Chapter Twenty-One

His Truth Is My Repose

Bane's POV

It was an odd feeling, after all that we had shared with one another, to have her treating me with politeness and professional courtesy, but she insisted on keeping these appointments that tested my readiness for the first of my surgical procedures decorously restrained to the relationship that existed between a nurse and her patient. I could understand, and respect, her insistence of the two of us putting our feelings aside in these moments, truly I could, that is, I did, but it would have been much easier for me to do so if she was not wearing the ensemble that she was, which made it difficult for me to conduct myself in a way that could be called gentlemanly.

I told myself that there was nothing about her clothing that was provocative, that there was not a single thing about it that ought to have set my pulse to racing and made my libido stand up and take notice, but no matter how I tried, I simply could not convince myself that there was no reason for me to respond to her the way that I was. Her dress was one that was plain and white, very utilitarian in style, but I could not help but notice the way that the pristine hem touched the top of her knee, almost as if it was caressing it, nor could I ignore the row of buttons that started right above her breasts and ran all the way down the front of the dress, the ones which begged me to rip them apart, until she was standing before me, bare and…..

"Goodness, your heart is racing," she murmured, bending closer to me and affording me a glimpse of the naked slopes of her breasts, which was a sight that made my heart gallop all the faster. "Is there something worrying you, sweetheart, I mean, aside from the usual 'prisoner of people who are completely out of their mind' issues, that is?"

I thought back on something that Dr. Adelai had told me, about how feeling love for a woman to the point of obsessiveness was a dangerous thing, and I realized now that he had been telling me the truth. I had been so fixated upon Talia at one point, and that preoccupation had nearly cost me my life, and what was frightening was the knowledge that the feelings that I had experienced with her were paltry in comparison to the almost fanatical love and desire that I felt for Malayna. I truly feared the day that anyone would try to take her away from me, I wept for all of the innocent souls who would perish, because there was no doubt in my mind that I would burn the world in order to get her back, and God help whomever tried to get in my way.

"Hmm…a racing heart, a deadly scowl, and a refusal to speak to me. I can't s-say for certain what's ailing you, Bane, but I'm starting to think that you're mad at me about something, and if that's the case I wish you'd just say what I've done, and stop giving me the silent treatment, okay? Granted, things are silent for me all of the time, but I still appreciate you making the effort to communicate with me, if my only other choice is you….."

"Why do you not trust me?" I asked quietly, curling my hands against the bedcovers that rested beneath me. "Why did you have to bring people into your life that can hurt you? Why did you not tell Dr. Adelai to be quiet when he started to tell you about X? Do you not know what it does to me, to know that he has more reason to watch you now than he did before? Can you not comprehend what I am suffering with, now that you have placed yourself in his line of sight?"

I had hurt her with my silence, and my words caused her even more pain, which angered me further, and made me curse myself for not concentrating on the arousal that was coursing through me and making me crazy. The anger had been buried deep, in a place where it would have stayed quiet, where it would have festered for days before it needed to be released, so why had I done so prematurely? Was there not enough chaos in our lives already? Why could I not keep my mouth shut when it was best that I do so?

But then, my silence would not do either, because it bothered her too, so what alternative did that leave me? Perhaps I simply was not capable of doing anything correctly…or maybe I was simply pouting and indulging in a pity party, and if that was the case, the one thing that I needed more than anything was a good, swift kick to my backside, but who on earth could do that without me retaliating in kind?

"I do trust you," she hissed, practically ripping the blood pressure cuff off of my arm. I flinched when I saw that she'd taken a thermometer in her hand and was approaching me once more with eyes that promised violence, and readied myself for her attempt at flipping me onto my stomach and forcing my pants down to my knees, but her touch was very gentle as she inserted the bulb into my mouth, to rest beneath my tongue, though her eyes had lost none of the sparks of anger that I had brought to life within them. "I trust you with my heart, I trust you with my life…haven't I shown you that time and time again?"

"Yes, you have, Malayna, but….."

"And I've been surrounded by people who take joy out of causing me pain for a good deal of my life, in case y-you hadn't guessed that by now," she continued, standing in front of me, with her hands on her hips, while she glared down at me. "As for Dr. Adelai, I would have had more luck flying to the moon by flapping a set of w-wings that had sprung out of my ass than I would have had trying to shut him up once he was on a roll, but I would rather know everything that there is to know, because at least now I am aware of the fact that some sick son of a bitch has been getting his jollies watching us, and I can occasionally direct a rude gesture toward him, when the mood strikes me, because I have no intention whatsoever of hiding under the bed and waiting until it's safe for me to c-come out, because I know that it will never be safe for me, or for you, not so long as we're in this godforsaken place!"

There had not been many occasions in my life when something or someone had stunned me, but watching her rant and rave at me, listening to some of the words that had come out of my beloved's mouth, had worked quite well to put me in that state. I knew that I had stifled a fair bit of anger myself lately, but I had been too dim to see that she had been doing the same, and what was worse was that one side of her mouth was hitching up and down and her chin was growing wobbly, and it was obvious that her emotional state bothered her, it made her feel weak, and she would undoubtedly flee the room before she cried, if I did not stop her, so I reached out and took hold of her wrist, drawing her toward the bed, then down, so that she straddled my lap, with no heed at all for my personal safety, should she choose to react in a violent fashion.

"Forgive me, my love," I said, reaching back to pull the pins out of her hair, so that it would fall and cascade down her back and over her shoulders. "It is a poor excuse, at best, but I allowed my anger and my fear to get the best of me. That is why I would not speak to you, and that is why I was scowling at you….."

She silenced me by placing her fingertip against my mouth, and then ran it in a softly teasing caress along my bottom lip. "Of course I forgive you, sweetheart," she murmured, while she continued to trace a path over my mouth, first the bottom lip, then the top, then back to the bottom again. "And it's understandable that you're on edge, because I am as well…but why won't you tell me about the reason that your heart was racing?"

It was still galloping, I could feel it, and I knew that she could as well, just as we could both sense the hardness that was insistently making itself known in my pants, boldly seeking her warmth and her softness through the layers of our clothing…well, the layers of my clothing, and of her panties that is. Why on earth had I not noticed that before? How could I have possibly missed the fact that she was straddling me in a way that some might call indecent, that being that the prim and proper dress that had been causing me so much distress was bunched up around the top of her thighs?

"You know what was causing that," I said, hesitating for just a moment before I slid my hands up her bared thighs, up under her dress, to grasp the waistband of her panties tight in my fists. "Just like you know what you are doing to me right now, do you not?"

She started to smile, then caught herself, and strove to scowl at me instead, but her effort was paltry, at best. "Surely this dress isn't stimulating to you, my love," she said flirtatiously, leaning back on my lap, so that she could unfasten the top button, followed by another, then one more, until she had unbuttoned it to her waist. "And surely you don't mean to say that I'm a tease, because provoking you is the furthest thing from my mind….."

It did not take much strength on my part, just a small amount, really, a quick tug, and the waistband of her panties snapped in my hands and I smiled at the sound of her gasp and concentrated everything that I was feeling at that moment into my gaze, and felt something that could only be called conceit take hold of me when I saw the way her own eyes widened, then slowly grew warm with the heat of her own burgeoning arousal.

"You have known the entire time you have been wearing that dress what it was doing to me, have you not, my dear?" I growled, slowly pulling her ruined panties off of her body, my hand lingering for a moment or two on her backside as I did, before tossing them across the room. "That is why you spent so much time sashaying as you walked, was it not, because you wished to torment me, did you not?"

"Hmm…well, that is, maybe, well, I mean….."

"That is exactly what you meant to do, and you were very successful, my love," I said, moving my hand beneath her dress once more, to slide over her bottom, chuckling when I felt her tense, as if she expected me to swat her, then she whimpered, and drew in a long breath through teeth that were tightly clenched as I found, and stroked, the swollen warmth that rested between her thighs. "But there are always consequences to be paid for your actions, and I mean to see you teased and tormented before I am satisfied that you have properly learned your lesson. I do not do this solely for my own pleasure, but also so that you might know….."

My words died away with a groan as she leaned forward, using her lips to silence me, and surging her hips to take more of the length of my fingers into her silken embrace. "If you truly wish to punish me, you're going about it in the wrong way, my love," she said, whimpering and biting her bottom lip as I found a spot within her that was particularly sensitive to my touch. "You could stop, and leave me in this state, that is, you could, if you truly wished to be cruel to me."

Where had my timid little mouse gone to? When had she grown so bold? Of course, I was not bound to complain about the change in her, but I still wondered when she had turned loose of her timidity and grown to the temptress who was currently rising and falling upon my fingers and driving me to distraction with tiny whimpers and sighs of my name. She was a wise woman, because she knew just as well as I did that stopping would punish me just as much as her, and I knew that I would never be able to do so…but there was no reason why I should let her in on that bit of knowledge, was there?

"I think that I am doing just fine," I said, moving her dress aside, so that I could gently bite the tip of her breast through her bra. "I will discipline you soon, but not yet. There is much teasing and tormenting to be done, my dear, and it is bound to pain me just as much as it does you, but I must do this, otherwise you will never learn."

Malayna's POV

The car came out of nowhere and veered into our line of traffic. I saw myself as a girl, I remembered everything that I'd felt, that I'd heard, and seen and smelled in that moment, when the headlights of the other car had illuminated the cab of our vehicle. My high, piercing scream joined with my mother's as my father struggled with what had been a split-second decision. His choices had been limited to driving into the other lane, which would have sent him into the path of an oncoming vehicle, or into, and through, the guardrail…and he'd chosen the second option.

The moments that passed after the car went through the rail and plummeted toward the water were the fastest that I'd ever experienced, yet everything seemed to stand still at the same time as my mother turned to look at me, with tears streaming down her cheeks. There was outright horror in her eyes, but she tried to smile at me anyway, and I did the same, and we froze in that instant, for just a second, then the car hit the water with a thunderous crash and I bounced around in my seat, my head pounding against the wall and the ceiling of our car, and everything went black.

The rush of cold water against my body, surging into my face awakened me, and the first thing that I did was to cry out, first for my mother, and then for my father. It was difficult, but somehow I managed to open my eyes and my gaze was drawn to Mama, in the hope that she would be smiling at me, that she would undoubtedly be hurt, but that she would be just fine, given some time. That was what I wanted to see, but the sight that awaited me was completely different, and I started to scream, and to cry, as I stared at her once beautiful face, which had been broken and rose and fell in bloody summits and bases, and saw that her eyes were still open, but they weren't watching me, they were looking right through me…..

….. "No, Mama, don't go, p-please God, no!" I screamed, bolting upright in the bed, slapping my hands against the water that grew higher and higher, but my hand didn't connect with anything cold and wet. What I slapped was large and warm and strong, and he drew me into his arms as I started to sob uncontrollably, stroking my hair and laying my head upon his chest, so that I could feel it rumbling and know that he was comforting me.

He leaned over to the side of the bed, carrying me with him, and turned on the lamp, so that I could see his face, which was the only way that he could speak to me, though it made me uneasy to know that him doing so would enable X to follow everything that I said, if he was watching. I suppose that I shouldn't have been too concerned with that, given that Bane and I had given him one hell of a show earlier in the day, but I couldn't help but feel grateful when I looked all around at the ceiling and saw that the red lights were all out, which meant that we were alone.

"Tell me what happened, Malayna," he said, cuddling me close to his chest and rubbing his hand up and down my back. "I know that you want to forget what you dreamed, I know that it is painful for you to remember what happened, but this is just what you need to set the record straight, once and for all."

"I can't, I just can't," I sobbed helplessly. I didn't want to think about what happened anymore. I just wanted him to comfort me, just as he always had in moments such as this one, and soothe me back to sleep, but I knew that this time was different, no matter how I might wish it to be the same, and he wasn't going to have pity on me. "Why are you d-doing this to m-me?" I asked, choking and sputtering as I struggled to speak, which served to spark my temper to life beneath my fear and my sorrow. "Why won't you l-let me find some p-peace?"

His hand moved from my back to my cheek, and his other hand cupped the other side of my face while he kissed me. A mean streak within me urged me to turn my head away from him, to deny him that embrace, but it was a small part of me, infinitesimal, really, and the larger, more dominant part of me relished the feel of his palms on my face, and needed to feel his lips pressed against mine, and I didn't deny him, I enjoyed him instead, and felt horribly alone when he moved his mouth away from mine.

"You can do this, my love, and you must remember, otherwise you will never know a moment of peace," he said, smiling at me while he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "If you do not allow the memory to live, you will allow X to win, and all that will be remembered of your father is the lies that were told. You do not want that to happen, do you?"

"Mama died when the car hit the water," I said, thinking to myself that I would do anything and everything in my power to interfere with X's plan to be the victor over me, and that I would never allow him to malign my father's name again, not while there was a breath of life within me. "I saw her face, it was shattered, and her eyes didn't see me anymore. I started to cry, and to scream, and then suddenly Daddy was calling for me. He told me to move toward him as fast as I could, but my head hurt, and it was hard to keep my eyes open, and I didn't move as quickly as I ought to have….."

I choked on a sob, remembering Daddy's voice, so calm and so strong, in spite of what was happening all around us. "He had every reason to be cross with me, b-but he never yelled, he n-never got mad, he just reached his hand out to me and helped me to move toward the front. There was a moon roof on top of the car, and the water hadn't covered it yet."

I paused in my story, struggling to remember, but the memories acted like wisps of clouds, scattering this way and that when I tried to grasp hold of them. I balled my hands into fists and shrieked with frustration, hammering them against the side of my head, which was something that I'd done when I was younger, and Bane reacted just as my parents always had, grabbing hold of my fists in his palms and pulling them down to my sides.

"That will not help you to remember," he said, his eyes warning me not to hit myself again. "Just be patient, my love, let the memories work in their own time. Take a deep breath and open your mind and your heart….."

I did as he asked, though it wasn't the easiest thing that I'd ever done, and several minutes ticked by while I waited, but I forced myself to remain calm, and sure enough the moments in the car returned to me, just as he'd promised they would. "I reached up and opened the moon roof and started to reach for Daddy's hand, but he told me that I had to go without him. The dash had shifted forward on impact and h-his legs were caught beneath it. He t-told me that he l-loved me, he told me t-that Mama loved me, and then he told me to climb, he t-told me to live….."

My voice broke and several moments passed while I cried, and Bane didn't rush me, he simply held me instead, until I was strong enough to continue. "I started to climb out of the moon roof, but the water started rushing in and tried to push me back inside of the car. I begged Daddy to help me, and I felt him reach up as far as he could and push me. It seemed impossible that I would be able to escape, but he didn't give up, not even when the cab of the car was filled to the brim with water. He kept pushing me, and finally I was out, but I didn't have any strength left to swim. I felt myself sinking to the bottom, then something hit me in the head, and everything went black again. I didn't expect to wake up, but I did, in the arms of a policeman, out of the water, wrapped in a blanket, and everything was so quiet, too quiet, and then I went back to sleep, and I didn't wake up again for two weeks."

Dear God, I was so tired. I felt like I'd been running for miles, I felt like I'd been run over and tossed aside like a rag doll, but for all of my exhaustion, and all of my pain, I couldn't stop the smile that started slowly and grew, until it had complete control of my face. I'd known the truth all along, and it had been foolish of me to allow my mind to be swayed, but there would be no chance of that happening again. I knew the truth, which was the most important thing, but now Bane knew it as well, and he would be there to help me remember, if I needed him to.

I turned toward him, to shower him with the beam that was starting to hurt my cheeks. "I remembered," I said wonderingly, throwing my arms around him, to hold him tightly. "Who would have thought that I had it in me?"

He pulled back away from me and smoothed my hair from my face, then kissed me gently in the center of my forehead. "I do not wish to sound conceited, my dear, but I knew that you could do so all along. I tried to tell you, several times, as a matter of fact, but you simply would not listen to me. Perhaps you will do so in the future, now that you have seen for yourself that I am almost always right. Now then, I think that we ought to get some sleep, would you not agree?"

I stared at him for just a moment, then elbowed him in the side, a safe distance from his scars, and imagined the oomph of pain that had undoubtedly risen from him. "Yes, I am awfully tired," I said, laying down and rolling over onto my side. "And it pained me to hurt you, my sweet, but there are consequences that you must pay for your actions, aren't there….?"

My words ended in a squeal as he rolled me over onto my back and hovered over me. "There are indeed, my dear," he said, bending his head to nip my bottom lip, then my neck, and finally, and most sharply, on the tip of my breast. "Though I imagine they will not be terribly painful for either one of us, will they?"