A/N: I still don't own this. More's the pity. .

One Wizard too Many

Ch 21

Island Refuge

Hermione gasped as the portkey popped them into existence above a pre-dawn Jamaican beach. Unlike their previous arrival, this portkey ride dumped them messily into the sand in a tangle of limbs.

Hermione quickly pushed herself up to her knees and looked over at her Harry, who was busy grunting in pain and convulsing slightly.

"Harry! What is it?" Hermione knelt over him in a near panic.

"Bbbbbennnddsss. Cccame upp too fassst." His explanation faded into a coughing spell.

"Decompression sickness! Harry, we have to get you into a hyperbaric chamber!"

Harry by this time wasn't responding much to anything outside of his own pain, concerning himself with trying not to throw up everywhere or possibly soiling himself. He was having a bad enough day as it was, thank you.

Hermione's mind spun furiously, trying to come up with some way to help Harry.

"Ok, he's suffering from the sudden lack of pressure. Hyperbaric chambers artificially simulate the higher pressures found at depth. There's no time to try and find a dive chamber, and I would have a difficult time explaining how we got here. Is there a magical solution?"

"What about a modified bubblehead?" She asked no one in particular. "It just might work!"

Overhead, she heard the crack of an incoming portkey. She scrambled for Harry's wand and looked up at the odd sight of a gently descending black dog.

"Sirius!" She rose to her feet.

The large black dog morphed into the familiar shape of Harry's godfather, who ran to the pair.

"Harry! Hermione! Glad I found you guys. How badly is he injured?"

"Very. We need to get him inside immediately."

"Right." Sirius grabbed Harry under the arms and heaved him over his shoulder.

"Careful, he's a broken wrist as well as a number of lacerations." Hermione admonished as they hurried to the beach villa.

Once within the shore side house (assisted by an alohomora on the fly, as no one had remembered the keys for the shuttered building), Sirius put Harry down on a bed. As soon as he touched the sheets, Harry gasped in pain.

Hermione poised Harry's wand for a moment. "Stand back, I don't know if this is going to work."

Sirius could only nod. He knew well enough when to stay out of a witches way when her wizard's well being was at stake.

Hermione cast the bubblehead charm on Harry successfully, paused a moment to perform some calculations, then performed an additional air conjuration on the bubble. A third spell would reduce the pressure slowly over a few hours and gradually decay the bubble until the composition inside equaled the pressure outside.

She thought aloud as she worked. "Ok, the approximate density of sea water is 1025 kilograms per metre squared. Black Lake is fresh water, so that density would be less. How much less? Maybe about 1000 kilos per metre squared. Either way, every ten metre submergence would equal about a one atmosphere increase in pressure. How deep was the mer-village? Call it about 25 metres, maybe. That would argue an increase in pressure of about two and a half atmospheres. Wait, arithmetic equations are all performed in English measurements as opposed to metric! Stupid hidebound wizards! Anyway… Exact pounds per square inch would be… Twenty five metres would be eighty four point four nine five feet, or one thousand thirteen point nine four eight inches in depth. Pressure increases at a rate of one psi for every twenty seven point six eight inches in depth, giving us a final psi of thirty six point six three zero. I think. But what about the relative differences in altitude above sea level between Hogwarts and here, or the temperature of the water? Oh god Sirius I might be killing him!" Hermione's long ramble ended in a train wreck of tears.

The older wizard moved to hug the near hysterical girl. "Easy there, my dear. Look, Harry seems to be getting better already."

Hermione wiped her eyes and saw that Harry had stopped trembling and now seemed to be resting much easier, although now completely unconscious. He still looked like hell, though.

She moved to cast some healing spells on the battered young man, but stumbled a bit as a dizzy spell took hold.

Sirius pulled the wand from her hand as he steadied her. "Whoa, I think you've had enough for today. Why don't you have a kip while I clean up the lad?"

Hermione took her place at Harry's side. "You're sure? I think episkey and bone-knitting charms should work for most of the damage…"

Sirius stopped her before another lecture could begin. "Hermione, I've this well in hand. If there's one thing I know well, it's how to put a Potter back together after they get themselves knocked about a bit. You need to just relax."

Hermione nodded tiredly and cuddled into Harry's side, knocking out almost immediately.

Sirius chuckled a bit to himself as he waved the borrowed wand over the sleeping couple.

"Behind every great Potter is a scarily determined witch!"

Hermione awoke some time later with a bad case of cotton mouth and one side of her face stuck to something.

"Ugh, what a way to wake up!"

A grimace and an unpleasant peel later, she discovered the mysterious surface was Harry's bare chest and the adhesive, apparently, was a large quantity of drool.

"Oh, that's gross! Well, the drool part anyway. Harry's chest is as nice as ever. More importantly, it is still rising and falling!"

Hermione was flooded with relief. She found her wand placed on a side table and cast a few diagnostic charms, confirming Harry's continued existence and progress towards good health.

She heard a door open behind her, and the quiet voice of Remus Lupin.

"Hermione, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Professor. Harry seems to be improving, as well."

"That's good to hear. You needn't worry about the medical scans; we have a diagnostic ward on him."

"Oh, well, that's great."

Remus smirked. "It's okay, I know Sirius and I sort of usurped your job. I promise we'll give it back after breakfast."

She smiled. "You better believe it! I have seniority." She stood up to stretch out a few kinks before joining the former Marauders for a late breakfast, kissing Harry on the cheek and leaving him to recuperate in peace.

She left the darkened bedroom and had to cover her eyes a moment as they adjusted to the bright Caribbean sunshine illuminating the villa's dining room.

Sirius looked up from his coffee. "Looking much better there kiddo. Sleep well?"

Hermione paused as she peeled an orange. "I would say I slept like the dead, but for the fact that the statement was very nearly rendered literal. Do you two have any idea what the heck has been happening over the past few days?"

Remus poured himself another cup of coffee and smiled thinly. "We have a bit of an idea. I managed to quiz some of the aurors following the riot, and I managed to buttonhole Albus after the task for a little background on that. Would you like to start, or do you want to wait for Harry?"

"I think we should wait for Harry to awaken before we go over recent events in detail, but I do have a few questions for you if you don't mind answering them?"

"Certainly, ask away."

Hermione paused, in order to arrange her queries properly.

"Right, the riot. Why was Percy acting so aggressively towards us? He's usually pretty condescending, but never quite that violent."

Remus answered. "Short answer: somewhere in the commotion somebody hit him with an Imperius directed to attack you."

"Imperius? And no idea who may've cast it?"

"Nope, no indication of a wand signature, what with all the free-floating magic present. The investigative aurors believe it was cast shortly after you hit Ron. The distraction provided both an opportunity to cast the spell and a pretext to explain Percy's unusual behavior." Remus said.

"How do they know it was an Imperius? Professor Moody taught us the curse was completely untraceable?"

Sirius answered. "It usually is, but only after the spell is broken. If a proficient Legilmancer can scan the victim while still somewhat in thrall, they can detect a specific mental residue."

"Fortunately, the Weasley clan has always been unusually susceptible to mental magics, and Albus was able to spot the curse and provide an approximate timeline." Remus finished.

Hermione grinned slightly in remembrance of Ron skipping uncontrollably following that most unusual DADA lesson.

"Ok, that makes sense, even if it is most definitely a cause for concern. Next, why were we attacked by hostile aurors outside the Hall? They seemed rather unprofessional in their demeanor."

"That may be due to the fact that the training platoon from the Auror Academy was the first responder." Remus said. "Apparently, Auror Dawlish was the duty instructor that day and felt a realistic lesson was in order. Combine the officer's inexperience with the fact that most Aurors are often former Slytherins, and you have a recipe for trouble."

"Why does the Auror corps recruit so heavily from Slytherin house?" Hermione wondered.

Sirius grinned sadly. "It's all thanks to Snivvely and the Auror potions requirement. Unless you wear silver and green, it's very difficult to get a NEWT in potions. The same problem exists for Healers and Apothecaries as well. Lovely how one awful git can change our society in such a fundamental way."

"As a result, younger Aurors have a distressing tendency towards rudeness when dealing with anyone not known to be Pureblood." Remus said.

"My cousin Dora is one of the few non-Slytherin Aurors to graduate in the past decade, and her partner Kingsley Shacklebolt is a transfer from the Magical Commonwealth forces. Cher Dora has complained extensively about the amount of hazing they seem to encounter, all because they don't share the same set of grand-parents!"

Hermione was appalled. "Just how corrupt and incestuous is magical culture?"

Sirius grinned ruefully. "More than you can imagine."

"Okay, societal flaws aside, what happened after our unsuccessful flight from the castle? The last thing I remember is being forcefully introduced to a wall before waking up in the lake. How long was I out, and what happened to both Harry and I in that interim?"

"Well, after you were hit, Harry sort of… snapped." Remus said

"Snapped?"

"Yup. Went right mental and nearly killed two dozen Auror trainees." Sirius added.

"What!? You said nearly killed, right? He didn't actually kill anyone, did he?"

Remus looked contemplative for a moment. "Define 'anyone'."

Hermione glared at the werewolf. "Did Harry end the lives of any Aurors that day?"

"No Aurors were killed in the incident yesterday. However, three were medically discharged due to injury."

"Okay. That's better than the massacre it could have been. Whom did Harry kill though?"

"Well, let me put it this way: the mermen population density in the Black Lake is a bit lower than it was this time yesterday. How much so? No one yet knows." Remus stated.

"Oh Harry." Hermione groaned as she grasped her forehead with both hands. "What about Crouch? That spear sticking out of his midsection didn't look very healthy."

"The esteemed Director hasn't turned up yet, it seems." Remus said. "He is a notoriously private man, so a session with a private Healer is likely. If he had died of his injuries, the Ministry would most likely have released a statement. They track the life signs of the high level personnel."

"Well thank all the deities that Harry didn't publically murder a Ministry director!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Yeah, just publically maim and attempt to murder the 'Honourable' Mister Crouch." Sirius said with a grin. Unsurprisingly, his views on the Ministry were of a kind with his views on magical gonorrhea.

"All right." Hermione said, trying to assimilate the given information. "Obviously Great Britain and Hogwarts are over for us. Where should we go now?"

At this, Remus perked up a bit. "Actually, your refugee status may be a little premature."

"How? Harry nearly murdered his way through magical society? We can't possibly go back. Ever." Hermione began to get a little misty eyed at this point. Britain, for all its flaws, was her home!

"You're forgetting; Harry has immunity."

"That cannot possibly work. Can it?" Hermione was utterly bewildered. "No. That would be completely insane. Even Magicals can't be that daft!"

Sirius grinned in an evil manner. "Oh, they're much more daft than all that!"

"Indeed. As it happens, all the mayhem Harry participated in falls under the purview of the Tournament rules." Remus supplied.

"I find that incredibly amazing in a purely horrific way. There is something so very, very wrong about this." Hermione remarked flatly. She knew she really shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore.

"I know! I am so jealous!" Sirius enthused.

"Harry needs to return to complete the tournament if he wishes to remain magical. The immunity makes that possible. We will get a binding guarantee of said immunity before we let you two set foot in Scotland though."

"Okay, whatever you think is best. This immunity does cover me as well, right?"

Remus grinned. "Luckily, as Harry's 'council and second', you also get a reduced version of his coverage. Enough to excuse any action in defense of the tourney entrant or basic self protection at any rate."

Hermione sighed. "I suppose there's no way we can just hop back for the event? Britain seems to be unusually dangerous for us at the moment."

"I wish you could." Remus rubbed his tired eyes. "Technically, you yourself can stay away. Harry must return within a certain timeframe per tournament rules."

"No. Where he goes, I go also."

Sirius just couldn't stop the grin. "You know he's gonna try and keep you here, right?" These two were just too cute!

It was Hermione's turn to grin. "Emphasis on the word 'try'. Extra emphasis on the phrase 'and fail miserably'."

Remus' chuckle was cut off by a twinge in the wards. "Well, looks like our sleeping beauty is coming around."

Hermione pushed off of her knees with her hands and stood up. "Hope Harry is up for some plotting and a bit of brunch. We've work to do!"

AN: Once again, sorry for the long (two year!) delay. I'd blame my muse, but she might go on sabbatical again. This story was started on a whim as a bit of a lark (like many stories here, I'm sure) and when the impetus ran out, it was tough to get it going again. RL concerns also make stuff like this difficult, and blah blah I couldn't be arsed to finish something I started. Sorry it took so long to update and hopefully we'll get to the next chapter in something less than a congressional term. If this chapter seems short, my apologies. I just needed to get this thing restarted. In the next installment: Harry catches up and the pair returns to Hogwarts. Cheerio!