Lovely

Summary: Crane and Mei Ling write a story together. That can't be hard, right? AU Humanized, 1920s

A/N: Drama saphhire requested a Crane x Mei Ling drabble. I read Parlor Tricks by Lyralocke (may she rest in peace) and fell in love with the Roaring 20s. Hilarity ensued.

In case you get confused:

Crane Talking

Typed Header

Mei Ling Talking

Typed Words

Here's to you, Drama saphhire. *raises glass*

A Retelling

By Huang Jien

It was gray and rainy that night. I was just about to turn in early from a long day of being me when the phone rang—

Crane, Baby, what are you doing?

Mei Ling! Uh, hey Doll! I thought you were coming in an hour…

I was already in the neighborhood, wrapping up the Peng Case. Uh, what were you doing?

Me? I was doing something? I hadn't noticed!

You're scaring me now, Crane.

Oh. Heh, sorry Doll. How 'bout I move this incredibly useless papers that you shouldn't look at and—hey! Mei Ling! Give those back!

'It was a gray and rainy night…when I picked up the phone I heard a scream; a woman's scream. She was begging for my help…Said her name was Wu Sho…when I met her a week later, an angel was standing next to her…' Babe, is this a retelling of how you met me?

No! Of course not! You should stop reading now!

You thought my eyes were 'pools of the finest gold'? Aw shucks, I'm blushing.

Mei Ling, please give those back!

And my lips were 'gently calling your name in a soft, delicate voice'. Sheesh, you were obsessed with my face, Feathers.

Doll you really need to stop reading!

Aw, love at first sight! That's so sweet Crane!

I'm going to have to drink this memory away…

Hey, this doesn't have an ending. Want me to help you?

That'd be the bee's knees, Doll. Can you help me from the next town over?

Don't be like that! If it makes you feel better, we can write this together. So it's not focused on my…how'd you put it? 'Ducky feminine assets'…yeesh, you didn't see many girls before me, did you?

I'm getting the hooch.

I'm just pulling your leg! I'll pretend I never read any of it, but I do want to tell this story. It's a nice memory.

…Promise not to tease me anymore?

Does the look in my sunset colored eyes say differently?

Mei Ling!

Okay, okay, I'm done. I promise not to tease you anymore; now stop blushing. Your face'll catch fire.

I'm ignoring that. Pull up a chair—oh, um, or you c-could sit in my, er, lap…that's a swell idea too…

We're more comfortable this way. Scoot the typewriter over; I've got an idea for the intro that's the cat's pajamas!

Lovely

By Huang Jien and Wu Mei Ling

It didn't start out a love story. In fact, it didn't start out as a story at all. It was a problem; an issue, a bump in the road. And that little problem had a name: Wu Mei Ling.

It started as an average day, cloudy as Chicago ever was and bustling with people. Agent Huang Jien, better known as Crane, had been trying to solve a case. He was looking for a missing boy name Ruo, but all the clues had lead to dead ends. Tired and disappointed, the detective put his head down on his desk and sighed.

He surely would've fallen asleep when the phone on his desk rang, jolting him awake. He picked up and tried to be polite as possible. "This is the Furious Aces Detective Agency; you've got Agent Crane—"

"This is the Aces? Oh thank god, thank god," a frantic voice on the other end of the line said. "Listen close Agent Crane, I don't have a lot of time."

Crane leaned forward on the edge of his seat, desperately looking for a pad and pencil. "Then you'd better talk fast," he said as he found what he was looking for at last.

"My name is Wu Nikka," the woman on the other end of the line said, "and I'm being hunted. Actually, my whole family is being hunted. There's really no chance we'll live but I've got a kid sister, she's only eighteen and she's still got a life ahead of her…" there was the unmistakable sound of a gunshot and a shrill scream. Nikka's voice came though, even more frantic then before. "I'll give you all the dough I've got, just take care of her, alright? Her name's Mei Ling and she's a spiffy little dame, I swear, she doesn't need much, just a home—if you could swing by my house and pick her up that'd be swell, real swell…" She rattled off the address. Just as she was saying thank you, there was another gunshot and then the line went dead.

Crane knew right then that he'd just heard someone get shot.

He called the rest of his team right away.

As the last agent of the Furious Aces force filed into the office building, Crane had to take a long sip of coffee to calm himself. His fellow agents were quiet and sullen as mice as they awaited his explanation.

"We've got a case," he said simply, throwing the notepad on the table where everyone was sitting at. "And it ain't gonna be easy."

His closest friends all looked at each other uneasily. The two woman, one with curly brown hair and nearly yellow eyes, the other straight black and warm blue eyes, wearing almost identical coats looked sullen. Tigress was always sullen, it was her thing, but right then it was a sullen that was deep—even for her. Viper tucked her black hair behind her ear and shakily reached for the notepad.

Next to her, the first of the fellas, was a short man with fiery red eyes and a soft green suit and fedora hadn't quite reached sullen, but was bordering serious. Mantis watched as Viper flipped through the notes and handed the paper to Tigress. The solemn woman read quickly and passed it off to a man with a boyish face next to her. He had icy blue eyes and a snow white smile that couldn't be seen as he read Crane's notes. When he finished, he stared right down at his gray pinstriped suit and fumbled with his blue tie.

Mantis received the notepad last, and his eyes widened as he read. He looked up at Crane with wide eyes. "Oh jeez. Does the Chief know about this?"

"Not yet," said Crane with a shake of his head. "You, me, and the others are the only one's that know. Wu Nikka and whoever else was with her at the time has bumped off. Kicked the bucket. They're gone, and so are most of our leads."

"We've still got what you wrote," Viper said sagely. "It's not much though…"

"I wrote every word she said." Crane tucked his fists in his pockets. "The only thing we can do now is go to that address and find the dame."

"What?" Tigress stood, frowning deeply. She was nearly a head shorter then Crane, yet she towered over him. "You actually want to go?"

"Well of course," Crane said weakly, backing away from Tigress' anger. "I mean, the dame's probably in danger too. We've got to go get her."

Monkey shrugged. "The place ain't too far from here. On the west side…it'll take half an hour, tops."

"That's hotsy-totsy," Tigress said venomously, "but we're not going. For all we know, this is a ploy to get us killed. We know plenty of fellas that want our heads." She placed a fist on her hip. "Yeah we're cops, but that doesn't make us invincible."

Crane cringed; she had a point. A good one, actually. "But what if Nikka was telling the truth? We're gonna leave a kid to get hunted by the same guys that killed her family?"

Viper raised her hands to settle the argument Tigress was about to start. "You both have swell points. How's about we take a vote. Who wants to go?"

Crane raised a shaky hand, as did Monkey, Mantis, and Viper herself. Tigress gasped, then scowled. "No skin off my nose if you get your butts busted."

Just then, Chief walked in. He fixed his wire glassed upon his nose and tilted his fedora at the agents. "Morning, all of you. Something wrong?"

"Yeah Chief," Tigress stated before she could be stopped. "These guys are all wet." She told Chief the story Crane had told everyone else. When she finished, Chief fixed his cold blue eyes on Crane and looked about ready to bump him off.

"You're outta your mind if you think I'll let you walk straight into a trap like that."

"But sir! We took a vote! We all think we should go!" Crane protested, then shrank back against Chief's glare. The short old man side, rubbed his head, and relented.

"Lucky for you this is a democracy, not a dictatorship." He pointed at Crane, Viper, and Mantis; "You three are gonna go check this out. I'm taking these two," he gestured to Monkey and Tigress, "to the south side. It's a tricky situation, but there's word that Boss Chan and his boys are plotting to blow up a couple drums and a distillery." He waved his hand as if it were a casual matter. "We all leave in five."

Chief's word was written in stone. Crane glanced haphazardly at Mantis and Viper; they were in for a long ride.

"Hey, can I borrow your handgun?"

Mantis lifted his jacket, revealing a belt nearly full of guns. "Choose one, doll," he winked at Viper. She kicked him in the shin as she pulled a gun, shoved that in her purse, then turned to the boys.

"What're we waiting for?" she asked sweetly as she walked by them. Mantis' tongue nearly lolled out of his mouth as he eagerly followed the girl, with Crane laughing as he pulled up the rear.

The drive wasn't long, and Mantis' jalopy pulled through. They parked at the end of a dusty street and the green-clad man patted the car's hood. "Attagirl, Jane," he said lovingly.

Viper poked fun at him for naming his car, and the two quickly ensued in banter. It was entertaining to listen to, and calmed Crane's nerves to hear something so normal.

"What's the number again?"

"1508." Crane squinted into the distance. "Say, isn't it that one right there?"

Mantis followed his finger. "With the black cars lined in front of it? Pos-i-lute-ly."

Viper sighed. "We can never get things easy, can we?" she muttered as she filled her gun with bullets. "Let's go fellas."

By the time they reached the porch of the old, rundown house, Mantis and Viper had devised a swell plan. After retrieving an empty hooch bottle from his car, he loosened his tie, unbuttoned his jacket, and instructed Viper to make herself look messy as well. They staggered to the door together, arms all over one other, laughing and hiccupping and taking 'swigs' from the empty bottle.

Crane snuck around amongst the bushes as the did so. He heard the two talking with a guard, then Viper squealing, followed by a gunshot and the safe word 'Attagirl!'. Crane took a deep breath and emerged from his cover and followed Viper and Mantis into the house.

There was a small scuffle by the door. Someone tried to jump Mantis, and his reacted instantly by flipping them over his back and into the nearest wall. "Mei Ling?" Crane called, and heard a small cry in response. "Upstairs," he said to his partners, and they filed up the staircase in an orderly line.

Upstairs, they heard the sound of a fight. A man burst through a wooden door and gaped at the agents. A petite woman wielding a plank followed after him, pausing only when she saw the three agents. "Who are you?" she asked warily, momentarily taking her eyes off the man.

"Agents Viper, Crane, and Mantis," Viper replied coolly. She pointed her handgun at the man on the ground. "You'd better stay there, Hands; lay another finger on her and this gun will be the last thing you ever see."

The man whimpered and held up his hands.

Crane walked forward to the girl. She looked tired, but behind the haggardness he guessed she was pretty. "Are you Wu Mei Ling?"

"Who wants to know?"

"You know anyone named Nikka?" Crane continued, ignoring her abrasiveness. The girl nodded hesitantly. "I hate to tell this to you, but she's dead."

Mei Ling blinked. "What?"

Crane relayed the story of the phone call. Mei Ling dropped her weapon. "Really? She's gone? Just like that?" Without waiting for a reply, she jabbed a finger into Crane's chest. "Did she tell you who was shooting? You hear anything that could give you a clue?"

"No," Crane said softly. "Sorry, doll."

Mei Ling deflated. "Don't be. S'not your fault." She hardened instantly. "So are you taking me from this place or what? These men have been keeping me hostage for nearly a week."

"Yeah," Mantis said as he lifted a handcuffed man to his feet. "We're taking you home."

"Good," Mei Ling brushed past him, already down the stairs. Crane exchanged a look with his partners, shrugged, and followed her.

Hey! You can't end it like that! Where's the romance? Where's the undying love?

It's implied!

No, the only thing you implied that I was a rude bearcat. Not a hint of love whatsoever.

Why don't you write the ending then, Doll?

I will. Get your unromantic hands off that typewriter.

Agent Crane kept glancing at the girl sitting next to him. She hand hair past her shoulders, something he hadn't seen in a while. Her features were soft, making the angry look she was trying for seem out of place. "Do you have any other family?" he asked, trying to start a conversation to make up for the silence.

Mei Ling looked him over. "Yeah," she said at last. "A cousin. She lives in New Orleans."

"That's far."

"The farther I get from this place, the better."

Crane guessed she wanted to stop talking, but he couldn't let up. "Who were those guys holding you hostage?"

"Dewdroppers," Mei Ling spat. "Boss Fennu hired them to make me a prisoner in my own home."

"What's his beef?"

"My sisters." Mei Ling raised her eyebrow. "Surprised you've never heard of them. Real big troublemakers, those three. They bumped off someone important to him, he got mad and decided to retaliate." She sighed heavily. "I guess he got carried away and killed them instead of me…"

Crane patted her shoulder. "Sorry," he said again. She brushed his hand away.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that sorry fixes nothing?" she asked, though not rudely. "Anyhow, I just need a place to stay until I get to New Orleans. You wanna help me with that?"

Crane closed his eyes. By the sound of it, Viper and Mantis were arguing with each other over something and didn't hear the request. He thought of Chief…boy, Chief wouldn't like this. Neither would Tigress…but this girl had some potential. She could help them while she stayed, so she wouldn't be a freeloader…

"Aw applesauce," Crane muttered. He turned to Mei Ling and smiled. "Course I'll help. In fact, nobody would mind if you stayed at the office, as long as you put yourself to good use."

"Easy," Mei Ling said mildly. "We got ourselves a deal then?"

"You bet. Put her there, Miss Mei Ling." Crane shook her hand heartily. Their touch linger second longer then it should've, then they hastily let go.

"I never learned you name, by the way."

"Huang Jien. But most call me Crane. Agent Crane."

Mei Ling scrunched up her face. "Agent Feathers it is. It's been nice doing business with you." Then she winked at his dumbfounded expression and closed her eyes to enjoy the rest of the ride.

It was a lovely day, after all.

Ugh. I remember that.

You should, Feathers. The name fits you perfectly. Like now; when you get all riled up you kind of squawk, like a bird, and your neck pulses like your feathers are standing on end.

I do-do not!

That was a particularly squawky squawk.

You're so mean to me, Doll.

I'd say sorry, but I'm not. Want me to make it up to you?

How are you gonna pull that off- mmph.

Is that good enough?

Oh…uh…gee…I dunno…you might have to try again…

Heehee, very funny. You know…we should do this more often.

Kiss?

No, we do that a lot. I meant write stories together. It's fun remembering all this stuff with you.

You think so? Shucks, I feel the same way. But you know what I like doing with you even more…?

I can take a guess.

Cash or check?

Actually, this bank's closed. We have case to be working on. Boss Chan is planning on getting rid of another swinging distillery.

…do you really care right now?

Not particularly. Come here ya big lollygagger.

A/N PT 2: That was really fun! Teeehee Crane/Mei Ling banter is so cute... I used A LOT of 1920s slang in this, which is probably why I'll be talking like that for the rest of the week. I used this nifty website to get all my info (http:/ home(dot)earthlink(dot)net/~). Hopefully I'll see you guys with more of the Furious Aces and their detective agency. Well, I gotta mooch. See ya!

bonus points if you use 20s slang in your review :P