Through The Veil Of Time

Chapter 21. Photographs

Ennis opened the closet door and took out a set of towels. He motioned with his head towards the back bedroom. "You can use this room," he said, putting the towels on the foot of the bed. "It's small but comfort'ble. It's got a nice breeze, good for sleepin'."

KE looked at his brother. "You sleep in here? That's what ya do when ya fight with em or somethin'?"

"We don't fight," said Ennis, his voice low.

"Don't fight?" challenged KE. "The Ennis I knew had a temper. He liked ta fight."

"Mebbe the Ennis ya knew grew up."

"Yeah, grew up and turned into a queer."

Ennis looked at his brother, his eyes as hard as steel, his lips compressed into a thin line. KE looked back, challenging him to say, or do, something. Long seconds passed between them, then Ennis spoke. "The bathroom is down the hall," he said, turning on his heel. "I'm goin' downstairs."

KE watched his brother's retreating back, then opened his small suitcase and pulled out a bottle of pills. He walked down the hall towards the bathroom, but paused to look at the photographs hanging on the wall. Goddamn pictures, he thought to himself, they're all over the house. But despite his negative thoughts, he continued to look at the photos, realizing he recognized hardly any of the people. There were pictures of men, women, smiling children, and little babies. One of a handsome young man in a graduation cap and gown with Jack at his side. Another of a family of five. KE looked at it closely. I think that's Alma Junior, he thought. Must be her husband and kids. Another one of Ennis and Jack, Ennis looking vaguely uncomfortable in a suit, standing with two women, each holding a bouquet of flowers. KE peered at it. That must be the queer one—Jenny. The one with the smart mouth at Thanksgivin' all those years ago. He wondered what the occasion was. It looked like a wedding. I know Ennis thinks he's married. S'pose he infected the girl ta think she could get married too.

He walked further down the hall and turned in a doorway, realizing a few seconds too late that it was the master bedroom, not the bath. His eyes swept around the room, focusing on the cherry bed, the wood now burnished to a fine reddish-brown patina. The blanket chest, the nightstand, the lamp, the clock—curtains at the window, flittering in the breeze. On the dresser—more pictures. KE stepped lightly across the room, feeling as if he was spying on something he shouldn't see.

These pictures seemed slightly more personal than the ones in the hall. Ennis on a black horse, Jack sitting on a rock with water in the background. One of the two of them, both much younger, sitting on the front steps of a house—this house, KE realized. They were looking at each other, Ennis with his arm around Jack's shoulders, Jack smiling up into Ennis's face. KE stared at the picture for long seconds, trying to dredge up a feeling of revulsion at the image of his brother with his arm around another man, but the feeling didn't come. The happiness that radiated from the picture seemed to be an antidote, however slight, to the feelings of bitterness and hatred that KE held in himself.

KE heard a step, and a breath, and turned to see Jack standing in the doorway. He felt like a kid whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar. "Uh, sorry," he stammered. "I ain't snoopin'."

Jack smiled at him. "Lookin' at pictures? These are some a my favorites." He walked over and stood next to KE, and pointed to the picture of Ennis on the horse. "He named that horse after me," he said conversationally. "Good ol'Twister. We still got em, but he's old. Ennis can't ride em like that anymore."

KE looked at Jack, then pointed to the picture with the rock. "Where are ya in this one?"

"That's Maine," replied Jack. "We rented a cottage up there a few summers ago. Beautiful place, ever been?"

KE shook his head. "I ain't ever been east a the Mississippi, and now, looks like my travelin' days are drawin' to a close."

Jack gave him a small nod, acknowledging his illness, then tapped the glass covering the snapshot of the two of them on the steps of the house. "This is the first picture we ever had a us together," he said. "One a the first pictures I ever had a Ennis. "Thirteen years we knew each other, and I never had anything ta look at."

"We weren't much for takin' pictures in our family. Cecelia said she wants one a the three of us…ain't got one, even from the old days."

"Well, I'm sure they'll be plenty a cameras at the party. Seems like everyone's got a digital camera and even cameras in cell phones…ain't like the old days where ya had ta take the film ta the drug store. Now just put em in yer computer and email em ta all yer friends."

KE paused for a minute, then pointed to a framed crayon drawing of two men embracing. "What's that?"

"That? Jenny drew that. I've always thought it was sweet."

"You do that? Kiss in front a her?"

Jack shook his head. "No, ya know Ennis. He's a private guy, he ain't inta kissin' and public displays of affection."

"Then how did she draw this?"

"She was a little kid, had an imagination. Still does—she's an artist, ya know."

"But," KE persisted, "how did she know? She was what…eight, nine?"

"Ten, actually."

"You two talk ta a ten year old 'bout queers havin' sex?"

Jack looked at KE, his voice level, his words measured. "No, a course not. We did talk ta her 'bout us bein' together, and why we wanted ta be together."

"And what did she say?"

"Not much. But I took this picture as a sign a her understandin'. That's why I framed it."

"What do ya mean, understandin'?"

Once again, Jack fixed his gaze on KE. "Bein' gay, and tellin' people yer gay…every time ya do, yer takin' a risk. Ya never know if they're gonna accept ya, or hate ya. This picture," he nodded towards the framed drawing on the dresser, "is my way a knowin' that Jenny accepted us, right from the get-go."

KE looked at Jack, digesting his words, then said, "Yer sayin' I hated ya."

"You denyin' it? Ya made it pretty clear what you were thinkin' 'bout us. Made sure the whole family knew."

They stood there in silence, the animosity between them palpable in the air. Then Jack gave him a small smile and said softly. "Ya can let go a the hate, ya know. Ya don't have ta hold onto it forever."

KE took a deep breath, then looked down at the floor. "Old habits die hard," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"They surely do," said Jack. "Ain't that the truth."

KE shook his head, then said abruptly, "I need ta use the john. I never meant ta come in here, pryin' inta yer personal stuff."

"Not a problem," replied Jack. "The bathroom's ta the right," he said, pointing.

Ennis came into the bedroom, wrapped in a robe and towel drying his hair. He smiled at Jack who was propped up in bed, then walked over to the dresser to pick up his comb. A small glass of whiskey was sitting on the corner. "This for me?"

Jack nodded. "Thought ya might like a nightcap."

Ennis smiled and took a sip. "Thanks. It's been a long day."

"It sure has," said Jack, sipping his own drink.

Ennis took off his robe and laid it on the blanket chest, then sat cross-legged on the bed, looking at Jack. "So…"

"So…things are shapin' up for a right nice party."

Ennis nodded. "We managed ta get through today without any fireworks."

"No fireworks, but we got a li'l firecracker. That Evan, ain't he a handful?"

Ennis chuckled. "He sure is. Cute though…wearin' cowboy boots and a hat. That kid is spoiled rotten."

"And we got Chrissie makin' goo-goo eyes at Bobby in the barn."

"What?"

"Ya didn't notice? I think we got a little romance bloomin' under our noses."

"Christ, and we got her stayin' here for two weeks?"

"Oh, yes," said Jack, "and I heard her tellin' her mother that she thinks this two week thing is a fine idea."

"Holy shit, Jack, I ain't sure I'm ready for this. Gettin' too old for this sort a stuff."

Jack put his drink down and ran his fingers along Ennis's arm. "Don't worry, cowboy, I think it'll all be just fine. Mebbe a few stolen kisses under the moonlight. I s'pect we can handle it."

Ennis smiled at Jack, loving the feel of his touch, watching his hand move along his arm, then onto his chest. Jack brushed his fingers over Ennis's left nipple, giving it a little tweak then gently twisting the ring that was there. "Oh!" said Ennis, his voice a small gasp of surprise.

"That hurt?" asked Jack.

Ennis shook his head no. "Doesn't hurt, it's just more sensitive than before. It feels good when ya play with it, actually."

Jack smiled at him, continuing to massage the nipple. "Ya know, En, I hope ya ain't too disappointed, but I don't think I'm gettin' mine done."

"Yer what?" said Ennis, not following Jack's train of thought.

"My nipple…I'm thinkin' I ain't gonna get a piercin'."

Ennis raised his eyebrows in a question.

"I've thought 'bout it, and I read that article ya gave me. I've even stopped in front a the shop a few times, but I ain't gone in. I just don't think it's for me. I like yers though…ya know I think it's hot."

Ennis looked at Jack and traced his finger's along his lover's jaw. "Well, then, I guess it'll be our li'l secret, huh?"

"Not really a secret, ya said Billy knows."

"True." He paused, then chuckled softly. "Mebbe I should take off my shirt n show my brother. That'd give his li'l ol'queer hatin' heart a thrill."

"Ah, c'mon, yer brother ain't doin' so bad…"

"He managed ta get in a few snide remarks ta me when no one was around."

"Like what?"

"Well, he made one comment 'bout me growin' up queer, then another 'bout the bathtub…asked if we liked ta fuck each other in 'our big fancy tub,'" Ennis said, his voice mocking on the last few words.

"And did ya say we do?"

"Fuck, Jack, no, a course not. I was about ta say, 'None a yer goddamned business,' but I stopped."

"And what did ya say instead?"

"I said ya had a bad back from yer rodeoin' days and ya like the whirlpool jets, it makes ya feel better."

Jack nodded. "That's the way ta handle him. We had an interestin' conversation, too."

"Ya did? When? Where?"

"In this room, actually."

Ennis gave a snort. "Fuck, what was he doin' in here? Snoopin' 'round, lookin' at our bed or somethin'?"

"He was lookin' at the pictures on the dresser," said Jack, nodding towards the side of the room. "He was askin' 'bout Jenny's drawin'."

Ennis didn't say anything, just waited for Jack to continue.

"I talked 'bout acceptin' people or hatin' 'em…Ennis, ya know, I think yer brother is strugglin' with what he's feelin'."

"How d'ya mean?"

"He's spent his whole life hatin' queers…and you in particular as his brother-the-queer. But…I think he knows he's dyin', and hatin' takes a lot a energy…and he'd rather use that energy for somethin' else."

"I ain't followin' ya, Jack. What are ya tryin' ta say?"

"I think he'd like ta change. Forgive and forget, mebbe, or just stop hatin' us, but he don't know how. Change is hard, 'specially when you've lived yer whole life a certain way."

Ennis nodded. "That's the truth."

"Anyway, my point is, not lettin' em get yer goat, just bein' nice…that's what we need ta do with KE."

"Ya think he's gonna be a diff'rent person at the end a this visit?"

Jack shrugged. "Mebbe, but prob'ly not. But mebbe he'll go ta his grave not hatin' his brother."

"Ya really think he's that sick?"

"Look at em, Ennis, he looks like death warmed over."

"Yeah…it's hard, I feel like I ain't had a brother for a helluva long time and now he comes back…only ta leave again…mebbe, Jack…" Ennis took another sip of his drink and turned his thoughts over in his mind before speaking again, his voice softer than it was before, "mebbe I ain't doin' my part in forgivin'."

Jack picked up Ennis's left hand and twisted the silver ring he wore. "C'mon, babe, give yerself some credit. He's here at our home, sleepin' under our roof. A lot a men wouldn't a ever even said yes ta that."

Ennis took the last sip of his drink, put the glass on the nightstand and slid down next to Jack, pulling him into his arms. He gave Jack a smile. "Have I told ya today I love ya, cowboy?" he asked.

Jack smiled back. "A few times, but not as much as usual. I think there were too many people around."

"You teasin' me?"

"Only 'cause I love ya."

Ennis looked at Jack's eyes in a steady gaze, rubbing his hands down his side, around his thigh, and then towards his front, grabbing his cock as he did so. "I think we started the day with a nice fuck. Want ta end it the same way too?"

Jack lay back against the pillows, surrendering himself to Ennis's touch. "Have I ever said no?" he said, his voice soft.

"Only once, and we ain't gettin' inta that now," said Ennis, rolling on top of Jack and pushing his legs apart with his knee. "Ya want it slow and gentle, or hard and fast?"

"I want it anyway ya want ta give it ta me, cowboy," said Jack, his voice husky, his face flushed.

"I think hard and fast," said Ennis, reaching for the lube with one hand, while stroking Jack's cock with the other. "I want ya screamin' for mercy," he said, his voice low and throaty.

"Screamin'?" said Jack. "We ain't alone, we got a houseful a company."

"Yeah," said Ennis, "and we're the what? The head a family thing, what's the word?"

"The patriarchs?" said Jack, his hips suddenly hitching up as Ennis gave his cock a rough tug.

"Yeah, that's it…we're the patriarchs, and if anyone happens ta hear us, then they need ta know that lovin' you is my only reason for existin' on this earth."

"Oh Ennis," said Jack, as he relaxed, and felt Ennis's cock penetrate him quickly and deeply.

"And lovin' you, ev'ry mornin' and ev'ry night, is how I tell ya…and in between, I tell ya with words…" He began to thrust rhythmically, pushing his cock as deep as it would go, feeling the contracting pulse of Jack's bowels with every thrust.

"Oh, Jesus…Ennis…" said Jack, his voice suddenly strangled, "oh fuck…"

"My only reason, my only reason..." Suddenly, Ennis was reciting the words as if they were a mantra, his eyes screwed shut, his hands pulling Jack's ass up and close, burying his cock even more deeply. Jack, in response, could only croak out an "oh fuck, oh fuck," and suddenly they came together, their words strangled and incoherent, Ennis falling onto Jack and then pulling him onto his side, covering his face and neck with tortured kisses.

Ennis took a shuddering breath, "Oh fuck….oh fuck….," then suddenly, sheepish, and smiling slightly, he whispered, "Do ya think we woke anyone up?"

"Well if we did, no need ta whisper now," but even as he said it, Jack's voice was low and quiet. "Ya think they heard us down in the camper?"

Ennis chuckled at this, continuing to kiss Jack on his neck, his throat, and down his chest. "I don't know, babe, and I don't fuckin' care, all I want is for the world ta know I love ya so fuckin' much I couldn't live without ya, you are my life, my air, my everythin'…oh God, oh God…"

Jack suddenly pulled back, holding Ennis's face with both his hands. "Babe, in a contest a love, I think this would be a draw…I love you, Ennis. I love you more than you'll ever know."

"I think I do know…," Ennis replied, brushing his thumb along Jack's forehead, pushing the silver hairs aside. "And that's why we're havin' this anniversary party."

"What do ya mean?"

"Ta let everyone know what a life a love can create."

Jack nodded. "Yeah," he said softly. "A life a love." He paused. "I love you, cowboy."

"I love you, cowboy," Ennis replied.

"I said it first."

Ennis winked. "I meant it more."

Jack laughed. "I told ya, in a game a lovin', I think it'd be a draw."

"Yeah, but I'm still winnin'."