Hey guys!

I know I haven't been updating much but I'll try and get better with that, classes are getting the better of me at the moment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and that it's not moving too fast for you all.

I'd love to hear more feedback from you guys to see if you'd like anything included or if to suggest another angle to take, I'd really appreciate it :)

If we're only ever looking back

we will drive ourselves insane,

Steve didn't know if he liked shawarma or not. It tasted fine, but it was messy to eat and it really wasn't filling his appetite. But that might have been because he didn't really have one. They had just defeated the Chitauri army that invaded, but there was a ton of ruin surrounding them.

They almost lost Tony in the wormhole, a moment that everyone was sure they would never forget. They wouldn't forget anything about this day actually, and neither would the rest of the world.

Steve never thought he would see something like it, but then again he didn't think he would ever see 2012.

When they were finished their meal that Tony had insisted upon, they ventured out into the destroyed street where a SHIELD team was picking them up. They may have just saved the world, but everyone had a lot of questions for them and most blamed them. SHIELD wanted to take them in before anything could get out, they needed to figure out how to handle what was going on.

''How's Barton?'' Steve asked Natasha as they stood at the back of the jet en route to the helicarrier.

''He'll be okay,'' she nodded. ''I'm sure he'd feel a lot better if he had let go of that arrow pointed at Loki,''

''I don't blame him,''

Loki had been captured and escorted to a SHIELD facility where he would be locked until he and Thor were permitted to take the Tesseract back to Asgard. Thor hated the destruction his brother had brought upon New York, but he had put up a good fight to protect everyone, this wasn't his fault.

Tony was extremely quiet on the way back, no smart comments or jabs that he would usually make. Although no one expecting any sass right now, not after what he had been through, what any of them had been through.

When they finally made it back on board the helicarrier, it was almost empty. Teams had left to help clear the city and gather the Chitauri remains, but Nick Fury stood at the helm of the craft, welcoming the Avengers.

''That could have been a lot worse,'' he sighed. ''A lot worse,''

Fury looked over to Tony who didn't respond, instead he walked further down the corridor to one of the empty rooms where he would undoubtedly make a call to Pepper. He didn't need medics to check him out, Jarvis had given him everything he needed when they arrived back at the tower to collect Loki. The Hulk had beaten him almost to a pulp.

However the others did. They weren't complaining, but they were bruised and battered and the medical team was already waiting for them. A lot had to be done before they could think of their next move anyway.

''Rogers,'' Fury called out. ''Mind if we have a word?''

Steve immediately became suspicious. Fury was a secretive man, the possibilities were endless for whatever he wanted to talk about. Steve wandered off from the medics, making his way over to Fury who was now standing by the large window down the hall.

Privacy. This made Steve even more suspicious.

''I've got a lot to deal with, but I knew you'd want to know,''

Steve's jaw clenched as he folded his arms, knowing he wasn't going to like whatever he was about to be told.

There had to be a large piece of hot metal pressing against her side, there was no other way she could be feeling like this. There were other places on her body which were in a lot of pain too, but nothing amounted to what she felt on her abdomen.

Hayley remembered the Chitauri soldier aiming at her, but she was sure she started to run away or find cover, evidently she had been too slow. She was still in her tactical uniform except without her chest protection and she could feel pieces of gauze and bandage on her legs and arms. The smell of antibacterial equipment was enough to let her know she was no longer down in the street, but in the medical bay.

Reaching down to her stomach and wincing, Hayley began to lift her blood soaked shirt up high enough to feel where the burning was, but her hand was stopped before she could inspect any further. Snapping her eyes open, Hayley saw a figure standing next to her in the dark room. It only took a second to see the silhouette was Steve.

''It's gonna hurt like hell if you touch that,'' Steve advised, still holding her hand.

''It already hurts like hell,'' she winced. ''What are you doing here?''

''It's over, we won,''

Hayley stared at him for a moment, wondering if she was dreaming. There was a hole in the sky, aliens were attacking the city, it seemed impossible for it to be over or to win against that.

''The last time I looked up at the sky there was a...I don't even know how to describe it,'' she shook her head.

''I know, but they're gone now,'' he explained.

''What about Loki?''

''Secured, he's not gonna hurt anyone. Thor's taking him back to Asgard once everything is sorted,''

''So that's it? No more aliens or crazy Gods?''

''We hope not,'' Steve smiled.

Relaxing into her pillow now that she had confirmation that the fight had ended, Hayley let out a long sigh before wincing again suddenly, her hand going toward her stomach. Steve caught it once again, not allowing her to disrupt the painful injury.

''It's burning!'' she whined.

''Touching it won't help,'' he shook his head. ''Hey, just focus on me, think of something other than the burning,''

Steve held Hayley hand closed as he knelt down beside the bed, his eyes staring directly into hers. When Fury told him she had been hit with a Chitauri weapon beam, he didn't have to imagine how it felt. He had been hit with one too, but not as bad as Hayley had been. It had burnt her and pierced through her skin before blasting her into a collapsed wall. The tactical protection didn't stand up against the alien weaponry, but it did enough to save her life.

It had scared him more than all of what he had seen that day. The thought of losing her made his chest tight and he felt weak, he had grown too attached to her. It wasn't that he was dependent on the woman, but to think he would never hear her voice again or watch her squint into the sunlight made him worry beyond words. She was more than just a friend to him and he wasn't going to leave her here alone.

''You should be with the team,'' she told him through almost gritted teeth, still trying to take her mind off the pain.

''No, I should be here with you,'' he shook his head.

''Steve, it's nothing-''

''I'm not going anywhere,'' he declared. ''I'm staying right here,''

Hayley smiled up at him, squeezing his hand in hers. She never knew what she did right to have Steve in her life, but she knew she was lucky. As she stared at him she noticed the red stain on his suit.

''You're hurt,'' she frowned. ''Why didn't you go to the medics?''

''I'm fine,''

''Which is why you're bleeding,''

''I was bleeding, but now I'm fine,'' he assured.

Folding her arms, Hayley shook her head at him in disapproval. Before anything else could be said, a nurse walked in and slid on a pair of gloves, ready to inspect her injury. Hayley winced at the thought, already shifting in the bed.

''I know it hurts,'' the nurse spoke. ''But you've got a very nasty wound there and it could easily get infected,''

''Can't you just...I don't know, put a really big band aid on it?''

''It's not that simple. This is from a beam of energy, it's burnt into you and caused significant damage. We can wrap it and sterilize it for now, but I don't recommend anything strenuous at all for about a month. Also I think you should be on bed rest for a week or more, you can't risk stretching the wound,''

Hayley stared up at the nurse.

''The whole city is torn apart,'' she shook her head. ''I can't be laying in bed while people are dealing with that,''

''Your team on the ground got hundreds of civilians to safety and saved their lives, you've done enough. There are people down there helping already, your job now is to rest,''

Groaning in protest, Hayley leaned her head back on the pillow.

''I'll grab you some pain relief before you're escorted home,''

Steve thanked the nurse since Hayley seemed too aggravated for now. She waited until they were alone again before she spoke.

''Home? How can I go home when the city's falling to pieces?''

''Because what happened isn't your fault and it's not up to you to take care of it,'' he explained. ''You've done your part and you almost got killed doing it so I think you've done your part,''

''It doesn't feel right,'' she shook her head before turning to him with a worried look. ''Wait, where's Blake?''

''They assessed him and released him. He's with his division sorting a lot of things out after Coulson...there's a lot to work through,'' he told her. ''I asked about him on my way in, I though you'd want to know,''

Hayley reached out and grabbed his hand.

''Thank you Steve,''

It was late that night when Hayley returned to her apartment. The streets surrounding the SHIELD building were covered in dust and debris, making her feeling even worse about the fact she was going to be spending day after day in bed. But as Steve continued to remind her, at least she was alive.

Steve held onto Hayley's waist as she hobbled down the hall, refusing to accept any other help. It was a slow and painful walk to her door, but she was determined to do it herself. Blake stood on the other side of her, carrying a backpack filled with the few things she took on board the helicarrier with her and some pain medication to take in between the visits from the SHIELD nurses.

''Blake, honestly, I'm fine. Don't miss your flight because of me,'' Hayley told him for the fifth time as he unlocked her door.

''The jet leaves when I want it to,'' he shook his head, holding the door open for her and Steve to walk through.

''Laura has been worried sick, don't make her even more worried,'' she turned to look at him. ''After what you've been through, I don't want you to stay here one minute longer than you need to. I'm fine, I've been assigned to bed rest remember? I won't be going anywhere or getting into any sort of trouble. At least not while Steve's guarding me,''

''That's true,'' Steve chimed in. ''She'll be fine,''

Blake looked between the two of them for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and looking toward the door.

''Well...I suppose I could go soon,''

''You can go now,'' Hayley corrected. ''Get your ass on a plane and go see your girlfriend,''

Blake weighed up his decisions. He had been debriefed and attended a session with Dr Rafferty before being permitted to leave the city and he had even more sessions lined up when he got back. The sooner he started his break from SHIELD the better.

''I'll be back in a week,''

''You'll be back in two weeks,'' Hayley poked his chest. ''Take a damn holiday Elliot,''

''Ooh, when you hit me with the first name it hurts,''

''Well I'm serious,''

Blake smiled before reaching over and pulling her into a very gentle hug, mindful of her injuries. The two of them were family, they had to take care of each other. But Blake knew Hayley wouldn't let him stay and help, and to be honest he needed to get away. A God had been playing around in his head, he needed somewhere away from SHIELD for a while.

''Take care of her,'' Blake looked to Steve.

''Absolutely,'' Steve promised.

''The Battle of New York may be over but it is far from being forgotten. Citizens have gathered together to pay tribute to those who were lost in the unbelievable attack and to help crews clean up the streets in what will be a very lengthy recovery and a day that will go down in world history,''

Hayley couldn't take her eyes off the background on television. Buildings falling apart, people screaming and crying in fear as they ran for their lives. It was as if the Apocalypse had come.

''Each channel is gonna have the same thing playing you know,'' Steve told her as he handed her a cup of tea.

Even after the four hours of restless and uncomfortable sleep, Hayley still felt like it was only moments ago they were out there fighting. It was eight in the morning and she had watched countless stories on the attack on multiple channels.

''I should be out there,''

''You can hardly walk,'' he reminded. ''What happened out there wasn't your fault,''

''But it wasn't theirs either and look what they have to deal with,'' she shook her head. ''You're going out there to help, I just wish I could too,''

''I'm going out there because I'm not suffering from serious injuries. Two weeks of rest is going to go really slow if you keep making yourself feel guilty,''

Hayley chuckled.

''I am not laying in bed for two weeks,''

''Fine, lay on the couch,'' Steve shrugged. ''Either way you're resting for the full two weeks,''

''What, are you just going to stay here and monitor me the whole time?'' she raised her eyebrows.

''Well we are assigned to help each other and I have a feeling if I don't you'll try and walk down the street or something,'' he explained with a small laugh.

''So if I have to suffer, I'm taking you down with me? I like it,'' she laughed. ''But seriously-''

''I'm taking care of you, save your arguments,'' he advised before walking back into the kitchen.

Hayley turned her head on the couch to look over at him. She was definitely lucky to have Steve Rogers.

''Cleanup efforts on the streets of New York is well underway with teams from all around the country pitching in to help get the city back on it's feet...''

Hayley had the television on the background as she took another agonizing step toward the kitchen from her bedroom. Steve had been gone for just over five hours now to go help with the cleanup and assist SHIELD's team. It had been three days since being back home in her apartment and Steve had kept his word on staying and helping. It made it easier that he too lived in the building, but he didn't leave her for long.

It wasn't that she was going to fall over or die without him here, but Steve knew that Hayley was a stubborn and determined woman and therefore knew she would be pushing herself to recover quicker than the expected two weeks. Like right now, disobeying the nurse and Steve's instructions to stay in bed and rest. But she wanted some of the leftover pizza in the fridge and that required movement.

She should have known her timing would be all wrong. As soon as she grabbed the box, which took a few minutes to bend down and painfully reach for, she heard the door open and immediately cursed at herself for choosing now to be hungry.

''It's 7 pm okay, it was either this or I starve,'' Hayley immediately defended, spinning around.

However instead of being met with a disapproving look from Steve, she saw him standing there staring back at her with a large gash across his forehead, a gruesome line of blood flowing down his face. Steve held a tissue hard against it, but it clearly needed more than that.

''What happened to you?'' Hayley asked worriedly.

''Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks,'' Steve shrugged.

''It looks like you need stitches,'' she took a few steps closer, holding her stomach tight after abandoning the pizza box.

''And you look like you need to sit down,'' he closed the gap between them, his hand going around her waist and lifting her off her feet with just one arm.

''I was walking perfectly fine,'' she protested as he sat her down near the couch. ''Steve what happened?''

''It was nothing, just a bit of debris from a building we had to knock down,''

''So by debris you mean a piece of a building hit your head?'' she asked.

Steve didn't say anything, confirming her assumptions. He didn't want her to worry over a small gash, he would heal eventually.

''I'm getting the first aid kit, you need stitches,'' Hayley began to stand again.

''No, don't get up, you're not supposed to,''

''Then you go and get it, or I will,''

Frowning, Steve stood up and walked into the bathroom before returning with a small white box. Sitting down next to Hayley on the couch, Steve shook his head as if this was all unnecessary. Hayley rolled her eyes at his response and began tipping some antiseptic ointment onto a cotton pad and dabbing the cut, watching as his face squirmed in displeasure.

They were silent as Hayley began stitching the gash, Steve not wanting to move and Hayley not wanting to hurt him. She knew he was a super soldier and could handle so much more than just a cut to his head, but he was still human.

''So, you're allowed to take care of me but you don't like it when I take care of you, is that it?'' Hayley asked as she pulled away from him, finishing up the stitches.

''That's not it,'' he shook his head.

Hayley put her hand on his cheek, turning him to face her again as she dabbed at his cut for the final time to clean up.

''Then what is it?'' she asked quietly.

''I don't like seeing you worried,'' he admit. ''And there's no need to, I'm pretty sturdy,''

Steve grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

''Steve, you could be indestructible and I would still worry about you,'' she told him, putting down the cotton wipe. ''That's the whole point,''

Hayley turned her attention to the box on her lap, putting everything back where it belonged. Steve however couldn't take his eyes off her. It seemed that she was avoiding him, avoiding saying something that they needed to say. There had been an unspoken and ignored tension between them for too long now, one of them had to break it, and Steve was tired of dancing around it.

''The point of what?'' he asked, his voice coming out in a whisper.

When she looked back up at him, she noticed how close they actually were. Her heart started beating faster as she saw Steve's eyes staring directly into hers as if she was the only person that mattered to him right now, and she felt it too. It wasn't the best time, but it never would be.

''Of loving someone,''

Hayley's words were barely audible, but Steve heard her perfectly, which is why he felt the need to put his finger beneath her chin and gently pull her lips to his.