Hi Guys,
Apologies about this delay, after Christmas, with work and life in general my inspiration, went out of the window. When the muse is there she is there, but sometimes it is a real chore to write. This chapter and the second one I am writing was going to be one large chapter, but the subject matters are quite polar opposites so I felt the need to spilt them.
How you are all still putting up with me is quite remarkable and I hope to return to the regularly scheduled programme soon. Reviews are and always will be appreciated :)
As usual, the next update date is at the bottom, alongside any notes.
Happy Reading,
Sarah x
Chapter Summary,
As Anne's life draws to a close the whole family will need to gather its strength.
Both Eliza and Alexander awoke to loud banging on the door.
Normally they would have been afraid, but this midnight call was one they knew would arrive.
Alexander slipped out of bed and grabbed the Gaslamp, whilst Eliza hurried to make herself respectable.
Approaching the door Alexander called out, "What is your purpose here?"
"Alexander" cried, John. "It's me"
Swiftly unlocking the door Alexander let a frantic John inside.
"Why are you not with Anne" he demanded. "A servant could bring a message"
"I needed to come myself" panted John. "I need my sister"
"I am here" called Eliza, hurrying down the stairs.
John let out a sigh of relief and quickly embraced her, "Please Eliza you must come to her"
"I am ready" she urged. "Alexander, are you coming?"
"I will be of little help" replied Alexander. "I will wait til Ruth rises to care for Philip, then I shall come to you all"
Kissing him gently Eliza whispered her goodbye and Alexander watched them hurry towards a carriage.
John threw open the doors of his home and quickly demanded information from his maid.
"She is calling for you Sir" the maid exclaimed, "Ever since you left"
Eliza followed John as they hurried up the stairs, servants stood in wait by Anne's door, expecting a flurry of requests.
"John!" Anne called frantically, "Where are you?"
"Here my love" cried John, grasping her thin hand in his own, "I am here"
Breathing a heavy sigh of relief Anne called "And Eliza too, so good of you to come"
"I promised I would come whenever you needed me" replied Eliza shedding her cloak.
Anne held out her shaky hand to Eliza who took it and knelt beside her bed, "So good of you to come, especially with your baby"
"Philip is fast asleep" assured Eliza. "I did not disturb him I promise"
"No" breathed Anne, shaking her head. "Your baby"
Eliza felt a shiver run through her body, "Anne?"
"You are pregnant" smiled Anne, before a cough overcame her.
Eliza's eyes went wide and she looked over at her equally puzzled brother.
Once the coughing has ceased Eliza asked, "Anne who told you I was pregnant?"
"No one" rasped Anne, regaining her breath. "I just knew"
Eliza was speechless but John quickly added, "perhaps it is servant chatter you must have heard wrong"
"No" replied Anne. "Eliza is going to have another baby"
"Sister?" asked John. "Are you?"
"Y-Yes" replied Eliza. "Alexander was the only soul I told"
"Another baby" smiled Anne. "How lucky you are"
Eliza could do nothing but smile back, no words could form a reply.
A knock at the door broke the scene as a maid announced, "Sir the Doctor has arrived"
"Send him in" ordered John.
Doctor Ford entered swiftly, very surprised to see Eliza present.
"Mrs Hamilton, I see you have not heeded my warning, not even now" he commented.
"I go where I am needed" Eliza replied swiftly. "I ask you to respect that Sir"
Seeing no need to carry the conversation further, Doctor Ford ordered. "I would like to examine Anne alone, John, Mrs Hamilton, you will leave us"
"I will come back as soon as I can" vowed John, kissing Anne's hand.
John escorted Eliza out of the room and the pair sat in silence for several minutes.
"So you are with child again?" asked John.
"Yes" replied Eliza. "I have not made it public yet"
"A congratulation is in order I believe" he added.
Thank you" she replied. "How Anne has come to know is beyond me"
"Perhaps the Doctor spoke of it" suggested John, rubbing his sore temples.
Eliza nodded, "Yes"
"We have plenty of rooms, would you like to rest?" asked John. "I realise what the time is"
"The Doctor won't be long, I will wait with you" assured Eliza.
"Nonsense, he was with her for two hours yesterday" replied John. "Please get some rest"
"What will you do?" asked Eliza.
"Drink and wait" he sighed, "It is all I can do"
"It would do you good to rest" urged Eliza.
"I will rest when my Anne is free from pain" he replied, reaching for a canister of whisky.
"Do not drink yourself into a stupor" reminded Eliza, as she went to leave the room.
"I'll do my best" he replied.
Eliza rested for several hours until a familiar face urged her to wake.
"Alexander," she said, quickly sitting up. "Is Anne alright!"
"Doctor is still with her from what I understood from John" hushed Alexander. "But he must be finished soon"
"Anne is so weak" sighed Eliza. "I fear this is her end"
"We can make sure it is peaceful" assured Alexander.
"Yes" nodded Eliza.
"How is she?" asked Alexander. "is she still awake?"
"Very much so" replied Eliza, "She is awake and speaking, but -she knew about our baby"
"But we have not told anyone" replied Alexander.
"So you can imagine my surprise when she asked" cried, Eliza.
"It is not unknown for the dying to have premonitions" commented Alexander. "But I do hope it did not upset you greatly"
"No" assured Eliza. "I was just so shocked"
As Eliza rose out of bed a maid knocked and entered, "The Doctor has finished examining Miss Anne"
"Thank you" replied Alexander. "We will be right along"
The maid nodded and left.
"I cannot imagine that this news will be good" sighed Eliza. "I can only pray that John does not lose his temper"
"I'll keep him under control" assured Alexander. "I have some practice"
"Ah Mrs Hamilton and Mr Hamilton," said Doctor Ford. "Please come in"
"What is your news?" asked Eliza, sitting on the nearest chair.
"I am afraid I have no good news for you" began Doctor Ford. "Anne's condition has only worsened and her end is approaching swiftly"
The room sat in silence.
John stared at the floor, "How will she die?" he demanded.
Doctor Ford paused.
"Come along man" urged Alexander. "Answer him"
"It is quite probable that Anne will die painfully" confessed Doctor Ford. "her lungs are filling with fluid"
"Which means?" cried Eliza.
"She could drown in her own blood and waters, to put it bluntly" replied Doctor Ford.
Eliza's hands flew to her mouth at the thought.
"Jesus Christ" muttered Alexander, unsure of what to make of this diagnosis.
John fists clenched as he asked, "But surely you can stop it coming to that?"
"That is only one of many ways that Anne could leave us" reminded Doctor Ford. "The list is almost endless"
"Well, what is the best and worst case Doctor" demanded John. "I want to know"
"There is no best case John" replied Doctor Ford. "the worse would be a self-induced laceration in her throat or a puncture of the lungs, a result of the constant coughing"
"Doctor you are not serious?" exclaimed Eliza, horrified. "It will never come to that"
As if by some cruel fate a maid came running from the room in which Anne lay, distressed and pleading for the Doctor.
Doctor Ford lept to action and the others followed him into Anne's room.
Eliza wanted to scream but she made no sound. John's knees buckled and Alexander moved suddenly to support him.
Anne was coughing violently, blood dripping from her lips and through her hands.
"Everyone out" ordered Doctor Ford."Now"
John had recovered enough to begin to resist Alexander's attempt to remove him from the room.
"Anne" he cried, desperate to reach her.
Eliza's horror had ended and she wanted to be of any assistance she could.
"Alexander get him out" she urged. "He can't see her like this"
With the help of a maid, Alexander dragged John from the room but Eliza remained.
"Mrs Hamilton I mean everyone" called Doctor Ford, busily digging in his medical bag.
"I will stay to help" she offered. "For Anne's sake"
"Mrs Hamilton-"
"I am staying Doctor Ford, what do you need," said Eliza sharply.
"Get that bowl" he ordered, "use it collect the blood and anything else"
Grabbing what she needed Eliza hurried to Anne who was still heaving.
"Here Anne" hushed Eliza, urging her to use the bowl.
Anne took the bowl with one hand and with the other she grabbed Eliza's wrist.
Normally a blood-soaked hand clinging to her arm would have caused Eliza to recoil but she would never leave Anne now.
"Please" Anne rasped. "Don't leave me"
Eliza pressed a firm kiss against Anne's head, her actions making her promise.
"Here" ordered Doctor Ford. "Take this"
Eliza took from him a small vial of liquid and pulled the cork from the neck and waited for instructions.
"Mrs Schuyler, this will relax your chest," said Doctor Ford. "Please take it"
As gently as she could Eliza took Anne's bloodied chin and balanced the vial on her bottom lip. "Here Anne"
A weak hand wrapped around the vial and Anne drank the liquid, coughing as it travelled into her body.
"Very good," said Doctor Ford, motioning for the vial to be returned to him.
As Eliza passed it to him, he ordered. "Try and prop her up, she can't lie down now"
Grabbing all of the pillows on the bed Eliza tried to make Anne comfortable, but they all knew her end was close.
Anne began to slip in and out of consciousness and Eliza looked to Doctor Ford with alarm.
"It is the drug working" assured Doctor Ford. "She will relax now"
"John" breathed Anne, seemingly reaching out for him.
"I'll fetch him" replied Eliza but Doctor Ford stopped her. "Let's get her clean first"
John sat despairingly in his chair, a large glass of whiskey held in his shaking hand.
Alexander paced the room, unsure of what to do or say. The sight of blood and such agony was not unknown to him. He witnessed the same sights and worse all through the war. The whole event brought back the memory of his friend Thomas and his final moments covered in blood.
The pair looked towards the door as Eliza tried her best to cover the blood on her dress.
"She is ready for you John"
John rose quickly but his fear and grief betrayed him as he reached the door.
"Come along John" ushered Doctor Ford. "She can still hear you"
Eliza watched as he fell at her bedside, whispering through his tears whilst clinging to her hand.
Alexander pulled Eliza to his chest and she did nothing to prevent it. Holding back her tears was proving difficult but she knew she had to stand firm.
"That was very brave of you" he whispered.
Eliza shook her head, "I would never leave her alone"
"Mr Hamilton," asked Doctor Ford. "Might I have a word?"
"Of course" replied Alexander.
"Alone"
Eliza hushed Alexander's protests, "John needs me, you go"
Alexander followed Doctor Ford into the adjoining room and waited.
"I wanted a word, Alexander, as your wife despite my ardent protests continues to ignore my warnings" explained Doctor Ford.
"Eliza has her own mind, she will not leave Anne to this fate alone" reminded Alexander.
"Nevertheless" commented Doctor Ford. " I would recommend for her safety as well as that of her unborn child, your infant son and yourself that you take necessary precautions"
"Like?" asked Alexander.
"Try, despite the weather to get clean air into your body and dispose of the clothes you wear here today, get your maid to change any bedclothes for new ones and be wary of any illness that you would otherwise ignore" urged Doctor Ford. "if yourself or your wife, God forbid your young son would contract this condition I would not hold back my discontent. Whether you choose to heed my warnings is on your shoulders"
"Thank you, Doctor, your warnings are appreciated" added Alexander. "Eliza is very careful around this time of year with illness"
"I do not doubt that Alexander, but I would still advise caution" reminded Doctor. "Please do not let my warnings fall on deaf ears"
It had been several hours since Anne's violent coughing attack.
She lay in a somewhat peaceful sleep, still accompanied by an awful rattle each time she took in air.
John sat like a vigilant angel, watching and counting each breath she took, muttering to himself each time they weakened.
By this time Doctor Ford had retired to a room, there was little else he could do but wait and administer any further pain medication should Anne require it.
Alexander stood in the room by the window, watching as the sun was beginning to disappear behind the distance houses of New York, whilst Eliza sat opposite her brother.
"John," she said after a while, "Doctor Ford said that Anne can still hear us"
John's tired eyes looked up.
Leaning towards him Eliza whispered, "Perhaps now is the time to say what you must"
John breathed shakily, "I don't think I can"
"You must" Eliza replied.
Her eyes looked to Alexander who subtly nodded his head in his direction. For a moment she did not understand but it became clear in an instant. Her brother would not want to make a final declaration of love with his younger sister in view.
She joined Alexander at the window and they embraced, both turning away, allowing John as much privacy as he wanted.
From the corner of her eye, Eliza saw her brother's head turn and seeing they had turned away, finally began to speak.
Brushing hair from Anne's face John whispered, "They say you can hear me, I do not know that, but I need you to know how much I love you"
"From the start, I have been undeserving of you and no amount of repentance will ever allow me to forgive myself for the wrongs I have done to you. Anne, you have been nothing but faithful to me despite all I have done"
"I have not been the husband that you deserved-" he stopped to stem his tears. "I know the harm I have done to you and yet you never once raised your voice or protested my treatment. Your love and compassion for me go beyond my understanding-"
On the bed, Anne began to shuffle slightly, obviously in some pain.
John could sense resistance in her actions and did his best to calm her.
"Do not stay on this earth for me, it if is peace and rest you want then go. Go to the arms of our God and rest in the knowledge that you will see me again. Sit with our children and tell them of me and how much I long to hold them in my arms"
"You have given me your blessing to begin my life again-but you will be my heart's darling, always"
Anne's frame slowly grew calm and John placed a gentle kiss on her hands and there he remained for almost an hour.
Eliza sat opposite him, helping keep a watchful gaze on Anne's condition.
John kept repeating his vows of love but the sweet whispers were broken when he noticed that her breathing had ceased.
"Anne?" he called sorrowfully, shaking her limp hand. "Anne?"
Alexander leant over and placed his fingers against Anne's neck and waited for a pulse.
He gave a sigh and caught Eliza's eyes, before subtly shaking his head.
Eliza took a deep breath of her own and knelt beside her brother.
"John, she's gone" she whispered.
Trying to control his pain John chest heaved before the grief overwhelmed him.
Sobbing loudly he clung to Anne's hand, whilst Eliza embraced him.
Alexander placed a supporting hand down on John's shoulder before slipping away to summon the Doctor.
The rest of the evening was spent in a cloud of grief and despair.
Eliza had to prevent John from drinking himself into unconsciousness, as his pain was becoming worse by the hour.
Alexander assisted the Doctor with most of the legal documents, but as the date of the burial was discussed within John's hearing he protested loudly.
"I imagine she will be buried within a day or so" Doctor Ford began.
"No" called John, trying to get out of his chair. "She is not dead yet"
Fearing that this trauma had caused a breakdown in her brother Eliza was quick to calm him. "John please, you must understand-"
"I know my Anne" he paused before saying. "My Anne is gone, but to the world, she is still alive"
"She will live on in our hearts and memories John," said Alexander. "But she must be buried"
"I know" exclaimed John, angry his point was not being understood. "She will die after Angelica's wedding"
"What are you saying?" asked Eliza.
"I will not and Anne would not want Angelica's wedding tarnished in such a way" explained John. "How could she wear white in the knowledge that her sister in law is dead?"
"John I am not sure I understand" protested Eliza. "How are we to wear our light colours and pretend she is alive?"
"Anne will lay here until Angelica's wedding, that is my wish and I believe it would be hers" replied John firmly.
"Doctor?" asked Alexander.
"It is winter and bodies properly prepared can lie in their coffins for up to a month in the correct conditions" replied Doctor Ford. "As the husband, John can make such a request"
"Then that is what you shall do Doctor" ordered John. "Anne shall be buried after Angelica is married"
"So what am I to tell people when they ask of Anne?" cried Eliza.
"She is close to death and their prayers are appreciated" replied John. "Eliza if you won't do this for me, then for Anne"
"John-"
"Promise me Eliza" begged John.
Eliza again wavered.
"Promise me" ordered John, his voice hoarse.
"Yes," said Eliza finally. "I promise"
It was late in the evening when Eliza and Alexander returned home.
Ruth greeted them with a lantern at the door and hurriedly called them in.
"Oh it's freezing out there" exclaimed Ruth, taking the cloak from Eliza. "Hows is Miss Anne fairing?"
Eliza opened her mouth to speak with Alexander quickly replied, "Not any better I am afraid, John and the Doctor agreed that it is becoming too dangerous for us both to remain in their home, so we will only hear news from now on"
Eliza was a little displeased with Alexander and his ability to lie with such ease but thought that surely Ruth would be allowed to know.
"I'll keep her in my prayers" assured Ruth.
"Thank you" Alexander replied. "I think Eliza and I will retire now"
"Are you quite well Miss Eliza?" asked Ruth, sensing something was wrong.
"Yes I am quite alright" assured Eliza, taking Ruth's hands in her own. "Just tired, especially with the baby"
"Of course" nodded Ruth, "your room is ready for you, I am sure that rest will be the best medicine"
Eliza placed a kiss on Philip's forehead, happy that he was sleeping soundly.
Slipping into her own room, Alexander was busy undressing.
Eliza sat down at her vanity and stared into the mirror, it took only a few moments before the magnitude of loss hit her.
Covering her mouth and nose she tried to disguise her sobs, but Alexander heard them.
"Oh, my love," he said sadly, moving to her side.
"It is just so horrible" sobbed Eliza, "I should have done more for her!"
Kneeling beside her Alexander adamantly crushed this sense of guilt, "Elizabeth you did everything you could for Anne, do not blame yourself"
"But all those years Alexander" cried, Eliza. "Not once did I visit or ask her to join us at events, she lived in such seclusion"
"The past is the past" hushed Alexander. "What matters is now and you were by her side when she needed you most"
"She was so frightened" confessed Eliza. "All that blood and pain"
"But she is at peace now" assured Alexander. "In whatever capacity it is"
He brushed the hair from her face and added, "You have such a loving heart Eliza, I hate to see it breaking like this"
"She was such a beautiful lady" sighed Eliza. "I will miss her so mu-"
A fresh wave of tears accompanied a wave of memories and Alexander pulled her into his arms, trying his best to bring her comfort.
Even after they both retired to bed, Eliza could not close her eyes without her mind torturing her with Anne and more so with John.
What would her death do to him? Or what would his own mind wander to in each passing hour of despair?
Notes,
Yeah, this chapter was actually quite sad to write but rest assured that the next chapter will bring some joy back to it all.
So our Anne has died. I know some of you were beginning to enjoy her character but John's storyline could not move on with her alive.
As for her death, it is a little melodramatic, but you are here for the drama. I only hope that it doesn't feel rushed :/
As always, thank you for the support on this story and I hope to have an update up in two weeks :)
NEXT UPDATE - FRIDAY 8th FEBRUARY