Chapter 21
2 weeks have gone by since I have been home. I have kept my secret to the best of my knowledge, and the only one who knows the truth is Sawyer. Sawyer was there from day one and he knows everything. I walk back and forth between the kitchen and the living room bouncing a colicky Charlie. Christian comes home finally, and slams the front door. I know this isn't good. Between Charlie being colicky and now this I am at my wits ends. "Ana, he wants to see you and I don't think he is happy." I hand Gail Charlie and take deep breath. Oh this is not good. I make my way to the office and stand outside the door for a few moments before I knock. My stomach is doing flips and I can't seem to control the overwhelming sensation to vomit.
"Come in!" He growls at me, I slowly open the door and peek my head in, "Hi sweetheart, is everything ok?" I try to act as normal as I can be. I walk in and sit across from him on the leather sofa. He is staring right through me, as I sit nervously. I have never seen this side of him. I am starting to feel the urge to vomit again. I take another deep breath and wait. He is still staring at me. He looks like a lion tormenting his prey. Given the chance he would pounce and attack and not in a good way. This man is angry and by angry I mean infuriated. The anger is coming off of him like heat from a radiator.
"Ana, do you think I am stupid? Did you think I wouldn't find out?" I look down at my hands and start to fidget, I cant look at him, I know what I have done, I have lied to him and kept all of this from him, "Ana I went back through and checked the gps on your phone and then I went through all the surveillance camera's of the places you have been. What do you think I saw?" He pulls out a manila envelope and opens it. What he pulls out is a picture, a picture of Charles Dewitt and myself at the coffee shop. I know I have to explain, I just don't know how too.
"Christian I had to, I did this for us. I had to get her out of our lives for good. All she ever did was cause problems for us. Do you understand that she was never going to leave us alone?" I finally yell, I am finally able to get the secret out I have been hiding. I start to cry as I start to tell him everything. "She was always there, I knew Charles would be the one to get her to leave us alone. You never forget your first love and he was Elena's first love. He was the one who introduced her into the life style; it was him who made her think it was ok to take advantage of you! I blame him for everything and I knew that if he told her to stay away and leave us alone she would. I never thought in a million years she would have killed herself." I sob, I can't control the tears pouring out of my eyes. The urge to vomit slowly creeping back up, I take another breath and push the sensation away.
He just stares at me with the same look he gave me when I told him I was pregnant with Charlie. He finally whispers through gritted teeth, "You got rid of one child molester just to bring another one into our life. Real good Ana, did you think about Charlie? Not only did you put your life in danger but also you put our daughter at risk. This fucking pervert could kidnap Charlie or worse. What were you thinking and look what he did to you! Ana he could have killed you! He could have taken you away from Charlie and I. Jesus fucking Christ Ana what were you thinking!" I watch as he takes a deep breath and stands up, he runs his hands through his hair and kneels down in front of me, "What is this fuckers name?"
I swallow hard and wipe the tears from my face, "Charles…Charles Dewitt. I have all of his information. I contacted a friend who did some digging and got me everything I needed. Christian I am so sorry, I just didn't know what else to do." I look at the floor not wanting to make eye contact with him. I hear Charlie start to cry and I realize its time to nurse her I start to get up and Christian just moves out of my way with out saying a word. When I get to the door I stop and turn around and look at him, "Christian, I am sorry." I walk out the door to find Gail and Charlie.
Three hours have passed and Christian still isn't talking to me and I don't even know if he is home. I have been in Charlie's room rocking and cuddling her. I know what I did was wrong and I know should have told him what I wanted to do but how could I? I mean really what was I supposed to say," Hey Christian I contacted Elena's first dom to make her stay away from us." Like he would really understand that. I don't know how to fix this, but I will. I can't lose my family over all of this. If I lose them in the end Elena will win and I will not have that.
I find myself in my bed with Christian next to me, I honestly don't remember coming to bed. I snuggle close to him and take in his scent. I love the way this man smells. He smells of safety, of love, he smells of home and I am not going to lose this. I snuggle a little closer and close my eyes. I start to fall asleep when I feel him brush my hair from face, " I love you Mrs. Grey, I always will and we will figure all this out. I will not lose you to this monster. I promise you I will never let him hurt you again." He kisses the side of my head and holds me close to him.
The hot water from my shower soothes my emotionally drained body. I finish up and walk into the hallway, the smell of breakfast fills my nose and I realize how hungry I truly am. I skipped dinner last night and now I'm ravished. I sit at the breakfast bar and Gail hands me my tea and orange juice and places a plate of French toast and bacon in front of me. I immediately dig into my plate, "Thank you Gail. I want you to know I appreciate all you do for us." She smiles and walks back into the kitchen, the woman needs a break. I think we should send her to visit her sister in San Diego.
The morning came and went without any word from Christian. He was gone before I woke up and I know he is still angry with me. I don't blame him though. I fucked up and he is right Charlie is now at risk of being kidnapped or worse. I know he isn't going to let me out of the house. I better be used to being on lock down since Charles is still out there.
Dinner comes and goes and he still isn't home. I haven't spoke with him all day and now I am getting worried. I check my emails once more before going to bed, shit 10 new messages none of them are from Christian. Oh but one is from Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins.
Dear Ana and Christian and of course Baby Charlie,
Hello all just checking in with you. We just left Mount Rushmore and we are slowly headed back east. We miss you all terribly and hope to see you soon. How about you fly out here for Thanksgiving? We would love to have you back in the cape. Well we hope you are doing well. Please send pictures of Charlie we can't wait to see how big she has gotten. Take care and we love you.
Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins.
I close my laptop and smile I truly miss them. They mean so much to me and I hope that we can go and see them for Thanksgiving. I put Charlie down early for bed hoping Christian would be home but he still isn't. I look over at the clock and its already 9 o'clock. I am so stupid I shouldn't have kept this from him. I am so ashamed of what I have done. The guilt I feel makes me sick and I run to the bathroom and vomit. I curl up on the floor and press my face to the cool tile. I pull my knees up to my chest and quietly sob my self to sleep.
Why am I so hot ugg I'm sweating like a pig what the hell is going on? I open my eyes and realize I am in my bed with Christian's arm is wrapped tightly around me and I start to feel some relief knowing he is home holding me close. I relax my body and just as I am about to fall asleep I feel Christian brush my hair out of my face and kiss my cheek.
"I love you baby girl, please know that. I just get upset, and I don't want to lose you or Charlie. You both are my life and I will make sure that I keep you safe." He squeezes me and I moan snuggling into his arm.
I love this man and I love our life together. We will fix this I just know we will. I roll over and bury my face into his chest and leave light kisses over his scars soon we will be in our house with Charlie where we can spend the rest of our lives together.
Christian pulls me closer to him and squeezes me with all his might. "I love you Chris please don't leave me." I beg
"Leave you? Baby, I am never leaving you, you and Charlie are my life and my reason for living. Am I angry with you? No, not any more. Disappointed? Yes. However, I understand why you did what you did. Now enough talking and climb on top of me I want to feel you wrapped around me. " He growls and lift me on top of him.
I slowly lower myself on top of him. I slide on him grinding myself all the way down. I slowly ride him. I want to make love to him slowly. I don't want to rush through this. I haven't made love to him since the attack.
Just as I am about to have my release I hear Charlie start to wake. Christian growls and flips me over so he is on top of me. He spreads my legs wide and slams into me hard, and growls "As much as I want to go slow and make love to you baby, I know we only have about 10 minutes. I need to make this quick so we can finish."
I groan and start bucking my hips to meet him thrust for thrust. "Promise me tonight we can make love slowly I want to take my time, I have missed this. Us."
He looks down at me and smiles and attacks my mouth with his. His kisses are breathtaking, he pulls back and whispers, "Yes. Tonight." He finds his release and I feel him fill me. Just as he slides out of me Charlie starts to cry. I sigh and run to the bathroom to clean up before I go and take care of my crying baby.
I leave the bathroom to find Christian shirtless holding Charlie swaying back and forth feeding her. God I love this man and I don't know how to make up for my stupidity. I love my family and my life. I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist from behind and kiss his shoulders. "I love you Christian. I always will."
"I know you do and I love you."
"I am sorry for everything"
"I know" is all he says.
I kiss his shoulder again and walk back into the bathroom. Once I get there I start to feel sick and dry heave into the toilet. I know Christian can hear me and sure enough when I stop he is standing in the door way, his face is pale and horrified, I wipe my mouth and stand up, "What's wrong love? You look like you have seen a ghost."
"How long has this been going on baby?"
"What being sick? Oh its just stress and worry. No reason to stress babe, I don't need you getting sick too." I chuckle and smile at him.
He nods and walks out of the bathroom. I finish getting dressed and meet my beautiful family in the kitchen. I stop and stare at the picturesque scene in front me and all I can think about is protecting my family, and making sure Charles Dewitt is taken care of.