A/N: Alright, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!! And well, to those who are curious how Kakashi will treat Iruka after this, I have to say I have no answer to that yet. I'm still refining the storyline. The ending have been more or less decided though, after having gone through the different scenarios a few times. So, this story will be ending soon in another few more chapters. ^_^

Chapter 21: Contemplations

Iruka stared blankly at the assignments on his dining table. He had gone back to the academy to teach after being on sick leave for four days and the bruise had finally faded away. When he had stepped into the office that morning, all that waited for him were stacks and stacks of ungraded assignments, and he didn't really have a choice, but to bring it home to grade it.

But Iruka wasn't focusing on grading the papers. He was thinking. There were so many thoughts running through his mind at that point in time that he really couldn't concentrate anymore.

He hadn't seen Kakashi for five days, after that fateful night. Sakura had been to visit the jounin and had told him that Kakashi is getting on fine. His mood swings has gotten better and he isn't that easily aggravated anymore.

Iruka couldn't help thinking that he was the one who had caused Kakashi to snap.

After all, it seems that once Iruka had stopped going to look for the older man, Kakashi had stopped being so easily agitated. Iruka wondered if it was because that he had been trying so hard to get Kakashi to acknowledge their relationship that he had inadvertently added on the stress to the jounin.

A tap at the window brought Iruka out of his reverie. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to the window.

There was no one there.

Iruka frowned and was about to turn back to the dining table when the tapping came again.

He strode over briskly and pulled open the window, looking out. There was no one. Then a husky voice spoke, making him jump.

"Yo, Iruka. Haven't seen you in a while."

Iruka turned to the side and gaped at what he saw.

"Pakkun, what are you doing here?"

The nin-dog shrugged and slipped in through the window, heading straight for the couch. Iruka shook his head and secured the window latch, before moving over to sit next to the pug.

"So, what brings you here?" Iruka smiled and tickled the pug behind his ear. Pakkun grinned in satisfaction.

"It's boring at Kakashi's house. So I thought I would come over and pay you a visit."

"He summoned you?" Iruka stared at him disbelievingly. "He's recovering?"

"Not exactly. Genma helped him to summon us. Kakashi can't get his chakra flow right yet. Must be the medication."

Iruka sighed and nodded. He should know better than to hope that Kakashi was getting better.

"So, how have you been?" Pakkun glanced at the chunin.

"Good, I guess." Iruka muttered.

"You don't sound too good to me."

"I'm fine." Iruka smiled. "How is Kakashi anyway?"

"He's behaving strange. One minute, he seems alright and the next, he's moping around the house. Just earlier on, he was clearing out the things in his room. And then a moment later, he seems to be hit by something and appears to be in a little shock." Pakkun snorted. "Can never understand him."

"What happened?" Iruka stared at the nin dog with worry in his eyes.

"Who knows?" Pakkun rolled over in the couch, letting the chunin scratch his belly. "You know how emotionally stunted he always is. Perhaps there are other areas that he is stunted in as well after he got into that injury."

Iruka laughed softly. "You've got to look after him, Pakkun. You guys are all he has now." The last sentence was spoken in a miserable tone and the nin-dog didn't miss it.

"What about you?" Pakkun raised an eyebrow.

"He wants me out of his life." Iruka looked away. "In his eyes, I'm no more than an average chunin that you see on the streets. He will never set his eyes on me."

"That kid is stupid if he doesn't want you." Pakkun lounged in the corner of the couch. "He just doesn't remember now. But if he does, he will know how happy he had been when you were with him. And then, he will start to feel guilty about how he had been treating you. So, are you planning to give him up?"

"I'm never the one planning to let go of this relationship." Iruka sighed. "He's the one who's trying to make me give him up."

"And, what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it." Iruka ran his fingers through his hair. "You know, perhaps it isn't such a bad idea to let go now."

Pakkun sat up from his spot with a serious look in his droopy eyes. "Are you sure?"

Iruka was silent for a moment. Then he closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing out. "I guess. It just hurts too much to carry on. Ibiki-san told me that Kakashi may never recall those memories again. It wouldn't have been so bad trying to keep this relationship if Kakashi doesn't keep pushing me away. But, he's just so adamant to keep me out of his life and refusing to let me get involved with anything regarding him."

Pakkun did not say anything. But he snuggled closer to the chunin's side.

"You know, this relationship is almost non-existent. I really do not know what to do anymore. I've been trying everything I can, but it's all futile. Kakashi is not reciprocating anything." Iruka mumbled. "And I know he would be happier if I choose to let him go. I heard from Sakura that he has been in a better mood lately. And that happened after I stop looking him up." Iruka smiled bitterly.

The truth always hurts, that he knows. But he didn't know it hurts even more to say it out loud. Perhaps, realizing that he no longer has a place in his lover's heart was what hurt the most.

Iruka buried his face in his hands as his emotions came crashing down. He had been thinking about what Ibiki and Anko had said days back and they were right. He had to think about how he wanted to deal with the relationship. And he did. He decided that he would give it up. It will hurt. But it's always better that he is hurting himself rather than he hurts Kakashi too in the process.

Pakkun nudged him with his nose and said in a low, gruff voice. "I would hate to see you go. But if you think that's for the best, then I would go along with you. Though, you still have to prepare steaks for me when I come visiting."

Iruka let out a laughter as he wiped the tears away. "Of course, Pakkun. Though you may have to look for me somewhere else."

"Why?"

Iruka looked around at the house with a sad expression on his face. The same house which contains all the fond memories as well as the recently hurting ones.

"This house is bought by Kakashi. Since we are breaking up, this house should go back to him. I would have to start looking for another apartment."

"Don't be silly." Pakkun snorted. "Boss still has his old apartment. He can stay there. Why would you want to give this place up to him? It doesn't make sense for him to have two houses, does it?"

Iruka shook his head. "This apartment is rightfully his. I have to return it. Whatever he wants to do with it after that is up to him."

Pakkun shrugged and moved over to the window. "I don't know about that. You humans are funny. I don't want to work my small brain to figure you out. I've got to go anyway. Kakashi might be looking for me."

Iruka nodded and opened the window to let the dog out. Pakkun gave him a sniff before leaping out.

"Take care, Iruka. I will see you again."

"Good night, Pakkun." Iruka watched as the nin-dog leapt into the darkness. He shut the window.

When the pug finally disappeared out of sight, he slid to the floor, letting the tears fall from his eyes. He knew he had died that night.

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Asuma stared at Kakashi, so intensely that the silver-haired jounin found himself flinching.

"Just what is it, Asuma?" Kakashi frowned.

"I heard from Kurenai, who heard it from Anko." Asuma's gaze never left the man in front of him. "Who spoke to Iruka and found out that, the two of you are ending your relationship."

Kakashi shrugged. "Or so that's what I heard from Pakkun too. Anyway, we never started to begin with. So there is no ending to talk about either."

"And you are fine with letting it go?"

"If you are still trapped on the notion of me and that chunin together, then yes, take it that I'm fine with letting go of this relationship." Kakashi snorted. He wasn't going to believe all these nonsense that his friends were feeding him, and no, whatever that had crossed his mind the previous night had most probably been a figment of his imagination. Most probably the side effects of the medicine. He wasn't going to take that as the truth.

Asuma finally tore his gaze away and lit up his cigarette. "You know, none of us had ever expected that the two of you would end this way."

"Asuma, would you stop that?" Kakashi glared. "You are beginning to sound like Pakkun."

"Then would you stop that?" Asuma glared back. "No matter what we said, you never believe that Iruka is your lover. Do you know how much you have hurt him?"

"Then he should have left the very first time I said that instead of hanging around and listening to me denying it time and again." Kakashi snapped. "Just what is it about him that you are so adamant to push us together?"

"Callous, aren't you?" Asuma took another puff from his cigarette. "I still remember how persistent you were when you were courting him. Kurenai was so envious of all the things that you did for Iruka and she was hinting to me the entire time that I should do the same too. Too bad you can't remember any of that now. If you did, then perhaps you will start to treasure him more."

Asuma stared up at the ceiling, the cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips. "Perhaps it's a good thing that Iruka choose to give up now than to suffer more later."

"Of course." Kakashi scowled. "And we can each get on with our lives."

Asuma sighed. "I don't know why I agreed to come with you on your follow up session when I know that I wouldn't be able to stand your response to this breakup. You will regret this someday, Kakashi."

A nurse came out from the room, cutting off the minor conflict. "Hatake-san, it's your turn. Kitou-san is waiting for you."

Kakashi stood from his seat and walked briskly into the room. Asuma shook his head and snuffed out the cigarette before following.

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