song: Alborosie - Kingston Town

"I still can't believe that you won the Underdome and Moxxi tried to get out of the deal by offering you a shit ton of loot." I said shaking my head, as I was reloading my rifle. It had been a good while since I had that talk with Lilith and also since I had last seen Mordecai outside of the Underdome.

"Well, she can be really stubborn, I suppose." Mordecai answered. I raised an eyebrow. That didn't sound much like the Mordecai I knew. At this stage I was almost certain that he was the most whipped person in the universe. And that was in no way healthy in a relationship.

"So what's it like?" I asked.

"What's what like?"

"Dating Moxxi."

"Uh... I'm not sure. I mean, I guess 'intense' would be the right word, but then again it's more like doing jobs for her and getting paid with sex. But I'm not complaining." he said with a quiet sigh.

"To be fair, you kinda are complaining."

Mordecai sighed again and fired a shot at one of the skags. I wasn't sure how to feel. I mean, I felt kind of triumphant, because hadn't I called it? But I also felt sorry for Mordecai and I was worried about him.

"Let's just focus on getting this gun for her, okay?" he said. I nodded slowly. It was like we both knew there was something up, but we both didn't want to talk about it, because it meant Mordecai was wrong about this whole relationship and it would be my fault he even got that far. And neither of us wanted to admit that.

"Okay, uh... so how's Bloodwing doing?" I asked, trying my best to be inconspicuous about the topic change. Which was difficult, because in all fairness, Mordecai looked... stressed. And unhappy.

"She changed sex a few weeks back."

"What?"

"She changed se-"

"I heard you, I meant what the fuck? How does a bird change sex?" I asked. That was really confusing. I had never heard of anything like that, but I also didn't know much about birds. Mordecai just shrugged.

"I dunno."

"But... I'm so confused. Is this a thing you made up to pull my leg or something? How do you not know?"

"I just don't. I had Tannis have a look at Blood, and she said that she had just changed sex, so now Bloodwing is a girl. Apparently there are some birds who do that at some point in their life. I mean, I didn't question it, Tannis might be slightly insane, but she still knows what she's doing. Kind of."

"Wow... so wait. What species is Bloodwing?"

"I dunno." Mordecai said, shooting the last skag and getting up so we could continue on our search for Moxxi's lost gun.

"How is poor Bloodwing still alive at this stage, Mordy?"

"Oh, my girl can absolutely look after herself if she needs to. I'm 110% sure of that." he said shouldering his sniper rifle.

"That's cute." I remarked, following him through the arid desert landscape. The sun was slowly setting already and we weren't even close to the bandit camp, where Rubi was supposed to be.

"What is?"

"You calling Bloodwing your girl."

"Oh. Seemed appropriate. I mean, she is my girl." Mordecai said, looking up into the sky at Bloodwing, who gave a small caw. Mordecai smiled and then sighed again. There seemed to be something bothering him.

"What's up, Mordecai? You don't look happy. Like, at all."

"Moxxi doesn't like me spending so much time with her. I don't think she really gets how long Blood and I have been together already." he said, sounding a little sad. Oh boy, this was going to be rich.

"Why doesn't she like it?"

"She thinks I'm not giving her enough attention. Do you think she's right?" he asked and kicked a rock that was in his way.

"I don't know. How much attention do you give her?"

"I spend a lot of time with her. When I'm not busy doing stuff for her. I honestly don't know what else she wants. Thought you might know, you know, being a woman and all." he explained.

"I don't really know what to tell you here, man." I answered. I sort of had an idea where this might be going, but I wasn't sure if this was what Mordecai wanted to hear right now. He seemed frustrated enough.

"Well, what do you think?"

"From what I know of Moxxi... she likes attention. She is used to it. Abnormal amounts of attention. She's had a pretty rough life until she started up her bars and her arenas. And she gets bored really easily. I've got no real advice for you, though, Mordy. Either you live with her nagging and she might break up with you at some stage or you do whatever she wants. But you don't seem to be happy with either of that, are you?"

"I don't know. I really have no idea what is going on. Things seemed to be fine at the start and all, but she's constantly nagging and asking me to get her stuff and wants more attention."

"Look, I guess what I'm saying is that Moxxi is used to getting a lot of attention and she'll always want that much attention from anyone. Whether that's a bad thing or not, I don't know. She also gets bored very easily. I mean, why did you think she has had three husbands?", I explained.

"Yeah, I know. I just... Blood has been with me from the very start and I couldn't just leave her alone. And Moxxi doesn't seem to want to get away from Pandora either, I mean, I don't know what else to do."

"Have you asked her to run away with you?"

"Several times."

"Wow. Uh... Sorry, I guess? Man, that's a real bummer, dude.", I said. Wow. This sounded pretty bad. I actually felt really bad for Mordecai. He seemed to put so much effort into this relationship, but Moxxi... well, she was Moxxi. If I had grown up on Pandora, I probably would be the same. Hell, I was the same before I got here. To think I hurt people like that made me feel really guilty.

"Yeah, it is." Mordecai answered with a sigh.

"Hey, if you wanna run away, I'd be game." I replied with a grin and slapped myself mentally at the same time. Mordecai looked over at me and laughed a little, shaking his head.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." he said and focussed on his surroundings again. I felt a little bad for saying that. I mean, his relationship with Moxxi wasn't really my business anymore.

"Any other news?" I asked him. What a ninja topic change.

"Lemme think. Not too much... well, did you know that Lilith finally got it on with Roland?" he said.

"She actually made a move?"

"Sort of. I kinda made a move for her. Told Roland he should take her out. Like, on a date, not with a gun." Mordecai answered, grinning a little.

"Oh my God. Does Lilith know that you told him?"

"No. I'd be long dead, if she knew. I made Roland promise that he'd never say a word to her 'bout it." he replied, a big grin on his face now.

"Shit, if she ever finds out you're still dead. But... was Roland into Lilith all the time anyways, so? Or did things just kind of happen after you mentioned it to her?" I asked. I was actually really happy for Lilith, I mean considering how she was into Roland right from the start.

"No, he already had a thing for her. I think he told me at some stage, I just never figured he couldn't take a hint. And Lilith dropped many of them." he said.

"Cool. So they're both happy?"

"Definitely. I think they're planning some sort of holiday together, they wanna go to the moon or something like that."

"Wow, that sounds pretty neat. You've ever been to Elpis?"

"No. And I don't think I'd wanna go. At least not for a romantic holiday or some shit like that." he answered.

"Where would you wanna go for a romantic holiday?" I asked. I had no real idea what Elpis looked like and what kind of stuff you could do there, so I was fairly curious. All I knew was that there was apparently a strong Dahl presence.

"No idea. Somewhere with trees or something. Somewhere green, maybe. But then again, the desert ain't too bad, either. As long as it's not a huge dump and as long as it's not blazing hot outside." he said.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. I wonder what Elpis is like, though."

"Well, from what I've heard it's pretty hostile. It's apparently really cold and you need one of those oxygen kits to go outside or you won't be able to breathe. But I guess there'd be some nice landscapes and such. Maybe some cool alien plants. As far as I know there's only one major city there. Granted, not as much of a dump as New Haven, but still bad enough." Mordecai said.

"Sounds alright, I guess. Not very romantic, though. But I guess there's not many other pla-" I replied, when Mordecai suddenly stopped me from walking (and talking). I looked at him, slightly annoyed that he was breaking my flow, but then I realized where we were. Right in front of the bandit camp.

"We're here." he said, a smug grin on his face.