Disclaimer: This story is based on "Inuyasha," copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of copyright intended or implied.
Chapter XX: Explanations
Inuyasha edged warily into the clearing, eyes darting back and forth. Visibly no one was present, but it was clearly meant as an eating place, with several baskets of food in the center, surrounded by regular patches of moss similar to what he had found himself laying on when he woke up. Taking careful note of the no fewer than three entrances through the growth surrounding the circular area, he went to a mossy pad that was equidistant between two exits, and backed by some of the thickest brush. Along the way, he paused long enough to scrutinize the largest basket and snag what looked to be two pears and an apple.
A wary nibble on the first yellow sphere proved that the fruit tasted the same as it looked—pear. Inuyasha took another byte, refusing to relax. He didn't trust this strange place, he didn't trust this 'Bokuseno.' He was human in the daytime, apparently in the middle of a youkai forest, and he felt weak even for a human. It didn't help that all his muscles were aching, especially along his ribs.
The three pieces of fruit disappeared with gathering speed as, despite his tension, the taste triggered his body's craving for food. Setting the last core down, the human eyed the baskets of food, hesitated for a long moment, and then got to his feet. He circled the baskets, his attention straying to the entrances, instinctively sniffing for any sign of danger. Snatching up a handful of fruit, he started to retreat back to his pad, only to jump when the tree spoke.
"You may take one of the baskets with you," said the deep voice. "There is plenty. And Cheiriyo has informed me that you have clearly been lacking sufficient food for some time."
Inuyasha backed away from the food, looking about before finally settling his glare on the somewhat distant trunk of the magnolia. "I'm not hungry! And who is Cheiriyo?"
"I believe I am."
Inuyasha jumped at the new voice behind him. He whirled, and started backing up towards the nearest untenanted exit. He stared at the slender, male youkai entering the circle, his stance dropping into a crouch, his hands curling into fists. "Who are you and what do you want?" He spat.
The gilt-haired youkai raised a pacifying hand. "I am a healer, Inuyasha-sama. I am here to graze on our host's repast, even as you." He paused a moment. "I knew your father; Inuyasha-sama. I owed him life-debt. You need not fear me."
"Hah! As if anyone knowing who my father were, made them any more apt to not hate me!" Inuyasha snarled, continuing to edge backwards. "And I'm not afraid!"
"Then, why are you backing away?" A very pretty woman wondered as she edged into view from behind Cheiriyo. "No one's going to harm you, Inuyasha-sama: Bokuseno gave his word."
"And why should I believe the word of a youkai?" His legs made contact with bush, and Inuyasha started sidling sideways. The exit had to be close! "Most youkai take one look and yell "kill the hanyo"!"
"That's ridiculous!" The purple-eyed woman exclaimed, a white-tipped tail twitching into view. "I never said that—I tried to help you! And Bokuseno stopped Masaki, and sent him and his brother away!"
"Help me? What are you talking about, vixen? I've never met you before!"
"What do you mean, you don't know me?" she spluttered. "We met fewer than two days ago! I—"
"Enough, Akeneka-chan," interrupted Cheiriyo. "Inuyasha-sama has been very ill, and may not remember the last several days." He turned his soft, blue gaze on the hanyo-turned-human. "Inuyasha-sama, I know it must be—unnerving, to be in your human form, and surrounded by youkai. But, you are safe within the area that Bokuseno controls. Will you not sit and eat, and give us the opportunity to talk with you?"
Branches scraped lightly against his arms. "Be seated, youngling," rumbled the tree's voice, directly behind him. Inuyasha dared a quick look, and discovered the exit he knew had been there had quite vanished. The long nosed face formed in the brush that was now at head height, instead of waist height, cocked one twiggy eyebrow. "As a courtesy."
Inuyasha could figure out when he was trapped. Keeping a wary eye on the two youkai, he walked forward and grabbed one of the baskets, then backed up to the furthest edge of the mossy pad farthest away from the pair. Cheiriyo waited until he had seated himself, and only then moved towards the food. He picked up two baskets, shaking his head when the vixen made a move as if to move towards a seat closer to Inuyasha. The pair stayed on the opposite side of the small clearing, Cheiriyo setting a basket next to the woman, before seating himself.
They ate in silence. Inuyasha kept his head down, watching them through his bangs, every aching muscle tensed. He ate fast, old habits and his body demanding food, though it might as well have been tasteless. He did not fail to observe that the girl was eating left-handed, her right arm hid under her robes, and that she was tense as well, numerous emotions flickering across her face as she kept taking quick glances at him. Cheiriyo nibbled slowly, more subtle in his appraisals, but Inuyasha knew the youkai was watching him, and probably not just with his eyes.
Inuyasha had reached the bottom of the basket. He was contemplating the last root, wondering if he weren't too full, when a screechy voice began calling for Bokuseno.
"Why didn't you wake me up, Bokuseno?" the voice yelled. "You know I need to talk to him! It's important! Very important! I should not have been left sleeping!"
A small figure hurtled into the clearing. "There you are!" Jaken screeched. "You ungrateful, murdering han—"
The voice and running feet staggered to a stop at the same moment, as yellow eyes bugged out even further than normal, a green-skinned bill dropped open, and a staff dropped to the ground.
"Inu-y-yasha?" Jaken stuttered. "You—you—you're still human!"
Inuyasha gave him a sour look. "What an accurate observation, toad," he snapped. "What are you doing away from Sesshomaru, anyway? Did he finally get tired of your screeching?"
Jaken puffed himself up. "I'm on a very important mission!" he proclaimed, and then realized that he'd dropped the staff. "The great and undefeatable Sesshomaru-sama has allowed this one to convey a message to the unworthy half-blooded son of the glorious, former Inu no Taisho that if he takes any pride in his youkai blood that he—" Jaken hesitated, staring at the black-haired human, and began to wilt. "That he, he — oh, what can you do? I didn't believe what I heard last night, but ... it's... true...you're ... human..."
He plopped to a seated position, staring at Inuyasha, open-mouthed and crestfallen. Inuyasha snorted, and threw the last root at him. Even though Inuyasha's strength was reduced, his aim was true, and Jaken yelped as the root smacked him in the face.
"Yeah, I'm human," he said bitterly. "So what? Going to go back to Sesshomaru and tell him that his unworthy brother, became even more unworthy? That should make his day."
"B-b-but, he-he needs you! As hanyo!"
"Why? Can't he find anyone else to be his bone to gnaw on?"
"No! The panthers are attacking—the ones your great sire defeated! He needs you beside him! They want revenge on the Inu no Taisho's sons!"
Inuyasha stared at the green-skinned imp, taken aback at the mention of his father. "Panthers? I don't know any panthers ... and why would they want revenge on Sesshomaru and me?"
"Perhaps, I can explain more easily," came an unexpected voice. Inuyasha looked up, to see Cheiriyo's haunted expression. The healing youkai attempted to smile, but it held no amusement.
"After all, the panthers are the reason I owed—and still owe—your great father a life-debt, Inuyasha-sama."
... ... ...
Yukuuku spread out her small treasure of enchanted leaves and once again, touched each one to make sure the spells were intact. It had become a nervous habit the last six days, but there was so little for her to do! She had no one to cook for, to plan clever, surprising meals. She had nothing to clean up. She had no one to listen to, and no one to talk with.
A great ball of grief rose in her throat again. Oh, her poor, beautiful, powerful mistress! How could that miserable hanyo, which her mistress had imprisoned, have possibly slain her? Oh, true, the mistress had treated the hanyo very, very badly, hurting him like that. But, who could say that the hanyo didn't deserve all that punishment? Her mistress had been strong, and very clever. No, she didn't suppose that everything her mistress had done, would be accounted as 'good' by other humans, but so? Her mistress did know mercy—hadn't she saved Yukuuku from that horrible trap? And not demanded any payment? Chance had given Yukuuku the opportunity to pay her mistress back in kind.
The ring of metal on metal warned her. Gathering her leaves back together, she hurriedly stuffed them into a hidden pocket, along with her other small treasures, before leaving the tiny, rude shelter of woven branches and leaves she had constructed some days ago.
Miyatsu gave her a solemn nod, and then took a seat on a tree log. "Tomorrow is the seventh day," he stated.
The tanuki nodded in silent agreement. Her clan followed bits and pieces of ritual they had picked up from the Buddhist temple next door: she had been reciting the prayers for the dead for her dear, departed mistress for six days.
"I have been quite pleased that you are willing to help me find your mistress' house, so that we can make sure that her things are disposed of respectfully, and that any dangerous spells are not allowed to fall into evil hands." She nodded. "However, as it happens, Kikyo-sama insists on that she must accompany us."
Yukuuku stiffened. "No!" she blurted out. Let her mistress' worst enemy—the one that had nearly destroyed her months before—get her hands on anything that her own mistress had touched? Never!
The monk gave her a sympathetic smile. "I appreciate your concern, Yukuuku-chan. However, Kikyo-sama does make the reasonable argument that your mistress may well have set magical protections, and that she, having had training similar to Tsubaki-sama, is likelier to be able to recognize them and know how to render them harmless." He shrugged and smiled. "I did try to argue against needing her assistance, but I fear that I quite lost that argument."
Yukuuku gave him a skeptical look. Why did he need to 'win' an argument? No one was going to try and stop them from leaving, were they?
"I need supplies, which the villagers may not give me, if Kikyo opposes my departure alone," he said, as if in answer to her question. "And, I fear, she is likelier to recognize a dangerous situation than I am. For myself, I would be willing to take the risk, but I do not care to risk the well-being of an innocent such as yourself. Your safety is most important."
She blinked at that. He smiled at her, and continued. "Unfortunately, this means it will take us longer to get to your mistress' house. While I am deeply flattered, that you are willing to carry me, in your other form, I cannot possibly ask for you to also carry the weight of Kikyo as well. It is unfortunate that it means that you will have to put up with her presence for at least the four days it will take to reach Tsubaki's place on horseback. Kikyo-sama is quite stubborn, but even she will have to admit the need to not push herself, while on horseback." He sighed. "She has a temper, the lady miko does. I hope that she does not prove too much strain on your gentle temper."
Yukuuku looked away, dismayed by the prospect. "I can move much faster than a horse," she said. "You and I will go ahead, and she can follow us."
"I fear that is not an option, dear child," he said. "She will insist on staying together, if only for protection."
The tanuki felt almost ill. Four days, just traveling, with that miko? "We can get there in half a day, if I fly," she pointed out.
"And that's a wonderful ability you have, Yukuuku-chan," he said, admiringly. "But the only way to get there in such a short time in her company, would be for you to carry both of us. And I could not possibly ask for such an effort from you."
The tanuki bristled. "I'm strong! I can carry you and her easily! And I will! I won't be slowed down, because of her!"
Miyatsu broke into a wide smile. "You are generous beyond compare, my sweet Yukuuku! Kikyo-sama cannot possibly refuse your offer, and she and I will both be in your debt."
She gave him a dubious look. "I just don't want to be around her, any longer than needed."
"Of course, dear one, but that does not lessen your offer! Your desire to protect your mistress' interests is most admirable, especially when it means dealing with a person distasteful to you." The monk continued in that vein for some time more, until Yukuuku found herself staring at the ground and wondering when he was going to stop. Was there such a thing as too much praise? Fortunately, he finished, and took his leave, after asking whether there was anything from the village she would care to have. She shook her head, not imagining anything that humans had that she would want.
He left, and she felt oddly relieved. Which perplexed her—he was so nice, for a human!
... ... ...
Inuyasha listened silently to a tale of invasion and cruelty and fear, and of the power and skill of his father, defending those unable to stand up to the panthers, and organizing beings for whom the concept of organized fighting were very nearly foreign. "There were many of us tormented by the panthers who caught us," Cheiriyo said. "I, myself, was caught in my true form, chased to exhaustion, and was slowly being clawed to death when your father dropped down from the sky and killed my tormentors. He used his 'army' to prevent the panthers from attacking, and then to keep the panther clans off his back when he challenged the panther's Master to direct combat." The healer smiled slightly. "Others who were there have called it a glorious battle and victory. I was simply relieved when it was over. The Inu no Taisho ordered the surviving panthers to leave his territory and never return."
"He should have just killed them," muttered Inuyasha to himself.
"He chose to show mercy," Chireiyo responded. "He said those left behind—the cubs and the elders—would need the survivors, and he never cared for utter destruction." He sighed. "Alas, the winds say that Touron claimed the clan's spear, and chose to cultivate rage, and hate, rather than question if there were not a more peaceful way to ensure the clan's survival and increase its power. From what Jaken says, it would seem that she wishes to destroy any who carry the Inu no Taisho's blood."
"And, so, Sesshomaru actually wants me to come and fight by his side, against these panthers?" Inuyasha asked, disbelieving, glaring at Jaken.
The imp bristled, jumping to his feet. "Of course not!" he snapped. "How dare you suggest that he would ever want to have you by his side? A dirty-blooded hanyo like you? But, his honor is too great to allow any portion of his father's blood to be shamed or called coward by others, and so I came to find you, to make sure that you would have the opportunity to meet the great Inu no Taisho's foes head on, and prove that the taiyoukai's courage runs true, even in a worthless hanyo like you."
"Yeah, sure," sneered Inuyasha, bitterly. He held up his hand and clenched it. "Just how much taiyoukai blood is anyone going to see in this? A human has no chance before an entire clan of panthers, so why in hell should I listen to you?"
"The question of Inuyasha joining his brother can wait, little youkai," said Bokuseno, with a rustling of the leaves behind the human. "There is a more immediate problem."
"Yeah," said Inuyasha, with belligerence he didn't feel. He fastened his gaze on the healer. "Why am I human?"
Cheiriyo met his gaze. "Are you aware of what can happen, if your youkai blood overcomes your human blood?"
Inuyasha felt his face blanch, and his overfull stomach twitch. The healer apparently saw his reaction, and nodded. "You were transformed. Bokuseno tried to drain you enough to allow your sides to balance, but he failed. Your human soul was dying, and we could find but one option. I gave you a potion, that is deadly poison to most youkai, as it destroys their youki. Our guess, that your human blood would allow you to survive, was correct, but you were very ill last night. You are better this morning but we do not know if you will ever return to your hanyo form."
Inuyasha stared at the ground, swallowing hard. Poisoned? His youkai side, possibly dead? Forever human?
He would be able to go back to Kikyo, one thought that wasn't frozen in dread suggested.
I gave you a potion that is deadly poison to most youkai, as it destroys their youki. Our guess, that your human blood would allow you to survive, was correct, but you were very ill last night. You are better this morning, but we do not know whether you will ever return to your hanyo form."
Inuyasha stared at the ground, swallowing hard. Poisoned? His youkai side, possibly dead? Forever human?
He would be able to go back to Kikyo, one thought that wasn't frozen in dread suggested.
But ... why? "Why ... why did I ... why did I lose control?" he whispered. He remembered how hard he had tried to keep that dreadful, laughing, whispering voice in his head locked down; how he had turned coward before his brother, begging Sesshomaru not to torment him. He remembered how desperate he had felt, to take Sesshomaru's advice. "I was ... I was trying ... to find Bokuseno—Se—someone told me ... to find him. But, I don't ... what happened?"
"My teacher, Rikaru Two-tails, attacked you," said a young, feminine voice. Inuyasha didn't look up to see whether her expression matched the bitter edge in her voice. "You got free and ran away when the other kitsune showed up. You were hurt; I was worried and tried to find you. I was only wanting to help you—Myoga had been telling me stories about you all winter, I wanted to meet you, get to know you.
"But when I found you, in the morning, you attacked me. I called down to you, and you looked up, and laughed, and tried to kill me. You did kill one of my friends. And if the trees hadn't intervened, you probably would have killed all of us."
The brutal imagery of Tsubaki's shattered body flashed across his mind, and Inuyasha clapped a hand across his mouth, to keep from retching. Not again! Not again! He hadn't wanted it, he'd risked coming into hostile territory, risked taking his brother's advice, on the chance that the magnolia would have a solution to his out of control blood. And maybe he'd found a solution, but not like this, maybe being human was all he deserved, for becoming something that couldn't control itself, but he hadn't been given a choice, and oh, gods, he remembered, the blood as he tore Tsubaki apart, and the stench, and the vile, all-consuming glee he had felt—
His stomach rebelled. He vomited, losing everything he'd eaten, while tears were forced from his eyes, and despair battled with shame. He didn't want to be human, not like this, not without a choice.
But, it might be all he deserved.
He didn't want to be a maddened killer.
He didn't want to be a mindless, murdering youkai!
Why did he have to be like this?
Why?
Author's Note: This was originally posted in October. It has been updated after editing for grammar and one small 'factual' change. (12/02/11)