Chapter Twenty-one: Decisions

Time was nonexistent.

A blur of odd smells, sights and feelings. Words he could not understand, questions he could not answer, and worst of all--pain he could do nothing about.

At least he was unconscious most of the time, because then he could not feel the injuries that had put him in this state.

When Alex was awake, the pain made it hard to focus. Any control he had over his body had been taken away; he could not move or even focus his eyes. His arms and legs were heavy, weighed down and feeling like they were being pulled deeper into the mattress.

Someone laid a palm on his forehead, their touch gentle enough to allay some of Alex's fear. If this person meant any harm to him, the evil intent was well hidden behind that careful hand.

The hand moved away, and Alex momentarily felt at a loss before it with replaced by a cool flannel.

Water from the damp cloth rolled down his face, leaving trails of ice in their wake.

Alex knew he was sick. His body screamed it at him.

Flashes of fire, large stones that made up a wall and cloudy skies filled his dreams. They were constructed from glimpses of what he saw while conscious. Oddly enough, at some times during his dreams, he could taste the thick feel of oatmeal in his mouth.

Alex wondered why he didn't feel hungry as he dreamed of such foods.

There was something else as well…a person, or more specifically, a boy. Blond hair, that was lighter than his own, and wary eyes that stared at him with barely hidden curiosity, made up this person.

These memories and flashes only confused him, and with a loll of his head, Alex collapsed back into the welcoming darkness.

The nightmares greeted him. One would think that since he was safe, any dreams Alex had would be about safety…but how could he relax when he knew that five other people were still going through that.

And what exactly was that? It was torment and suffering and so much pain.

When his dizzy mind remembered the enclosed place, with its dark atmosphere and bad intentions, something in his chest ached.

………………………………...

The smells around him were of honey and smoke, as if a match had just been lit. In the background, there was a scratching noise.

Alex focused on this, pulling himself to consciousness slowly.

He was on his back. Eyelids weighed down with sleep, Alex blinked slowly.

The ceiling above him crisscrossed in heavy, wooden beams. Alex stared up at it, trying to understand through the haze that lay on his mind like a heavy blanket.

Everything was muted--the scratching sound barely noticeable it was so soft. Alex became aware of the fire that burned near him, his right side warmer than the left because of the heat it gave to him.

He turned his head restlessly, his eyes finding a window with pulled back curtains. The scratching noise stopped.

Faint creases appeared on Alex's forehead as he wondered where the sound had come from and why it had stopped. Soft footsteps answered his question as a moment later, as someone stepped up next to the bed.

At first, Alex thought someone was holding a mirror over his face. He knew he was frowning like that…but this boy had different eyes, innocent eyes; where as Alex's revealed everything he could never say.

The boy moved away and out of Alex's sight. He could hear water running and then the fire being stirred. Someone sat on the bed beside him and Alex opened his eyes, not remembering having closed them.

A cold and wet flannel was applied to his forehead. A hand touched his neck, and then picked up his limp wrist.

As the boy looked up, Alex met his eyes. The questions were there, but the boy did not answer them, and as blankets were pulled up around him, Alex found himself sinking again.

………………………………...

The third time he awoke, Alex was alarmed. Any sleeping or relaxants that were given to him had worn off by this time, and now all that remained was confusion.

He listened for the sounds of another person. In the distance he heard someone snoring gently. Good, he hoped they would stay that way.

Carefully, Alex opened his eyes and sat up. No pain went shooting up his back, his muscles did not complain--he was still sore, and tired, but this was a vast improvement from what he had been feeling.

Hesitantly, Alex tried to stand. He did not know where he was, or why he was there, but five people were waiting for him. K Unit and Yassen needed his help. It couldn't wait.

The blood seemed to drain from his face and his vision darkened, but he remained standing. Hands spread out lightly to keep his balance, Alex wavered as his vision cleared.

How long had he been sleeping? He had to move. People were counting on him.

Stumbling forward, Alex tripped over the edge of a rug and fell onto the floor not fifteen seconds after escaping the bed's confines.

His wrist stung with sharp pain as he landed on it awkwardly, and one leg kicked out to knock over the lamp sitting on the bedside table.

Alex hurriedly picked himself off the floor. Heart pounding, hand shaking with nerves, he made it across the room to the doorway--where he was intercepted.

Jerking back, Alex barely stopped himself from falling over and quickly leaned away from the reaching hand. Seeing his flinch, the boy withdrew his hand slowly.

"You okay?" he asked slowly, voice low as if talking to a frightened animal.

That annoyed Alex; he was not a broken creature in need of coaxing. He straightened his back and let his clenched hands loosen casually.

"Would you care if I wasn't?" Alex returned, voice just as quiet. The words were a test, and spoken out of curiosity.

In the pause that followed, Alex realized there was a raw pain in his lower lip. Bringing a hand up, Alex touched the soreness and his fingers came away stained with a little blood.

His eyes were pulled up when the other boy moved away to a nearby basin before reappearing in front of him with a flannel in hand. Taking it from his outstretched hand, Alex narrowed his eyes before putting it to his lip and turning to look around the room.

He was extremely aware of eyes drilling into his back. Who was this boy, and how much did he know?

The rooms were small, and Alex felt that the house the room inhabited was small as well. Over the bed he had escaped from, was a window.

Alex's hand dropped from his swollen lip as he stepped up to the window set into the colourless walls. He was still in England. That sky was the same one he saw every winter, the grey was deep and foretold of more rain.

Even now, at the edge of the field the cottage sat in, many trees still wept the rainwater from an earlier drizzle.

"I found you in a ditch, you can see where it runs beside the woods," the boy stepped up next to him and pointed out the window. Indeed, if Alex squinted, he could see where the ground swooped down. It looked like a darker line of grass that continued down the edge of the forest before disappearing from view.

"This land was owned by farmers; their crops circled this cottage and encompassed the field. That ditch you fell in was used to hold water and keep the plants from dying during the summer."

Bemused, Alex wallowed in confusion for a few moments. He glanced warily at the other boy, hoping to gauge his true feelings behind the easy words.

He sounded nonchalant, as if he came across half dead people all the time.

Half dead…that was what Alex had been. He'd felt the darkness creeping in even as hands pulled him up and back to life.

Blinking furiously to clear his mind and rid himself of the familiar dread, Alex cleared his throat. His legs were growing cold from standing still; they had probably not been used in at least three days as well.

"How long have I--" been lying on your bed, probably oozing blood and drooling mindlessly? Alex wasn't sure how to end that sentence, and so it hung, waiting to be finished by anyone.

"Been here?" the boy suggested. Alex turned to look at him with a nod.

As the boy thought, Alex glanced around for exits, wondering meanwhile if other people lived here.

Beside the bed, there was a small rubbish bin with bits of gauze spotted with dried blood. Alex's stomach turned, but he did not look away from the sight and took in the small bowl of pink water sitting on the floor along with the puddle around it.

"Eight days," the sudden sound of Nathan's voice made Alex start, and he looked up.

When he had taken in the words, Alex had another reason to be surprised.

"A whole week?" he said. The surprise in his voice made the boy frown.

"And an extra day," Nathan added.

"God," Alex muttered, his legs going week so he was forced to sit on the bed or collapse. "That long?" he asked himself, thinking of everything that could have happened to his friends in that time.

Nathan frowned at that, something making him displeased so he said fiercely, "Do you know what you looked like?" Nathan leaned forward so they were eye to eye.

Alex swallowed and licked his lip in agitation; the raw feeling was still there. His mind turned, reeling back and forth so he was forced to close his eyes. A whole week--and a day.

Surely Yassen and K Unit were dead by now?

"You--you should be dead." Nathan pressed, digging for some response.

"I know," Alex hissed finally, "what I don't know is who you are, where I am, and how I am still alive!" He sounded frightened, and Alex could not deny that he wasn't partially scared.

The boy took a deep breath before replying. "I'm Nathan, that's all you'll learn about me for now. You're in my house. And as to why you're still alive…" Nathan's mouth snapped closed and a faint blush stole over his face.

He then looked at the fire and away from Alex before mumbling something.

Alex frowned. Had he heard right?

He repeated Nathan's words slowly, "You…specialized in boys? Er--what?" Feeling suddenly horrified and in a stupor, Alex got off the bed and stepped back even as Nathan's eyes grew wide and he laughed in surprise.

"Ew, no! That's not what I meant!" he protested holding up his hands and stepping away as well, and Alex heard a bit of a Yorkshire accent in his tone.

Alex's keen eyes took in the embarrassed way Nathan held himself and the amused look in his eyes.

"Than, what did you mean?" he asked.

"I said, I specialized in first aid in Boy Scouts," Nathan rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor.

Alex blinked, "O…kay."

Nathan chuckled at that, "I got sent to America for a few years, got pressured into joining the Boy Scouts. The only thing I liked there was the first aid stuff," he shrugged. "It came in handy; you'd be dead if I hadn't known how to sew you up."

Alex winced and his hand went to his side, but even his hand hurt from where he had fallen on it earlier and Alex looked down at it, then at the other as well.

His wrists had fading bruises on them, some old from restraints but some were new.

Alex looked up, frowning and wondering where they had come from. Nathan had gone pasty.

"You thrashed a lot," he said shortly, "I had to hold you down, the first time the nightmares started, you almost fell off the bed." Alex nodded. He remembered nightmares, and screaming, but it was all very hazy.

"Sorry," Alex said, fighting down another blush and looking around the room again. The walls were adorned with pastel coloured paintings; he could see a glimpse of another room through the cracked doorway and again felt the urge to run.

He glanced up to see Nathan staring at him. The boy did not look away when Alex met his eyes defiantly.

"Where were you going?"

His brief try at escape had been interrupted earlier, and remembering that, Alex felt bitter for a moment. He could be halfway to a town by now, he thought, even though common sense told him he'd never make it that far.

"Home," Alex lied.

Nathan did not seem to believe this, and one eyebrow rose. "Back to the people that hurt you?"

Alex was struck speechless. Unfortunately, Nathan seemed to take that as an affirmative.

"I--what do you mean by that?" Alex asked him slowly.

"This," and here he waved at Alex's slight form, "has been going on for a while. I'm guessing abuse."

A hysterical laugh bubbled up in Alex's throat, but it came out choked. "Abused?" he shook his head. "No, I've not been abused--not by family at least. And I'm sane enough to know not to go back there."

Nathan turned to tend to the dying fire, but Alex heard the muttered, "That's not what you say in your sleep…."

His face flamed.

If he knew the other boy better, Alex might have repeated the sentence he misheard earlier. A joking, 'So you don't specialize in boys, but you watch me in my sleep, eh?' might break the tension, but Alex did not dare say it except in his head.

He still wasn't sure enough of himself. He did not have enough answers.

Why was Nathan alone, when he barely looked older than Alex? How much could Alex tell him?

"What do I say?" Alex challenged, crossing his arms in an unconscious move of defensiveness.

From his place where he knelt on the hearth before the fireplace, Nathan shrugged.

"Most of it was probably because of the painkillers--which were a pain in the ass to make you swallow by the way," he said, sounding accusing.

Alex rolled his eyes, "So sorry I was a nuisance, the broken bones and raw skin made me a bit irritable." Taking a deep breath once those angry words were out, Alex tried to calm himself before speaking again. "But, really, what did I say?"

In the middle of his miniature rant, Nathan had turned and stared at him. "You muttered the names of animals, mostly." He seemed reluctant to talk and give answers, but curious enough to press Alex for responses to his own questions.

"Um…how did you come to get broken bones and--er, raw skin anyway?"

"I jumped in front of a car," Alex drawled, "Now tell me what else I said; I know you're not saying everything."

Nathan stood in a swift motion, dusting ash from his jeans. "You're probably hungry; can you make it to the kitchen?"

Alex brought a hand up to rub his temple; he did not appreciate the attempt to draw his attention away from important questions. What if he had talked of MI6 in his sleep?

But, he was hungry. There was no denying that.

As Nathan led him to a kitchenette, Alex found another question to ask.

"You say I've been here a little over a week, but I don't remember being awake for long periods of time. So how come I'm not dead from starvation?"

Nathan shot him an amused look, "I fed you of course."

Well, if he had been hoping to get an answer that would not embarrass him, Alex was dreadfully let down. At least he had enough blood left in his body to blush, if Nathan hadn't found him…well, the red soaked flannels and pink water basin in the bedroom told Alex he would not have lasted long on his own.

"I would have been surprised if you had remembered," Nathan said as he opened the breadbox. "Most of the pain relievers made you sleepy, even when I tried to feed you, you tended to close your eyes."

Alex watch as the older boy pulled out jam to spread on the thick slices of bread.

"I guess I should thank you you for saving my life and all," Alex said slowly.

Nathan stopped spreading jam, placed the knife down and crossed his arms."If you really want to thank me, you could answer some questions?"

Lips firming into one thin line, Alex met his eyes, "Will you answer mine?"

Thinking that over, Nathan turned to the pantry to bring out two glasses. They had flowers painted on them, although most of the paint seemed to have come off leaving stalks with disfigured sunflowers upon them.

As he filled them with water from the tap, Nathan spoke. "How about this, I'll ask you a question and you can decide not to answer, but in that case, I get to ask another, and you must answer that one. The same goes for me, okay?"

"You want to play a game?" Alex asked, just to be sure.

Nathan shrugged, "I'm sure as hell not learning anything by the way we're currently doing things."

"Maybe I don't want you to learn anything about me, ever think about that Sherlock?" Alex snapped. A pain in his side, horribly injured hand, and many others places had started to flair lightly.

Nathan put one glass down on the counter-top with a sharp thud. "In case you've forgotten, you're in my house, and you owe me your life. If I want the answers to a few tough questions, you have no right to deny them to me."

Alex held his breath, not out of fear, but from anger.

"And if you can't do something so simple…then, you'd better leave," Nathan said. With that, he picked up the plate of sandwiches, his glass, and headed to the living room adjoined to the bedroom.

As soon as he was gone, Alex's fists relaxed and he slumped to the floor. Staying upright had become a hassle during the verbal war. There was a pain in his head that had grown to encompass all of him.

There were three chairs sitting around a small table just a few footsteps away, but Alex was not sure he could have made it that far without collapsing.

He had to think on what to do next.

When he'd first awoke, Alex had wanted to escape. Now that he was more conscious and aware of his condition, Alex knew that wasn't possible.

A week could make scratches heal, but he had wounds that would last forever.

He didn't have forever though, in fact, if they found him, it would only take one single bullet to end his life. When and if he died by the hand of one of his previous capturers, Alex would be taking information about K Unit and Yassen with him to the grave, and that could lead to their death.

Alex heard the footsteps, but that was not enough to make him take his head out of his hands. The headache had worsened.

Nathan stopped in the doorway, Alex's back towards him.

He heard the other boy take a deep breath, then, he moved forward. "Come on," Nathan said, placing a hand under Alex's arm to bring him up.

"The painkillers wore of then, eh?" Alex gave him a baleful look which Nathan just grinned at. "Have you made up your mind?"

Alex nodded slowly, "Would you mind if I stayed here a bit? Just so I can…get things together?"

"Yeah," Nathan replied, the answer so simple and his voice so trouble-free that Alex was taken aback.

"Oh," Alex replied, wishing he did not feel at a loss.

Nathan gave him a strange look, "What, you thought I'd say no?"

Alex shrugged wishing he didn't feel so weak as he let Nathan support him and lead him to the sitting room.

"You have every reason in the world not to," Alex muttered, and then hoped Nathan hadn't heard that. No reason to make him more curious and ache to ask more questions than Alex wanted to answer.

Since he had decided to stay just long enough to gather information on where he was, how to get to town and hopefully get a good meal in his stomach, Alex figured he would have to answer some of whatever Nathan asked.

They sat on the couch, Nathan offering him a sandwich and a glass of water with a gesture. It took a few minutes for Alex to relax enough that he could enjoy the taste of food in his mouth, and even then, he held himself warily.

"So," Nathan said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve in a comfortable manner. "What's your name?"

Alex briefly considered giving a fake name, just in case worse came to worse sometime during his stay. After all, could Nathan really be trusted if he learned too much?

Nathan saw him hesitate, and with a scowl, placed his sandwich down and wiped his hands on his jeans. Expression unpleasant and back stiff, he did not look at Alex as he spoke.

"And I'd appreciate if you wouldn't lie to me…."

Embarrassed at getting caught, Alex nodded, "I'm Alex Rider."

Nathan searched his face for guilt or hidden emotion, and when he found none; his hand was put out for shaking. "Nathan Svein, nice to meet you."

That was when the tough questions started.

Authors Note: Got any questions you'd love to see Alex answer? Tell me and I might be able to write them into chapter twenty-two.
The 'specialized in boys' line is for those who immediately thought Nathan and Alex would get it on, *laughs helplessly*. I promise, as perfectly cliché as that would be, it won't happen. Although--wouldn't it have made the story interesting if Alex had woken up with amnesia? Heh, I could see a lot of bad drama if I had followed that idea.

"Who are you--hell, who am I!?"

Well, you see Alex…you're a normal teenage boy--except that most everyone you love is dead and you've been blackmailed into working for the government! Alex? Uh oh…. My yahoo group will soon have the teaser for the next chapter, a new monthly newsletter and a new poll, ^_^ Link is in my profile!