Disclaimer/Author Note/Rating: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimers, legal info, etc.
Go raibh maith agaibh:
Twistedmind… Cruel cliffhangers? LOL. Those are the best kind. Hopefully you'll say that several more times before this story is over!
Trina/Leonora… In my story (it is AU, don't forget), Voldemort has not become corporeal… yet. So there is no Dark Mark on Severus that Serena could see right now. That may change in the future, who knows?
Wyall Jared… Ah, the letter. Read on, my friend and that shall be revealed.
Annie Black… This chapter may seem to confirm your fears, but don't forget, the story isn't over yet… You never know what might happen!
-- -- -- -- -- -- --
Chapter 21: Secrets Revealed
As Serena began to deal out her future onto the coffee table, Severus rode the spiraling staircase up to Dumbledore's office.
"You wished to see me, Headmaster?"
Dumbledore looked up from the book he was reading at this desk and peered over his glasses. Next to him, Fawkes stretched his wings and made a small chirrping noise.
"Ah, Severus. Yes, I wanted to talk to you for a moment about Serena. About you and Serena."
Snape grew very still, wary now of Dumbledore's intent. He and Serena had taken great pains to keep their relationship private. During class hours they were almost never alone together. While it wasn't altogether a secret that they were seeing each other, they both endeavored to keep their professional and private lives very separate.
"Is there a problem? Has someone complained?" Snape's voice had an edge.
"No, no," said Dumbledore as he raised a hand. "In fact, I admire the effort you've both put in to keep your private lives exactly that. But I have some personal concerns with it."
"Such as?"
The old wizard sighed as he looked at Snape's folded arms and hard expression. "You haven't told Serena much about your past have you? About your previous… affiliations."
Snape's silence was all the answer Dumbledore needed.
"She needs to know, Severus. She deserves to know."
"She'll despise me for what I was," the potions professor snapped back. "She will see in me the people who murdered her mother."
"Yet what will she do if someone else tells her? Then if she asks you, will you lie to her?"
"No…" He hesitated. "No, I wouldn't lie to her, but…"
"It would be better if she heard it from you, Severus."
He shook his head and turned a little away from Dumbledore, his arms folded even more tightly in front of him. "I am not proud of some of the things I did, and there are still some who have not forgiven me my youthful indiscretions. Serena would cast me aside…"
"You give her too little credit, Severus. Oh yes, she'll be angry over it. Confused. Even frightened. But if you continue with your silence all of those emotions will be made worse; in the silence their shadows will grow until the shadow overwhelms the truth. It will appear you don't care for her. It will appear that you have deliberately tried to deceive her."
"I have not! Albus, you know I've tried to atone for my mistakes… I am a Death Eater no longer!" said Severus. "I care for Serena very much. I… adore her." He almost said the word love. He'd said it in his head before, many times, but had not yet turned it into a tangible, spoken word. I love her, he thought to himself. By all the stars in the universe, I love her.
Dumbledore seemed to read his mind. "Then if you love her, Severus, you have to tell her."
"Thank you for your advice, Headmaster." Snape walked stiffly out of the room. Part of him was furious, seeing Dumbledore's advice as interference and he bristled, but at the same time he knew the Headmaster was right and admitting that someone else was right had never been one of his strong points. Then and there, he made up his mind.
Rather than return to Slytherin House, he went back to the cottage. Serena had long since told him he didn't need to knock when he got there, and the door was keyed to recognize him and let him in unchallenged.
"Serena…"
He knew something was wrong the instant the door shut behind him. The tension, the fear in the air was palpable, a living and breathing wraith that hovered in the corners of the room, watching.
"Serena?"
She walked slowly and deliberately down the steps from the kitchen and into the living room. Halfway across the floor, she held out a sheet of paper. "Is this true?"
Severus felt a crushing weight constrict around him, forcing the air from his lungs, the blood from his face. He knew what he'd find in that letter. He had planned to tell her the truth, so that she heard it from him, and hoped against hope that she would understand. No chance of that now. Someone else had done the job for him.
He forced his hand not to tremble as he took the letter from her.
Sweet Serena. You have been deceived… You are sleeping with the enemy. Severus Snape hasn't told you the truth. What is it like, to be held, to be touched so intimately by a Death Eater? What secret things does he whisper in your ear, Serena? What would your murdered mother think of this?
A dagger buried to the hilt in his chest would have hurt less than the pain that came from reading the elegant script on the paper, and even that pain paled to the stricken look in Serena's eyes.
"Is it true?"
"Serena…"
"Is it true?" she shouted. Please, she thought, let this be a lie! Let some cruel person just be trying to hurt me… Severus, please tell me this is a lie!
"It… was…" His voice trailed away when he saw the horrified look on Serena's face.
"And you never told me?" She felt cold, her skin clammy. This can't be happening! How could he not tell me? How could I not know?
"I was going to… I was afraid…"
"You followed HIM?"
Severus knew she meant Voldemort. "Serena, I did but when I realized…" Let me explain, he silently begged. Just hear me out…
She wasn't interested in hearing anything Severus had to say. She was too angry, felt too betrayed to listen to any of his reasons. They all sounded like the start of excuses to her.
"Were you at Castlebann?" Her voice was cold.
"No!"
She stared at him, struggling not to cry.
"No," he repeated. "No, I wasn't. Please believe me on that account, Serena. That is something I would never have done. I've wanted to tell you all of this, Serena, but I was afraid of what…"
"You were afraid? Or was it a challenge to work your way into my life… to get me to care about you!" It was a cruel thing to say, but right now, she was willing to believe the worst. Accuse him of the worst.
"Afraid? Yes, I was afraid!" He shouted back at her now. "If you had known from the start about my past, would any of this every have happened? Would you have let yourself see past my mistake and see me?"
I would never have given you the time of day. You callous bastard. You used me… "Get out," she ordered.
"Serena…"
"GET OUT!"
Severus walked to the door, defeated, heart-broken. He looked back over his shoulder as he opened the door, hoping for a reprieve. Please, his eyes said, please give me another chance, Serena. It isn't what it appears to be…
Tears were streaming down Serena's cheeks. Unable to speak, she merely pointed a finger. Her message was clear: get out.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Let me know what you think! But don't think this is the end, there is plenty more to come with Serena, Severus and Malificus, too! Please read/review!
Go raibh maith agaibh:
Twistedmind… Cruel cliffhangers? LOL. Those are the best kind. Hopefully you'll say that several more times before this story is over!
Trina/Leonora… In my story (it is AU, don't forget), Voldemort has not become corporeal… yet. So there is no Dark Mark on Severus that Serena could see right now. That may change in the future, who knows?
Wyall Jared… Ah, the letter. Read on, my friend and that shall be revealed.
Annie Black… This chapter may seem to confirm your fears, but don't forget, the story isn't over yet… You never know what might happen!
-- -- -- -- -- -- --
Chapter 21: Secrets Revealed
As Serena began to deal out her future onto the coffee table, Severus rode the spiraling staircase up to Dumbledore's office.
"You wished to see me, Headmaster?"
Dumbledore looked up from the book he was reading at this desk and peered over his glasses. Next to him, Fawkes stretched his wings and made a small chirrping noise.
"Ah, Severus. Yes, I wanted to talk to you for a moment about Serena. About you and Serena."
Snape grew very still, wary now of Dumbledore's intent. He and Serena had taken great pains to keep their relationship private. During class hours they were almost never alone together. While it wasn't altogether a secret that they were seeing each other, they both endeavored to keep their professional and private lives very separate.
"Is there a problem? Has someone complained?" Snape's voice had an edge.
"No, no," said Dumbledore as he raised a hand. "In fact, I admire the effort you've both put in to keep your private lives exactly that. But I have some personal concerns with it."
"Such as?"
The old wizard sighed as he looked at Snape's folded arms and hard expression. "You haven't told Serena much about your past have you? About your previous… affiliations."
Snape's silence was all the answer Dumbledore needed.
"She needs to know, Severus. She deserves to know."
"She'll despise me for what I was," the potions professor snapped back. "She will see in me the people who murdered her mother."
"Yet what will she do if someone else tells her? Then if she asks you, will you lie to her?"
"No…" He hesitated. "No, I wouldn't lie to her, but…"
"It would be better if she heard it from you, Severus."
He shook his head and turned a little away from Dumbledore, his arms folded even more tightly in front of him. "I am not proud of some of the things I did, and there are still some who have not forgiven me my youthful indiscretions. Serena would cast me aside…"
"You give her too little credit, Severus. Oh yes, she'll be angry over it. Confused. Even frightened. But if you continue with your silence all of those emotions will be made worse; in the silence their shadows will grow until the shadow overwhelms the truth. It will appear you don't care for her. It will appear that you have deliberately tried to deceive her."
"I have not! Albus, you know I've tried to atone for my mistakes… I am a Death Eater no longer!" said Severus. "I care for Serena very much. I… adore her." He almost said the word love. He'd said it in his head before, many times, but had not yet turned it into a tangible, spoken word. I love her, he thought to himself. By all the stars in the universe, I love her.
Dumbledore seemed to read his mind. "Then if you love her, Severus, you have to tell her."
"Thank you for your advice, Headmaster." Snape walked stiffly out of the room. Part of him was furious, seeing Dumbledore's advice as interference and he bristled, but at the same time he knew the Headmaster was right and admitting that someone else was right had never been one of his strong points. Then and there, he made up his mind.
Rather than return to Slytherin House, he went back to the cottage. Serena had long since told him he didn't need to knock when he got there, and the door was keyed to recognize him and let him in unchallenged.
"Serena…"
He knew something was wrong the instant the door shut behind him. The tension, the fear in the air was palpable, a living and breathing wraith that hovered in the corners of the room, watching.
"Serena?"
She walked slowly and deliberately down the steps from the kitchen and into the living room. Halfway across the floor, she held out a sheet of paper. "Is this true?"
Severus felt a crushing weight constrict around him, forcing the air from his lungs, the blood from his face. He knew what he'd find in that letter. He had planned to tell her the truth, so that she heard it from him, and hoped against hope that she would understand. No chance of that now. Someone else had done the job for him.
He forced his hand not to tremble as he took the letter from her.
Sweet Serena. You have been deceived… You are sleeping with the enemy. Severus Snape hasn't told you the truth. What is it like, to be held, to be touched so intimately by a Death Eater? What secret things does he whisper in your ear, Serena? What would your murdered mother think of this?
A dagger buried to the hilt in his chest would have hurt less than the pain that came from reading the elegant script on the paper, and even that pain paled to the stricken look in Serena's eyes.
"Is it true?"
"Serena…"
"Is it true?" she shouted. Please, she thought, let this be a lie! Let some cruel person just be trying to hurt me… Severus, please tell me this is a lie!
"It… was…" His voice trailed away when he saw the horrified look on Serena's face.
"And you never told me?" She felt cold, her skin clammy. This can't be happening! How could he not tell me? How could I not know?
"I was going to… I was afraid…"
"You followed HIM?"
Severus knew she meant Voldemort. "Serena, I did but when I realized…" Let me explain, he silently begged. Just hear me out…
She wasn't interested in hearing anything Severus had to say. She was too angry, felt too betrayed to listen to any of his reasons. They all sounded like the start of excuses to her.
"Were you at Castlebann?" Her voice was cold.
"No!"
She stared at him, struggling not to cry.
"No," he repeated. "No, I wasn't. Please believe me on that account, Serena. That is something I would never have done. I've wanted to tell you all of this, Serena, but I was afraid of what…"
"You were afraid? Or was it a challenge to work your way into my life… to get me to care about you!" It was a cruel thing to say, but right now, she was willing to believe the worst. Accuse him of the worst.
"Afraid? Yes, I was afraid!" He shouted back at her now. "If you had known from the start about my past, would any of this every have happened? Would you have let yourself see past my mistake and see me?"
I would never have given you the time of day. You callous bastard. You used me… "Get out," she ordered.
"Serena…"
"GET OUT!"
Severus walked to the door, defeated, heart-broken. He looked back over his shoulder as he opened the door, hoping for a reprieve. Please, his eyes said, please give me another chance, Serena. It isn't what it appears to be…
Tears were streaming down Serena's cheeks. Unable to speak, she merely pointed a finger. Her message was clear: get out.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Let me know what you think! But don't think this is the end, there is plenty more to come with Serena, Severus and Malificus, too! Please read/review!