The appointment came faster than I expected. Every day since I found out I was pregnant had seemed to move in slow motion, but today flew by in the blink of an eye and now I was sitting in the waiting room with Logan.
His leg was bouncing up and down and he held onto my hand tightly. Seeing him so nervous calmed me. Yesterday I was the one freaking out and today he is. I was more excited than nervous now. I wanted to see my baby. I know I probably wouldn't be able to make out what it looked like, but just seeing something would make this all so much more real.
Finally the nurse called us back.
"Is this your first?" she asks as she brings us to a room.
"Yeah," I smile, "is it that obvious?"
"No, I just can tell the difference between the experienced from the first-timers," she smiles and hands me a robe. "Go ahead and change into this and the doctor will be in with you soon." And then she was gone.
"Do you want me to leave or turn around?" Logan asks and I look at him confused.
"You have seen me naked before you know? Its kind of what got us here" I remind him.
"I know I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"You're cute," I laugh and start undressing.
Once I changed I took a seat on the examination table. Logan comes and stands next to me and grabs my hand. He wraps his free arm around my shoulders, pulls me close and kisses me on the temple.
I'm nervous now and Logan knows it, his touch trying to comfort me. I don't know what to expect. Then the door opens and the doctor walks in. He's an older man I would say late forties with salt and pepper hair. Logan was surprised when he saw the older gentleman walk in; I'm sure he expected a woman, but this guy came highly recommended when I did my research.
"Hi, Rory, I'm Doctor Miller," he said reaching to shake my hand, "and you must be daddy." He reaches for Logan's hand.
"Yeah, I'm Logan," Logan answers shaking his hand.
"Nice to meet you two. So, how have you been feeling Rory?"
"Um, kind of weird. The morning sickness hasn't been too bad; mostly I just feel nauseas, never actually throwing up. I guess I just feel different. Not bad, just not normal."
"Well, that is normal. Women, especially in their first pregnancy talk about just an odd feeling, especially in their first trimester when they're getting used to the idea of a baby being inside them," he comforts. "Do you have any idea when you conceived?"
"Um, not really, I think it was sometime in the middle of January. I had my period that month, but not in February."
"Ok, well, lets go ahead and do an ultrasound and we can find out how far along you are and also, we can estimate a due date. So go ahead and lay back and I'm going to put this gel on you and your baby will be on this screen."
Logan, still holding my hand looks at me, his eyes full of excitement.
"Will we me able to hear a heartbeat?" I ask curiously.
"Depending on how far along you are, yeah. If you conceived in January like you guessed, we should be able to find one."
Logan and I waited with baited breath as he moved the wand thingy around my abdomen. Then he stops and a faint thump thump thump comes over the speakers. Tears come to my eyes (I seem to be crying a lot lately). I look up to see Logan's eyes shimmering with tears too. He looks at me and kisses me on the head.
"I love you," he whispers in my hair.
"So, that's your baby, everything looks good, he or she looks healthy and I would say you are about 10 weeks. Which means you'll be due around September 15th. Would you like a picture?" he asks and we both nod eagerly, "Ok, then, I'll leave you two alone while I go get that printed."
"I can't believe that's our baby," Logan says as soon as the doctor left.
"I know; it's beautiful."
"You're so amazing." He leans down and kisses my head again, squeezing my hand.
Seeing our baby on that screen, I fell in love. I never understood when parents talked about love at first sight, but now I understand completely. I love this little baby so much already.
A minute or two later, Doctor Miller came back with two pictures in his hand and gave them to us.
"So do you have any other questions?"
"Yeah, should she still be drinking coffee? I've heard that its not good for the baby." Logan asks and I glare at him.
"Actually, just try and limit it to one cup a day and the baby will be fine. There is no research that has proven anything specifically bad about pregnant women drinking coffee, but that's usually my advice just to be safe."
"What about pre-natal vitamins, where do we get those and which are the best ones?" Logan asks again. It's cute how curious he is.
The doctor gives us his recommendation and answers a few more of Logan's questions before he leaves and I get dressed.
"You sure were curious today," I joke as we're sitting in the car on our way to his place.
"I know, I just want to make sure we're doing everything right for this baby."
"I know; it was sweet." I smile adoringly and grab his hand.
By the time we reach his apartment I'm exhausted. I told my mother I had a newspaper meeting and then a project to work on with a group so I would be home pretty late. All I want to do was go upstairs and sleep in Logan's arms, but I doubt my mother would believe that I'm spending the night with some stranger from a group.
"I just want to take a little nap," I say to Logan as I make my way to his couch, "wake me up in an hour."
"Ok." He smiles and kisses me.
"Promise?"
"I promise."
I lie down and fall asleep the second my head hits his lap. He gently strokes my hair and I feel safe. I wake later with my head resting on a pillow and not Logan's lap. I look over into the kitchen and see him messing with pots and pans, cooking dinner.
I get up slowly and walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his chest. He lifts my hand and kisses it softly.
"I was just about to wake you up, I swear."
"Its ok, I needed to sleep a little longer. I'm just so tired all the time."
"I know, I'm sorry, I wish I could do something to make you feel better."
"No, its ok, that's just normal. Pregnant women are always saying how tired they are and I finally understand."
"Are you hungry?"
I nod, "starving."
"Good, I'm making dinner and then I'll drive you home."
"Logan, I can take the bus."
"I know. I just don't like the idea of you being on public transportation late at night, I never have."
"Fine, if it means I get to spend more time with you I can let you drive me."
"Thank you, it will make me feel so much better. Dinners almost done, why don't you go try and get some more rest and I'll get you when it's done."
I lie down on the couch but never fall asleep.
"Rory," Logan whispers, gently rubbing my back, "dinner is done, come eat."
I get up and sit at the table and he brings me a plate with chicken and vegetables and mashed potatoes. I immediately dig in because I'm starving. I just couldn't get enough food lately.
"You're not eating enough," Logan says worried.
"Its not that I don't eat, I just always want more and sometimes I don't eat breakfast because when I leave home I feel too nauseas to eat but then once I get to school I'm hungry," I say, my mouth full.
"Please eat more; if not for me, for the baby," he begs.
"Ok, I'll try."
"Thank you," he says and he starts to eat.
When we're done eating he takes me home. We don't talk much until we get right outside of Stars Hollow.
"What am I going to tell my mom when she sees your car?"
"Just tell her someone from your group gave you a ride home."
"Ok, I guess that works" We pull into my drive way and I know my mom is looking out the window.
"I should go in," I say and lean in and kiss him.
"I know, just remember to get some sleep and eat. I love you." He kisses me once more.
"I love you too."
I climb out and walk into my house
"Who was that Rory?"
"Who? Oh, you mean the car? Someone from my group gave me a ride home."
"Is he cute?"
"What makes you think it was a guy?"
"Nobody would drive you all the way to Stars Hollow if they weren't hoping to date you. I guess it could have been some confused girl, but a guy just makes more sense. So, is he cute?"
"Yeah," I say trying to find a way out of this conversation, "I guess, but I'm not really interested in him."
"Why not? You and Dean broke up almost a year ago, you should at least go on a date with this guy."
"Mom, I don't think he's interested in me, he was just being nice."
"Ok, if you say so."
"Mom, I'm going to bed, I'm tired," I say being completely honest with her for the first time in days.
"Ok sweetheart, I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast."
"Yeah."
I retreat to my bedroom, falling asleep the second my head hits the pillow. I wake up the next morning feeling nauseas, but not my usually nausea, I think I'm going to throw up. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach, which were limited to begin with. I clean myself up and start to get ready for the day.
"Hey beautiful," Logan greets me, kissing me on the cheek when I walk into his classroom. "Did you eat already?"
"No, I actually threw up this morning, I feel so gross."
"Aww, Rory I'm sorry. But look," he says gesturing to his desk, "I brought you food. I got danishes, bagels, muffins, and apples of course. I wasn't sure what you or the baby would want.
I wrap my arms around his neck, "this is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. You are going to be an amazing father," I whisper and kiss his cheek as he smiles. I walk over to the desk and grab an apple.
"Babe, you have to eat more than that," he begs.
"I'm just afraid if I do I'll get sick."
"I know, but you have to, for the baby."
"Fine," I say and grab a bagel angrily, taking a bite, "happy?"
"Rory, I don't want you to be mad at me, I just want you and the baby to be healthy."
"I know, I know, it's just hard."
"I know its hard on you, I wish I could make it easier."
"Just hold me," I beg and he pulls me into his arm. The bell rings and he starts putting the food in a grocery bag.
"This was really sweet of you," I say once more.
"Nah, I want to take care of you."
"I love you."
"I love you too, now take your seat Miss Gilmore," he fakes an authoritative voice, but I do as I'm told.
Class goes by slowly and I don't pay attention in the slightest. I just watch Logan teach and contemplate what it will be like to see him with our child. I picture him playing in the yard, pushing him or her on the swing, coaching their soccer team. He really is going to be the best father in the world.