Chapter 20

Big Bear Hugs

Ronnie was busily preparing breakfast, as Jack sat with Emma at the kitchen table. He was holding something just out of her reach, making her giggle and shout as she tried to reach it. Ronnie turned and smiled as she watched the playful scene unfold in front of her. It felt like a routine, like normality now. They had been looking after Emma for over three weeks, and they hadn't spoken very much at all to her mother, Tara, in that time.

Emma hadn't left the flat much, if it wasn't to go out of Walford. She seemed happy with Ronnie and Jack, and they were happy with her. But neither Ronnie nor Jack could let go of the feelings niggling away at them. At night when they lay in bed thinking, both were wondering how long it would last. In reality, Emma wasn't their child, no matter how much they loved having her there. Emma asked after her mother a few times, but Jack had been quick to reassure her that she was fine, and that she would come and see her soon. They had spoken once on the phone, but the conversation had been brief, much like all conversations with Tara were.

Ronnie had promised Tara she would help her sort her life out. And she had. She had enlisted Emma in the local pre-school, and Emma had had plenty of fun, after her early nervousness. She had not interacted with children her age much before, so it was very new to her. Luckily though, she soon settled in, much to Ronnie and Jack's relief. Tara had got a new flat away from her old life, and had been drinking less and less, clubbing less too. Ronnie could see that Tara had made an effort and that she loved Emma deep down. She was her mother after all. But as much as Ronnie wanted to help Tara, and for Emma to be happy, it pained her to see the progress Tara was making, when every step forward she took meant she was getting closer to Emma, closer to taking her away from Ronnie. Realistically, Ronnie knew Emma wasn't hers, that she didn't have the right to keep her, love her like a mother loves a child. It was just that she couldn't help feeling that Emma might just be better off with her, and with Jack. Who could say that Tara had really changed? That she wouldn't just go back to her old life? But Ronnie always knew deep down, that Tara was Emma's mother, and that there were few things that justified keeping her from her child, or from saying that Emma was better off without her own mother.

Pulled from the deep thoughts that swirled endlessly in her mind by a smashing sound, Ronnie shook her head and looked up. Emma was sitting, hand across mouth in an almost pantomime style, whilst Jack was looking at the smashed breakfast bowl and cornflakes scattered on the smooth flooring. Ronnie smiled and spoke quietly:

"Which one of you is responsible for this?" she said, in a tone of mock annoyance.

Emma hastily pointed towards Jack, who looked up in shock, with an expression that clearly stated: 'who, me?' Moments later Ronnie laughed and spoke again:

"Well then, you had better get this cleaned up then hadn't you, Jack? Honestly Emma, what will we do with him?"

Emma laughed and Ronnie smiled, taking in the pleasurable sound of the child's soft voice as her peals of laughter filled the room. Jack got up and moved around the mess towards the kitchen area, where Ronnie was leaning against the counter watching them still. He grinned at her, and she couldn't help but grin back – despite trying to uphold her pretence of annoyance. Jack walked towards her, reaching behind her for the kitchen roll, and as he did he whispered ever so quietly in her ear:

"I'm so very sorry; I'll have to think of a way to make it up to you tonight"

And as he leant back he winked at her, causing Ronnie to giggle. In a rush of love, she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning in to him with a sigh of comfort and familiarity. As the feeling of safe, of love, washed over her, she began to feel the worries over a few minutes ago disappear. Jack kissed the top of her head lightly, before pulling back and turning away to clear the mess. Ronnie held onto the feeling for a moment longer, her eyes closed, before opening them and blinking a few times in the daylight.

"Well Emma, it looks like we've just about finished breakfast, shall we go and get you dressed?" Ronnie said softly.

"Yes!" Emma replied, jumping down from her chair and almost slipping in the remains of the mess Jack hadn't quite finished cleaning on the floor. But Jack was quick to catch her from his position by the bin, just behind her, and he swiftly lifted her up into the air, swinging her above his head before twisting her around and giving her one of his special 'big bear hugs'.

Ronnie grinned as Emma laughed happily, and moved to join the two of them. Jack opened one arm and put it around Ronnie's shoulders, as she placed hers around Jack's back.

"Aww Emma, we love…" She stopped herself quickly, annoyed at herself. "We love having you here" she smiled forcefully, before stepping back.

"Now, who is going to be the fastest ever little girl to get dressed today? Is it you Emma? Is it? Go on then!" Jack spoke animatedly, watching as she ran out of the kitchen smiling.

Then Jack turned to Ronnie, who was looking out of the window, lost in thought. Her expression told Jack everything he needed to know, and he spoke softly.

" Come here, Ron."

And he pulled her towards him, wrapping his strong arms around her and kissing her forehead lightly, before holding her tightly. It wasn't like the 'big bear hug' he had given Emma minutes before, it was so much more. It was Ronnie's haven, it was Jack's haven. In each other's arms it felt as though their worries could disappear. Ronnie stopped looking out of the window and looked towards Jack for a moment, pulling back from his strong hold. Her eyes glistened with the moisture threatening to spill, and Jack ran his hand gently through her beautiful hair, before cupping her face with one hand, and leaning forward to place a delicate kiss on her lips. He didn't push it any further, but instead put his arms around her waist once more, as she leant in and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest.

"I love you" Jack spoke tenderly once more, "We'll talk about it later, okay? You don't have to worry Ronnie, you don't have to worry" He trailed off towards the end of the sentence, repeating the phrase almost as if to convince himself just as much as he was Ronnie. And they stayed there, for a few minutes longer, just holding each other, feeling the warmth and love of one another's embrace, before Emma was calling from the other room, and they broke apart, smiling. Jack looked towards Ronnie, relaxing as he saw her smile, and as she turned and began to walk towards Emma, Jack followed her, catching up effortlessly and wrapping his arms around her waist. Ronnie laughed as he rested his head on her shoulder, reaching forward to place a kiss on her cheek. She reached back to place a hand on his cheek, before pulling forward. He reluctantly let her go, and they walked through the doorway towards Emma.

A/N – Sorry it has taken me longer than I thought it would, it wasn't so easy to get back into it without a large bout of 'this isn't right' syndrome! I could not decide what to call this chapter, and ended up pondering and deliberating for ages between two titles! And mean teachers sprung surprise exams onto us Chloe xxx

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