Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!
Flashback to the day Alice woke up- Edward's POV-
The screams had started to die down a few hours ago. I hated knowing I had no choice when it came to her pain. The tracker was good at what he did and anywhere I took her he could easily find us. The last choice I had was to turn her. I didn't want to change her this way. I had been hoping I had time before I had to do this. I had planned to speak with Carlisle and see if there was some way to lessen her pain. Maybe if we could have somehow numbed her nerve endings or even put them in to some sort of overload it would not have been so bad for her. If only we had time to figure this out. As it was I would be bringing home a newborn that my sire knew absolutely nothing about. He was not going to be pleased at all. Carlisle hated it if I kept secrets from him and this was a pretty big thing to keep from him.
"I love you Alice and as soon as you have turned I promise to marry you." I smiled as I thought about our future together. I knew she would be able to hear me even if she could not respond. Well I think she would be able to. I vaguely remember hearing Carlisle's voice during my three days of fiery torture. "We did this whole thing backwards. I know we planned to marry first and then turn you later on, but you are the one who is always telling me that the future can always change. I know I should never doubt anything you say. I guess it is going to take me a long time to learn, though luckily we have forever to get it right."
I could hear small thoughts in her head. Most of them did not make any sense and mostly she wanted to find water. The clearer her thoughts became and the quicker I realized her pain was almost over. I was glad for this because I am not sure how much of this I could take. I need to see her eyes even if they would be a horrible red instead of gold or her human eye color. She had the most amazing shade of hazel eyes I had ever seen. It's a shame I would never see that color again, but I know that I can get used to gold. If I had no choice then I would get used to red eyes if that is a route she chose to take.
I had thought long and hard about that and if Alice decided that living off of animals was not to her liking then I would go with her to travel as nomads. As long as she stayed happy then I could deal with everything else. Even if it meant going against everything I believed in to eat humans. Alice meant to me what Esme meant to Carlisle. I had never understood it before even though I could read their minds, but now I did. I understood better than I thought I ever could. Esme was Carlisle's Alice and that is why he had turned her. He could not bear the thought of living life without her even if he had not known her for very long.
A movement snapped me out of my thoughts as I saw my beautiful fiancée open her eyes. The shocking blood red of her eyes caught me off guard for a few seconds. Not because I found them horribly disgusting rather because they were beautiful. I never thought I would find that color to be attractive and yet I could not take my eyes off of her. I felt as if I could look in to those lovely eyes for the rest of time. If her eyes were this beautiful after the change then I could not wait to take a good look at the rest of her. There was no doubt in my mind that she was stunning.
My Alice had always been beautiful and this could only amplify the beauty that was already there and whatever may have been hiding beneath the surface. One of the first things I would have to do after getting her properly fed would be to take her in to a patch of sunlight. I wanted to see the soft white skin burst in to a variety of colors. I wanted to see her sparkle in the sunlight. They say that when you died you see a light and you should walk towards it. I wanted Alice to be the light I headed towards. I needed her to be that light.
"Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me where I am and why I am here?" My eyes snapped to the rest of her face. I was waiting for the laughter to come before she smiled brightly in that way which was uniquely Alice and kissed me. The laughter I was hoping for never came and all I received was a curious held tilt in my direction. "Are you alright? You look quite ill. Do I know you?"
That's when what was left of my soul shattered in to a million pieces. She had no clue as to who I was. This wasn't some sick joke. Looking in to her eyes I waited for a glimmer of recognition that never came. She truly had forgotten who I was. I was going to die or at least that is what I felt like in this moment. I was dying of heartbreak. It was possible to die of a broken and I would know considering I was going through it at this very second. Physically I would continue existing because I am immortal, but inside I would die over and over again. I would never be able to live this pain down. Every second would be a new wave of torture.
"You look you're going to cry." Alice always so concerned about everyone around her looked at me and reached out to touch my shoulder, but I jerked my arm away roughly. She was only showing concern for a stranger. "I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds. It was nice meet you and I hope that you will be alright."
"Wait, I-"I called out to her softly when she started to walk away. My Alice stopped to look at me for a few seconds as she waited for me to speak. I knew the burning in her throat must be killing her and yet she took the time to help me. That was only a brief thought in my mind since all I could do was feel hollowness wanting to take over every inch of me.
I wanted to tell her the truth so that we would be able to figure this out together. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her until she remembered me again. Then I wondered if maybe this wouldn't be better for her, a life without the one person who caused all of these problems for her in the first place. Maybe for once I should not be selfish. I should set her free. It would be better for her in the long run and if we were meant to be then we would find our way back to each other. I had to believe in that.
"Thank you for being so kind. I hope that you find what you are looking for." Then I was gone before she even had time to blink, running through the woods and away from everything. I wanted nothing more than to out chase all the emotions boiling inside of me. I wanted to run as fast as I could and never look back. If I had meant so much to her then why did she not remember me? I guess in the end I was not what she had been searching for all along.
TBC…
AN: I wrote this before I crashed and I was going to put Edward talking to Carlisle and finding out they are leaving, but I thought that would be best to do in Carlisle's POV later on. Mostly I wanted to show Edward's pain and I think I managed to do so pretty well. I do hope that you all liked this chapter and now sort of understand why he left. I will go more in depth later on in later chapters as well. I am taking requests so what would you like to see in the next chapter?
Please R&R like always!
