So it Begins

He sat on the edge of the bed waiting impatiently. The stitches had been removed; he'd had his check up, got dressed (with a lot of help) and held the long list of 'Can do/Can't do' in his hand. So where was Calleigh? He looked at his watch, it was all of 2 minutes since he'd last looked and his stomach was churning. He just wanted to get out of here!

"Hi Hon" she breezed in, "Parking was a nightmare, so I used the Departmental badge."

Ryan slid off the bed, put his arms round her and thought he never wanted to let go of this moment. "You're late." He muttered in her ear.

"Last minute hold up. H wanted something for the…." She stopped as she realised Ryan might not remember about Forbes' trial. Should she tell him? He had a right to know, didn't he?

"For the what, Cal?"

"The trial, Ryan, Forbes' trial" she said, her voice was concerned. She was unsure how he'd react.

"How are things going?" he released his hold on her. Why hadn't those memories returned with the others?

"Difficult to tell, I mean, the evidence is sound but your father's influence on the defence…" She trailed off. David was Ryan's father, after all. Even when she'd been really mad at her own father, she wouldn't accept any criticism of him from anyone else. Ryan could feel the same way.

"It's OK, Cal, I know how he operates - boy do I know!"

"They're expecting the verdict today." The look on his face made her regret telling him that piece of information.

"Take me to the court." He snapped

"No, Ryan, the doctor said you were to go home and take things easy"

"Look, either you take me or I'll call a cab! One way or another I'm going to be there" His voice was quiet, level, but determined. Calleigh had never seen that look on his face before, but she knew he would do exactly as he said.

"OK, but don't tell your doctor we're taking a diversion" She sighed, she hadn't realised he could be stubborn.

"Thank you. Sorry, didn't mean to get mad at you"

"Yes you did, Ryan, but it's OK, I understand."

The nurse came in pushing a wheelchair. "If that's for me," Ryan pointed at it, "you can take it away again. I don't need it and I'm sure not getting in it!"

"Fine, Mr Wolfe. I take it you want to stay in this room for the rest of your life." The look on Ryan's face was a mix of surprise and disgust. "Hospital policy" she continued," you either take one last ride or you stay here."

He shook his head, realising it was pointless to argue and sat heavily into the offending chair. He was getting tired of being pushed around - literally and figuratively. Grabbing the bag containing his things, he slammed it onto his knees, "You've got your way. Now can we go?" He was surprised at himself; he was behaving like a petulant child. He wasn't sure why he was behaving this way, and he certainly didn't like it, "Get a grip, Ryan, or you could wind up losing Calleigh! She wont put up with it for long, she'll make allowance, sure, but there will be a limit to her patience" he told himself.

Their uniformed 'shadow' followed them to Calleigh's car, scanning the area while Ryan waited to get in.

"Come on, Cal, I'm a sitting target here!" he shouted. As she looked at him, he grinned. "Well, I am." He quipped.

She glared at him and he shrugged his shoulders, the smile fading a little but remaining around the corners of his mouth. He had the option of dealing with his problems by hostility or humour, he decided humour would probably get him further, and would cause fewer difficulties with Calleigh.

"If you want to go to the courthouse, you'd better behave!" she warned.

Ryan initially thought she was serious, but her eyes gave her away as mischief was hiding behind the glare.

"You sure you're up to this?" she continued.

"No, but I have to do it. I've got to be there! I owe it to the others." Ryan was sitting with his arms wrapped around himself. Recently recovered memories were fighting for dominance, but he couldn't let them win. He would be dragged back to those dark recesses of his mind that had taken so much effort to escape. The pain from his still healing wound was intensifying, but he refused to take any medication, he wanted; no, he needed a clear head.

As they approached the entrance, they could see Horatio and Eric. Did this mean they were still waiting for the jury to return or was it all over?

"Ryan, what are you doing here? You should be at home resting" Horatio was concerned that the young man was overdoing it.

"Had to come, H. I couldn't stay at home knowing what was going on"

"And how did that happen?" Horatio asked, looking directly at Calleigh.

"He had a right to know, H. I didn't think he'd insist on coming though." Calleigh explained.

At that moment, a uniformed officer came out of the building and spoke quietly to Horatio.

"The jury is coming back" he said softly and turned to re-enter and they all followed. Ryan stumbled; his legs didn't feel as though they wanted to support him. Calleigh noticed and held out her hand to offer support and he nodded his thanks. She helped him into the courtroom and to a seat. He was pale and beads of perspiration were forming on his upper lip. "Definitely too much too soon" she thought and she hoped Ryan would be able to make it. He looked at her; she could see the gratitude in his eyes and she covered his upturned hand with her own.

"Guilty" was all he heard, it was really all that mattered. The sentence didn't matter; nothing could bring his friends back or Lauren out of her coma. In spite of his father's best efforts, Forbes had been found guilty and, at last, there was some justice. Forbes would be taken out of circulation for a while; he wouldn't be able to destroy any more lives.

Horatio had made him a promise and had kept it. Forbes had been found guilty of vehicular homicide.

He hadn't been sure how he would react if Forbes were convicted, with his father on the case, Ryan seriously doubted this moment would ever come but he'd reckoned without the tenacity of Horatio and MDPD. He thought that he'd feel something - elation, relief, something - but not this.

Standing on the Courthouse steps, he was struggling to keep control. He felt her hand brush against his then her fingers gently wrapped around his hand. She was always there for him now, as were the rest of the team. They'd learned more about Ryan in the last few months than in the two years he'd been working with them, and everyone felt guilty how they'd treated the young CSI. They understood him now, how he lived each and every day in his own private hell, a self imposed exile from the rest of the world - but how, more than anything he just wanted to be accepted once again.

The close party of four - Ryan, Calleigh, Horatio and Eric moved towards the Hummer. Ryan and Calleigh getting into the rear of the vehicle. Once out of public eyes, Ryan folded. It was so hard to take in. Forbes had been found guilty of the manslaughter of the young family, but the murder of his six friends, almost seven years previously, could not be taken into account.

"Lauren, I have to go see Lauren, and the others. I have to tell them," he said tonelessly.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Calleigh asked.

Ryan looked at her and nodded.

"Horatio?"

"Sure, Calleigh, I think the circumstances are so unusual we could let you both go. Besides, it isn't the kind of trip he should make alone." He glanced at Ryan who was holding his head in his hands. The young man's grip on reality was slipping away and Calleigh was the only anchor he had. Although the lab needed her, Ryan's need was greater.

Calleigh suddenly remembered her own car.

"Don't worry, Cal, just give me the keys and a rough idea where you've abandoned it. I'll drive it back." Eric offered.

"Thanks Eric". She said, gently cradling Ryan.