Pliant
Twenty One
For the past week, Natalia has just been trying to stay out of Ryan's way as he helped his mother make arrangements for his father's funeral by phone and email. More than that, he has been incredibly stoic about it, almost numb, and she doesn't know what to say to him or what to do other than offer her love and comfort when he needs it, which she knows he will. Right now, he is just trying to take care of business, be there for his mother and sister. Still, through all of that, he is worried about her, trying to protect her feelings, protect her from the situation; he doesn't think she's aware of that, but she knows him well enough by now to recognize his protective reach. Even though he is silent about his father's death, he still treats her with the deepest love. He hasn't turned on her emotionally, and that is a good thing.
She's been staying with him at his apartment for the week, and she sees now as a good opportunity to talk because they are making dinner together. Natalia takes the bell peppers out of the refrigerator and sets them onto the cutting board and begins to cut them. Ryan is seasoning the chicken, and he goes around behind Natalia and he opens up the cabinet to retrieve the garlic powder. He kisses her cheek and she grins a bit. She turns and kisses him fully on the lips before she looks into his eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asks.
"Yeah," he says as he gives the chicken a quick sprinkle of garlic powder on both sides before picking the pieces up with the tongs and placing them into the pan.
She gently nibbles her bottom lip. "You've been so quiet...I mean...do you wanna talk about it?"
He sighs and looks at her.
"'Lia...I-I don't want to put any of this on you," he says softly. "I don't want you to worry."
She tilts her head to the side.
"Ry, I know what you're trying to do, sweetie," she says as she steps closer to him. "I-I'm fine now. I'm okay because you saw me through my pain, my guilt...everything. You saw me through it. Let me see you through this."
He hugs her and she kisses his cheek.
"I love you," she whispers.
"I love you too," he says, smoothing over her hair.
"We're gonna get through this together," she assures.
He pulls away and kisses her before they go back to making dinner.
O-o-O
The flight up to Boston had been nice, and Natalia felt a twinge of excitement at the prospect of seeing a new place, despite the sad circumstances. They had a late flight, and they had burgers in one of the airport restaurants before their plane was set to board, and once they were in the air, they both dozed off. When the pilot announced that they would be landing in Boston soon, they both woke up and Natalia looked out the window at the city.
The plane lands, and is taxied into the terminal and Ryan gets up and opens up the overhead compartment to retrieve their bags.
Once he has their bags, he helps her up, giving her the bag she packed and then they walk off the plane together. Once they are in the hallway leading to the terminal, they link hands and walk out together. They go downstairs into the baggage claim and it is there that they see Joy and Ever. They wave as they approach his family.
"Hey," Ryan says, hugging first his mother and then his sister.
Joy then hugs Natalia. "Good to see you again."
"Same here," Natalia says with a smile.
Ever is smiling and she pushes her hair behind her ears.
"Ever, this is my girlfriend Natalia," Ryan introduces. "Natalia, this is my little sister Ever."
"It's nice meeting you," Ever says happily. "Mom has told me so much about you."
"It's nice to meet you too, finally," Natalia smiles. "Ryan talks about you all the time."
"I hope in a good way," Ever smiles.
"Of course," Natalia assures.
Ever has hazel eyes, is the same height as her mother, and she has long wavy hair, just like her mother. Ever more closely resembles Ryan; they have the same eyes, nose, and facial structure.
"Well, I'm so glad to finally get to see you in person," Ever says. "I just wish the circumstances were different..."
"I know," Natalia says. "I'm so sorry."
"Thanks," Ever says with a grateful nod, then she smiles. "But I'm so glad to finally meet you, and thank you for showing your support to my brother."
Natalia gently squeezes Ryan's hand, looking at him. "I'm returning the favor."
He kisses her softly.
O-o-O
Ever's apartment is in an older neighborhood, and if Natalia could choose one word to describe it, she would say it was quaint. It isn't gritty, like some parts of the area, but it is still weathered and aged. It is in a multifamily home, and she lives on the top level with the deck.
"Tabby, we're here!" Ever announces as she walks into the apartment with Joy, Ryan, and Natalia in tow. "She's going to be so excited to see you!"
Ryan takes Natalia's hand and kisses her. The apartment is nice, with hardwood floors, a great view, and pretty good space. Ever has decorated it just right, and of course, everything is pristine, and Natalia is not surprised because of their upbringing.
Tabitha, Ever's sixteen year old daughter, comes out of the kitchen and she smiles. "Uncle Ryan!"
"Hey Tabby," Ryan says as he hugs his niece and kisses her forehead. "How are you?"
"Good," Tabitha says as she pulls away and pushes her long, blonde hair behind her ears and she looks at Natalia.
"This is Natalia," Ryan introduces. "Natalia, this is Tabitha, my spunky, smart, steak eating niece."
"That's me in a nutshell," Tabitha nods as she shakes Natalia's hand. "Nice to meet you. Now you're not some anonymous chick that my mom and NuNu have been talking about."
Natalia can't help but chuckle. "Well I'm so glad to know that I have an identity in your book."
"Did I mention she's snarky?" Ever says as she smoothes over her daughter's hair. "Did you set the table?"
"Yep," Tabitha says. "Hey, Uncle Ryan, you wanna see my room? I decorated it myself."
"Why do I have this sudden sense of fear?"
"Because it probably will frighten you," Ever grins. "It certainly frightened me."
The women go into the kitchen as Ryan follows Tabby down the hallway to her room.
"I have a feeling that she gets her sarcasm from Ryan," Natalia chuckles as she moves in to help Ever and Joy.
"Yeah, it's a family trait," Ever chuckles. "But, let me tell you, compared to most teenaged girls I've seen and the ones Tabby hangs out with, she's an angel."
"That's 'cause she knows NuNu's gonna slap her one the moment she gets outta line," Joy chimes in. "You want to put this on the table, or..."
"Um, we can just leave the food on the counter and just do it buffet style," Ever says. "Natalia, would you like something to drink?"
"Sure," Natalia says, going over to the fridge and looking at the pictures on it.
She smiles when she sees a picture of Joy, Ryan, and Ever when they were younger.
He looks adorable, she thinks to herself.
She then looks at pictures of Ever from when she was younger, and pictures of Tabitha. It is obvious that Ever had Tabitha as a teenager because she is four years younger than Ryan, and Tabitha is sixteen. Natalia wants to be surprised, but she isn't because she knows that both Ever and Ryan had a chaotic upbringing, and when there isn't a consistent male figure in a young girl's life, it has an impact on self esteem and self worth. Natalia is so glad that her father has been so loving and supportive, even during the moments when she has made her worst mistakes. He has proven that over the years and just recently when she told him about her miscarriage. She can always trust her father, and he will always love her.
"You want water, tea, or a soda?" Ever asks.
"Um, actually, a soda sounds good," Natalia says.
Ever opens up the fridge and everything is neatly stacked and perfectly lined up. She takes out a Coke and hands it to Natalia.
"So Ever, how have you been since your dad died?"
Ever visibly tenses as she stirs the macaroni. Ryan has given her that same reaction over the last week every time she brings up the subject.
"I've been okay," Ever shrugs. "I mean...God bless Ryan for sticking it out with him...I just...it's hard for me to talk about him."
"I'm sorry," Natalia says sincerely. "I-I just...Ryan hasn't really talked about his father, not even when he came back to Miami..."
Ever nods, turning to cross her arms over her chest. "Ry has been trying to protect you."
Natalia nods.
"He does the same thing with me and Ma," Ever says.
"Before you came along, Ryan barely talked about his father at all," Joy adds. "He barely talks about his childhood..."
Joy's eyes glisten with tears. "He's been trying to block out his childhood, and..." The tears come. "I don't want him to. It's my fault...I shouldn't have put you kids through that."
"Ma," Ever says softly as she hugs her mother. "It's okay...
Joy quickly composes herself, nodding.
"I haven't known you very long, obviously," Ever smiles softly. "But um...as Ryan's sister, I'm so, so glad that you're in his life; God, I can tell how much he loves you just by the way he looks at you and I haven't seen my big brother so settled and complete. Thank you, Natalia."
Natalia feels a tear escape and she wipes it away, smiling. "Thank you, Ever."
Ever hugs her.
"Later on, we'll have girl talk, okay?"
"Okay," Natalia smiles as she pulls away.
Meanwhile, Ryan listens as Tabby explains the method to the madness that is her newly decorated room.
"I was going for like a Rubic's cube/Andy Worhal vibe," Tabby explains, and Ryan nods.
"It's...interesting," he says as he sits on her bed next to her. "But as long as you like it and are proud of it."
"That I am," Tabitha grins, pleased with herself.
Ryan loves his niece so much because she takes after Ever. He is so glad to see her, it's been far too long since he last saw her, and she has grown up so much since then. Ever has done a good job as a single mother, and he thinks that is because she takes after their mother, who dedicated herself to giving the best life possible to her children.
"So...are you gonna do the whole thing with Natalia?" Tabitha asks. "Like, marry her and have kids and stuff?"
Ryan chuckles. "If she'll have me, yes. What do you think?"
Tabby nods her approval. "I like her. She seems like a real girly-girl, though...she's Miami-ish with the tanned skin and the big boobs..."
"Tabby!"
"What? I'm just sayin'...all I see up here is winter wrinkles, dowdy clothes, and chapped lips. Can you really blame me for noticing the va-va voom in the middle of podunk Boston?"
Ryan laughs. "You are too much, you know that?"
"Good and well," Tabitha says proudly then she turns serious. "So uh...I'm going to a funeral for a grandfather I've never met."
His heart clenches and now he wishes that Tabitha would actually put a filter on that brain-mouth personality of hers.
"I know Tabby," he sighs.
"How come I never met him?" Tabitha asks. "I mean, mom barely talks about him, and whenever she does, she gets the same look on her face that you have right now."
Ryan gently pulls Tabitha into a hug and kisses her forehead. "All I can tell you is that when your mom's ready, she'll tell you about Grandpa Norman. If you don't trust her about anything else, trust her about this, okay?"
Tabitha nods. "Okay."
"So, you up for hanging out with Natalia tomorrow?"
"Sure," Tabitha shrugs. "As long as she doesn't do that whole condescending 'Hey, what's up girlfriend?' BFFL crap like Zoe did. Ugh."
"Natalia won't do that to you, I promise."
"Good, 'cause we're doing street hockey and burgers, so she better hold her own, or else, you can't marry her. She's not good enough for you anymore."
Ryan laughs. "Yeah, as if not being able to handle street hockey and burgers with a sixteen year old is a deal breaker."
"Hey, I am the master, I know the way...you have to listen and do as I say."
"Keep telling yourself that, kid."
O-o-O
Dinner was nice, and it was spent mostly talking about the funeral, then Ryan and Ever got the chance to tease each other about when they were growing up together. Natalia loves his sister, and she is so relieved that Ever approves of her as well.
She also loves Tabitha, who is funny and witty, much like the rest of her family.
Later on, after dinner, Ever and Natalia retreat outside to the deck and sit down at the table.
"So," Ever says excitedly. "Tell me everything...how'd you and my brother meet, get together...all that."
Natalia smiles nervously. "Uhm...yeah, well, we met at work. I was actually dating another man at the time, but that wasn't going well, and Ryan asked me out on a date and I went, just to make the guy I was dating jealous."
"Wow," Ever chuckles.
"Yeah," Natalia sighs. "Ryan took me out to dinner, then we went to watch Mexican wrestling."
Ever laughed. "That's hilarious!"
"Yeah, it was, actually. But we didn't go out again after that. Then, last year, we talked, and there was still a mutual attraction and we decided to date again. We got engaged on Christmas morning, and everything was going great until..."
"Zoe?"
"Yeah. We fell apart...I mean, completely fell apart. We both had some things to deal with. Actually, I had to work some things out...and Ryan helped me ever step of the way. We worked through all the hurt and pain together, and now we're strong again."
Ever nods, feeling happy for her brother that he's found the right woman, a woman that makes him happy and gives him what he needs. Still, she can see some hidden concerns in Natalia's eyes.
"How's he been since dad died?"
Natalia pushes her hair behind her ears and sighs. "Like I said earlier, Ryan hasn't talked much about his father...about when he stayed with him, and he hasn't said much since his death. I-I'm just worried that he'll close up on me, and...I know that he's trying to protect me, but I-I can't handle him not talking to me about any of this. I just really can't. He's been there for me, he has been so good to me with helping me deal with my issues, and now...I feel like he won't let me help him, especially after he supported me. It hurts."
Ever nods, looking inside at Ryan and Tabitha playing a video game, and she smiles.
"You know, all his life he's been surrounded by girls. Ma and me, then Tabby, and now you. He had to man up early...he didn't really have a childhood. I think that for a long time, it was always easier to put all his care into me and Ma than for him to take some time and deal with it. When the situation with Zoe happened, he was so heartbroken and angry at himself. But he still refused to open up about dad. It's almost like he didn't want to acknowledge that some of dad did rub off on me and him in one way or another."
"How so for you?"
Ever tugs on the sleeves of her blouse.
"My dad abused me physically and emotionally," Ever explains, looking down as she tries to hold back tears. "And when my mom finally left him, at first I was happy...but then I was angry because despite the abuse, at least was there, you know? I was so confused because I hated what he did to our family, but, I also just wanted him around."
Ever pauses and looks into the house again, looking at Tabitha.
"Ryan externalized, I internalized. Ryan gambled with his money, I gambled with my body..."
Natalia could see the pain in Ever's eyes as she thinks about her past.
"I was a cutter," Ever admits. "Hurt myself real bad a few times...but it was the only thing that made me feel like I had some power and control over my own body, what happens to it."
"I'm so sorry," Natalia says quietly and Ever grins a bit.
"I'm not," Ever explains. "Tabby saved my life...when I was fifteen, I found out I was pregnant with her. I was so scared, and I was at the point of not wanting to live at all...I finally had to admit that there was a tiny bit of my father in me, but I realized that I couldn't give him the satisfaction of fucking up my own life and Tabby's because I'm pissed at him. I straightened up, and Ryan stepped right in and helped me, protected me."
"Is that why it's so hard for Ryan to talk about his dad?"
"Yeah. But I can tell you that he's not doing it to hurt you. It's just that his protective instincts have kicked in with you."
"He's a wonderful protector," Natalia says. "But...I want to protect him too. When it comes to his father, Ryan just puts up this wall. I mean, beside telling me about his father abusing him, he hasn't actually told me about how he feels, what he was feeling. I-I don't know how to be there for him, how to love him through this. I don't know how parental abuse feels, my father was amazing to me and my sisters. I know what spousal abuse feels like, my ex husband abused me, and that was the most painful, horrible part of my life. I-I can't imagine your own parent hurting you."
Ever nods.
"I love Ryan so much," Natalia says tearfully. "I just want to be there for him. I need him to talk to me because him not even talking to me about the funeral arrangements, or the will, or anything has really put me in a bad place emotionally. God, Ever...I'm so scared right now."
Ever leans in and hugs Natalia.
"It'll be okay."
The women pull away then Ever smiles a bit.
"Well, even though you're not officially my sister-in-law yet...you're family, and I'll be there for you. Don't be afraid to call me, Natalia, and I mean that. I swear, if my brother doesn't do right by you at any point, I'll get on a plane to Miami and give him a swift kick in the ass Boston-style."
Natalia laughs heartily. "Aren't you the baby?"
"Yeah, but there's no law that says little sisters can't whip big brothers into shape."
"I think he'll save you the trouble," Natalia smiles.
Ever grins. "C'mon, let's go back inside."
The women get up and go back inside.
O-o-O
After spending another hour with his family, Ryan and Natalia headed to the hotel.
"Your sister is so nice," she says as she changes into her night clothes. "And Tabby's funny."
"Yeah, she's a handful," Ryan smiles as he hangs up their clothes for the funeral. "She's looking forward to spending time with you tomorrow."
Natalia sits down on the bed, pushing her hair behind her ears. "That sounds great, but...I was hoping I could come with you too..."
"'Lia..."
"Ryan, I know that you think you're protecting me by not talking to me," she begins. "But...it's hurting me. I feel like you're hiding from me again, and after everything we've worked through, I don't think I can take that. Not again."
"I'm not trying to hurt you," he says, coming over to sit beside her. "I promise you I'm not trying to hurt you, honey."
She sits closer to him. "Then why are you shutting me out? Why now when we need each other the most?"
Ryan had no idea that she felt hurt, and he feels terrible about making her feel that way.
"I don't want to shut you out," he says, gently pulling her into an embrace. "I'm not trying to, I just...I don't know. I need time to work things out, okay?"
She hugs him tighter. "Okay. I love you, sweetie."
"I love you too," he says.
Once he changes into his night clothes, he gets into bed next to her and she kisses him softly as she rests her head onto his chest. She is confident that when he's ready to talk to her about this moment in his life, he will...they've come too far together to not keep the lines of communication they've built open. Even though she is confident, that doesn't mean that she is not scared right now; emotionally, she feels isolated, and that's mostly because this concerns Ryan's family, and though his mother and Ever have welcomed her, she knows that she can't be privy to all the family business, or things concerning their father.
Still, Natalia has yet to know what Ryan was feeling, if he found closure with his father, what was said between the two...he has barely talked about his time with his father at all, and that is worrying her deeply because she wants to help him deal with that. He has been helping her with dealing with the emotional struggles she's had, and now she feels that it is her turn to step up and be there.
But she will not push him, though.
She snuggles into him and he holds her tighter.
Ryan smoothes over Natalia's hair and he closes his eyes, trying to get some sleep.
He doesn't know what to make of all this. His father is dead, and he feels no closer to the closure he wants. His father's cruel, cold answer to his questions about his parenting and the type of husband he was hurt him more deeply than he should have allowed; he half expected it, actually, but the optimistic side of him hoped that terminal illness and years of loneliness have made his father rethink things and try and make things right. Of course he was met with disappointment, and he didn't get the answers he needed or wanted.
Now that Norman Wolfe is dead, Ryan feels rather lost. He is confused because he feels numb right now. Numbness is keeping him focused on taking care of the business end of the arrangements because any other emotions that he might feel would hinder his concentration and keep him from really being there for his mother and sister.
He knows that Natalia feels a bit left out, and he honestly had no intention of doing that...the last thing he wants to do is push them backward instead of pressing them forward; they've come too far for that, and he doesn't want to push her away. He does need her, he's just not sure in what way yet. Natalia doesn't know anything about his father except what he's told her, and she's never met him, and yet, she's here, so willing to be a support to him. He loves her even more for being here with him.
He kisses her forehead and then finally lets sleep take him.
O-o-O
Calleigh feels so uncomfortable, and she frowns as she waddles slightly into the kitchen in search of something to eat. Up until this point of her pregnancy, she was feeling fine...after the nausea and weepiness faded away, she felt absolutely great, she was able to exercise again, eat whatever she wanted, and she had interesting, yet amazing, passionate sex with Eric, which was a major boost to her ego (his ego more than hers, she admits) and her mood.
But since the shower, she's been in decline and now, she's pissed off mostly, ready for her pregnancy to be OVER.
Eric is already in the kitchen, eating a sandwich while reading the paper, and he looks up and he grins at her.
"Hey carina. You want me to fix you something?"
"No," she says flatly, rubbing over her itchy belly.
Her back hurts, she is exhausted, her ankles are swollen, and she's had heartburn a lot more lately.
She groans when Eric wraps his arms around her expanded waist, rubbing her belly, feeling the baby roll over languidly inside her womb.
"What's the matter?" He asks.
"I'm the freakin' tenth planet in our solar system," she complains. "I have my own orbit."
He laughs, and she turns and glares at him.
"Querida...don't look at me like that. You're not that big, actually."
"Says you," she frowns. "You're not the one who's pregnant. You don't have to worry about your ankles getting swollen, or-or your nipples getting so hard and gross that they get numb and feel like they're going to fall off!"
He rubs a hand over his face. "You know, I could've gone my whole entire life without that image in my head, babe."
Calleigh rolls her eyes. "I'm just so ready to have this baby..."
"I know," he grins as he kisses her softly.
She looks at him remorsefully. "I'm sorry about the nipples description..."
He laughs and gently caresses over her lower back.
"You're beautiful, Calleigh," he assures. "I think you look so amazing and gorgeous carrying our child. I love that my baby is inside you, I love seeing you filled out a bit because trust me, Cal..."
He pauses and caresses his hands down to her behind.
"It's in all the right places babe," he whispers huskily into her ear.
She purrs when he brings her a bit closer and kisses just under her ear.
"How do you do that?"
"What?" He asks.
"Seduce me, even when I'm feeling like a beached whale?"
"Um, maybe because for one, you're my sexy, lovely wife, and two, you're not a beached whale, nor a planet with it's own orbit. You're pregnant with our baby and that makes you the most incredible woman in the world."
She smiles.
The phone rings and and he groans. "Great timing, whoever it is. Excellent."
Calleigh goes over and picks up the phone, looking at the caller ID. "It's Natalia."
She answers. "Hey Nat."
"Hey Calleigh," Natalia says with a sigh.
"How's it going up there with Ryan's family?"
"It's fine," Natalia says. "They're out taking care of some last minute stuff...I'm with Ryan's niece and-AHHH!"
Calleigh furrows her eyebrows. "Natalia?"
"I thought you were in time out? Tabby...and tell your friends that 'Your Uncle's Chick' has a name...thank you honey...okay, where was I?"
"Ryan's niece."
"Right. She's a handful. I was in to makeup, the color pink, and baby-doll dresses. She's in skinny jeans, a tee shirt, and playing street hockey. She's vicious, by the way."
Calleigh laughs. "Well I guess I should let you go before you get hit."
"No, I can talk," Natalia sighs.
"What's going on? How's Ryan?" Calleigh asks as she opens up the fridge and takes out the pickles.
"He's okay...I mean, I think he's having a really hard time with this," Natalia divulges. "His sister too...they're both kind of numb, I think. Joy is kind of holding things together right now."
"Well, Eric and I give Ryan our condolences," Calleigh says. "Is there anything we can do when you guys get back?"
"Just...be there. Like you always are."
"We will."
"So, how are you doing?"
"I'm uncomfortable," Calleigh frowns. "I'm ready to pop this kid out already, but I have a feeling, from the way Eric is eyeing me up, if he had it his way I'd be pregnant forever. We'd never see our little one."
Natalia laughs. "Well, make sure to get plenty of rest. She's almost here..."
"I know."
"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."
"Alrighty," Calleigh says. "Love you Nat, and give our love to Ryan too."
"I will. Love you too. Bye."
"Bye."
O-o-O
Natalia walks out of the bathroom, putting on her earring, and she sees Ryan fixing his tie in the mirror. She finishes fastening her earrings then she slips into her heels, smoothing over her skirt. She is in a black skirt with a white silk blouse and she has a black jacket to go over it. She has curled her hair and she put on a plain black headband. She fastens her watch and puts on her necklace before checking to see if she has everything in her purse.
Ryan finishes fixing his tie and he grabs his jacket and pulls it on. He's been quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Natalia is giving him space, not smothering him, letting him work through the grief she knows he's feeling. He hasn't pushed her away though, not physically or otherwise, because he is concerned about how she is feeling, and he touches her softly, kisses her often.
He comes over to her and puts his hand on her lower back.
"You look beautiful," he says.
"Thank you," she smiles softly. "You look handsome. You ready?"
He nods.
It is raining outside, and he grabs the umbrella he went to the store earlier this morning and bought. They go downstairs and outside, and they see Ever's car in the car port. Ryan hugs her then Natalia. Joy is in the front seat, Harry, who came in last night, and Tabitha are in the second row of the SUV. Ryan opens the door for Natalia and she slips in to the back row, along with Ryan.
His father didn't have many close friends; Ryan called ever last number his father had listed in his phone book. Most of the numbers were no longer in service, and he only talked to about four people who agreed to come to the funeral. Other than that, it is just his immediate family.
One of his father's gambling buddies agreed to give a short eulogy, though Ryan can't imagine what he'd say; his mother is going to say a few words too, and he and Ever are curious as to what she will say as well.
The drive to the gravesite is spent in silence, and Natalia links her fingers with Ryan's and he kisses her cheek.
"You okay?" He whispers.
"Yeah," she says.
Natalia can see how hard this is on Ryan and Ever; the siblings both witnessed each other being abused, saw each other through the mistakes and joys of each other's respective lives, those lives defined by the pain of a childhood they barely had, and it is sad for Natalia to see them both trying to figure out if grief was the answer, and she can't imagine what Joy must be feeling right now, as a mother.
They all get out of the car, and Ryan holds the umbrella as Natalia hooks her arm in his.
The minister is already poised under the canopy. Some of his father's friends are already there, and she sees that they are worn with age and ill health. She imagines that Norman must have been frail too.
They make it under the canopy, and Ryan closes the umbrella.
The service begins.
Michael Lorenson, a friend of Norman got up to speak after the prayer was given by the minister.
"Norm and I kinda had a love/hate relationship," Michael begins with a slight smile. "He uh...he was the impulsive one, and I was the rational one. Night 'n day we were, and sometimes, I felt like strangling him he could be so quick to make the worst decisions...."
He pauses to look at the family.
"I knew he had a family. A wife, two kids...and I knew what he did to you. It made me sick, but...Norm was still my friend, and the guy I knew, I wish that you knew that guy. He talked tough, but inside, he wanted a normal life, he wished so much that he could be a good father, a good husband..."
Natalia looked to Ryan when he began to squeeze her hand, and she sees his jaw clenching and she rubs his arm with her other hand, kissing his cheek.
Don't get angry, not now, she thought to herself as she kissed him, and he seemed receptive, as he loosened his grip on her hand and released the tension in his jaw.
"Norm died without giving us a reason for any of the things he did," Michael says. "He lived his life the way he wanted to, and I have no doubt that he died a miserable, lonely old man. I say all that to say, especially to the family, the kids...things...things happen for a reason, people are put on this earth for a reason. Norman may not have been a good husband, or a good father, but...the way I see it, he was here solely to bring Ryan and Ever into this world. You got good kids, Joy, and...deep down, I believe that despite the life he led, I believe that Norm was glad his kids made something of themselves."
Ever sniffles and looks down at her hands.
"It's not easy to uh, forgive," Michael continues. "But...I think forgiveness is in order, so life, and purpose can be fulfilled. Thank you."
Michael sits down and Joy gets up.
"First of all, I just wanna say to my husband Harry, that I love you, dear. I'm glad you're here with me. Uhm...this is...this is very hard for me. Norm and I were husband and wife. We had two beautiful children together, and...I'm not gonna pretend to know what other kind of life Norm led, but I hope that he got what he wanted out of it. But I got what I wanted out of my life with him; Ryan and Ever. My wonderful kids, my babies who've made me so, so proud. You two were my angels in disguise. You lit up my life, and you two made the fight we had to fight, worth it. So yeah, Norm's your father, and be grateful for that much because I get to be your mother. Your mom."
Ever and Ryan both grin at their mother.
Just like that, the service is over, and they all stand up.
Slowly, the casket is lowered into the pit, and they all throw dirt into the grave as the minister read off scriptures.
Natalia gently caresses the back of Ryan's neck before she laces their fingers together again.
"I love you," she whispers.
He stares into the grave, still stoic, then they turn to leave.
O-o-O
Natalia comes into the kitchen with the plates from the early dinner they shared, and she sees Ever leaned up against the counter, arms crossed over her chest. Natalia puts the plates into the sink, and she looks over at the other woman.
"You okay?" Natalia asks.
Ever sighs. "Yeah. You don't have to wash those."
"No, I-I'll so them," Natalia insists. "You're exhausted."
"Natalia, I'll do them," Ever says a little more harshly than she intended, and she immediately regrets her tone. "I'm sorry..."
"It's okay."
Ryan comes into the kitchen, and he senses the tension between his sister and his girlfriend.
"You two okay?"
"Yeah," Natalia says. "I'm gonna go check up on Tabby, if you don't mind, Ever."
"No, that'd be great, thanks," Ever says.
With that, Natalia leaves the kitchen and goes down the hallway to Tabitha's room.
Ryan looks at his sister.
"It's okay to grieve him," Ryan says.
Ever shakes her head. "As if you're grieving him."
He sighs. "I am a little, I guess. Ev, if that's what you're feeling, don't dismiss it. It's a process."
She turns from him and she begins to put away the food.
"Ev-"
"What did he say?" She asks.
"What?"
She turns back round to face him again.
"When you stayed with him," she explains. "Did you two talk? Did you ask him questions? What did he say?"
Ryan looks down at his feet.
"Ever...I did ask questions, but...the answer he gave isn't worth repeating. Especially not now."
She pushes her hair behind her ears. "I just don't know what to make of all this...I mean, Tabby didn't even know him, and half the time, I never know what to say when she asks about him. Am I...am I a bad mother for not once taking her to see her grandfather?"
"No," he says, gently pulling her into a hug. "No, Ever. You're not a bad mother. Tabby loves you, Ev. Tabby's a smart girl, and she trusts you, she loves you. I'm sure that she'll be ready to listen when you're ready to talk about dad."
She nods.
"I love you Ev," he says. "You're going to be okay."
"Love you too," she sniffles.
He kisses her cheek before he pulls away.
Harry comes into the kitchen, and he pats Ryan's back. "You doing alright?"
"Yeah," Ryan says. "Thanks."
"I just want to say I'm proud of you," Harry says with a smile. "Natalia is a lovely, intelligent woman."
"Thank you," Ryan says.
Though Ryan was seventeen and getting ready to head off to college by the time Harry came into his mother's life, he still respects the man for taking care of his mother, and being there for Ever. He didn't have a problem with Harry, was there for the wedding, and he supported his mother fully in her new life. Likewise, Harry has treated Ryan and Ever as if they were his children, and he has always wanted to be there for them. When Ever found out that she was pregnant, he stepped right in and chose to be a grandfather, though he was disappointed at first, as well as his wife. Still, Tabitha brought them all closer together.
When Ryan got into his mess, he didn't hesitate in helping his step-son start over. That changed the relationship they had, and to this day, Ryan is grateful to him for getting out of that life. Harry is glad to see Ryan happy again, glad to see that he is in love with a beautiful, supportive woman and ready to settle down and make a life with her. He has matured and is ready to take his life to the next level with someone who is ready as well.
He didn't know Norman personally, but he knew how much he'd hurt Joy and Ryan and Ever. The choices that the siblings made as teenagers and very young adults are evidence of how lost they'd been. But now they both have careers, they have people that they love and care for, and they love each other.
Harry knows that Joy worked hard for her children, and it has paid off, because she gets to see them healthy and happy.
After a while, Ryan and Natalia they both bid Joy, Ever, and Tabitha goodnight and decide to head back to the hotel, and Harry drives them back.
"Thank you, Harry," Natalia says as she hugs him. "And it was nice to finally meet you."
"Same here," Harry says. "We'll have to get you back up here real soon, Natalia."
"That would be great."
Ryan shakes his step-father's hand and gives him a quick hug.
"Goodnight Ryan," Harry says. "Love you."
"Love you too," Ryan says. "We'll see you tomorrow."
Harry nods before he gets back into the car and heads off.
O-o-O
Natalia is jarred awake from her sleep when a loud clap of thunder bursts in the sky and rattles through the room a bit. She takes in a deep breath and sits up a bit, looking at the clock. It is a little after two AM, and she sighs, turning onto her side, and it is then that she sees Ryan sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, watching the rain. She wonders if he even fell asleep; he hasn't had a good night's sleep since he got the news that his father died, and she is concerned because he hasn't talked to her, hasn't opened up about what he is feeling, about what this means for him...them.
She pushes the covers off of her, and she gets out of bed, going over to him, and he looks up at her when she gently rubs his shoulder.
"Sweetie," she whispers. "You've got to get some sleep..."
"I know, 'Lia," he says, putting his hand on her lower back.
She steps in front of him and he puts his hands on her hips, looking up into her eyes, which are glistening with tears.
"Ryan, will you please just talk to me?" Natalia implores. "You-you're scaring me...I don't know what to think, what to say...I feel like we're getting ready to take a giant step backward. I can't take that, I really can't. You haven't been sleeping well, and I-I feel so helpless...I don't know how to help you get through this."
"Honey...I'm sorry," he says quietly, his hands sliding around to her lower back. "I just...it's been really difficult. I don't know what to do myself...I want to talk to you, honey. I don't want to leave you out in the cold with this. There's so many emotions that I feel, and it's hard to sort through them and try and feel each one at a time."
She puts her hands on his shoulders. "How can I help you?"
He grins a bit. "You are helping me, 'Lia. You being here is helping me."
"I love you," she says.
"I love you too," he whispers as he gently brings her closer.
Ryan wraps his arms around her, resting his head against her abdomen and she caresses over his shoulders, lightly combs her fingers through his hair. He presses a kiss into her abdomen before resting against it, and she caresses over his arms then back up and around his neck, over his shoulders again.
He looks up at her again and she leans down and kisses him softly. He caresses his hands up and down her waist slowly, and she leans down and kisses him again. He stands up and he kisses her more insistently this time, and she puts her hands on his chest as she deepens the kiss. He caresses his hands up her abdomen and one hand gently cups her breast as the other caresses over her back. She moans softly when he squeezes her breast and rubs his thumb over the nipple. She parts her lips and invites him in and he groans at the taste of her as he caresses over the side of her breast before cupping it fully again. He moves to kiss her neck as he brings her closer to him, his arms winding around her waist as he kisses and nips along her neck.
"I love you," he whispers against her flesh. "I need you, 'Lia..."
She puts her hands on his cheeks and brings him into a loving, passionate kiss and he returns it in kind.
Ryan's hands slide under her tank top, and he cups her warm breasts in his hands before he breaks their kiss and pushes her tank top up and off and she takes his shirt off before she presses herself against his chest and kisses him deeply. He caresses his hands down her back and into her cotton pajama pants, into her panties and he pushes both down to her thighs and she gets them the rest of the way off and she steps out of them.
She kisses down his neck and over his shoulders as her hands caress over his chest and abdomen. She gives him one more sweet kiss before pulling away and getting back into bed, and he takes his pants off before joining her, caressing her cheek as he kisses her softly. She gently pushes him onto his back, straddling him. She caresses her hands over his chest, leaning down and giving him hot, sultry kisses over his flesh. She kisses her way down his body and she grips his cock in her hand, feeling just how much he wants and needs her right now. She strokes him slowly, making him groan and tilt his head back against the pillows.
Suddenly, she replaces her hand with her hot mouth, and he gasps and utters her name with a pleasured sigh. He grips the sheets in his fists when she laves her tongue over him, swirls, sucks, strokes. She caresses her hands up his chest as she releases him for all of a second before she gives him a slow lick with her tongue, her hot breath teasing against sensitive flesh. She takes his head between her lips, sucks at it before sliding her tongue over it.
"Mm," she moans. "I love you..."
"I love you too," comes his strangled reply as he gently tangles his fingers into her hair, losing all sense of thought as she pleasures him.
She takes him fully into her mouth again, sucking, licking, moaning...his eyes roll back as the sparks of desire shoot through his body, keenly feeling the wet heat of her mouth surrounding him, up and down, up and down, again, again, a little faster, a little harder...
"Uuhnh...yes, feels so good," he manages, a shudder seizing his body. "'Lia..."
"Mm," she moans as she gently strokes his balls, and he tells himself that he needs to stop her.
"Honey," he says quickly. "'Lia...I need to be inside you."
She releases him and she comes up and kisses him deeply, straddling him again and he puts his hands on her hips as she slowly sinks onto him, her scorching canal tight and slick. She kisses him softly and he caresses his hand up to her breast, gently twisting the nipple with his fingers and she moans.
"Ryan..."
He is deep inside her, throbbing, stretching, and she savors the feeling, linking their hands together.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers.
"You're incredible," she whispers with a smile as she brings their joined hands over his head. "You're so sexy and handsome...you're so wonderful, sweetie..."
She begins to move slowly over him and he groans.
"You feel so good Ryan," she moans. "I love the way you feel inside me..."
He leans up and captures her lips. "I love being inside you," he whispers against her lips.
She releases their hands and puts her hands on his chest, and his hands move to cup a breast and a hip respectively as she grinds her hips against his, building the exquisite friction between them. Slowly, the tension of the day is melting from his body, allowing him to feel the intense pleasure that is making him forget his confusion and grief for a while.
He slides his hand down from her breast, over her abdomen and down to her clit, pressing his thumb, and she gasps and she quickly removes his hand, kissing over it, licking the wetness from his thumb before she links their hands again. She is giving, doing all of the things he likes her to do, and taking care of him. This woman has given him yet another reason to fall deeper in love with her.
"You feel so good, sweetie," she purrs. "So good..."
He lets go of her hands and he rolls her onto her back, and he licks and sucks at her nipple, making her moan and comb her fingers through his hair. He moves to the other breast, laving and sucking, swirling his tongue around the hard tip of flesh before he kisses the valley between her breasts, up to her neck, over her jaw.
She drapes her calves over the back of his thighs and puts her hands on his lower back, bringing him in deeper.
He caresses her cheek as he kisses her hard, passionate as he slowly withdraws and then slides back in, angling his hips just so, hitting that spot inside her that makes her whimper, shudder, and flush with heat. He moves slowly, just enjoying the feel of her, the taste of her as his tongue duels with hers.
Ryan begins to move faster, grunting in her ear as he nibbles her earlobe.
He feels intense arousal coursing through his body, and he needs more of her, wants more of her. He caresses his hand down her thigh and under her knee as he hikes her leg up higher on his waist, thrusting deeper, harder, grinding his hips into hers, furrowing his eyebrows as he presses his forehead against hers, feeling the heat surrounding them, a light sheen of sweat forming between them.
Her tongue darts out and licks at his lips as she wraps one arm around his shoulders and the other hooks under his arm. He thrusts into her faster, harder, and he groans her name before kissing her softly.
He slides his hand down between them, and he teases at her clit again, but she stops him and he looks at her.
"Why-"
"You need this," she whispers. "I love you...let me protect you now. I'm giving you what you need. It's okay, sweetie."
He kisses her before he buries his face into her neck and moves faster, harder, and she tightens her legs around him. She can feel his hot breath against her neck coming in pants, in growls, in groans as he pushes deeper inside her.
"'Lia...God 'Lia..." He groans as he thrusts. "Feels so damn good...so tight..."
"Right there," she moans. "Yes...I love you inside me, going so deep..."
He grunts into her neck as he feels the tingle of pleasure build at the base of his spine.
Natalia kisses his cheek as he moves over her frantically, desperately, losing himself in her and in the incredible feeling of being one with her.
Ryan closes his eyes tightly as he feels closer and closer to coming.
"I love you 'Lia," he pants. "I love you..."
"I love you," she whimpers, her inner muscles fluttering around him. "Yes...Ryan...come inside me."
He thrusts hard into her, one, two, three more times before he lifts his head, grunting into the room as he comes inside her, in turn making her come around him. She brings him into a deep kiss, and he groans against her lips as he spills into her, making her feel warm and velvety. He slows to a stop as their kiss turns lazy, languid, and she caresses over his back as he pulls away and buries his face into her sweaty neck.
After a few minutes, he relaxes and she holds him, caressing softly over his back, smoothing over his hair. She feels wetness against her neck and she puts her hand on his cheek, feeling his silent tears against her palm.
"I love you," Ryan whispers. "I love you so much 'Lia."
"I love you too," Natalia says quietly, smoothing over his hair. "Get some rest, sweetie. Just rest."
He kisses her neck softly before they both drift off to sleep.
O-o-O
"What time is your flight again?" Ever asks as she begins to clean up after breakfast.
"Twelve thirty," Ryan says as he helps Ever.
Natalia is still working on her coffee, and Joy and Harry are finishing up.
"We're going to drive out this evening," Harry says. "Too bad you two can't stay the rest of the day."
"I know," Natalia sighs. "But I've got to get back to work tomorrow."
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you," Joy says. "How are your friends? The couple having the baby?"
"Oh, they're fine," Natalia says with a smile. "Calleigh's doing well with the pregnancy...but she's getting more tired though."
"I remember those days," Joy chuckles. "Ryan over there was sweet as pie, but that one, Miss Ever, gave me a run for my money."
"Only 'cause I was meant for greatness," Ever smiles.
"What about me?" Ryan asks.
"Eh..." Ever shrugs.
"You're lucky I love you, sis," he chuckles.
Ever turns serious. "I need to talk to you outside."
Ryan nods and he follows Ever across the living room and outside on the patio.
"How'd you do last night?" He asks. "Are you alright?"
She sighs, looking out at the city. "I did okay...better than I did yesterday. You?"
"Same," he shrugs. "'Lia being here has really helped me to deal with this..."
Ever turns to look at him.
"Ry...could you forgive him? Did you forgive him?"
Ryan crosses his arms over his chest. "I wasn't sure that I could...I wasn't even sure I could find it in myself to love him, and not hate him..."
Ever tilts her head to the side.
"Ma raised us right," he says. "Even though dad hurt us, she never said a cross word against him to us. Even to this day, she still never said anything against him. I chose to forgive him because I'm my own person, Ev. I changed my life, I fell in love again, and...seeing Ma forgive him, and just watching how Natalia changed after she forgave her ex husband Nick for all the things he did to her, I knew I had to, for myself, for 'Lia because she deserves the best from me. And I couldn't give that to her, I couldn't be a good father to any my own children I may have with her if I didn't. It was hard as hell, I'll tell you that, but...it's changed the way I dealt with him being sick, with him dying. I called him...I was surprised the old man even wanted to hear me out...but he did. I forgave him, Ev, and he brushed me off. But still, at least I'm okay."
She nods. "Just like that?"
"It's taken some time," he explains. "It will take some time, Ev. I can't tell you what to do or when to do it, but...I think that it'll be good for you when you do, and for Tabby."
Ever nods again then she hugs her brother. "Thanks, big bro."
Joy comes outside and Ryan grins at her, holding out his arm and she steps into the family embrace.
"My babies," she sighs.
Natalia can't help but smile when she sees Ryan comforting his mother and sister.
She knows he'll be okay.
They'll be okay.