A few days later:

Raven had tensing her body constantly the entire day… it had taken her awhile to realize that she was subconsciously firing off her magic nearly continuously, just to subconsciously assure herself that it was still in existence. Raw power running through her veins gave her the necessary strength and grace to hold up her walls.

She had so many walls.

There were the walls the kept her powers in check, the walls that held all her most painful memories in the back of her mind, the walls that regulated the amount of pleasant memories allowed to float through her mind at one time… and then there was the massively heavy wall that stood thick and tall, holding her most recent memories at bay; inches from breaking and releasing an ocean of pain and distain for only herself.

She made her way up onto the roof, her hands aching; it felt similar to unclenching your fist after keeping it closed for too long.

Every muscle in her body, coiled with white-hot power, burned and ached for release.

But there was only one thing she wanted to use this release for. She wanted to use everything she had inside her when she finally got her hands on Acwellan, when she finally gave him what he disserved.

And yet anything she could do to him would not come close to the pain he'd caused her.

"What are you doing up so early?" Robin murmured from behind her.

Raven jumped, he'd barely spoken to her since she'd returned… she could feel that he didn't know what to say… she understood how he was feeling, but that didn't make his rejection hurt any less, it didn't make her feel any less unwanted and unapproachable.

"I could ask you the exact same question." She answered softly, pulling her cloak closed but reaching across her chest to hold the gem which held it together.

"You know we would do anything for you, right?" He asked suddenly.

Raven nodded, all too vividly remembering when they risked their lives to save her, even when the world seemed to have no hope.

She remembered how Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy had distracted her father; fought the evil inside of them incarnate. She remembered how Slade himself had traveled with Robin down to collect what was left of her helpless self.

He sighed suddenly, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" what she couldn't figure out was why her voice sounded so dead and lifeless; maybe it was simply the early morning.

She could tell he was nervous but she couldn't figure out why.

"I haven't been there for you in the past few days… I'm sorry for that." He cleared his throat, "And when I look back at the way I've acted I'm ashamed, you disserved so much more from me and I realize that now." He gave a guilty smile, "Have I mentioned yet that I'm ashamed?"

Raven gave a little smile too, "Don't worry about it."

He reached out tentatively and pulled her to face him; he was only slightly deterred when she wouldn't remove her gaze from the sunrise.

He waited for her to focus on him and when she didn't he sighed silently.

He reached up and placed a firm finger and made her look him in the face, "I don't know how to help you… I don't know what to do," a desperate noise left his throat, "I did some researching and called some people… there are places you can go, people you can talk to about this."

Raven's entire form turned black as night in pure rage and she pulled away from him, turned back to glare into the sunrise, "I don't need that, I've been meditating a lot. Every time I go into my mind I address the injured emotions… everything is fixed."

Robin stepped closer and reached out to tentatively to touch her shoulder, and when she didn't shove him away it turned into a very gentle and continuous caress of her upper back, "Ok, I know you're a big girl, but I felt inclined to offer the same assistance and advice I would give any other person."

Raven nodded.

She couldn't decide if she liked his tender touch or not. She knew it was meant to be comforting and supportive but she wasn't sure if she liked being touched at all, especially in such an intimate way.

Robin felt that he hadn't actually accomplished much, but she seemed to be relaxed and that's all he really wanted.

He let the hand on her back slide up to her neck and then leaned down and gently kissed her temple.

The affectionate touch shocked Raven… she'd missed feeling taken care of by him. She missed feeling like this.

He was their leader; they all knew that he would do anything for his friends. She recalled all the things he'd done for her and felt very much loved.

"I am here, and will always be here to take care of you… you're my family and I don't like when people mess with my family." He kept an arm draped over her shoulders.

It was more touching then she'd ever allowed. Usually she wouldn't even accept a hug, let alone his comforting strokes. It dawned on her suddenly that this is what she needed… the faster she accepted this and moved on the faster she could go back to exactly the way things used to be.

But did she really want to go back?

"I know… I'm just tired." Raven mumbled and she slipped an arm around his waist.

"I won't let him hurt you ever again, neither of them." Robin promised fiercely.

Raven responded quickly, "The younger one is not an enemy; he's saved my life so many times I can't even count…"

"What does that mean?" Robin asked.

"Acwellan beat me to near death and then Gabriel would come and heal all my wounds." Her heart began to pound, "And then he went somewhere and Acwellan really did try to end my life… he succeeded and when Gabriel found my body he caused that explosion. The explosion that lead you to me…"

Robin nodded stiffly; he shouldn't have allowed that bastard near you in the first place, "I still don't like him."

Raven stiffened and Robin felt it, before she could be angry with him he leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple again, "Ok, ok… I know that I don't know him, but you can't blame me for not trusting him." He's just as responsible as Acwellan if not more.

Raven laughed softly, "I didn't trust him either at first, even though he never gave me a reason not to. He only showed me kindness and I treated him with distain anyway."

Robin squeezed her shoulder, pulling her closer, "What else did you do there?"

"There wasn't much do to…" Raven shook her head.

Robin gave her another encouraging squeeze.

"I spent a lot of the time incapacitated." Raven finally admitted, remembering the endless hours of simply laying there, doing nothing.

Raven created a bench just behind them out of black magic and nudged Robin to sit down with her. She was tired and sore.

"I thought he was supposed to heal you." Robin couldn't keep the accusatory tone away.

Raven turned her body towards his and crossed her legs, keeping her face towards the sunrise still, she was afraid tears would suddenly decide to fall without her permission. She wasn't sad of course, but lately it felt as if they were built up and waiting for her to let down her guard just a little.

"He did… but he can only heal on the inside, topical injuries don't just suddenly poof into thin air." She tried to keep the defensive tone out of her voice, she didn't want to feel mad, but she felt compelled to defend his honor.

"What about when we found you… every part of you was perfect." Robin questioned.

After a long moment Raven whispered in a plain, monotone voice, "I guess that's part of being brought back to life."

Robin took a deep breath and prepared to ask her something even more intimate, something she would probably be angry at.

But she was relaxing, he recognized that this was one of those rare moments where she was opening up about her emotions and feelings despite her instincts to clam up and shut down.

He knew that if he didn't ask her now then he'd never get another chance with such good odds of getting an answer.

"And he…" he could barely say it, "He raped you every time?"

Before Raven's conscious could process the question she had already answered with a nod and even added, "Except the last time." Thank Azar.

He used the hand draped over the back of her bench to brush her hair away from her face, "I'm sorry, does it still…" what was the word he was looking for? "Hurt?"

Raven nodded again but only slightly and looked down at her lap, her face on fire, "But… I'm ok, I'm working on it."

"I know." He chided her gently, "I know you can do many things, I know you're the most powerful among all of us, but that doesn't mean that you have to handle these feelings alone… and I also understand that I'm probably not your first choice." he blushed deeply, "I don't pretend to understand what it's like to be a woman, but you know that Star is always there for you too… she'd keep your conversations private."

Robin was shocked when Raven let out a soft chuckle of relief, "So she didn't tell you?"

Robin shook his head no in confusion.

"I told her… after what happen in the alleyway, and she really wanted to tell you, she really wanted to seek your advice. I guess she didn't."

Raven paid close attention to Robin's emotions and aura, she wanted to make sure he was telling the truth and not just covering for Star.

"Of course, she'd never go around blabbing something if you told her not to."

He spoke the truth.

They sat in silence for a long time.

Then suddenly several things were happening at once.

Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire busted up onto the roof yelling that a came of volleyball was needed immediately.

Robin squeezed Raven gently, "We'll talk later?"

Raven nodded and he got up, reaching down to pull her chin upwards, watching the sun cast across her pale face, "Chin up, it's a brand new day."

Raven smiled and he went over to play with the rest of the group. He and Starfire on a team while Beast Boy and Cyborg were on the other side of the net.

She dissolved the bench and moved over on the sidelines to meditate while refereeing the game.

She was perplexed…

Somehow he'd tricked her into spilling exactly what was on her mind… tricked her into telling him the details without her even realizing it. She was torn between embarrassment and relief.

But as she refereed the game she couldn't ignore the fact the Beast Boy continued to stare at her with an odd expression on his face.

It wasn't jealousy, but maybe more like worry. His emotions were too much for her though, she couldn't handle his feelings on top of her own.

"Rae, watch out!" Cyborg yelled as the ball hurled towards her face.

But instead of freezing up her gaze flicked to the ball and it exploded into a million pieces.

"Shit!" Beast Boy laughed and everyone else joined.

Raven reached down into the tower with her astral projection and found another ball; she called it to her human body and a few seconds later the new ball was placed in Beast Boy's hands.

"Make sure you bring that skill next time we head out to kick some ass." Cyborg laughed.

Oh. I. Will.

Author's Note:

Wah-la! I just thought I'd share that I've only gotten 3 hours of sleep in the last three nights, I'm exhausted... Goodnight :) Thanks for reading, the comments/reviews and knowledge that people are actually reading is very comforting to my often deflated ego :P

Have a Lovely Day!

-Kay