**I have hidden motives for when I'm posting today. Let's see if people can figure it out. If the goal is hit I will post the next chapter. After this one there are 3 more chapters remaining. Chapter 22 is gonna be a tear jerker to many. Hope you're enjoying so far :) Good luck figuring it out!**

Chapter 21: Second Apologies

"Come on Kanan!" Ezra said trying to get the older man out of bed. Kanan had been healing well; slow, but progressing enough that Mira said he could get out of bed and try to walk around town. He glared at the crutch that was leaning against the wall next to him. The Jedi hated it.

After sleeping for several days, Ezra had finally woken up, weak and hungry. The youth recovered fast enough and was now helping Kanan. The padawan came into the room with a big grin.

"Mom said you could get out of bed and walk around town today. You've been complaining about having to stay in bed so let's go!" Ezra leaned against the door frame watching as his master sat up before grabbing the crutch and using it to disperse his weight.

There had been little talk about what happened, but Kanan knew that it bothered everyone; just like he knew that it would have to be discussed and resolved soon. Once he was healed enough, Ezra would have to say farewell to the people that raised him the first 7 years of his life.

As he took the first few wobbly steps, Kanan adjusted to the slight pain that surged through his knee. The bone was fractured in three areas and they were slow to heal. Mira had watched him in wonder at how he had hidden all the injuries from the crew, and then went on to survive a week without any medical help.

"Mom got you a stabilizing brace you can put on it. She said it would help with the pain and you might even be able to put more weight on it. We also might want to get you dressed. Unless you feel comfortable going out like that." Ezra watched as Kanan struggled. Force aided or not, the pain Ezra felt coming from his master was real. He smiled and walked over to his closet and grabbed a change of clothes for Kanan.

Kanan realized that he was just in a pair of shorts. He had gotten used to wearing practically nothing. He was unaware that he was fixing to show the world his body.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea for both things." He stated a little embarrassed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and let Ezra help him slide the pants on. Kanan put on his sweater, and buttoned the pants, cinching the belt. It felt good to have familiar clothing on him.

Ezra sat on the floor and wiggled the boots around until they "snapped" into place before he fastened them. When all was done he pulled out an extremely colorful brace that only could have been decorated by the Ghost's very own private artist.

"It was originally black…but Sabine thought it was too dull and needed color." He said before he started to get the brace situated making sure that it was securely fastened before he stood and offered Kanan a hand up.

"Of course she did." He said with a small smile wincing when Ezra accidentally hit the bone. He accepted his student's hand and stood. The brace helped a lot and soon the two were walking leisurely in the market of the city.

"Hera contacted us today. She said that if the assignment goes to plan, she'll be back at the end of this week." Ezra commented as he looked at the different fruits. He had credits to buy some stuff and a list from both his parents and Hera.

"That's good. I actually miss that ship and every noisy person on it. It's too quiet here." Kanan smiled letting out a small laugh. His face slowly turned to worry when he saw that his student wasn't smiling anymore but looking down. The Jedi knew why.

"Let's go sit and get something to eat. I'm starved and we need to talk." He suggested gently, knowing that Ezra needed to get things off his chest. Kanan felt the emotional turmoil that his student was in. It pained him greatly.

They walked through the streets silently before coming to an eatery. They found an empty and quiet table before sitting down. Kanan allowed them to get drinks and order food before he began the discussion.

"It's the hardest decision you've had to make isn't it?" He said dropping his voice to a soft, low tone.

Ezra nodded not looking at him.

"I understand. While I didn't have parents, I had a hard time saying good bye to the life I had grew up with after Order 66. Everything was provided for us at the temple; food, clothing, a warm place to sleep. After Master Billaba died I was alone." Kanan decided to be open while he watched and gauged Ezra's reaction.

"I know it's the right choice. After I had actually said it out loud, it's like the force was praising me. I felt so calm and at peace with myself. When I chose to stay with my parents it's like the force was telling me it was wrong but I was so hurt I ignored it…" The youth's voice was sad as he spoke. Kanan smiled.

"You felt at peace with yourself because the force was balanced with how it was supposed to be after you changed your mind. I understand and there will be many more decisions like this along your path of life. You learned early to listen to the force. It wasn't until after you came along and when I first revealed myself as a Jedi again that I finally felt at peace with myself." Kanan sat back a little. Ezra continued to stare at the table staying silent for a while.

"Kanan, I don't want to lose them again. What if something happens? What if the Empire finds them? What if I never see them again?...I just got them back…every time I think about saying good bye, I feel like Ryder just told me they are dead all over again." Ezra still had hope that it wouldn't be farewell. Kanan sighed and leaned forward again to get close to Ezra.

"Remember when you had been told they were dead? I told you that they would still be will you always. That's still true, they'll always be with you. Just like if something ever happened to me, I would always be with you. Either one of the choices you had would involve a farewell and great loss, that's why it was so hard." Kanan's voice stayed calm and honest as he spoke to his padawan that was hurting and struggling with everything.

"Why did you leave? Was it because of me?" The older man tensed before he leaned back. He mused over the question in silence for a while before he answered.

"I left…I ran because I was scared. Scared of the pain of losing you and losing anyone else. It was a selfish mistake that I made. I was being irrational and failed to remember my training and suppress my inner emotions. Before my Master died, the last thing she told me…" Ezra could tell that this was difficult for Kanan. He heard the man's voice crack before he continued not looking at his student as he was caught in his memory reliving it as he spoke.

"With her last breath she told me to 'run'. I did…I ran from her, I ran from the clones, I ran from the order that had kept me safe that had seemed to turn against me. I ran from everything. I've been running ever since. I'm sorry that I ran from you Ezra, some master I am." Kanan sighed at his admittance. With it out in the open he felt better, but at the same time he felt childish and selfish.

Ezra thought about what his master had just said. It all made sense.

"Kanan…maybe it's possible that she wanted you to run so that you could survive and do something great in the future. Maybe she had seen a vision that she never shared with you. You're thinking may have been irrational, but it's understandable. You're a human just like me. You were right when you told my parents you weren't part of a Jedi Order. That means you shouldn't have to worry about following the same rules that you did when you were at the temple. Yeah it can be dangerous and lead to the dark side, but I think your heart is too pure for that. You're too good of a person to be evil. I still think you're the best master and I know you'll never abandon me." Ezra smiled as he spoke. He thought very highly of Kanan and when Kanan realized this he relaxed a little.

"You're a good student and a kind kid Ezra. I'm glad that someone sees me like you do." Kanan still felt bad.

"Hera and the others do too. My parents are starting to see the same things that I and Hera do." Hera…Kanan hadn't seen Hera once since he took off. There was much to be discussed between the two of them. He was glad she was gone because the Jedi didn't know where to start.

"Hey Kanan? What was that place you were at? You said it was a Jedi monument that had been abandoned." Curiosity was getting the better of Ezra. He had so many questions and it reminded Kanan of his younger self that he let out a small chuckle.

"My master told me that it was called the Fountain of Life. The time I spent there with her was peaceful and I felt alive. I needed to feel that again, so I went." Kanan found himself looking at the table ashamed that he had run off again. Ezra ignored him and continued.

"Can we go see it sometime? When you're not dying and I'm not freezing?" The youth smiled up at his master and Kanan couldn't help but return it.

"Of course. I would love to." The Jedi said.

Ezra's face turned serious suddenly. Kanan watched him.

"Will you be there?" Ezra asked quietly almost as if he was scared to ask.

"Be there for what?" The older man asked with a confused expression.

"When I say good bye…I…I don't want to be alone when I do. I want you to be there." Ezra almost expected Kanan to call him a baby and tell him 'no'.

"Of course. This is not something anyone should have to do alone. I will be there." The two exchanged smiles right as the food came out.

As they were heading back Kanan noticed that something was still bothering Ezra. Nothing that had to do with what they had already spoken about.

"What is it Kid?" The older man asked gently as he hobbled down the street next to his student.

"That pendant…the one I gave you. When you were in the cave you were holding it and mumbling in coherently, like you were talking with someone. I could feel a strong signature radiating from it. It felt…saddened almost disappointed. I just didn't know if you knew what it was…" Kanan stopped walking trying to remember it. Everything was a blur of darkness.

"I don't know." He finally admitted. He had never felt anything from the necklace besides feeling secure and calm and close to his master and Ezra.

"Okay, I just didn't know. It was a weird feeling." Ezra kept walking and Kanan followed after him. What the boy said didn't leave his thoughts though.