and I felt my throat close in dread of the answer.
From behind, Leo slid his hands from holding me down, to gently gripping my shoulders, as if he were steadying me for the hit. I twitched on instinct, but forced myself to lay still when his fingers tightened in warning.

Don sighed, uneasily, before he softly answered, "I'm sorry, Raph. I don't know. It may be a bit longer than we like."

He must have seen the dismay and the anger flicker over my face, because he very quickly forced an overdone smile, and almost cooed, "But, you're getting better, Raph! You're already awake and talking...let's look at the good, okay?"

So that was it, then? I was just expected to happily submit to laying on my ass, my brothers changing my sheets, always being watched and treated like a damn criminal for trying to sit up?

My anger had been smouldering in my gut, slowly burning its way up my veins. Here I was, being held down by one brother, and having the other one tell me that it just might be like this forever. Less than a week ago, I would have kicked Leo's ass for trying to pin me to the floor. Now, all I could do was grunt, and twitch the few inches Leo let me.

Forever. A few days or a lifetime of this hell. Nobody really knew. The tears pricked from behind my eyes, as the hysteria writhed against my clamped jaws.

How in the hell was I supposed to just accept this? Who in the hell were my brotheres to expect me to?

I shut my eyes, and choked back the sob. After a few shaking breaths, I managed to work my face into the usual pissed off sneer.

Here I was again, fragmenting. Leo still had me cradled, and caged, his arms laced over my plastron, the back of my head pillowed by his lap. Donny was wringing his hands, and hovering uselessly, obviously torn between shoving me back down completely, and fearing that he'd hurt me more. April looked both really pissed, and worried. Her hand was warm, and she kept rubbing my good shoulder, like she was trying to soothe a frightened animal. My damaged side was still twisted in my sprawl on the floor, and it went from dull throb to stabbing ache during the time of this oh so happy chat with my brothers. I winced, as I slowly uncurled my good elbow, only intending to shift a few inches at a time. Leo snarled, and dug into my shoulders like a hawk's talons spearing a rat. I grit my teeth, sucked in air, and tried to yank my shoulder away.

"Raph, stay still!"

"Le' go a' me." It was meant as a snarl, but came out as a whine., as I huffed and tried to squirm away.

"Stay still!"

"S'op hol'in me!Id 'hurts!"

Leo scowled down at me, fingers lessening their grip. I heard his aggravated sigh blown out between clenched jaws.

" 'What' hurts, Raph? You need to be more specific with what is going on." Don said softly. Very gently, he gripped Leo's wrist, and nudged him.

"I know you're trying to help, Leo, but unless you plan on restraining Raph indefinitely, holding him down just seems to piss him off."

"But it keeps him safe!"

"It just makes him angry."

"So, what now, Don? We just let him kill himself? We almost lost him once. If keeping him alive means holding him down until he quits fighting with us, so be it."

I heard Don's gently appeasing sigh, as he attempted and failed to halt the oncoming firestorm.

"Leo..." He breathed it out, and just shook his head. "Raph, if you don't mind, I would like to examine you, and see what exactly is wrong, okay? Now that you're awake and you can speak, it should be a bit easier."

My lip curled, but I nodded as best I could. Don gave me a forced smile, and a troubled glance to Leo.

"Leo, I can't look him over when you're latched onto him like that. You need to move."

Leo glared, and muttered something I couldn't decipher. As gently as if he were handling a holy relic, he slid himself from underneath my head, and carefully lowered my skull back into the familiar warmth of the pillow.

"I'm not trying to be an asshole, Raph. I'm trying to protect you. You know that, right?" Leo made no attempt to hide the shattered plea. I tilted my head and squinted up at him. I winced when I really saw him. He just looked wan, and pale, from too many sleepless, fretting nights, spent worrying about me.

"How can you pro'tec me from dis?"

He recoiled as if I had hit him, the hurt twisting his face.

"How, Leo?" My first intact question, and my big brother reacted as if I had taken his own katana and shoved it through his gut.

I watched as Leo trembled and crumbled, before he shook his head, helplessly. "I can't."

More waterworks as his eyes flooded and he hitched his shoulders. "I can't, Raph. I'm sorry."

Over the years, I had seen Leo shot, stabbed, beaten, bleeding, bruised, with broken bones. The one thing that I had never seen him do was cry, at least not over me.
And now, he was fighting tears, sniffing back snot and looking like he was only holding himself together by clutching his plastron and quaking.

I sighed, and poked his wrist with my good hand. "Stop dat." I said softly, as I put my hand over his and squeezed it. "Dis ain't yo fault, Leo."

My attempts to comfort one of my brothers always felt awkward, forced, and humilitating. Normally, it would have been nothing more than me gettin' one of them a beer, or a slap upside the head. Somehow, I didn't think Leo would take me slapping him very kindly, and I obviously couldn't just casually stroll to the kitchen and grab a bottle.

But after seeing Leo, I would have gladly let him punch me,if it meant he'd lose that wounded, lost look on his face.

I heard April's apologetic sigh, as she rose. "I think I'll go and fix lunch." She flashed me an awkward smile, as she gently tapped my shoulder. "How about it, big guy? Up to eating?"

Glancing at Don, she asked, "He can eat, right?"

"If he stays awake, food would be good for him. But make it something soft, and easily chewed. I don't think that swallowing should be a problem for him, but with that bruise on his jaw, eating may be difficult."

April nodded, and smiled down at me. "So...you like tuna?"

I scowled and shook my head. Tuna reminded me too much of cat food, and I hated the idea of ground up fish from a can.

She shrugged. "Okay, no tuna then. I'll go see what I can find, but keep in mind that this ain't the Ritz, please."

"Ha, ha, ha." My sarcastic cackle was little more than a busted snort, but seeing April's relieved, bright grin made it worth it.

She graced me with a quick squeeze, and hand sweeping over my face.

"Thank God you're back, Raph. You have no idea how much I've missed you, big guy."

"Ain't 'ere yed, A'pil."

"You will be." She whispered, as she pecked my temple. Don didn't bother to hide the amused snort, and Leo tactfully looked away when April chuckled and left the room.

Author's Note- I wasn't very happy with this chapter, because it adds very little to the plotline, but after almost two months of not writing, I really had no excuse not to post something. I am working on the next chapter, which will hopefully start the beginning of the end for this story. Hopefully, the next chapter compensates.

uncertain.