Disclaimer: All rights to the name "K-On!" belong solely to Kyoto Studios and their affiliates. I neither own this franchise nor do I profit from the writing of this story.
Author's Note: Well somewhat fast update since I left you guys hanging for four months prior to the last chapter. Want to give many thanks to all those who have read and reviewed. Anyway enjoy the next chapter.
Azusa sat nervously as she was coming to grips with the fact that she was finally alone with Mio. She had often day dreamed about this day. Often in her fantasies she would always seem to know what to say, exerting her authority and knowledge when it came to music. She respected Mio as a fellow musician and it wasn't out of the realm of her imagination to want to speak to her concerning the theory behind their music and what could be done to improve the band.
Unfortunately reality did not conform to Azusa's wishes.
Her estranged relationship with Ui had left a bitter taste in the petite guitarist's mouth. While they had reconciled their differences it couldn't be denied that her former girlfriend was now avoiding her. This couldn't be helped and Azusa wasn't going to force the issue. It still pained her knowing that she was the source of Ui's sorrow but she soon shook those thoughts from her head.
This was the result of her actions and thus she had to bear the consequences. Azusa knew that to ask Ui to stay close to her despite being in a potential relationship with Mio would only bring more pain to the younger Hirasawa sister.
Looking up Azusa could see a pair of blue-gray eyes looking over at her in concern.
"Is something the matter Azusa?" asked Mio as she was opening a folder containing some music sheets.
"J-Just thinking is all." replied Azusa in a half-truth.
With that the petite guitarist took a sip from her latte and tried to forget the ramifications of her decisions. As she looked over at her beloved sempai Azusa wondered if Mio had gone through the same troubles as her concerning Mugi. The thought of the blond pianist inspired a spark of envy to well from Azusa and the petite guitarist shook her head as to rid herself of the thought.
Truth be told Azusa still felt guilty over Ui but didn't want to broach the subject to her sempai. Mio had gone through the trouble to ask her out on a date and she would not spoil it by bringing up a subject that was bound to cause dissension.
"Okay so here is where I am needing your opinion Azusa. Now in this new piece that I'm making here I was wondering as to whether I have your guitar part go down to Drop D tuning or should I have you remain in standard key and have Yui drop down instead?"
Any lingering issues regarding Ui went away immediately at the subject of music. This was within her element and Azusa felt a bit flattered that Mio would consult her in this way. She would do her best to not disappoint.
"I don't know Mio-sempai. Do you intend to have power chords at some point during the song?" asked Azusa.
"Well to be honest the thought of integrating power chords wasn't my original intent. I had thought that having one of you go to Drop D would help with the syncopation and differentiate between the two guitar parts. That way both guitar parts can be heard and not have one part overshadow the other." replied Mio.
Azusa gave a small smile. It was like Mio to give everyone in the band to express themselves and not feel like they were left out. This showed in her music writing. It wasn't like some other song writers where they were biased towards a certain individual or instrument. If anything the only part that never really stood out was the bass but then again that was also typical. Mio never liked being put on the spot light if she could help it.
It was then that Azusa suddenly came upon an idea.
"Let me ask you something Mio-sempai? What compelled you to suddenly write a new song like this? I mean the end of the year festival is only three months away. As it is we are kind of rusty due to lack of practice. I wouldn't be surprised if we couldn't get through the four songs we have in store right now."
An expression of contemplation came upon Mio. She held her hand underneath her chin and seemed to be pondering the correct words to respond with. It was then that her eyes brightened as she replied to Azusa's inquiry.
"Well truth be told I had thought that perhaps we should try something a bit different. Most of our music has been very upbeat, lovey-dovey and a bit on the naïve side. I just felt that perhaps we should go outside our comfort zone and express ourselves in a more serious manner." replied Mio.
"Express ourselves in a more serious manner? In what way?" asked Azusa curiously.
"Truth be told this has been on my mind since last year when we did our first out of school concert. The band that gave me the inspiration to go in this direction was 'Love Crisis.' There you had a group of girls of similar age to us and yet their music sounded so profound, serious and downright thought provoking at times. There was a sense of credibility in their words. Their lyrics were not inspired by their minds but as byproducts of their heart. Now I'm not saying that we completely emulate 'Love Crisis'. They have their style and we have ours. But I think it's high time that we show everyone that HTT isn't just about an innocent group of girls singing naively about the issues of love. No, we are more than that. We are young women that have suffered, have been hurt and have been forced to make difficult decisions. We are not idols, we are humans and it is my intention that my song express that, to the best of my ability." said Mio somberly.
Azusa did not miss the pained timbre of Mio's voice nor did she neglect to see the moistening of her sempai's eyes. In the fact of that it made the bruise on her cheek all the more difficult to bear seeing.
What kind of pains did you go through to bring this up all of all sudden?
Mio-sempai what are you hiding that you aren't telling the rest of us?
It was then that Azusa collected herself from her thoughts as she then made her response to Mio.
"I see that you have put a lot of thought into this Mio-sempai. If that is the case then this is what I propose then. Considering that your recent inspiration has come from 'Love Crisis' I recommend that you listen to other forms of music that may help inspire you. Think about what you want to accomplish and then incorporate it. Me, personally, I would have you on vocals. Now, before protest, keep in mind that this is YOUR song. Not only that but I don't think Yui would be right in expressing the serious manner in hand. This is not a slight to her singing ability but she isn't what we're looking for. Secondly I agree with the Drop D tuning. Assign the part to Yui. Incorporate some power chords that will make her stand out. I suggest the power chords in the beginning of the song so as to immediately show our audience that this song will be different from the rest."
"While Ritsu only has one petal I would highly suggest that she start learning how to blast beat, even if it is going to be in spurts. This would fit her aggressive, lively style of drumming and yet not test her execution or stamina too much. Once again have the blast beats come strong and aggressive early and then you can chose to mellow out the song as it progresses. I'm not sure what we can suggest for Mugi as I am not proficient in piano. Then again she is the one who normally writes her own parts. I will play in the standard key and adhere to whatever designs you have written up for me already."
"To be honest Azusa I was thinking about having you do the vocals." replied Mio quietly.
The petite guitarist nearly spat out her latte when she heard this. She looked over at her sempai like she was crazy. A terrible bout of goosebumps rang through Azusa's body and at once she started to shake her head.
"W-What? You can't be serious Mio-sempai! I can't sing there's no way that-"
"The song won't work with anyone else. In fact the lyrics and its content were all written with you in mind Azusa." said Mio as she started to blush a deep red.
Azusa could feel her heart beating more and more rapidly.
M-Mio-sempai was thinking of ME the entire time she was writing this song! Oh my God, oh my God! Does this mean that she has been having feelings for me all this time?
I'm both so happy and yet frightened at once. What if I don't meet up to her expectations? What if I fail her and Mio-sempai hates me forever?
Mio could see how conflicted her kouhai was and gave a comforting smile as she placed her hand on top of Azusa's own and gave it a small squeeze. Azusa felt like her body was about to instantly combust into flames.
"W-Why me?" asked Azusa nervously.
"Azusa. Out of all of us you are the one that best represents all that is pure and innocent. Imagine having you, the image of innocence, sing a song that describes your sorrow, your pain and lamentation. It would be simple for our listeners to sympathize with you, to come to grips with the expression of your weeping heart. I wouldn't be able to do that, nor would Yui. It has to be you, Azusa." said Mio.
The petite guitarist started to feel an irrational anger towards her sempai. Mio had a beautiful voice and Azusa couldn't understand why she would compromise the performance because she felt she wasn't the right person for the job. Azusa disagreed.
"Are you sure that you're saying this because I'm truly right for the job or are you just flaking out of singing because you don't want to be the center of attention?" asked Azusa seriously.
Mio's eye twitched when she heard this and she rose her fist and almost smacked Azusa on top of her head. It was then that she remembered that Azusa was not Ritsu and soon took a deep breath before responding.
"It's nothing like that. I'm going to be singing 'Light and Fluffy' time and 'My Love is a Stapler'. Why are you bringing up my credibility all of all sudden? I never knew you to be the accusing type Azusa." said Mio.
"It's not like you have given me reason to believe otherwise Mio-sempai. I mean I remember the last time you were absolutely petrified to go out and sing. We had to literally drag you out onto the stage. You tell me you're going to be singing both 'Light and Fluffy Time' and 'My Love is a Stapler' yet I wonder if you are going to come through."
"I mean look at us Mio-sempai! We're hardly prepared. You complain about us not practicing and yet you continue to indulge Mugi, Yui and Ritsu-sempai and their laziness. And when it comes time to perform you suddenly aren't able to pull yourself together. What reason, then did you form a band if you don't have the resolve to truly express yourself?"
A dark expression passed through Mio's face when she heard this.
Of course Azusa still thinks of me as the same person who was scared of her own shadow.
"Azusa I know I have not been the kind of person to inspire confidence. But let me make one thing clear. I'm not the same person as before. This…thing on my face is a result of my facing my fears." said Mio bitterly.
The weight of her words suddenly smote Azusa like a ton of bricks. An overwhelming sense of regret and guilt started to build up from the callous words which she had said to Mio.
"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you like that." replied Azusa quietly.
"Come I think it's time we made our way back home." said Mio softly as she started to pack her things and place them back inside her bass guitar case.
Azusa nodded silently.
The two young teenagers took their leave from the coffee shop as they soon started to walk toward the train station so that they could get back to their respective homes. It was a silent walk for the most part and a bit awkward.
Azusa cursed herself.
Great job Azusa.
You finally are alone with Mio-sempai and you make her feel miserable. She offers you the privilege to sing a song of her own making and instead of being grateful I call her character into question instead.
What a friend I'm turning out to be.
The scenery soon changed as Azusa realized that she and her sempai had walked into a park. There was no one else nearby. It was then that Mio stopped and then turned to face Azusa.
"I will confess that my fearful nature has been something that I hated about myself for so long. It wasn't until recently that I started to make the changes to my character in order to become a braver person. A person that is willing to stand up for themselves. A person capable of making hard decision and accept the consequences."
"You know sometimes I wonder as to why we are forced to make such decisions. Unfortunately I learned that you are not always given compromises. In order to move forward something has to give. Lately I have wondered if my past decisions were correct or not. I lament the pains I have caused others so that I can indulge in my own ambitions. Does this make me a cruel person? I'm not sure."
"I look about me and realize that these problems have been there for years and yet only now did I have the courage to address them. I would have failed had it not been for one person that was on my mind the whole time."
Azusa could feel Mio looking at her intensely. Those blue-gray eyes of hers seemed to have a hypnotic effect on the petite guitarist. All of all sudden she felt rooted to the ground unable to move. Nothing existed except herself and Mio.
"M-Mio-sempai…."
Without a second thought Mio closed the distance between them and kissed Azusa softly on the lips. The younger woman gave a small gasp of surprise before she settled into the kiss.
Azusa felt lost.
She didn't feel anything really other than the feeling of Mio's lips upon her own. For so long she had waited for the day that Mio would reciprocate her feelings and yet when the time came Azusa could not help but feel…nothing. The feeling of Mio's lips on her own were foreign, almost a violation.
But I love her…don't I?
Images of Ui's sullen form rang through Azusa's mind.
Why am I thinking about Ui now of all times? This should only be about me and Mio-sempai. Right?
This is what I wanted, right?
All the pain and torment so that I can finally have this moment. This is the summation of my decisions. For breaking Ui's heart so that I can be happy.
Then why is the last thing I can feel at the moment is happiness?
Mio too was conflicted.
Empty.
That's what it felt like kissing Azusa.
The kiss was chaste and didn't inspire any positive feelings. If anything Mio almost felt…disgusted at herself. It was like she was kissing a child and robbing her of her innocence.
This is what I have suffered for, right?
Everything that I have done to make myself a braver person. Rejecting Mugi. Questioning Ritsu's friendship. Defying my own father. All of this was so that I can make myself worthy of Azusa and show her that I too can be brave.
I would protect her, to prevent any harm that may go her way.
She is our little angel that we have been blessed with.
Yet now that she is within my grasp all I can feel is anger and disgust.
Is THIS supposed to represent the pinnacle of my happiness? This emptiness?
I love Azusa…don't I? Isn't this what I wanted?
In desperation Mio shoved her body closer to Azusa's so that their breasts met. Still there was nothing. No feelings of excitement, joy or happiness. Only more loathing and disgust towards herself for tainting the innocent creature she had within her grasp.
This was a far cry when she had kissed Mugi.
The thought of Mugi made Mio even feel more disgusted. But it could not be denied that what she felt with Mugi when they kissed was something…special.
But I don't love Mugi, don't I?
Then why does kissing Azusa not inspire the same feelings of elation when I kiss Mugi?
I don't even know what to think anymore.
Mio withdrew her kiss from Azusa and looked down to find her kouhai breathing deeply her face a deep red. Putting her finger underneath Azusa's chin Mio lifted her head up to stare down her eyes. The glazed look was still there but then a sudden clarity shone forth from Azusa's eyes as she narrowed them in anger.
At once she grabbed at Mio's hand and yanked it away from her.
"W-Why did you do that to me Mio-sempai?" asked Azusa in quiet anger.
This was a good question. Mio wasn't sure what suddenly possessed her to kiss Azusa like that. She remained silent.
"Did you even think about how I would feel? We're not even going out and yet you took the liberty to just kiss me just like that. Just because Mugi did it to you doesn't mean you can just turn around and do it to me." spat Azusa.
Mio continued to remain silent as she bore the brunt of Azusa's accusations. This isn't how it was all supposed to turn out. They should be happy right now being with each other!
Then why were they so miserable?
"I'm sorry Azusa. You're right. I didn't think about what I was doing. I…I just wanted to express to you that I am serious about my intentions towards you. I may have come across as a bit too strong. But I want you to know something."
I made my decision.
This is what I have wanted.
To have Azusa by my side. I promised myself that I would become braver just for her.
This…relationship may not be what I thought it was but in the end I cannot deny that I still love Azusa.
Even if it isn't in the way I thought it was.
With a newfound determination Mio looked over at her kouhai with a serious expression and soon spoke.
"I want to be in a relationship with you. I have wanted to be by your side and now I have finally worked up the courage to tell you. However I won't force you any longer. Tell me what your choice is and I will accept it."
Azusa had calmed down from her anger at this point now that she knew that Mio was serious about her intentions towards her and not just playing her as the fool. Even so Azusa could not help but feel some conflict within her.
Why is this so hard for me?
Mio-sempai is the one actually asking me out now! And instead of being happy I can't help but feel hesitant all of all sudden.
Truth be told the kiss from Mio was something that she didn't expect nor was it truly welcome. It felt strange, intrusive and borderline possessive. This was unlike Ui's kisses which inspired feelings of comfort, joy and care.
Maybe I just need some time to give this relationship a chance.
With a hesitant nod Azusa soon gave her consent.
"Okay Mio-sempai I'll go out with you."
The bassist gave a small smile from the acceptance and yet she didn't feel the overwhelming joy that she thought she would feel. Mugi came into her mind again, hurt, rejected and forsaken, but Mio shook her head. This was the price of her decision.
And she would do her best to make it work no matter what.
Author's Note: A rather short chapter to be honest. This felt…awkward to write and I'm sure that it shows. Even so I'm going to do my best to give Mizusa a chance but understand that this may not be the final pairing. I'm still on the fence on that since I took so much time nurturing the other relationships. I promise the next chapter will be much better though. Anyway hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you all think.