Chapter Twenty:

Ciao diary! I know I haven't written in you for a while. I guess I needed some time to recharge my 'writing juices' since I spent that one night writing nonstop. I also noticed that I haven't written about any recent adventures here in Indonesia yet either. So here they are!

Teaching at the Yayasan Balita Sehat centre continues to get better and better. We had one of the little orphans adopted into a nice family last week and more local children are coming regularly. We also had a lot of fun celebrating Pancasila Day with the children. This is an Indonesian holiday where the country celebrates the 'five original principals' in order to achieve national reconciliation, goodwill and wellbeing. We organised a whole lot of fun activities for the kids and invited a lot of special guests to an assembly where the classes put a play demonstrating Indonesian nationality, internationalism, deliberative consensus, social welfare and religious belief.

I am enjoying spending more time with Diana and Mary. They really are a barrel of laughs. They were telling me the other day the stories of when they were growing up together. Things like singing competitions between the two girls and dress ups. I foolishly told them that I had no brothers and sisters and that I didn't get to experience a lot of these things as a child. They got the teachers and some of the older girls at the school to have a sleepover in the main hall. The main event was the talent show that everyone had to participate in. Diana, Mary and I dressed up in colourful tops and sang Survivor by Destiny's Child. Thinking back, that song really resonates with me and what happened. The girls gave me a makeover, which really meant they covered me with any kind of makeup available in the centre. Diana and Mary did the same to themselves, but boy – did we look so silly. We learnt a few moves and just made a complete fool of ourselves. The others loved it and we had to do an encore later on in the evening. River happened to walk in just at that moment. He had his arms crossed and you could see he didn't quite approve of 'all the fun' we were having. I made a point of trying to include him in our routine, but he wasn't having any of that. He is such a party pooper sometimes and just watched us at the back of the hall.

River has been really off lately. I don't think things really got mended between us since our meeting last week. He only barks at the people and gives orders for things that had to be done 'right away'. He would spend most of his time in his office. Rivers wasn't that sociable to begin with, but at least you could have a chat with him at lunch time or share a joke during the afternoon. I kinda missed his presence when we did our football lessons. We would be captains of the two different sides and would send silly insults to each other throughout our game. He came out the other day and just watched us while we played. I came over and told him that the kids really wanted him to be the captain. "Come on and play Rivers. You scared my team will win? Remember the odds the last time we played? The loser had to buy the other one teh botol tea drink?" He shrugged and didn't say anything. I had to quickly go back to the kids, but he stayed under the trees close by until it was time to finish. "You are really good with the kids Jane. Good practice," he said as we all walked back to the main hall. "Thanks," I answered. What else was I going to say to him? He was being so cryptic.

"I found a new laundromat."

"Oh okay." This was so awkward and I was hoping he would open up a little. Maybe if I gave him some prompting? "I… I could meet up with Rosa and pass on a message if you like," I suggested. I was sure all this behaviour was because he couldn't see Rosa lately.

"Why would you do that? I don't have anything to say to her," he said a little more gruffly than was needed. He then walked to the direction of his office and no one saw anything else from him for the rest of the day.

I'll tell you something else that I found weird with Rivers this week. We took all the kids out one afternoon after school to the shops. We needed to grab some supplies and it was important for the kids to experience how the 'real world' works every now and again. We gave the kids in our care a few rupiah to spend how they wished. However, it takes forever to try and get the kids to use the right coins. And trying to get the younger ones to remember and say terima kasih once they had finished turned into a chore.

Finally, we had made all our purchases and started our short walk back to the centre. Rivers walked up to me, and without saying anything put a teh botol ice tea drink in my hand. "What's this for?" I asked. He shrugged and didn't answer. Of course, who noticed but cheeky Jaya.

"MR RIVERS GAVE MISS JANE A PRESENT! Cinta! Cinta!"

"Jaya, please stop yelling. You've seen Mr Rivers give me drinks before? Remember – that's what I win because I'm the best coach in the world? You are on my team!"

"But Mr Rivers didn't even play this week! It's LLLLLOOOVVVVEEEE! Cinta!" Jaya replied now skipping around us. He seemed to be over the moon with the thought of us getting together.

"Whose loving who?" Diana said as the two sisters moved to be a part of our conversation. Oh, why did it have to be those two that came over? But considering how loud Jaya was, I'm was sure that people in Australia could have heard.

"MR RIVERS LOVES MISS JANE!" Jaya stated with a big grin.

"Rivers… are you dating Jane?" asked Mary excitedly. The two were both beaming like two Cheshire cats. Those two really like gossip, don't they?

"Of course not! Don't be silly Mary. Jaya just has it in his head-" I tried to explain.

"BUT MR RIVERSSSS SAID IT LAST WEEK TO YOU MISS JANEEEE! I'M NOT A LIAR!" Jaya had stopped and was now yelling at us with every fibre of his being. I was starting to think this situation was beginning to get out of hand when -

"Jaya, that's enough," Rivers said at last. He had his grumpy face on and everyone knew that they had better change the subject… or else. Jaya was a little mopey for a while but was soon distracted when the kids started kicking a soft drink can while they were walking. Diana and Mary somehow got to the front of the group of kids and teachers and started whispering back and forth. It really put me on edge, especially how they tried to steal sneaky glances at Rivers and myself. I can tell you now it didn't work. I don't know what was worse – those whispers or the fact the Rivers didn't say another word to be on the way home.

Since then, I've been working hard to try to tell Diana and Mary otherwise. Somehow that was the wrong thing to do as they are now convinced that Rivers and I are deeply in love. Oh, the simplicities of life as a twelve-year-old and gossipers! I tried to explain about Rivers and Rosa, but those two just kept describing a stupidly elaborate, fantasy relationship that didn't exist. I rebutted them for some time but finally stopped as it just got too exhausting. Especially when they were telling me about 'glances' and 'passionate moments' between us that had never happened. Of course, this convinced them further that 'I did have feelings for him' and I just had to leave them with their own overstimulated imaginations.

I can tell you now diary that no way has Rivers thought about me in that way. I saw the way he talked to Rosa and the way he tried to meet her as often as possible… Well, before that stupid meeting with the administrators. Rivers was too honest to accept bribes and Rosa is the sweetest girl alive in my books. But… him buying me a drink was the nicest thing anyone had done for me for a while. It reminded me of a certain someone...

How stupid is it though that a boy giving you a drink meant that he liked you? I am not a high schooler for god's sake! I have felt real love and this really doesn't measure anywhere near it. Oh well. As the books say, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all..."