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"Psst...Rena- wake up!"

"I, like, never knew she snored."

"Her neck is at an odd angle, it will hurt when she wakes."

"What the fuck! Like that even matters! This is all your fault potato bastard!"

"How is this my fault?"

"Prussia is your brother."

"Hey Iggy, why are we tied to chairs?"

"How the bloody hell should i know!"

"Is there any reason that you guys won't let me sleep!" Rena shouted, finally waking up. She was startled to find that everyone besides Sweden, Prussia, and France were tied to chairs and seated around the table. "What the hell!"

"Shhh!" Riley shushed frantically. "The dogs are sleeping!"

"So you just shout out that they are sleeping, how will that help them sleep!" Romano shouted.

"You guys make a lot of noise." Prussia commented as he walked in with a snickering France who carried a few rolled up posters.

"Let us go you bloody frog!" England cried.

"No can do," Prussia said. "you see it just occured to me that i never gave West 'The Talk'."

Germany paled.

"W-what the fuck does that have to do with us!" Romano yelled, trying to ignore his reddened face.

"I figured, why leave you guys out of the fun?" Prussia answered, grinning.

"We don't have all night, Prussia." France reminded.

"Right," Prussia nodded, becoming professional. "France put down the first poster."

Rena flinched and her face turned red before she squeezed her eyes shut. America laughed, having not been paying attention, as he stared at England's look of horror. China stared at the poster silently, his face a brilliant shade of red as was Poland's. Romano was swearing continually and Germany had paled as he gapped at the picture. Riley tilted her head in confusion, not understanding what was on the poster.

"This," Prussia said, using a stick he had found as a pointer. "is a penis in it's engorged state. It can be called an erection, boner, stiffy, chubby, or hard on- there are many names for it but these are just a few. France, lay the second poster beside it."

France complied. Riley turned red as the trapped males all paled, America finally paying attention. Rena had her eyes still closed and was muttering to herself something that sounded like "go to your happy place, go to your happy place, go to-"

"Now this," Prussia pointed to the second picture. "is a vagina. Both are vital regions to males and females respectivly. Now a guy's Jr. gets excited by various thing, it can be from thoughts, reading, pictures, or watching something and when your Jr. become happy it will stand at attention- which sucks when it happens at the wrong time. Now it is harder to tell if a girl is excited as their miniatures do not stand, they get wet- it can rang from damp to dripping."

"As a guy it is your duty to get a girl's miniature to drip, you are a failure if it is only damp." France interupted.

Prussia glared at him before continuing. "Many things can go into a girl's miniature- fingers, vibraters, dildos, tounges, and your cock. When you are preparing to enter it is a good idea to search for the girl's 'G-spot' as that will excite her even more. Upon entering, i recomend that you aim for her g-spot. France!"

France laughed as he layed another poster down.

"Now while it is completely unawesome, you must remember to always always use protection as one might be deseased- not that us nations can get them- or you might get the girl pregnant- which you would not have to worry about for female nations as they can't reproduce." Prussia lectured, glaring at his brother who sputtered at the attention.

"Birds do it, bees do it

Even educated fleas do it

Let's do it, let's fall in love~" France sang until Prussia whacked him with his stick.

"All of you might not be strait- West-" Prussia ignored his brother, though he was grinning at his outburst. "but that is fine, it is perfectly natural. France, next poster."

France complied and Rena finally opened her eyes- her curiosity getting the better of her. She coughed and turned red, squirming when France grinned at her. She did a full body twitch before sucking in a large breath.

"SWEDEN!" Rena shouted, startling the others- Romano jumping so bad that he fell over. There was a beat of silence before they could hear Sweden thundering down the stairs, Prussia cursed and dragged France away who was hurridly rolling the posters.

"What?" Sweden demanded as he came in, armed with a hammer. He paused when he caught sight of them, seeming to be expecting something else.

"Can you untie us?" Rena asked.

I've never had The Talk before

lucky you..