A/N: Hello again everyone! This chapter is a few days late, but better late than never right?
Before we get to that, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!
I hope you all enjoy!
They got home and Katie set the tea kettle on, ordering Dak to grab the cookies from the bottom cupboard. James busied himself putting away his badminton gear in the utility closet.
Kendall couldn't stomach eating anything and waved the offer of cookies away. He sat on the couch and stared at James when he came back with a fixed smile that didn't reach his eyes and Kendall hated it. The smile was a lie.
Kendall felt the tenderness of James' hurt like it was his own.
Dak slumped next to Kendall, grabbed him around the neck, and ruffled his hair. "I've decided I like you, man."
Kendall peeled Dak's fingers off him. "Thanks. I'm still undecided."
Dak laughed, and James watched briefly as he helped Katie squeeze out the tea bags from their mugs. Kendall knew it took everything James had to act normal and he wished that James would just drop the fucking act.
"Honestly, for a second I hesitated before pulling you back." Dak admitted. "I really wanted you to hit the fucker."
Katie chimed in. "I'm glad no one will be able to press charges. Kendall, why?"
Kendall kept his mouth shut. He refused to bring up Jett's words. The way James stared at their finished tea, the memories were already close enough to the surface.
"I'm exhausted." James said before clamping a hand on Katie's shoulder. "I wish you all a good night. Dak, you're on breakfast tomorrow."
Then, with the barest glance at each of them, he trudged up to his room.
Dak planted a warm mug in Kendall's hand. A few minutes later, Kendall hadn't sipped his tea. Dak snapped his fingers, forcing Kendall's attention from the balcony and James' closed door back to the living room.
"So, you've been practicing badminton on the sly. Tell me about that." Dak said softly, probably sensing Kendall's need to go and comfort James.
"You know what? I'm tired too." Kendall stood, poured his untouched drink down the sink, and headed up the stairs.
"Your bedroom's that way." Dak joked. Kendall flipped him off and continued up to James' room.
Kendall slipped inside and shut the door softly. The reading lamp at the side of James' bed was on, casting a soft glow over the room. James wasn't reading, though. He lay in bed, one arm crooked over his upward turned face. He had forgotten to take off his watch, but the folded clothes on the armchair suggested he'd undressed.
James shifted his arm as if to peek from under it and then changed his mind. Kendall gritted his teeth, wishing he had clocked Jett. James might be good at pretending he'd be fine and he sure as hell would be reasonable, but that wasn't enough for Kendall. He needed to take the hurt away. Needed James to know that none of what Jett said was true.
Needed him to know that he was the most incredible guy Kendall had ever known.
Kendall pinched the hem of his shirt and drew it over his head. He tossed it over the back of the armchair and did the same with this pants.
Kendall slid into the crisp, cool sheets, rolling onto his side.
Neither of them spoke.
Kendall carefully unclasped the latch of James' watch, drew it off him, and placed it on the side table.
James still didn't remove his arm, but his fingers twitched.
Resting his head on James' shoulder, Kendall put a hand on his chest.
James curled closer, palm grazing Kendall's back and hip. Arousal thickened his cock, but Kendall ignored it. The edge of his lips was against James' skin, and he pressed them against the warmth, feeling James' heart pulse and his quick intake of breath.
Finally, that arm dropped and James cupped the back of Kendall's neck. Their eyes met, the seconds spinning and tangling until Kendall was caught and couldn't look away. He didn't want to, either.
Kendall pushed a foot against James' and hooked a leg over his waist, propping himself up. He fit himself against James, their erections pressing together with a burst of want. He restrained from thrusting and combed his fingers through James' hair, settling his grip at the side of James' neck. He urged James' chin up with his thumb and dipped his head.
The kiss was tender, unhurried.
Kendall breath shuddered when they pulled apart, and then he kissed him again, relishing the way James clutched and arched into him. Shivers slingshot through him as their tongues touched.
Feeling James' need, Kendall wrapped his hand around both their dicks and he stroked slowly, pulling out every grunt and gasp and shudder from James as he could. Every time James let go, Kendall soaked it up.
Kendall kissed down James' neck to the spot on his shoulder that made James buck and rumble with a moan, and Kendall returned each grunt, gasp and puff of breath until he didn't know whose was whose anymore.
Kendall felt James' pleasure crescendo and because of it, his own as well. He dropped another kiss, and then another and another. He couldn't get enough.
James was close, and Kendall felt the short, urgent bursts of breath tickle the seam of his mouth. Their gazes locked. A moment of connection, startling awareness, passed before orgasm plunged through them and they stilled, croaking together as their warm seed spilled over their stomachs.
Boneless, Kendall collapsed against James as they caught their breath, mingling their release over their treasure trails. James flexed under him as he shifted, reaching for tissues.
Kendall pushed up with a shy smile and took over, cleaning both of them. He caught the flush in James' cheeks as he reached for his lamp. Kendall had made that happen.
He climbed back into bed and James turned off the light, and without hesitation, James tucked Kendall against his side.
James shut his eyes and sighed. The feeling vibrated through Kendall's hand lying against James' stomach. That sick tightness surged inside, filling him up violently, insisting Kendall face what he knew it was deep down.
He trembled at James's side.
Oh.
Fuck.
XxX
This time things got awkward.
Kendall felt extremely… aware. So aware that everything he did seemed exaggerated. All that mattered was making James laugh. Making James banter with him. Making James anything.
Yet he seemed to be fucking it up, because over the following week, James grew distant.
If Kendall didn't know better, he'd think James was avoiding him.
James was still there, but he kept a ring of space around him. When Kendall flopped down on the couch next to him, James got up to make tea. When Kendall touched his arm, James pulled away to check the time on his watch. When Kendall climbed up to his room at night, James wouldn't come to bed until Kendall had fallen asleep, and he'd be up first in the morning.
When Kendall masked a sudden ache and joked about James not being hot for him, James grew silent. He swallowed a lot. Then he told Kendall that he had a lot on his mind. Summer courses started next week and he had too much planning to do. To be fair, every time Kendall glanced at James' laptop he was working on economics slideshows.
Turned out Kendall freaked out about being with a guy after all.
He ran, navigating potholes while trying to sort out the pitfalls of his new situation, but he didn't get far. That sickness kept stinging him like a manic, evil wasp. He even had to stop running twice, bent over a gutter.
All he could imagine was the horrible hollowness that would consume him if he lost his friend.
XxX
Final grades were in.
Kendall checked his results online while Katie tried on a dress. "Can't go too short or too flashy, keep that in mind."
Katie tugged at the separating curtain and Kendall stopped looking at his screen and looked up. Katie wore a navy tank dress with splits up to the low thigh. "Looks classy to me."
"This one? Or the twisty dress one? Which one works better with my cleavage?"
"Ugh. Shouldn't your boyfriend be here for this?"
"No, I want to surprise him. We should hurry because my alarm just beeped. He'll be outside any minute now."
"Fine, the one you have on. It covers more."
"The other one it is."
Kendall huffed out a laugh and helped her to the cashier to pay. Once they were out of the store and into the early evening sunshine, Katie handed him her bag. "Take that home with you and shove it in my closet? And maybe do something about whatever's making you restless?"
"I'm not restless." He was totally restless.
Dak made his presence known with a whistle, then slung an arm over Katie's shoulder and pulled her in for a kiss.
"That's my cue to leave." Kendall said. "Enjoy your dinner."
At the bus stop, Kendall continued checking his grades. He almost missed his ride when he saw an A+ next to applied econ.
He punched the sky and dashed into the bus. He couldn't wait to tell James. No matter what awkwardness was happening between them, James would be thrilled. Proud too, as he should be. Without James, it never would have happened.
He spotted James' car at the curb. He entered the house too excited to care about taking off his shoes or dumping his satchel. He darted to Katie's closet and put her dress away, and then bounced up the stairs calling James' name.
He heard the shower running and parked himself on the desk chair, setting his bag on James' desk. For a moment, he considered stripping and joining James, but he decided against it.
Kendall searched James' desk for a piece of paper to scribble a quote of the day on. He opened James' desk drawer and pulled out some wrinkled paper.
Kendall blinked. Looked at the second piece of paper and the third. He swallowed hard as he set the paper on the desk in the shoddy puddle of evening light coming through the window.
The shower shut off. He heard James' footsteps.
His throat had seized up and heat burned his eyes. He pinched the edge of the desk with his fingers as if that might ground him.
It didn't.
The air stirred behind him.
"Kendall?" James said. A drawer opened and closed. The wet towel thwapped over the top of the door. "I thought you were meeting Logan and Carlos tonight?"
"Something came up." Kendall said stiffly. "I came home instead." He swiveled around slowly, hoping his stomach would come with him. "You're looking for a new place?"
James had one leg in his pants when he froze. He looked over at Kendall and then past him at the papers in the desk. Roommate Wanted notices pulled from pin boards. Slowly, James pulled up and buttoned his pants. "I was thinking about it. Just in case."
Kendall numbly nodded. "You were thinking about it." He repeated, a new bloom of pain hurtling through him. "Thinking of how you will up and leave us."
James abandoned his T-shirt and sat on the edge of the bed facing Kendall. He tried to take his hand, but Kendall leaned away. "Kendall, it's not like that. I just-"
"Want to leave us."
"No. Yes. I don't know. It might be best, but-"
Kendall gasped the second James uttered yes. He shoved off the chair and grabbed his bag. "Might be best?"
James stood, reaching for him again. Kendall jerked out of reach. "Don't touch me."
"You need to calm down so we can talk about this properly."
"You want to talk? You want to be mature about this? Well, here's what I think. You're wrong. You, James, who is always right, are so fucking wrong."
James kept himself in control, tempered, waiting for a break so he might slip in a word. Well, he wasn't going to get one.
"Fuck you, Mr. James Diamond. Fuck you." Kendall said, trying as hard as he could to keep his voice steady. But his voice betrayed him.
Kendall fled the bedroom without looking back. He couldn't bear to see James' sudden realization followed by the gentle way he would let Kendall down.
With a pounding heart, he took the stairs three at a time.
"I lied, Kendall!" James yelled from the balcony, but the words bounced off Kendall. He was too anguished, sad, and embarrassed. He couldn't take any more. "From the beginning, I lied. About how I feel. About the T-shirt. I lied."
Kendall slammed the front door and ran.
Done! So, yeah... that just happened. I'm going to go hide in a corner once again.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment! Or, you know, you can yell at me if you want. :P
I'm not quite sure when the next chapter will be up, but you won't have to wait too long for it.
Until then!
-Epically Obsessed