Deidara was walking down the hallway, when Hidan rudely opened a door in front of him. "Oh, sorry," he sneered sarcastically. He looked Deidara over. "My, my, my, finally lost that arm for good? Must be difficult, you whore-" Deidara pulled back and punched Hidan's face, no rational thought connect the action to Deidara's mind. Hidan's head, surprisingly, flew off. Deidara smirked, kicking the head behind him and into Itachi's room, closing the door.
"My, my, my, finally lost that head of yours? Not like you were using it, though," Deidara easily ducked Hidan's poorly aimed punches and skipped down the hall, grinning.
"Damn it, Deidara! I'm going to fucking kill you!"
"Jeez Hidan, don't loose your head!" Deidara called back down the hall.
"The pain of awful puns! Say another awful pun, I swear, and-" Deidara proceeded to ignore Hidan as he walked into the kitchen. There he found someone else he felt like being a bitch to.
"Kakuzu. . ." he said slowly. Kakuzu looked up from his newspaper. "Just saying, but don't you agree that money is the best form of art?" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, and then his face fell.
"If you-"
"But isn't money best when it's. . .fleeting?" Deidara giggled. Kakuzu snarled, looking like he could strangle Deidara.
"You wouldn't dare," he growled. Deidara gave his cutest, prettiest smile.
"Come on, hit me," he urged. "You know you want to." And as Kakuzu went to charge at Deidara, the artist delivered the blow no man would expect. Especially when fighting another man, no male warrior would expect something so low. But to Deidara, it was sweet, sweet revenge as Kakuzu doubled over, knees pressed together. "Kakuzu, you deserved that, and your artistic money, un," Deidara said, grinning. As he turned, however, he came face to face with Tobi. "T-Tobi-" he stuttered, taking a step back. Tobi tried to give Deidara a reassuring smile.
"Glad to see you're up, Sempai," he said happily. Deidara turned and began to leave the room quickly, when Tobi reached out and grasped Deidara's only wrist, pulling the smaller artist against his larger frame. Gently, he wrapped his arms around Deidara's waist. "It's ok, Sempai. I'm Tobi," Tobi whispered in Deidara's ear. Gradually, Deidara relaxed, and let Tobi embrace him. Kakuzu rolled his eyes, and went back to whatever he had been doing.
That was a month after the incident. It was the first time Deidara had let Tobi touch him. A month later, Deidara would let Madara hug him close. But it was six months before they were able to talk.
Deidara and Tobi lay on the only furnished bed in their room. Deidara was, awkwardly, resting his head on Madara's shoulder, and Madara had a protective arm around Deidara's waist. "I'm an adult, now," Deidara whispered.
"What?" Tobi asked.
"I turned eighteen last week, un," Deidara elaborated. Tobi sat up in shock.
/He was seventeen when we had sex with him?/ Madara asked incredulously. Another change that had occurred was Madara's reference to the time when Tobi and Deidara had had sex. He referred to it as if both Tobi and Madara had done it. The answer he had given Tobi was simply that he had experienced it as well, and he had instructed Tobi, so it was as much him as Tobi. But Tobi knew that Madara knew he would never be able to touch Deidara on his own.
"Why didn't you tell me? We could've celebrated-"
"I never celebrate my birthday, un. I just thought you might like to know."
"Why don't you want to celebrate?" Tobi asked, lying back down. Deidara shrugged, snuggling closer to Tobi. He was showing the most affection today than he had in a long time.
"I don't know the exact date, yeah. I was only able to find out down to the week, hmm."
"Do I want to inquire further?" Tobi asked. Deidara shrugged.
"I managed to work out from someone that I was three months old in the summer, and then I worked out it was early summer, so I deduced the month, and I finally managed to find someone who told me it was early May."
"So. . .you were an orphan?"
"Yeah," Deidara said softly, turning his face to Tobi's shoulder.
/Wait! I think I'm remembering something- orphans, Iwa, he's eighteen. . .oh shit!/
'What is it?'
/He's a war orphan! Oh God, how-/
"Deidara-sempai, are you a war orphan?"
"Yeah. My parents died during the last part of the war, when Iwa was loosing." Tobi waited politely for Deidara to continue.
'What does a war orphan mean? Is it anything special in Iwa?'
/It means a number of things. But shouldn't I let him tell you? He'll get mad at me if I don't./
'Madara. . .'
"You listening Tobi?"
"Of course, Sempai. Go on whenever you're ready."
"Iwa lost pretty bad. It's like, in our- their- genetics to be stubborn assholes, yeah. We were broke, starved, sick, and we still continued sending out ninjas with almost no training, who were dying almost instantly, yeah. If you didn't have parents, you were forced into the ninja academy, and if you didn't want to be a ninja and go to your almost certain death, you killed yourself, un." Deidara closed his eye, relaxing slightly into Tobi's embrace.
'What do I say?' Tobi cried in his head.
/Oh, you think that's bad? If he goes on, you'll see real damage./
'What do I say?'
/How am I supposed to know? He has to have a point with all of this. . ./ Tobi settled for running his hands through Deidara's hair. This seemed to satisfy Deidara.
"Nobody gave us any money. I begged all I liked, and no one gave me even a yen. Eating out of trash cans can only get you so far. . ." Deidara gulped. "People weren't willing to give away, but they would. . .spend. . ." Deidara sighed. "I promised myself I w-would only do it a few times, just to get enough f-food to get enough strength to get a real. . .well, be able to do something to get food." Deidara gulped and glanced up at Tobi. "Don't look at me that way," he snapped. Tobi was taken aback.
"What way, Sempai?"
"Like I'm some wounded bird! It's disgusting!"
"I wasn't-" Tobi looked into Deidara's eye, and he knew. Deidara saw Madara.
'He's talking to you, Madara.'
/No he's not. I don't dare make an appearance./
'Why not?'
/He's scary./
'What?'
/It's something Konan said. He's not thinking right, now. You can-/
'Bullshit. Madara, you've faced worse things than a distraught Deidara. What are you really scared of?'
/Every time I try and say something, he freaks out! It's best if I just sit tight and wait this one out./
'But he doesn't want my approval, he knows he has it. You'd better take over right now, Madara, or so help me-'
/Fine. . ./ Madara took over, and instantly something changed in Deidara. Maybe Tobi was right.
"This is just plain silly," Madara said. "Why are you making such a big deal of something that happened in the past?" Deidara blinked.
"I just thought you might like to know," he mumbled.
"Deidara, the only way this would be relevant is if you have some STD you need to warn me about. But even if you did, we're both fucked because we've already had sex. So what's this about?"
"Oh, like you weren't thinking it," Deidara huffed. "What role did you play in the war?" Madara blinked.
/Damn you, Tobi./ he thought bitterly.
"Um. . .it was quite a long time ago. . .let's see, I didn't have Tobi. . .that would mean. . ." Madara thought, truly. "Oh yes, I was the one with the idea for the Kannabi Bridge thing. . ." Deidara stared at Madara.
"That was your idea?" Deidara asked. Madara nodded.
"Don't tell me. . ."
"Yeah, I'm not going to say it. But you know it," Deidara sighed. "I wouldn't be here if Konoha hadn't destroyed the Kannabi Bridge. Half the village starved because there was no food, and- shit, I'm not going into statistics. I'm thin? Your fault-"
"Look, Deidara, the truth is, is that if I had known that was the way things would turn out, I would have seriously considered throwing the war. I know there were starving and dead children just lying around, and the diseases, and what people would do for food. I know all the horror stories." Deidara looked away.
"Come on, say it," he muttered.
"What do you want from me?" Madara asked, voice low. "I've given you protection and patience. What more are you going to ask for?" Madara reached out, but Deidara slapped his hand away. Taking a deep breath, Deidara looked into Madara's eye.
"You're a heartless bastard who wouldn't think twice about murdering a puppy. But I just have one question for you." Deidara gently took Madara's hand and pressed it to his cheek. "When you touch me like this, who is it for?" Deidara let go of Madara's hand, but it stayed there, caressing his face.
"I'm not sure if I've seen more destruction than you have," he said slowly, ignoring Deidara's question. "But I do know that I've had more time to see such things. You aren't yet out of your teens." Madara leaned forward, their noses almost touching. "Who would I touch you for? I would touch you for the sake of us." Deidara's eye widened as Madara closed the small gap between them, capturing Deidara's chapped lips in his. Deidara grinned.
"I knew I was worrying for nothing," he whispered. Madara smirked.
"As usual."
"Pien. . ."
"I know what you're here for. And believe me, I would like to end this without harm to myself, my wife, or my daughter." Madara quirked an eyebrow, leaning against the doorway.
"Really?" Madara drawled. "No harm to you?" Pein sighed, standing from his desk. "It's about time I took things into my own hands. I've had my own goals for Akatsuki for a while now, and I've humored you long enough. Step aside and give me control of Akatsuki, or I can guarantee there will be blood shed."
"Who's blood?" Pein asked.
"Who do you think?" Madara growled. "I've lost all patience with you." Pein bowed his head.
"Believe me, Madara-sama, I would fight you on this matter, believe me. But an innocent life is in my hands, and I cannot jeaprodize Aiko when she has only lived six months." Madara choked back his surprise. "It's unfair of me to risk such a young life, and putting Konan at risk for something she doesn't even care about is pointless. She'd fight you, believe me, if she cared a little more."
"How strong is Konan, exactly?" Pein looked up, blinking in surprise at Madara's question.
"Why?"
"Is she stronger than you?"
"Yes." Pein whispered this single word. "But she has no wish to overthrow anyone. She says that, as long as she knows her own worth, why she would need a title for it. Madara, if you're even thinking of-"
"I won't lay a finger on Konan, for now. At least I won't have to fight her on this. Do you love her?"
"Yes," Pein mumbled. "I- I really, truly love her. Kill who you like, but threaten Konan and I'll be forced to step in. Madara-" Pein looked up. "-I don't exactly like it, but I know your power. I won't fight you." Madara grinned and walked over to him.
"You've made the right decision," he smirked down at Pein.
"I sure hope I have."
It was then that things began to get better. Of course, it was only a small amount at a time, but it was the everyday things that could sometimes bring a smile to your face.
"Bastard, un." Madara looked up, looking around in bewilderment. It wasn't Deidara's voice, but he could've sworn. . .Madara looked down to see the purple haired eight-month old Aiko looking up at him with large blue eyes. Pleased at the reaction she got from Madara, Aiko repeated her new word with gusto. "Bastard! Bastard!" Madara looked around angrily, and Deidara quickly hid his face behind a book, snickering to himself. Madara glared and stood up, walking over to the artist.
"Do you know how mad Konan's going to be when she realizes you taught Aiko a bad word?" Madara growled, leaning menacingly over Deidara. Deidara looked surprised.
"What? I didn't teach her that, un!"
"That smirk on your face says otherwise. . ."
"Girlie!" They both looked down at Aiko, who had tottered over to them. She grinned up at Deidara. "Feminine!" Deidara glared up at Madara, who grinned guiltily.
"I guess we're even?" Madara tried.
"You so just lost a blowjob-"
"Do NOT discuss your sex life in front of Aiko!" Pein cried, scooping up his daughter.
"Weakling!" Aiko giggled. Pein stared down at his daughter in bewilderment, then angrily down the hall.
"Konan!" he cried, marching down the hall to the room he shared with Konan. Deidara and Madara grinned at each other.
"You taught her that-" they both started, then stopped.
"You didn't, un?"
"I thought you did-" Madara and Deidara blinked at each other.
"It must've been Konan, yeah. . ." They were silent for a moment.
"You didn't mean it about the blowjob, did you?"
Sometimes, they were able to laugh, even. Though Madara would always be jealous of how easily Tobi could get Deidara to smile, and how easy Deidara was around Tobi, he knew Deidara was always more honest with him. They didn't talk about much, Madara knew to keep his mouth shut about anything that involved Kakashi, Konoha, or Iwa.
One would guess Madara wouldn't have a lot of time to devote to Deidara. But as it turned out, Madara had quite a lot of time on his hands. His first decision as leader was to let Deidara stay at the hideout, even though he was unable to complete missions. Madara knew not to mention Deidara's missing arm, as it was his fault, and no one else mentioned it. Deidara kept in shape, and could've been able to complete small missions, but Tobi had argued quite effectively against it. "Madara, he didn't choose to be a criminal, so it's fair to give him the choice now. If he wants to go on missions, that's his decision, not yours." And Madara effectively agreed. Deidara, though never failing to remind Tobi he could kick his ass, showed no interest in completing missions.
A/N: Ok, crappy chapter, introducing new material so close to the end, but I've been busy and, truly, a lot of crazy shit's been going on (like half my friends having melt downs and trying to kill themselves. Sigh.) so sorry for the poor quality! Reviews please!