Because, actually I've got no excuse for this chapter. It's a random mish-mash of requests...
Robin slept right through his normal 5 o'clock wake up. Sleeping in was what he needed. Not only wasn't he feeling great but also between the fever and the medicine, he'd slept poorly. He'd had some really weird dreams. When he woke screaming and then laughing uncontrollably until he started crying while sort of awkwardly smiling, he'd really freaked out Thor. The tired old dream of his parents falling had replayed.
He ended up laughing because Megan's influence had quite determinedly changed the ending. Instead of the ordinary gruesome end, a flying pink unicorn had caught everyone at the last minute, and flown them up to heaven. They'd waved bye-bye and blown kisses. *
Thor was driving Bruce insane.
"Thor a fever is his body's healthy response to illness. I know Natasha and Clint didn't run a fever when this hit them but he's five. His immune system is immature so it works a little differently. A fever is his body's first line of defense. It's nothing to panic over. And strange dreams are pretty normal with a fever. There is no need to be concerned about madness," reassured Bruce trying not to roll his eyes.
Peter called from camp when Robin didn't show up. After talking to Peter, Steve was upset.
Batman and Red Robin had discretely adjusted their patrol schedule to accommodate Robin's early morning calls. They were worried when he didn't show up. Batman was waiting on the transmitter when Tony blearily wandered into the workshop at 8:00 which would have been 3:00 in the morning their time.
After talking to Batman, Tony installed a microphone next to the transmitter and programmed Jarvis to respond if no one was near and contact someone in case of emergency. Apparently Batman had done something similar weeks ago. Tony who didn't particularly like being up before noon, left for his plane muttering, "Batman thinks he's soooo smart, put a microphone next to the transmitter, set up a computer answer service.. La-dee-Batman-la…. It's not even that clever."
This freaking summer bug is evil, thought Bruce. The utter nonsense everyone had already gone through because of it was bad enough. Natasha was enhanced. She almost never got sick. Shield panicked. It made sense that Robin would get hit with it as soon as he started playing with children his own age but that didn't mean Bruce had to like it. It had been less than fun being interrogated by Batman. Oh goodness gracious here came Thor again. Bruce ducked into the washroom.
Robin padded into the kitchen for a juice box at around 9:30 am. Auntie Tasha and Mr. Barton had already left to do spy type things and Tony had said last night that he was heading to Japan in the morning to take care of business with Ms. Potts. "Where are Thor and Uncle Steve?" Robin asked Bruce.
"I sent them to the gym to pound on each other for a while. They were being insufferable," explained Bruce. "What would you like for breakfast?"
"Oatmeal please," answered Robin. "Why were they being insufferable?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough," answered Bruce putting a small serving of oatmeal in the microwave for Robin. "Batman wants you to stop by the transmitter at noon and let him know how you're feeling."
"Jarvis can you warn me 15 minutes before noon?" called Robin.
"It would contradict my programming to wake you if you are ill," Jarvis warned. "I am to do what I can to keep you from harm."
"Oh dear," declared Bruce. "You're even going to be fussed at by the house AI." Noticing Robin was wearing his watch, Bruce discretely checked Robin's temperature on one of the many computer terminals. Bruce put another dose of fever reducer in front of Robin without saying anything. He watched as the boy downed it wordlessly. Bruce brought him his blanket, a tissue box and garbage when he curled up in front of the TV. Robin was back asleep pretty quickly.
Bruce went back to his lab to get some work done. Hopefully the child would get another hour or two of sleep before the mother hens got finished sparing.
After lunch, Robin found out what Bruce meant by insufferable. He'd had a nice long sleep. He was feeling pretty good at the moment so he wanted to play with his violin. Robin tried to explain matters to Thor who panicked because Dr. Banner said he'd need a quiet day and the violin wasn't quiet. Robin looked up at Thor incredulous. "But, he, um… that's not. It's not about volume."
Robin looked around. Bruce was hiding. Thor honestly looked freaked out. Robin slowly put the violin away, o-k-a-y.
Then Steve asked Robin why he didn't say about camp and getting lost and spending the whole day in wet clothes. "It would have been a good day for you to have someone who understood keeping an eye out for you and then there were the robots. Ironman had ended up dictating that email to Jarvis mid-battle in a last minute attempt to avoid having Shield soldiers pick you up. Fury offered when Thor was going to just take off and…"
Robin shushed Steve who looked distressed. "Here, hug Bear," Robin demanded. Robin had moved on. He'd lived with heroes most of his life. Evil Robots just happened. No good, rotten days just happened.
"Uncle Steve, I'm not sick because I spent all day in the rain. I'm sick because kindergarteners don't wash their hands, they sneeze on you and drink from your juice box when you're not looking and in general we're a cesspool of germs but because we're little we catch every stupid bug that's going around." Robin explained matter-of-factly.
Steve blinked stupidly. Looked at Bear. Looked at Robin.
It would have been fine if that was the end of it but they were like dogs worrying a bone.
"But I don't want another juice box. I'm not thirsty. No, the one blanket was enough. Don't you guys have bad guys to go fight? I don't need another pillow. I am fine! I just have to go pee! After three juice boxes a fellow's generally got business to take care of and I can go to the washroom all by myself!" Robin sat on the other side of the bathroom door and huffed in relief. Batman's 20 questions of fussiness had been bad enough but Thor and Steve were overwhelming. Robin could hear them fussing on the other side of the door.
"He's pale," observed Thor.
"But he's flushed too," added Steve.
"How can you be pale and flushed? Isn't that twice as bad?" Thor wanted to know.
"I wonder if I should get him some vapor rub. Ma used that on me when I was young and feeling poorly. Maybe milk of magnesia?" asked Steve.
"Milk of Magnesia is used to treat indigestion," corrected Jarvis. "With the quantity of juice he has consumed it would be very diuretic."
Bruce came and quietly knocked on the bathroom door. "Are you going to the washroom or are you hiding?" he asked quietly.
"They broke the window in the lounge when they were fighting over whether I needed fresh air or should be out of the draft," explained Robin.
"A lot of stuff gets broken around here," agreed Bruce.
"Thor wanted me to drink this garlic, beet and lichen broth."
"He's never been sick a day in his life," reminded Bruce.
"I don't like the soggy wash cloth."
"Steve's old fashioned. It's what he knows," explained Bruce.
"Thor freaked out when I wanted to play cards"
"I think that would be a Gotham villain issue," proposed Bruce.
So Bruce took Robin into the infirmary locked the door and they colored, played cards, danced hip hop to a few tunes until Robin was pleasantly tired and felt like another nap. Bruce looked over at the research he was supposed to be working on. Oh well. Since he was pretty sure Thor and Steve could handle it if Robin just wanted to nap, he unlocked the infirmary door and Robin sneaked off to nap in front of the television. If you couldn't nap in front of the television when you were sick you were doing it wrong.
Bruce turned around to go get some real work done on his research. Uh, oh, Thor and Steve… Bruce looked at the crayons, and cards still scattered over the floor.
"I'm sure I heard you croaking out 'Better When I'm Dancing' and thumping around with Robin. I thought you said he needed a quiet day?" accused Thor.
"He normally spends hours sparing, dancing, flipping, swinging from assorted objects and climbing anything he can find. He spent 15 minutes dancing. Kids are pretty good at listening to their bodies," Bruce meekly tried to explain.
"If he gets worse I'm holding YOU responsible," Thor threatened.
"Why'd you lock us out?" asked Steve. "We were really worried."
"The window in the Lounge is insecure and Robin is in that room," reported Jarvis.
:::::::::::::::::
Dr. Bruce Banner had reluctantly explained that Robin was likely to get worse before he got better. Just what Batman and the world's fussiest heroes needed to hear thought Robin hiding behind Bear because everyone was staring at him. He stared at the transmitter.
Batman explained to Robin that he was going to be out of town for a few days. He could call when he was feeling up to it; it just might take a little while for someone to answer the transmitter.
Robin knew Batman using the wording "out of town" was code for going on a mission. Robin wondered if Batman was really going "out of town" or if it was a ploy to make him stay in bed or if it was a double bat-ploy and Batman was doing both things, a mission and trying to make him stay in bed. Robin glared at the transmitter then hugged Bear and turned to go to bed.
"Extra air hugs then in case we don't talk for a while, night," Robin croaked coughing.
"Kiddo you sound awful." Robin heard Batman/Bruce softly whisper. The gravely voice changer did a poor job of hiding that Bruce was talking and not Batman.
The next day Robin got bored really fast. Various Avengers played games with him and put up with the tiny violin and did math problems? What kid did math problems for fun when they were feeling sick?
Thor needed something to do that gave Robin a little breathing room so Dr. Banner gave Thor a list of pediatric items to add to the infirmary so that it would be fully stocked in case of any emergency then sent him shopping. "What are popsicles? Will these be at the medical supply facility?"
Bruce discovered their young friend loved chemistry too. Robin sat on the floor of his lab washing old beakers in a basin of soapy water.
"What are you making this time?" Bruce asked.
"Adhesive pomimer," Robin answered.
Bruce smiled but didn't point out it was pronounced polymer.
Chemistry had been a bad idea. Bruce's afternoon was spent wiping Robin's nose as everyone that was home tried to chip the boy free from a giant ball of pink polymer.
"I have to go pee-pee" Robin whined getting a little desperate.
Peter stopped by to visit Robin. ** The smoke bombs had been amazing. Robin had seemed an odd mix of teenager, little kid, awesome and trouble. They'd just connected. Peter found that a little embarrassing considering Robin was five. He wanted to know how the little guy was feeling. Jarvis let him in and directed him up to the lab.
Peter's eyes widened at what he found. The first words out of his mouth were, "Can this stuff be chemically deactivated?" Peter immediately started giving the formula a quick once over.
"I don't remember," moaned Robin miserably. "Probably."
Thor came back from his shopping trip. "What foolishness have you wrought upon my sick child?" Thor demanded of Bruce looking alarmed.
"I sneezed when I was adding the last ingredient and this happened!" Robin explained morosely. Only his head and shoulders were free. The rest of him was encased in a bubbly mound of pink foam. "ACHooo!"
A seriously embarrassed emergency call was put in to Batman who gave them the formula to deactivate the polymer. If you could hear eyes rolling over a transmitter… Batman didn't call them idiots like Fury would have but somehow he didn't need to resort to insults. He just asked really basic questions. His voice dropped deeper with every answer.
"So you aren't familiar with that polymeric formula but thought it was an appropriate experiment for a young child?"
"You don't know how to deactivate it?"
"Robin why weren't you adding the ingredients behind a fume hood or containment shield?"
"Robin do you even remember protocols for measuring out ingredients?"
"Measure the critical or dangerous ingredients into a separate container. Reseal the original container then proceed." Dr. Banner and Peter recited in tandem. Bruce Banner was completely mortified by this whole situation. Robin was astonishingly capable, intelligent and self reliant until suddenly he wasn't. You had to be so careful not to forget that he was, at his core, a five-year old.
"Did Robin do that? Robin did you?"
Robin started hiccupping in distress. He really didn't like getting in trouble with Batman. Hiccupping while stuck in adhesive polymer foam was uncomfortable.
"Do you realize what would have happened if it had engulfed his head?"
Robin free at last, bathed, in new pj's, and dosed with medicine, fell asleep on the sofa after five minutes playing Mario Kart with Peter.
"Good call on the chemical deactivation," praised Bruce tiredly.
"Your assistance was timely and welcome," added Thor.
"I'm going to head home. I think he's done for the night even if it is only five o'clock," spoke Peter ruffling his hand through Robin's hair. Though he wondered who Batman was, he knew better than to ask too many questions when you were a guest at what was essentially Avengers headquarters.
"You should come back when he's actually free to play," snickered Clint.
"Dude that pun was terrible. How about I'll leave my game system here and come back and play with him a little tomorrow," offered Peter. Robin had been thrilled to see Peter.
Monday night Tony was back. He was working late in his workshop still stuck on Japan time. Robin who'd been coughing so much he'd gotten up to get a drink, came to check out what he was doing and fell asleep in the big old office chair. Tony put a blanket over him and left him there because he seemed to be breathing easier and coughing less sitting up. He headed off to bed at around 3 am.
"Jarvis, dim the lights but keep an eye on him okay?"
About half an hour later, "Hey?"
Robin woke to a gruff stranger's voice from the transmitter.
"Hello?" the stranger called.
Robin coughed and answered, "Hello. Who is this?"
"I... I just wanted to check that things were okay over there. There was some trouble on this side and I just… I was just checking." It sounded like a young man's voice to Robin.
"It's quiet here," answered Robin sleepily. "What happened?"
"The… the Joker. Nobody is hurt. Well, no one that counts. The Joker might have a slug or two of lead in him but even he cleared out and honest the son of a b- b- gun is still breathing. He had this plan and well… I couldn't let him. He's already killed one Robin. He's not Fu-ssing with another on my watch." The voice was both aggressive and defensive.
"Who are you?" asked Robin coughing.
"That's a nasty sounding cough."
"Aren't you going to tell me who you are?" Robin asked. "It doesn't have to be your real name. What would you like me to call you?"
There was a soft huff from the other end of the transmitter and a long silence. "Just call me J." ***
"Jay? Okay. I'm Robin! We both have bird names that's fun."
"I kinda guessed who you were. This whole thing with you is like the worst kept League secret ever." Jay's voice was deep, rough and very tentative like he wasn't sure he should be speaking, and he didn't want anyone hear him.
"What did Joker do this time? He's got to be stopped. First I find out he killed my brother who I never got to meet and my very best girl friend can't walk because of him? Uh…" Robin at five was not as good as he once had been at identity secrets.
"You're too little to have a chick." Jay whispered with a snort.
"I wonder what my brother was like," spoke Robin trying to change the subject. He'd meant friend who was a girl not girlfriend, hmph the nerve of some people. The brother thing was a rhetorical question but Jay answered.
"He was rough around the edges but he tried so f-antastically hard. There was no pleasing the Bat who was like this big ass-tronomical legend. Bats most of the time wouldn't even look at him."
"Maybe it was the uniform?" suggested Robin. "I think if my brother was going to work with Batman he should have gotten to pick his own name and design a costume and well, that stuff's fun and the nights are hard work. A guy earns being looked at and seen as his own person."
Jay stuttered brokenly "I,… he dyed his hair and cut it to look like …"
"He needed to be his own person. I'm sure it was a pretty awesome person. He must have shone very brightly in someway, if Batman could see him at all in the darkness he must have been in, those first few years." Robin had heard the slip up but dared not ask to confirm what he thought.
"Listen kid. You gotta tell Batman to check the Boomtube really carefully. I followed him, eh Joker that is, all the way here to New York and I don't know that he has done anything but just make sure Bats checks okay."
"You're not going to talk to him?" asked Robin confused.
"He shoulda… He should have killed that S.O.B. Joker. I got nothing to say to him." Jay declared bitterly.
"Joker's been trying to remake Batman in his own image forever. The Joker would be so happy if Batman killed him. It would give the criminals so much power. Batman would loose all credabibity and he'd become what he's tried his whole life to escape," Robin answered.
"That's not good enough. He needs to end. Joker needs to end."
"Die? He's become a Gotham anti-legend. He's this big horrible thing and everyone gets so wrapped up in him. I can't stand it. The only thing I can think that would help would be if he died in some boring and dumb way that nobody could say had anything to do with justice, crime or drama. He should choke on a hotdog or have an amourism."
"Fall is love with himself and die? I think you mean aneurism," some of the bitterness had fallen away from the voice in the darkness. It sounded tentatively fond.
There was silence between them for a long while then Robin kind of whimpered.
"Kid?"
"He's scary and it's dark and quiet and really, really late. I'm so cold."
"I was told Robin was fearless," Jay whispered gently.
Robin fell to coughing for a long while. There was a dull thud as Robin fainted.
"Kid, are you okay? Baby Bird?"
"Robin is in need of medical assistance. He is located in the work shop," Jarvis announced over the general address system. The dispassion of his address gave him away as a computer.
The voice on the other side of the transmitter was silent but if the Avengers had been listening for it when they came for Robin, if the connection was good enough, they might have heard breathing.
When Robin woke up in his own bed. He groaned as he realized the soggy washcloth was back.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
"I need a status report," demanded Batman gruffly.
Robin giggled, "I'm getting better."
"Failure is not an option."
"Sir, Yes Sir!" Robin saluted and then sneezed.
"Bless you," Batman ordered in a deep scary growl.
Robin giggled again.
"I don't really need to tell you to double check the Boomtube, do I?" Robin asked for he knew Batman too well enough to assume all communications over the Tesseract frequency were recorded and monitored.
"No."
"Does Red know?"
"Robin, he's dangerous," warned Batman.
"It sounded like he needed a friend," protested Robin, but Robin let it drop for now. The connection was not secure and if Batman was making sure Red didn't even know the second Robin was alive, it was probably far too complicated to hope to understand a universe away and trying to keep from spilling secrets.
Don't tell me I don't listen to my reviewers when I can.
*BabyRainbowBunny (One flying unicorn as per order)
**TimeforMoo, Fangirlnerd001 (I feel like there were more folks requesting more Spidey sorry if you're not listed)
***Princess Of Flames (Jason as per request, to the rescue and trying very hard and very awkwardly to mind his language around a little kid.)