Summary: Pittoo's good teacher arrives at the Smash Mansion.
Notes: These past two weeks without Pitstain talking to me have been great but now I'm getting concerned. This isn't like him at all! When I was playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe today, he didn't bother to even ask to play with me. Instead he just went into his room. At first having him not bug me was peaceful but now I kind of want him to talk to me again. He acts like I don't exist at all! My dumb mom hasn't picked up on it yet.
[To correspond with Tiffany having a first and a last name unlike Mr. Johnson, the author decided to give Gaol a surname at random.]
CHAP 21: THE GOOD TEACHER
It was a few days later. Magnus was still in hiding and we couldn't find him. I went on another tripel date to Starbucks with Viridi, cloud, Fiora, Shulk and Reyn. I was drinking my frappucino when suddenly a familiar face I wasn't expecting came in and sat next to me.
"Hi Pittoo," she greeted.
"Hi Gaol," I greeted back.
It was my English teacher Miss Wilson but I call her Gaol even though in real life she's been telling me to stop doing that for months now. She said she'll give me a demerit if I do it again. In this story, she's okay with it though. She's really patient with me even though I have dysgraphia (see, I have a learning disability when it comes to English so insulting my story and saying I write bad is ABLEIST) and writing is hard. She even lets me come in after school sometimes to get extra help with writing. I think that means we're friends. Dysgraphia is a challenge that affects my handwriting ability and fine motor skills. Problems may include illegible handwriting, inconsistent spacing, poor spatial planning on paper, poor spelling and difficulty composing writing as well as thinking and writing at the same time. I also see biology as a challenge as girls were made so much more attractive than boys. The only bad thing is that she's best friends with Miss Pandora of all people. In fact, I wrote the first chapter of this story after she came into class and told us she was engaged (she's engaged to the real Magnus in real life. Despite her being straight, I'm surprisingly okay with it). At least I can say she isn't engaged to Miss Pandora, otherwise I would have vomited. Either way, she's not good enough for Gaol.
"I just broke my friendship with Miss Pandora because she's evil," Gaol said.
"Cool," I said. We all went back to the mansion together. When we arrived back at the mansion, Master Hand flew up.
"Pittoo, you need to stop bringing new people here," Master Hand scolded, "especially without doing the paperwork."
"Master Hand you're such an asshole, why do you have to be this way?" I said.
"It's okay Pittoo," Gaol said. "I'll do Master Hand's paperwork."
And so Gaol left to do that. I went to the TV screen room again to see if the evil people were up to anything. None of them new I can see their plans, just like in the movies. Miss Pandora looked sad.
"My bestie called out friendship off because I'm evil," she said.
"That's okay, we should probably tell Link to conversion rape her into a straight person anyways," Donald Tarnish said.
"Yeah, go do that now. Phosphora, Link is probably in Cracker Barrel because he's straight," God said.
"Okay," Phosphora said. "I was going to go there anyways because I'm straight too. When Miss Wilson (she's not good enough friends with Gaol to call her by her first name) is completely straight, she'll go bye Ms. Wilson because that's what conservative straight women do and then she'll give Pittoo an F and rape him."
And so Phosphora left to go to Cracker Barrel. Soon Tod laughed evilly as he clapped his hands.
"While Phosphora gets Link from Cracker Barrel, I will introduce you to a new evil legion so powerful Pittoo will poop his pants," God said. A couple of new faces came out of nowhere.
"Who're they?" Dong Trump questioned.
"They are the twelve apostles who serve under me. You already met one of them being Palutena. Now you will meet the rest," God answered.
"Hello gracious father," Hylia said. She was alongside her apostles Din, Nayru and Farore.
"It's about bloody time!" Zanza said because he's British and evil. He's from Shulk's game and wants to turn the High Entei into tilapia.
"Explore the cosmos," Rosalina said. The only reason she was at the mansion was because she's a smasher. Otherwise, I would have told Master Hand to get rid of her.
"Poaskmin," Arceus said.
"I am the divine dragon Naga," Naga said.
"Knock knock I'm Knuckles and this here is the Master Emerald," Knuckles said (I know he's Sonic's friend but he's evil in this).
"Hello Sod. Nice to see you again," Anankos said.
I was scared again as God revealed my newest enemies. I had to protect Gaol from becoming straight (she's a lesbian in my story)! I'd stop her before she got to Cracker Barrel but I'm gay so I didn't know where the nearest one to the mansion was and even if I did, that place would certainly be filled with too many straights, so I just had to protect Gaol by staying near her.
I want to tell everyone about what I saw. Viridi, Cloud and Fiora joined me in protecting Gaol from being raped by Link.
Pittoo uploaded the finished chapter on AO3, hoping the "conservatives" and all of the other "narrow-minded" individuals didn't immediately start attacking him again. He still wasn't too sure why they kept bringing up the way he treated his brother despite him lacking knowledge that Pit knew about the story. While it was certainly peaceful not having Pit chat his ear off for these past two weeks, Pittoo couldn't help but feel empty.
Ever since that day he stopped talking to him completely, Pittoo was getting harassed left and right by various "conservatives", not just on AO3 either. They were even attacking him on Tumblr, sending him rude anon messages, telling him how much of a hypocrite and terrible human being he was to even crueler messages he wished to erase from his mind. Despite this, Pittoo tried to keep himself together but in spite of it all, slowly but surely, his composure began to gradually crack. He wasn't sure how much more torment and harassment he could even bear anymore.
As much as he hated to admit, Pittoo realized he probably needed to take a break from the internet for a while and at least go outside-or in his case, play video games. He can even start shopping for Viridi's special day if he wanted to, yet it didn't feel the same without Pit. Yes, he found him to be a complete nuisance yet without the company of his brother, Pittoo felt extremely lonely. It was almost as if he was barely liked to begin with.
His thoughts continued consuming him whole, flooding Pittoo's mind of the cruel messages people send him over the past few weeks he started writing his questionable story. He would never admit it but words do hurt, especially if one knew them to be true. There was only one thing he could do. He logged off his account and left his Chrome browser open before leaving the room. He slowly made his way towards his mother's room, reaching for the door as he turned the knob before stepping inside.
Palutena was fixated on a novel however she quickly placed the book down as her youngest son entered. Her gaze was fixated on him, recalling the last time Pittoo even stumbled into her room estimating around seven years ago, back when that sperm donor was still around. Palutena immediately picked up something odd, knowing Pittoo wasn't himself. Her motherly instincts went through the roof as she got up from her bed.
"Is everything alright?" she asked gently.
Hearing those words caused Pittoo to instantly burst into tears. He latched onto his mother, startling her as Palutena began rubbing his back while her son wailed into her chest.
"People won't stop bullying me!" he sobbed.
"Who's bullying you? Is this happening at school?" Palutena knew Pittoo was rather reclusive when it came to telling her anything. She usually had to either fork it out of him or had the unfortunate luck of one of his teachers calling her from school about his disruptive behavior or the inability to correctly grasp his assignments. Regardless of what they told her, Palutena always defended her children, even if Pittoo sometimes gave the teachers a hard time.
Pittoo nodded his head in response which was proceeded by a few hiccups. "It's happening both at school and online! I didn't do anything to them but people keep harassing me, calling me hurtful names and even told me to get off the internet!"
While Palutena consoled her son, Pit on the other hand, entered his bedroom and took note of Pittoo's laptop being vacant. Part of him was still angered by the story up on AO3 as he motioned his way towards his brother's computer. Luckily for him, the odds were in his favor as Pittoo set all of his passwords to autosave on Chrome. Pit managed to somehow decipher his password, jolting it down on a piece of paper before smiling.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind someone writing along with him," Pit thought out loud to himself. The boy beamed wide at the thought of trying to gear the story into something more legible, feeling happy that his brother's readers called him out on his bigotry. Soon he will have his revenge.
RAW VERSION! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
Summary: Pittoos gud teecher cums 2 the Smesh Manshun
Notes: Teese pass to weks witout Pitstain talken 2 me have ben grate but now Im getan cancurned. This isant like him atall. Wen I wuz playen Mareo Krat 8 Delax today he didant bathur 2 evan ask 2 play with me. Instad he just want 2 his rom. At ferst haven him naut bag me was paceful but nao i kinda wanhim 2 tak 2 me agen. He ascs like I dont exast at al. My dumb mom hasant piked up on it yat.
CHAP 21: THE GUD TEECHER
It was a fwe days latter and Magnus was stil in hidun and we coldnt fine him. So I went on anuther tripel dat 2 starbawks with Viridi and Clod and Fjork and Sholk and Ryne. I was drunkin my frapucheno wen sudanly a femalar persan I wasnt excepting cam and sat naxt 2 me.
"Hi Pittoo" she greted.
"Hi Gaol" I greted back.
It was my englesh teecher Miss Wilson but I call her Gaol evan tho in reel life shes ben tell me 2 stap dong that 4 moths and ses shell giv me a damerit if I doit agen. In this storey shes ok with it tho. Shes relly patent with me evan tho I hav disgruphia (c I hav a leaning disabulty wen it cums 2 englesh so insalting my storey and sayen I rite bad is ABOLIST) and wratin is hard. She evan les me cum in aftar scule sumtims 2 get help with wrating. I thank that mens wer frends. Disgruphia is a chalice that effacts my henwrating abelty and fin mutar skels. Poblams mei includ illedible henwrating, incancistant spoceng, pore spatel plannin on papur, pore spaleng, and difecalty cumpaseng wrating as well as thaking and wraten at the sam tim. I olso biolge as a chalice as girls ware mad so much mor attrective than bois. The onely bad thin is that shes best frans with Ms Pandora of al pepole in fact I wrote the ferst chaptar of this story aftar she cam into class and telled us she was engage (shes engaged 2 the reel Magnus in reel life. Despat her bean strait, im soprisangly ok with it). At lest I can say she isant engage 2 Ms Pandora otharwise I wold hav vomated. Ether way shes not gud enuf 4 Gaol.
"I just braked up my franshep with Ms Pandora becuz shes evul" Gaol sed.
"Cool" I sed. So we all want back 2 manshun togetter. Wen we git 2 the manshun and Mistar Hum flued up.
"Pittoo u ned 2 stap brinen new pepple her" Matter Ham sed "espeshully withot dong the papatwerk."
"Master Handes ur such a ashol why do u hav 2 be that wei" I siad.
"Its ok Pittoo" Gaol sed "Ill do thes relly big hen thins paparwek."
And so Gaol left 2 do that. I went 2 the TV scren rom agen 2 see if the evul pepol wer up 2 anythin. Nane of tem new I cun c thar planes gest jos lik in the boobies. Ms Pandora luked sad.
"My bassie kaled oar franshap off becuz im evul" she sed.
"Thats ok we shuld probebly tell Lent 2 convarsin rap her into a strait persan aneway" Donld Tarnish sid.
"Yea go do thet now Phosphora Lank is prolly in Krakken Barrel becuz hes strait" Gad sed.
"Ok" Phosphora sed "I was gon 2 goto their aneway becuz ima strait 2. Wen Miss Wilson (shes not god enuf frens with Gaol 2 call her by her ferst nam) is compoltly strait shell go bye Ms Wilson becuz thats wat conservativ strait womens do and than shell giv Pittoo a F and rap him."
And so Phosphora laft 2 goto Cocker Boral. Son Tod laffed evully as he cleped his hams.
"Wile Phosphora gits Limk frum Cruckar Borrel I wil intadoos nue evul ligance so powarfol Pittoo will pup his paints" God sade. A cuple of knew fasis cum outta nowear.
"Whore they" Dong Tesodm qestoned.
"They r the twalve aeropastales hue sarve undar me. u aledy mat 1 of tem bean Palutena noa u met the rast" God asned.
"Halo graceus fatar" Hilia sade. She wuz alonsid her aposules Don Nayrm and Faroar.
"Its aboot bloody tim" Zunze said becuz hes britush and evul. Hes frum Sholks gam and wans 2 tarn the hai entei in2 tilapia.
"Explar the casmas" Roslinda sed. The onely rasin she wuz at manshun wuz becuz shes a smashur. Otdurwiz I wuld had tolled Mataurs Hasn 2 git red of her.
"Poaksmin" Arceiush sade.
"I m the devane dargne Nogau" Noagu said.
"Knuck knuck im knockles and dis her is the masur emurald" Knockles said (I no hes Sonacs frend but hes evul in this).
"Hello Sod. Nic 2 see u agen" Anakins said.
I was scarred agen as Geus revaled my neust anemas. I had 2 protract Gaol form becom a strait! Id stap her befor she got 2 Casker Baert but im gay so I didnt no were the neerest on 2 the Manshun was and evan if I did that plaec wold sertanly be fill with 2 many straits so I just had 2 protect Gaol by stayen neer her.
I want 2 tell everone abot wat I saw. Viridi and Clod and Fiona jonned me in protext Gaol frum been rap by Lenk.
Pittoo uploaded the finished chapter on AO3, hoping the "conservatives" and all of the other "narrow-minded" individuals didn't immediately start attacking him again. He still wasn't too sure why they kept bringing up the way he treated his brother despite him lacking knowledge that Pit knew about the story. While it was certainly peaceful not having Pit chat his ear off for these past two weeks, Pittoo couldn't help but feel empty.
Ever since that day he stopped talking to him completely, Pittoo was getting harassed left and right by various "conservatives", not just on AO3 either. They were even attacking him on Tumblr, sending him rude anon messages, telling him how much of a hypocrite and terrible human being he was to even crueler messages he wished to erase from his mind. Despite this, Pittoo tried to keep himself together but in spite of it all, slowly but surely, his composure began to gradually crack. He wasn't sure how much more torment and harassment he could even bear anymore.
As much as he hated to admit, Pittoo realized he probably needed to take a break from the internet for a while and at least go outside-or in his case, play video games. He can even start shopping for Viridi's special day if he wanted to, yet it didn't feel the same without Pit. Yes, he found him to be a complete nuisance yet without the company of his brother, Pittoo felt extremely lonely. It was almost as if he was barely liked to begin with.
His thoughts continued consuming him whole, flooding Pittoo's mind of the cruel messages people send him over the past few weeks he started writing his questionable story. He would never admit it but words do hurt, especially if one knew them to be true. There was only one thing he could do. He logged off his account and left his Chrome browser open before leaving the room. He slowly made his way towards his mother's room, reaching for the door as he turned the knob before stepping inside.
Palutena was fixated on a novel however she quickly placed the book down as her youngest son entered. Her gaze was fixated on him, recalling the last time Pittoo even stumbled into her room estimating around seven years ago, back when that sperm donor was still around. Palutena immediately picked up something odd, knowing Pittoo wasn't himself. Her motherly instincts went through the roof as she got up from her bed.
"Is everything alright?" she asked gently.
Hearing those words caused Pittoo to instantly burst into tears. He latched onto his mother, startling her as Palutena began rubbing his back while her son wailed into her chest.
"People won't stop bullying me!" he sobbed.
"Who's bullying you? Is this happening at school?" Palutena knew Pittoo was rather reclusive when it came to telling her anything. She usually had to either fork it out of him or had the unfortunate luck of one of his teachers calling her from school about his disruptive behavior or the inability to correctly grasp his assignments. Regardless of what they told her, Palutena always defended her children, even if Pittoo sometimes gave the teachers a hard time.
Pittoo nodded his head in response which was proceeded by a few hiccups. "It's happening both at school and online! I didn't do anything to them but people keep harassing me, calling me hurtful names and even told me to get off the internet!"
While Palutena consoled her son, Pit on the other hand, entered his bedroom and took note of Pittoo's laptop being vacant. Part of him was still angered by the story up on AO3 as he motioned his way towards his brother's computer. Luckily for him, the odds were in his favor as Pittoo set all of his passwords to autosave on Chrome. Pit managed to somehow decipher his password, jolting it down on a piece of paper before smiling.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind someone writing along with him," Pit thought out loud to himself. The boy beamed wide at the thought of trying to gear the story into something more legible, feeling happy that his brother's readers called him out on his bigotry. Soon he will have his revenge.