"Papa...Mama...Emi-neesan...It hurts..."
A nurse who was watching over her holds her hand. "Akane-chan, she hasn't arrived yet but we called her already and she said that she'll come to see you. We also called your parents and they said that they'll come too. You need to be strong and wait patiently, okay? We'll do everything that we can to help you; have faith and be strong for us too."
Akane weakly nods at the nurse. Her small hand, pale and weak, holds the nurse's hand with whatever strength she could put on her small grip. The sound of nurses and doctors going in and outside her room echoes softly in the air. Her eyes stare into the distance as she endures the pain coursing thru her body.
Little Akane couldn't tell what the doctors and nurses were doing nor could she tell how many minutes have passed. She was in so much pain that her senses had numbed.
"It hurts…Emi-neesan…"
"Eika, is there something wrong?" Mana asks as she sees me put my phone down.
"M-M-Ma…na…" My hands are shaking and my chest is starting to hurt. "Mana…I…"
She takes my hand and pulls me away from the eyes of everyone else in the studio. "Emi, what's wrong?! You're shaking and you're starting to look terrible. What happened?! What was the call that you answered a while ago about?!"
I tightly grab hold of her arms. "It's Akane; she's one of the children from Kurushima Hospital. She's…she's unstable at the moment. I have to go to her!" My breathing becomes heavy in worry.
"Get in the car; I'll bring you to her. I'll tell the producer that you fell ill all of a sudden." She hands me her car keys. "Go. I'll follow."
I nod and immediately make my way to the car.
A-Akane-chan is unstable. How could this happen?! She was healthy the last time I visited her; all of them were healthy! H-How could she be in critical condition?!
I'm feeling better, Koemi. The doctors said that if I continue like this then I'll be able to get discharged and we can hang out somewhere out there! I'm so tired of this hospital so I'm glad that I can leave this place soon. I can't wait! I'll do my best to get better!
A scene from years ago…is repeating all over again—it's happening again.
"Emi, make sure that you're wearing your seatbelt. We'll be at Kurushima hospital in ten minutes; I promise you that."
"Okay…"
My weak reply concerns her but she doesn't pry.
Just like she promised, we reached the hospital in ten minutes due to her speedy driving. I dashed out of the car and went straight for Akane's room—Room 412. I take a minute to calm my nerves; I must not panic on front of her because that would make her worry.
Once I masked away my worry, I calmly open the door. The view that greets me is of a weak child in a bed with a nurse by her side—it's just like back then with Yasuko.
"Hello Akane-chan, I've arrived." I gently say to her as I sit beside the bed.
"Emi-neesan, you came. I'm happy to see you." She says with a sweet weak voice.
"What are you feeling right now?"
"I feel…pain." She smiles wryly.
"Nakahara-san, the doctors gave her medicines to help her stabilize a little. We cannot give her pain killers so she has to endure the effects of the medicine on her body." The nurse says.
"I see. Akane-chan, stay strong. I know you can do this! You are a strong little girl! I believe in you so believe in yourself too! If you were able to feel better before, you can do the same again. If you need me, call for me and I'll come to your side right away."
"Thank you, Emi-neesan. You're the best."
I pat her head with a smile but deep inside I feel a sharp pain in my heart as I see her suffering with her cancer.
"Akane-chan, do you want to hear a song?"
"Yes, I love listening to you singing Emi-neesan."
"Okay. I learned a song from a friend of mine at work; I think you'll like it."
I'm known for singing rock songs but not many know that I sing ballads pretty well. There are only two people who know that I sing ballads pretty well—Yasuko and Akane. Akane often tells me that she watches the shows that I appear in and that she watches my music videos on tv too so she's used to hearing me sing rock. When she asked me to sing for her in person, I thought that she'd enjoy something else besides rock and that was when she discovered that I can sing ballads well.
"Emi-neesan, your voice is wonderful as always. It always makes me lighter inside."
"If you want me to keep singing for you, I will. I'll even requests from you! I'll sing even if all you ask are nursery rhymes!"
She chuckles a little. "Please, sing for me. I want to hear more."
"Okay. I'll sing until you get tired of me."
"That can never happen, Emi-neesan. I love you too much to get tired of you."
"Awww! I love you lots and lots too, Akane-chan!"
I ask the nurse to leave the room until I get out. She nods and quietly leaves me with Akane-chan.
"What will you sing for me, Emi-neesan?"
"I've got a lot of songs in my head; I'll never run out for you."
I kept my word. I stayed in her room and sang for hours and hours until she fell asleep to the ballads that I sang to her.
"Sweet dreams, Akane. Get well soon." I kiss her forehead before leaving her room.
The nurse that was waiting outside the room approaches me. "Thank you for coming, Nakahara-san." She bows deeply.
"There's no need to thank me. I should be thanking all of you here for doing your best to keep her alive. Thank you very much for your hard work."
"Akane-chan's parents are on the way here now. They couldn't get permission to leave work all of a sudden that's why they're not here yet."
"I see. Her parents are both working hard to sustain the medical bills for their one and only child. I should know because I give financial assistance to all of the kids admitted here because of cancer."
"You are a very kind person, Nakahara-san. I commend you for your actions."
"Thank you but I do not need praise. I am merely helping those who are in need. I know how hard it is to not have enough money for medical bills and the sorrow of losing someone you treasure; I don't want it to happen to such young children who have a future to live for. I can't…I can't leave them alone."
"Nakahara-san." The nurse holds my hands tightly for a moment.
"Are the other children alright?"
She nods. "The other children are well and their treatments have been working for them. It was only Akane who got worse all of a sudden."
"Do the other children know about Akane's condition?"
"Yes, they all wanted to see her but we could not let them do so. They are all currently in their respective rooms."
"I see. I still have work tomorrow so I have to leave now. Please continue watching over her for me and send my regards to her parents when they arrive."
"I will."
"Thank you."
"Emi!"
I look towards the voice and see Ranmaru running.
"How's Akane?!"
"She's sleeping now. I came here earlier and she was already stabilized so we don't have to worry too much now."
"Thank god. My phone was on silent because of work; I got surprised when I read your message."
"I got surprised too when I got a call from the hospital. Mana told the producer that I felt sick all of a sudden so that I could come…over…right aw—"
"Nakahara-san!" The nurse supports me as I lose my balance. "Are you okay?!"
"I'm okay. My head hurts a little but I'm pretty sure I'm okay."
"Nakahara-san, your lips are dry and you seem to be sluggish. Perhaps you are exhausted?" the nurse says.
"Have you been working more than usual?" Ranmaru asks right after.
"I'm fine. I'm not the one we should be worrying about. I probably just got tired from worrying about Akane and from singing for her nonstop."
Ranmaru takes my hand. "You should go home. I saw Rukawa in the lobby; I'll bring you to her."
I take my hand back from him. "I'm fine. I can walk on my own."
I start to walk forward. One hospital room's door opens suddenly and hits me right in the face; I reacted too slowly so I didn't dodge it.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! That hurts…a lot."
"Now that was definitely painful. Let me take a look at ya."
Ranmaru gently takes my face and stares at it.
"Good news is that you don't have a single bruise or scratch and there's no swelling either; you're okay."
"That's good. That's definitely good."
"You." He takes my hand and takes me with him. "Take care of yourself before you take care of others."
"You're not. If you're really okay then you would have been able to dodge that door."
"I'm just distracted!"
He takes out his phone and opens an article. "Then read this."
Fudge. I can't read this; not a single word. My vision is too shaky and blurry that I can't make out the characters.
"See? You can't even read the article about your previous single release."
"I-I can! It just says that it was good and that their favorite track was the third one." I've read reviews about my last single so I'm pretty sure I can just pretend I read this.
"I knew it; you couldn't read it. I lied. That article isn't about your previous single release; it's about Kobe beef."
"No fair! You tricked me!"
We reach the lobby and I can see someone who looks like Mana sitting on one of the waiting benches. I think that's really Mana.
"Rukawa, you should take her home. She's tired to the point she let a door hit her right in the face."
"You didn't have to mention that!" I let go of his hand go over to Mana. "Akane is okay now and is sleeping. I kept her company for some time."
"Emi."
"Yes, Mana?"
"Can you take my pen from my hand?"
"What for?"
"Just do it."
I look at the pen in Mana's hand and reach out for it. To my surprise, when I tried to grab it, I didn't get it.
"It's seems that Kurosaki is right about your vision. You reached out beside the pen; you're having double vision aren't you?"
I don't answer her question and instead gulp for a moment.
"We're going straight home. Once we get home, rest and nothing else. Don't you even dare practice. Just rest. I'll cancel your work for tomorrow so that you can properly have some rest."
"But—"
"Don't argue with me. You will rest. I'll get the car and bring it up front. Kurosaki, watch over her while I get the car; don't let her walk around or else she might bump into things or people."
"Roger that, Rukawa."
Mana leaves and makes me sit on the spot she was sitting at.
"Sigh. You two are always forcing me to rest."
"Because you don't when it's needed. I work more than you do but I always find some time to rest."
"Hmph."
"You know, I think you would have become a doctor or a nurse if you didn't become an idol."
"What made you say that?"
"You've got the qualities to become one and you really care about sick people even though you neglect your own health."
"'Dr. Nakahara' has a good ring to it." She chuckles.
"You would have been an overworked doctor."
"If you didn't become an idol, I don't know what you would be."
"I'd probably be dead somewhere or alive but in deep debt; probably a yakuza slave or somethin' like that."
"True but I meant what occupation you would have if you weren't an idol."
"Probably a businessman like my father."
"You'd look like a yakuza boss in a suit. You'd just scare all of your investors or intimidate them to sign with you."
"You're such an annoying kid."
"I'll always be."
She stops talking all of a sudden. When I look at her, she seems like she's looking somewhere far away and she really does look tired. A lot is going thru her mind; I can tell.
"Ranmaru, I'm going to tell you something but promise me that you won't tell anyone else." Her voice cracked a little.
"I'm listening."
"Akane…she's dying. She's going to die."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on for a sec. I thought you said that she's stable now?!"
"For now she is but it won't last. One of the nurses told me about the truth of her condition when I arrived here in the hospital. Akane's cancer…her cancer has spread all of a sudden and based on the doctors' findings, she is going to die because it's everywhere. She'll die sooner that we all thought."
Her voice cracked again. Usually one would cry in this situation but she refused to cry; her eyes were tearful but she held it all in.
"Her cancer had turned for the worse. It's hard to believe that she was well and healthy just recently. Why does this have to happen to her? Why is it happening to such a good young child? She's going to die, Ranmaru. She's going to die…"
I don't know what to say. Everything she said is hard to swallow. I think I understand now why she feels exhausted; she's suffering because she's scared of Akane dying on her. It's probably the same fear she had when her best friend, Yasuko, was dying.
"The treatments that she's going to undergo isn't going to save her; it's just going to keep her alive a little longer until she can't handle it anymore. Akane…I don't want to…lose her too."
"Emi, calm down. You're crying."
I wipe the tears falling from her sorrowful eyes. The tears were warm to touch and no matter how much I wiped away, more came streaming down. Even when her sadness has overflowed, she cries without wailing or shouting; she just cries silently.
"Stop crying. Please. Your eyes will become swollen and your head will hurt." I continue to wipe her tears away. "Emi, please stop crying." Just a little more of this and I will really be pushed to beg her to stop.
Rukawa returns to the lobby and sees Emi crying right beside me.
"What's this?! Did something happen to her? Did she hurt herself? Did someone hurt her?"
Emi shakes her head and looks at Rukawa sadly.
"Emi…" Rukawa sits down beside her and hugs her warmly. "Hush now, we'll talk when we get back if you want to. Akane will be okay; have faith in her and in the doctors who are helping her with all their strength. Shhh, calm down now. It'll be okay."
Rukawa rubs her back gently as Emi continues to cry quietly in her arms. Minutes pass before they stand and board their car.
Even then, Emi didn't stop crying yet.
"Kurosaki, do you want to ride home with us?"
"You two go on ahead. I have work tonight. Be safe, you two."
Rukawa guides Emi as they walk; she looks so feeble that it hurts.
It really hurts to see someone who's usually the strong and happy looking person to be like that. It makes me want to comfort her until she stops; it worries me what could her pain do to her or make her do. Her sadness could eat her away and that scares me.
*knock knock knock*
The door opens and the first person that I see is Rukawa.
"Kurosaki? Good morning. What brings you here?"
Her hair is a mess and she looks like she hasn't slept yet.
"I was...I got worried about Emi so I thought of dropping by to see how's she doing before I head out. Has she stopped crying?"
Rukawa yawn and then fixes her glasses. "Thankfully she stopped crying this morning at 4:00am."
"4:00am?!"
"Yes, I've been awake since we got home yesterday because she wouldn't stop crying. Even Nao couldn't be at ease until Emi stopped crying."
"Can I come in?"
"Go ahead."
Rukawa seems exhausted. Was it that bad?
"Emi is currently sleeping in my room. She fell asleep right after she stopped crying. Nao is sleeping with her that's why it's so empty here in the living room."
She opens her room's door.
"I don't think she'll be waking up soon. I cancelled her jobs for the day with the claim that she's sick. I also told the agency that I"ll be working here from home so that I can keep an eye on her too."
"Did she tell you?"
"About Akane? Yes, Emi told me about it...and how she felt that history is repeating itself on her." She yawns again. "I'll be back. I'll just make some coffee. Would you like a cup too?"
"Sure."
"Okay."
Emi...her eyes are swollen like I thought and she seems pale.
I sit down beside her and pat her head gently. Nao is in her arms like a stuffed toy; he's keeping her company.
"Kid, don't cry like that again. Crying doesn't suit you; just stick to smiling as you usually do. I don't like it when I see you hurt. If you need help or anything, ask Rukawa or me; we'll be here for you. Sometimes it's good to share whatever you're feeling inside. You ain't alone and never will be."