AN: There are a couple of quotes directly from HBP in here, in the bathroom scene when Draco and Harry face off.
"You have to kill Dumbledore?" She asked. Shock lacing her tone, she looked like she was about to leave, it hurt me to the core.
"I told you, you would come to hate me. Was I right?"
"I mean, I can't believe it." She blinked. "You can't do that." She said.
"I have to. He'll kill me, and my family. You know he doesn't joke about that kind of stuff Gray."
"You can get help Draco! I can't believe you would even consider doing this."
"No one can help, you should know that. I know you have faith in Dumbledore, but I don't. Why would he even consider helping me and my family?"
"I have to say something, you know that."
"You can't. I shouldn't have told you. I should have just left when you came into kitchens last night." I sighed and buried my face in my hands.
"This is so much worse than I thought it would be. I can't believe this Draco." I groaned and got out of the bed. I stomped towards the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I splashed water onto my face and quickly changed out of my pajamas. When I went back into the room Gray was still sitting in the same position. Her face contorted in some weird expression, her hands fisted in the bed sheets. "So what, you're just going to leave, and pretend that this never happened?" She asked as I made my way to the door.
"What other choice is there?" I asked.
"Just talk to me!"
"Talk about what Gray, I am not going to change my mind, and neither will you. We've been here so many times, and nothing changes."
"If you just leave now, I'll never forgive you." I drew in a sharp breath.
"I can't believe you would say that. As I pointed out there is nothing to talk about." She got to her feet and walked towards me. She looked more upset than I could ever remember seeing her. "Gray this was a mistake, you agreed to that last night. Just please do not say anything. And if you do hate me and never forgive me, well…" I shrugged. "Then there is nothing I can do about that is there?"
"Yes there is! I've already told you."
"Fuck! Gray I am done with this! How many times do I have to say that I will not do things your way? I screwed up by opening up to you, and I wish I hadn't but I can't take it back now."
"I can't believe you would consider this, and not do a thing about it. What is wrong with you Draco?"
"I'm sorry that I'm not what you want me to be." I backed further away from her. "If you tell…I'm done, you'll have killed me and my family." Her shoulders slumped in. She ran into the bathroom and was out in seconds, before I could react, and rushing past me. Her clothes were bunched against her chest, and she started out the door in just a shirt.
"I'm sorry Draco." She whispered as she rushed past. I took me a second to process what she had said. And when I did I tore out of the room after her.
"Damn it Gray!" I growled. She was already quite far ahead of me, but I was faster. I rapidly closed the distance between us and caught her around the waist. I dragged her into an alcove. Her eyes were wide, and her breathing heavy. "I'm not going to let you rat me out."
"What are you going to do? Imprison me, kill me? What?" I sighed.
"Of course not, what you think I'm a complete monster now?"
"I don't know what you're capable of." She answered.
"That's nice Gray, really nice. You think I would hurt you?" Her resolve softened somewhat.
"No, I don't think you would hurt me."
"Just promise me you will not say anything about this."
"I can't promise that Draco."
"I guess you care less about me then. If you tell, I'm dead. End of story. You care more about Dumbledore?"
"Don't be stupid. Of course I don't. I promise I'll not say anything for now. Okay?"
"You won't say anything for now?"
"No. If you let me go, I will go up to Ravenclaw tower, and just sleep on it. I won't say anything to Dumbledore today."
"What about tomorrow?"
"Who can say?"
"Merlin Gray you are so frustrating! Why can't you just give me an answer?"
"I can't give you an answer because I don't know what to do! I love you more than anyone, but the war hangs in the balance. Just let me go Draco. Just let me go." My hands that were around her arms loosened slightly.
"Gray I am begging you. Please, keep this to yourself." She shook herself free from my grip and slowly edged away from me.
"I can't believe who you've become." She softly intoned. Her hand brushed lightly over my left arm before she left me and the alcove behind. I swore under my breath and made my way back to the Room of Requirement. Into the Room of Hidden Things and towards the alcove I favoured. I sank onto the couch that just last night allowed me a fraction of freedom from my life. I buried my face into my hands and pulled at my hair. What had I done?
"You look worse than usual mate." Blaise announced as he barged into my room later that night.
"Thanks Blaise, just the lift I needed."
"I'm serious. You look terrible, care to let me into your dark miasma of troubles?"
"Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast this morning?"
"I eat one at least once a week to keep up my verbose persona." I rolled my eyes at him, and he took it as some invitation to plop onto my bed. "Come on Draco this is worse than usual."
"I screwed up." I said simply.
"Clearly, please elaborate sir." I sighed.
"I ran into Gray in the kitchens last night…"
"Star crossed lovers." Blaise grinned.
"Sod off, I'm not telling you anymore."
"I'm sorry Dray, I'll keep my mouth shut and just listen, please go on."
"Well one thing led to another, and we spent the night together, but when we woke up this morning I did something incredibly dim. I told her what I'd been tasked with. And she flipped out. Now I think she's going to tell, and I'm going to die - literally."
"Shit mate that is bad. I wish I could say something more supportive. I don't think she'd do anything that would get you killed, she loves you." I shook my head.
"You didn't see her face, her reaction. I very much doubt she loves me anymore."
"Surely it cannot be that bad."
"It is. But I am not making the same mistake twice in one day. I'll not tell you what I have to do."
"Well Draco the way I see it there is only one option left. Let's get drunk!"
"I can't disagree with that."
The months flew by, with me making several failed attempts on Dumbledore's life. I assumed that Gray had said nothing to Dumbledore as I was not confronted by the old coot. One of my attempts had landed Katie Bell in St Mungo's, so imagine my great discomfort when I saw her walk into the Great Hall one day as I tried to get some food down. Immediately people swarmed her, Potter included of course, asking if she was okay, and asking what had happened. I felt the food I had managed to get down, trying to come back up, my pulse beat loudly in my ears as I pushed to my feet. I made my way quickly from the Great Hall and pounded off towards Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
She had weirdly become like a friend to me. She was actually pretty sympathetic. Misery Loves Company, as the saying goes, so we bonded over our miserable lives. As I burst into her bathroom, she flew out of a toilet stall. I rushed to a sink and gripped in tightly, my knuckles turning white. "Are you okay?" Myrtle asked.
"No Myrtle, I am so far from okay." I felt the cold emanating from her ghostly hand against my back. "I'm in too deep. Fuck it Myrtle. I should just give up." My head sank forward, and tears leaked from my eyes.
"Don't…Don't…tell me what's wrong…I can help you…" Her voice drifted into my ear. The tears came harder. She had no idea.
"No one can help me. I can't do it…I can't…it won't work…and unless I do it soon…he says he'll kill me…" I struggled to get my breath back, and then I opened my eyes. I caught sight of someone standing behind me – Potter. I narrowed my eyes and span around quickly drawing out my wand as I did so. I shot a hex at Potter. A duel began between the two of us. I was about to use an unforgivable on the little git, but Potter cast a spell that I had never heard before at me.
"Sectumsempera!" He yelled. Pain like I had not previously experienced in my life shot through me. I was aware that I was bleeding, a lot – my wand fell from my grasp and I fell over into a pool of blood and water. I was aware of Myrtle screaming, and Potter saying no. Everything got hazy from there. Snape arrived and said something about dittany and not scarring. He was helping me to the hospital wing. As soon as we got there and I was on a bed I passed out.
~ I awoke late into the night. Pain lancing through me, and I jumped in shock at the sight of a pale figure at the end of my bed. It was Gray. She looked worried and tired. I wanted to ask what she was doing there, but no sound would come from my throat. She just shook her head and walked silently away. Not a minute later Madame Pomfrey came to check on me. "Awake are we dear?" She asked. "I'll wager you're in some pain?" I nodded. "I'll go get you some potion, for your pain, and to put you back to sleep okay?" I nodded again. I swallowed and tried to talk again.
"What happened to me?" I croaked.
"You were hit by quite a nasty hex I'm afraid, your body was sliced open in many places. You lost a lot of blood. Unfortunately the dittany that we got on you was not soon enough, and you'll have some scarring."
"Scarring? How bad? Where?" I was starting to panic.
"Calm down dear. Yes scarring, not bad I promise, and just on your chest where the cuts were deepest. You're going to be just fine. I'm going to get you your potions now." I nodded. I ran my hands over myself checking to see if I could feel the difference. There were raised bumps on my chest that hadn't been there before. I wanted to get up and track Potter down, to get revenge for this. I knew that I would never make it though. Madame Pomfrey was soon back, and making me take potions. I fell back to sleep under the effects of the sleeping potion, wishing that I could just stay asleep until this stupid war was over.
AN: Okay so I am not one hundred percent on the timing of when the bathroom scene happened... I think there is a mix of book and movie happening here. Now I know the emotions in this chapter might seem kind of all over the place, but Draco is scared an confused so makes sense? Anyway - Big thanks to Mikomi121 and AriMalfoy1 for the review on the last chapter! :) Honestly make my day. And of course thanks to anyone who follows, favs, or even just reads this story period! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!