Killed Her Personally

by adoeinthemeadowes

"That's Dorcas Meadowes...Voldemort killed her personally" Dorcas 'Doe' Meadowes didn't intend to have a screaming match with Sirius Black in the Great Hall, or watch Lily and James fall in love, and she definitely didn't intend to face Voldemort alone. From Hogwarts to Death, follow Doe's story through the first Wizarding War. CANON DM/SB JP/LE Dorius Marauders Era

21. Snape's Worst Memory

Authors Note: The update time on this chapter was terrible I am so sorry. Blame Christmas time. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some more VERY exciting Doe/Sirius stuff is coming soon. Please Review! and Enjoy!

21

Snape's Worst Memory

"Tell me again how you decided to do this?" I asked curling up against the base of Marlene's four poster. "Not that I'm not thrilled about it."

We had spent the better part of the last hour curled up around Lily's battered copy of Hogwarts, A History, doing our best to ascertain exactly where the Mirror of Erised was located, and hashing out our plan.

The Mirror was supposedly stashed in the Room of Requirement. A room that was infamous around the castle for only appearing to those who had real need of it. Something that I thought might prove slightly difficult, but the others had been planning for this for hours.

When I had come back from Professor Dumbledore's office that night I hadn't expected to find my friends hashing out a plan to sneak around the castle at night. Especially not Lily. I had barely seen her since she had begun cramming for O. , so it seemed especially strange that she was the one who had suggested it.

A wide grin formed on Lily's face as she looked from Mary to Marlene. It was the happiest I'd seen her look in the last month.

"Well," she said, flipping one of the worn pages of the book carefully. "We were talking about the Mirror earlier, and it was so fascinating I couldn't stop thinking about it, you know? Like it's truly brilliant magic when you think about it. And you know I had a basic idea of where it was from reading but I needed to know exactly where it was, so I asked Potter-…."

"You asked James?" I demanded, absolutely floored. "You actually asked James Potter for help?"

The idea seemed incredulous to me. Even more ridiculous than sneaking out of our dorms to roam the castle at night.

Lily flashed me a guilty look, still pink-cheeked. "Well I didn't want to ask Potter, obviously," she said shaking her head a bit to dramatically to be convincing, "I went over there to ask Remus, but Potter overheard and started pestering me about it, so I asked him, and he told me exactly where it was."

"And gave her his invisibility cloak," Marlene added quickly with a very impressed tone.

"Good thing too," Mary nodded eagerly as she laced up her sneakers, "I don't know how we'd pull this off without it, mind you…"

Having James' invisibility cloak would make what we were about to do a hundred times easier. Not that I was surprised he gave it to her. James was always looking to do Lily favors, in order to soften her on him. She was the one who rarely let him.

"Well color me surprised, Evans," I said slightly impressed. If Lily was able to willingly take help from James then their relationship was better off than I thought.

Lily blushed, and busied herself with straightening the arm of her uniform sweater. "I just thought after all the stress of exams and everything that this might be something fun we could do to take our minds off it. Marlene looked ready to throw herself into the Gryffindor Fire earlier."

"You would be too if you realized you had barely learned a thing after five years of school!" Marlene said pitifully from the corner. She wrapped her arms around her legs and Mary pat her head comfortingly.

"It's just exam nerves, Marley," Lily added, throwing a sympathetic glance in her direction. "I think this will help squash them a bit."

Marlene grinned happily, running her wand threw her hands. "It's worth it just to see you abandon your Prefect ideals, Lilypad."

Lily's face turned upward into a confident smirk as she ran her finger over the shiny prefect badge pinned to her sweater. "Some things are worth a little rule-breaking don't you think? As long as no one gets hurt. Well, that and I figured if we get caught we could always find some way to blame Potter. It's not as if McGonagall or Filch wouldn't believe us." She grinned confidently.

"Very true."

We spent the next half hour curled up on one of the Common Room couches waiting until everyone else went back up to their dormitories. It seemed to take much longer than usual, with all the fifth and seventh years cramming for their exams.

Rylie and Alice seemed to take the longest, stretching it to almost past midnight before they gave up on their studying by the fire. Marlene had fallen asleep while she waited.

When the Common Room was finally empty, Lily unearthed the silvery invisibility cloak from her bag and shook it out.

"Do you think we'll all fit under there?" Marlene asked, yawning and stretching from her nap. Her legs were the longest out of all of us and stretched across the carpet.

"The Marauders manage," said Lily confidently. "I suppose they crouch? Both James and Sirius are taller than you though, so we should be fine. I'm determined to make it work."

"If Lily's determined, you know it will happen," Mary said with a smirk.

The four of us squished as close as we could together as Lily tossed the cloak over our heads. Thankfully, it seemed we were just the right size to all fit comfortably under the cloak. Only the very front of our toes were visible when we walked, and we all agreed it was highly unlikely that in the dark of the castle, anyone would be searching for our toes.

It took longer to creep through the silent castle under the cloak. Each of our steps had to be in tandem and we did our best to keep the sound from echoing across the stone walls.

"How do the four of them this do this so often?" Marlene hissed quietly as we barely managed up a set of stairs. "I keep feeling like I'm going to trip one of you."

"Persistence and a general love of rule breaking, I'm guessing," Lily answered with a chuckle as we crossed the corridor slowly.

"Well remind me to compliment them on their skills the next time me see them," Marlene added, creeping along with caution."

"Right. As if their heads need to be any bigger than they already are."

"Maybe we should whisper," I suggested quietly, hearing their voices echo slightly down the corridor.

I could sense the usual Marauders bickering about to start between Marlene and Lily, and though it was usually good-natured we didn't have time for it tonight. But I didn't need to worry about it. One stern look from Mary was all it took for the two of them to drop it altogether.

We rounded another corner and all four of us stopped immediately. Four shadowy figures stood at the end of the corridor, whispering at one another in quiet voices, their shapes illuminated only by the moonlight shining through one of the large bay windows.

"But I don't understand why," one of the voices whined loudly. Too loudly. It echoed down the corridor and the others all hissed.

"Merlin, will you shut it, Zabini?" another voice whispered crossly at the first. "Are you trying to be overheard?"

"Daft girl," said a third. I recognized that voice. It was Rabastan. I'd heard it enough times to have recognized it in my sleep.

"We shouldn't have brought her," snapped a fourth. "I told you she'd do this, Walden."

My ears perked up at the sound of it. There were Slytherin Sixth Years out in this corridor. Something told me that they four of them were not out of bed after curfew to go on a playful adventure like we were. We had stumbled on something.

I turned to see looks of interest and curiosity on my friends faces too. With the exception of Mary. She looked just as terrified and put off as she always did when there were Slytherins around.

I was now far too curious to turn around and go the other way to the Seventh floor. I wanted to know what these Slytherins were talking about.

Eyeing my friends silently, I pressed a finger to my lips and nodded in their direction. Mary looked disheartened but the other's understood and crept forward and quietly as we could, crouching so they wouldn't see our feet.

We stopped when we just behind the group of them. The light from the window was brighter here and we could see each of them in perfect detail.

Sabrina Zabini was leaning against the far wall, under the arm of Walden McNair, who looked enormously pleased with the good fortune of being in her presence. Sabrina was incredibly beautiful with long dark hair and flawless brown skin. Her eyes were narrowed, framed by thick black lashes that kept touching her cheeks as she rolled her eyes.

Sabrina went through men faster than Sirius did with women, and Walden's large ears and overly narrow face weren't up to her usual standards. He seemed to sense this, as he kept staring down at her formidably curvy frame with the look of man who had been just given a sack of Galleons.

Rabastan and Antonin Dolohov stood in front of them. Rabastan was no longer wearing his school uniform, having traded it for a velvet smoking jacket that looked very out of place at Hogwarts.

My heart skipped nervously at the sight of them. I never wanted to run in to Rabastan knowing what that usually led too. And I had recently made enemies with Dolohov too after what I had said to him in the Great Hall the other night. He was a hotheaded Slytherin, not evolved enough to get over something like that. It was only a matter of time before he came collecting for that embarrassment I had caused him.

Between the two of them, I knew enough to know how safe I was under the invisibility cloak right now.

"I just don't understand why we can't talk about this in our own Common Room?" Sabrina demanded, pressing a cigarette in her hand to her mouth.

"Because Sabrina, not everyone in Slytherin thinks we way we do," Rabastan remind her calmly, straightening his collar.

"You really want mudblood sympathizers and Gryffindor-lovers like Emmeline Vance overhearing this conversation?" Antonin added.

Beside me I felt Lily tighten angrily. Her eyes narrowed in frustration at Antonin. Her tiny pale hand clutched her wand tighter.

"Vance," Sabrina snorted, taking another puff from her cigarette with a haughty, irritated look on her face. "You know I am so sick of everyone idolizing that slag just because she comments on the matches. She's not even that good-looking."

Sabrina's jealousy was written all over her face. It was clear from the look on Sabrina's face that she detested her house mate for her good looks.

The other sixth-years looked irritated, rolling their eyes at her obvious vanity.

"Why does it even matter to you, Sabrina?" Walden asked, stroking her arm with a kind of reverence. "She's a half-blood. No one with any standards whatsoever would want to go near her."

"Except maybe Rabastan," Antonin chuckled darkly. "He's the only Pureblood I know regularly chasing after half-blooded little tramps."

"Only the one, Antonin," Rabastan corrected him coolly, his eyes suddenly focused with a renewed sense of purpose.

I felt the gaze of my friends move to me, as I realized Rabastan was talking about me. It made my wand hand shake.

"You're odd, Rabastan," Walden said, taking a puff from Sabrina's cigarette. "Even for a Lestrange. Thought I suppose you do have a family history of getting women the easy way, don't ya?"

"You better watch your mouth, McNair. Unless you want me to start a conversation about your family history. It's not nearly as clean as mine." Rabastan snapped, more irritated than he had been a moment ago. Whatever Walden had said had clearly sparked some kind of rage inside him. I wish I knew what they had been talking about. I'd love to have information that could make Rabastan look that put out.

"Easy Lestrange, I was joking."

There was a haze of smoke between the four of them, from the cigarettes nestles in Sabrina and Dolohov's hands. I watched in horror as the smoke made its way towards us and parted on other side of the cloak, slightly revealing our presence. Lily eye's widened in fear too, seeing it also, but the others were so engrossed in their conversation they didn't notice.

"Can we get back to the point of this little meeting?" Antonin hissed angrily. "I don't fancy a detention from that scraggly little squib of a caretaker."

"Right," Rabastan said steadying himself. "Well, I heard from my brother, Rodolphus that the Dark Lord is having another one of his recruiting bouts this summer, and he's even considering taking on wizards still in school."

Lily in took her breath so quickly, it made a little noise and she covered her mouth with her hands. Marlene grabbed her shoulder for support, but the group in front of us didn't hear it.

I was too engrossed to have noticed. You-Know-Who was recruiting? How could any more people be swayed to join his disgusting revolution?

"Oh, come off it, Rabastan," Walden said shaking his head. "Why would You-Know-Who want followers who aren't even of age?"

He pulled Sabrina closer to him, looking thoroughly unconvinced. Sabrina looked uneasy, taking another puff of her cigarette as her eyes darted back and forth from Rabastan and Antonin.

Rabatsan's eyes narrowed at them both in irritation. "Because there is strength in numbers, you blistering idiot. He's the most powerful Wizard in the world. He needs huge numbers at his disposal for what he has planning in the future. He knows better than anyone that trust and loyalty should be placed in good Pureblood families. He's wants to groom the right kind of followers to join him, even if they're still in Hogwarts. And considering half of their relatives are already with him, there's no harm."

Under the cloak, both Mary and Lily looked like they were going to be sick. Marlene was staring back at them with a steely hatred. I understood exactly what they were feeling. It was revolting enough to know that You-Know-Who and the people who believed like him were out there, but to know they were right under our noses. Sharing the Great Hall with us? That was a whole new kind of horrifying.

Walden stared back at Rabastan silently, having realized his mistake.

"So, if I were you lot, and I wanted to secure myself a spot in his ranks upon leaving this ridiculous place, I'd make sure that your allegiance is well- documented," Rabastan said sternly.

Sabrina took another nervous puff of her cigarette. Her right leg had started to bounce nervously.

"I suppose your spot is already secured then?" Antonin asked. "Your father and brother are already among his most trusted, aren't they?"

Rabastan rolled his eyes. "If you want to be a part of this Antonin, I suggest you work on tightening your tongue. It doesn't do well to run around bragging." He shook his head. "But yes, I am not worried about my place. I have proved myself beyond worthy, and will only continue to do so in service of the Dark Lord and his infinite wisdom"

His eyes glazed over at the memory of something, and a grin spread across his cruelly, handsome face.

"But you haven't joined up yet, have you?" Sabrina asked, the cigarette dangling from her full lips.

Rabastan looked annoyed at her. As if he hadn't wanted her here in the first place. "Not yet."

He said it as if he were hopeful that this fact would change soon. It made me shiver. I didn't know why I was surprised. Rabastan was exactly the kind of person who would join a cause like Voldemort's.

"Well I personally can't wait to try and join up," Antonin said excitedly, "Who else do you think

will try?"

Rabastan shrugged. "You never can tell. Half the house believes the same things we do, but are too cowardly to do anything about the mudbloods themselves." His eyes rolled. "Rosier and Avery definitely. Their fathers will insist on it. Nott and Wilkes most likely too, you know how they hate to be left out, even if they are completely daft."

They all chuckled. It made me want to kick them. They weren't even loyal to their own people.

"And Burke certainly seems passionate about the cause. Travers too. Selwyn won't. Her family maybe, but she's not a joiner. The Carrow's, I'd say yes. Montague, maybe. Mulciber definitely will. He's proven himself a hundred times over with what he did to that filthy Mudblood Macdonald."

Mary had gone completely still, fear etched across every inch of her face as she unconsciously reached out to hold her scarred forearm carefully. Every single one us under the cloak were filled undiluted rage. Marlene's wand was now in her hand. Lily had only lowered her own to wrap her arm around Mary.

"Shame really, he didn't get to finish the job," McNair said chuckling.

It took everything I had not to hex him right then and there.

"What about Narcissa?" Sabrina asked carefully. She looked strange like she hadn't expected this topic of conversation to come up when she agreed to come up here. Her face was drained of color and her voice had become breathy and uneven.

"Who knows," Rabastan said shrugging. "Her sister Bellatrix has already proven her dedication to the Dark Lord beyond words, and Narcissa seems to be on the right path but look what happened with Andromeda and Sirius-"

They all hissed again. It made me smile. I'd never been prouder of Sirius than I was in this moment. Being a 'blood-traitor' and betraying his family name was one of his most admirable qualities. I knew he'd be pleased if he heard the way they spoke about him now. I wished momentarily that I could tell him about it, but knowing that he wouldn't want to hear anything from me anymore. The thought depressed me.

"And little Regulus?" Sabrina pressed. "What about him?"

Rabastan shrugged. "Too young to tell. He seems eager when we speak to him about the message, but I suppose his blood traitor brother is still encouraging him to follow in his filthy footsteps."

This conversation had only made my stomach knot up more. It was terrible knowing the foul thoughts that lingered in the Slytherin Dungeon and just how many people seemed to believe them wholeheartedly. I was about to suggest that we abandon our eavesdropping and head for the Mirror instead, when we heard something that I knew we'd never walk away from.

"What about Snape?" Antonin asked. "Flighty little thing he is. He seems willing, but he's always running around with that ginger-haired mudblood."

Lily's hands had begun to shake. I grabbed her hand to comfort her.

"Snape is a tricky one," Rabastan purred, mulling it over. "He is talented, and passionate about the Dark Arts. I think that mudblood is no more than a soft-spot. Perhaps red-heads are his thing." Rabastan chuckled, like the idea revolted him. Lily's lips pursed into a thin, white line. Her eyes lit like a furious fire.

"Anyway, I spoke with him last week about all of this," Rabastan added casually, "and he told me he would do what he could. Even said he'd accompany me to a meeting over the summer. So, I suppose his loyalty lies with the cause. Anyway, I'm sure when the time comes, everyone will make their choice. Even Snape."

His words hung in the air for a moment, the weight of them weren't lost on anyone.

Snape had always dabbled with the Dark Arts. Everyone knew that. But until now, Lily had always claimed he'd never act on them. That he was misunderstood. Bullied by the Marauders. After all, no one could choose their house. Or the people in it.

But now that wasn't the case. Snape was acting on them. He was hanging out with future Death Eaters. He was interested in Voldemort. He was going to join up.

I didn't even have to look at her to know how upset Lily was. Her entire body had tightened with fury, and a furious snarl had escaped from her lips.

All four of the Slytherins faces turned in our direction. They had all heard her and had gone silent.

"What was that?" Antonin asked anxiously. Rabastan's eyes turned cold as one hand reached out and grouped the air, only inches from where the cloak was. Each of us took a minuscule, silent step away from him.

"We should go," Sabrina said quickly, her anxiety turning to full on fear, "before someone comes around and finds us."

Rabastan's eyes were scanning the corridor with a strange fury. Like he knew someone was there, and he didn't want to let it go. He stared wildly around for a few seconds while the others grew irritated.

"Fine," he said quickly, scanning the corridor one last time. I could even feel the paralyzing stare through the cloak. "Let's go."

Sabrina dropped her cigarette on the stone floor and stamped it out with her foot, and the four of them leisurely walked down the corridor and out of sight.

Only seconds after they were gone, Lily ripped the invisibility cloak off the four of us, her eyes wide and full of tears.

"How. Could. He?" She demanded tearfully, her chest rising and falling as she paced the floor with tiny steps. Her whole body seemed to be shaking with fury and upset. She looked like a wild animal that had been finally set loose.

"I mean I knew he was hanging around with Mulciber and Wilkes," Lily continued, her voice becoming more frantic with every word. "But Rabastan? Talking about joining Voldemort? That's…well that's just disgusting."

No one knew what to say. It was common knowledge that none of us were particularly fond of Snape. I had always suspected something like this was coming, and never worried too much about it. I only cared that it hurt Lily.

"Maybe Rabastan's full of it," I suggested half-heartedly. "He spends half his time in this castle lying through his teeth."

Even as I said the words, I didn't believe them. It was highly unlikely that Rabastan was lying. Snape seemed exactly like the kind of weak-minded individual who could be swayed by the promise of dark magic and power that Voldemort offered.

"Do you think so?" Lily asked quietly, her voice cracking. A tiny sliver of hope hung on her face. The last shred of hope that believed her childhood friend hadn't completely given over to the Dark Side.

Marlene and Mary were silent beside me. I had a sinkinging suspicion that all three of us were on the exact same page. I didn't want to lie to Lily, but I didn't want to destroy her either.

"I really don't know, Lily," I told her honestly. "I don't know Snape. You do. If you want my advice, I think you should talk to him about it. You can't get upset about anything until you know if it's true."

"Yes, you're right. I have to talk to him. Maybe he can straighten this whole thing out," Lily said nodding her head slowly, "Because if it is true….."

Her words hung in the air, unfinished. All four of us knew exactly what it would mean if it were true. If Snape really had joined the likes of Rabastan Lestrange, then his friendship with Lily was over.

Lily nodded again, more fiercely this time. "Right. Well let's get back under this thing and find the mirror, shall we?" she asked, fanning out the invisibility cloak in her hands.

Mary and I exchanged a quick look.

"Are you sure you're still up to it, Lily?" Mary asked hesitantly. "No one would blame you if wanted to go back to the dormitory and turn in."

Lily shook her dark red hair with a strange amount of certainty. "No. I appreciate it, but no way. We came out here to have fun, and that's what we're going to do. This is exactly what we need."

I knew enough about grief and sadness to know than when someone wanted a distraction, you should always give it to them. If finding the Mirror of Erised would cheer up Lily, then I wanted to do it with her.

"Alright, then," I said encouragingly, doing my best to lighten the mood. "Let's go find out our deepest desires."

The four of us curled up under the cloak again and quietly made our way to the Seventh Floor, not stopping and not saying another word. Luckily, we didn't run into any one else on our way there. Very abruptly, in the middle of the corridor, Lily led us over to a blank wall and stopped, pulling the cloak off of us.

"This is where it's supposed to be," she said eyeing the wall with hesitation, "That is if Potter isn't pulling one over on us."

Her eyes glazed over, no doubt thinking that that might very well be a possibility.

"What do you have to do again to make the room appear?" asked Mary hopefully. From her tone, it was clear she was trying to be a bright and chipper for Lily as possible.

"You just have to really concentrate on what you need and the room will appear and make it happen."

"It works just like that?" Marlene asked mischievously, a grin spreading across her face. "That could be very convenient. Definitely would have helped me and Baxter Thornbottle out last week."

"If you keep thinking like that, the room is going to turn into a bed chamber, Marlene," Mary warned her. Marlene winked in response.

Lily didn't seem to hear them. She was staring at the blank wall completely focused. She let her eyes slipped closed and her mouth parted slightly. She was extremely determined for this outing to go well.

It didn't seem fair to have her be the only one trying. So, I followed her lead and closed my eyes too.

We need to use the Mirror of Erised, I thought firmly, doing my best to clear my head and focus. We really need a pick-me-up.

A sound of crunching stone made my eyes flutter open. A thick set of ornate iron doors had formed in the wall in front of us. Forged into the wall that only moments before had been made of nothing but stone, the Room of Requirement had revealed itself.

It was rare spending so much time in a place like Hogwarts, to see any kind of magic that was new or fascinating to us anymore. It was one of the casualties of the castle. But the magic of the Room of Requirement had somehow managed to surpass this, and render appreciation from each of us.

"Brilliant," Marlene said appreciatively.

Mary stared up at the mirror as if she had never seen anything so fascinating in her entire life.

Lily looked especially thrilled. She moved forward tentatively, opening the door excitedly. The rest of us followed after her into the room, still staring after the doors with a mixture of curiosity and astonishment.

The room that we entered seemed a little dull in comparison to its entrance. It looked like any of the other empty classrooms in the castle, an expansive room of stone walls and floors. I had expected something just as impressive as the doors. This room was dark, with almost no light as we made our way through it.

"And you're sure it's in here?" Marlene asked, as we walked deeper through the shadowy room. Hesitation was written across her face.

"No idea, actually," Lily said, leading the way.

Light had started to shine through the room the deeper into it we went. After a few more steps we realized why.

Leaning against the furthest stone wall, and throwing off a gleaming light of its own, was a stately gold mirror. I now understood why the room was empty. There was nothing that could be placed in this room that could even compare to the mirror. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.

The glass of the mirror was shining and so clear it reflected the entire room back in it, including each of us, though I doubted any one was paying any attention to what we looked like with such a beautiful ornament before them.

It had gold turrets and carvings atop it that stretched all the way to the top of the vaulted ceiling. Each of them seemed to be engraved with some sort of curly writing that I thought might be in Latin. It was imposing, too, standing twice as tall and wide as any one of us.

If the Mirror was very old, it certainly didn't look it. There was not a trace of time on its gilded frame or smooth surface. It looked like it had been bequeathed from the Heavens, like Merlin himself had bequeathed it to this very room only moments before.

It seemed to be giving off its own source of light. The glassy surface threw a bright, shiny haze of light around it, like a halo.

The mirror had rendered each and every one of us silent. We simply stared up at it, floored. That had to be part of the magic of it. It was drawing us towards it. I had an instant longing to touch it. To see it. It felt like every fiber of my being needed to stand before it and look into its polished, lustrous reflection.

Each of us stood hesitantly by the door, watching the mirror with reverence. I couldn't help but think that Hogwarts, A History hadn't done it justice.

"Who wants to go first?" Lily asked, staring directly at it, her eyes glued to it like it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.

"You," Mary said quickly, her eyes glued to the mirror. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

"Definitely you," I added, still feeling the unshakeable draw the mirror seemed to be giving off. This whole thing had been Lily's idea. She definitely deserved the first look.

Marlene was staring at the mirror with appreciation, but she didn't seem to have the obsession with it that the rest of us did. She looked a little unimpressed.

Lily gave a sharp, eager nod and practically skipped over to the mirror. She lingered at the edge of the light it gave off for only a moment before she readied herself and took a proper step towards it.

I watched as she stared deep into the reflective surface of the mirror for a moment her eyes concentrating. It was only a second before her mouth popped open in surprise, her entire face filling with emotion.

"Oh," she whispered happily, her entire face flickering quickly with emotion. "Oh, Wow."

The only thing I could see in the mirror was Lily's reflection, and a little behind her, Mary, Marlene and me. However, the magic of the mirror operated, I couldn't see what Lily was seeing.

"Is it cool?" I asked her softly, seeing the look of pleasure forged on her features. Lily gave a very eager nod.

Lily smiled brighter, staring deeper into the surface of the mirror. Her entire face was lighting up now. She was staring as deeply as she could at the mirror. Her hands moving delicately at her sides as her smile grew wider and wider. Whatever it was she was seeing, was elating her. It was almost contagious. I could feel the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile as I watched her.

"You're killing me with the suspense Lily," Marlene pressed her impatiently. "What do you see?"

"I see me," Lily said, her voice soft and melodious. "I'm sitting with on the floor of a living room, with a beautiful dark-haired baby." She continued to watch the mirror, a dream-like quality forming on her face.

"You're a mom, Lily!" Mary clapped happily.

"A baby?" Marlene asked in equal parts horror and shock. "Merlin, I hope you're old."

Lily didn't dare look away from the mirror as she spoke. "I'm a bit older, I suppose. My hair's longer. Oh look! Petunia's there too! She actually looks pleased. And you three! You're all on the couch. And my parents are there too! And Severus!" Lily's chest rose in excitement, as she bounded up and down. "Everyone looks so happy!"

What Lily was seeing made perfect sense. Lily, who loved first and foremost, saw everyone that she cared about surrounding her. Each of them pleasant and getting along, even those like Petunia and Severus who it seemed highly unlikely would ever be sitting among people like Mary and I willingly.

Lily's hand was now resting on her chest as she started to sway in front of the mirror. Her eyes actually looked a little misty as she watched.

"Tell me, Lils," Marlene started mischievously. "Is there a husband in that picture of yours? Perhaps messy-haired glasses-wearing wearing one that answers to the name of Potter?"

I had to admire Marlene's brazenness. Lily didn't turn away from the mirror but a dark blush had started to cross her cheeks.

"I can't see his face. His back is to me," Lily said quickly, so quickly it sounded an awful lot like a lie. Her eyes didn't move from the reflection. She was clearly enjoying it too much to look away.

"Sure, Lily," Marlene joked, obviously unconvinced. "You keep telling yourself that."

This time, with difficulty, Lily forced her gaze away from the mirror to raise an eyebrow at Marlene.

"If you honestly believe that Potter is what I want above all else, then you're just as cracked as he is, Marlene."

"I'm going to put that in my speech at your wedding."

Both Mary and I chuckled softly as we looked at one another. At the very least, Marlene was doing an excellent job at distracting Lily from what we had heard about Snape. Though, if she kept going like that, she ran the risk of Lily hexing her. Nothing got Lily going more than suggesting she end up with James Potter.

"Looks like it's your turn then, Marlene." Lily shook her head and stepped away from the mirror, casting one more longing look at it. "I hope you see Caradoc in there."

Marlene snorted. "Fat chance of that."

Lily grabbed Marlene and dragged her into the light in front of the mirror, making sure she was looking into properly and then stepped back.

It was clear from the uncertainty in her eyes, that Marlene had her suspicions about the mirror. She straightened herself as she looked at it, playing with and fluffing her honey colored hair. She pursed her lips and continued to stare at her reflection as she would have in any other mirror.

I could see the exact moment that the mirror revealed itself to her. Mid hair flip, Marlene immediately stopped primping herself. The confident sultry look fell from her face and her jaw hung open. She was stunned.

"Well my boobs have gotten bigger," she joked hesitantly, still taking in whatever she was saying. "Oh, Merlin. Wow."

Marlene immediately jumped up and down in place, squealing with absolute delight. The sound of it ricocheted through the empty room like a peal of bells. Her uncertainty had been immediately replaced with the usual level of Marlene enthusiasm.

"I'm a bride!" she shrieked happily. "I'm in a huge, white wedding dress, all made up. And blimey! My veil is twenty feet at least! It's being carried by unicorns!"

Marlene shrieked with delight again and actually stroked the mirror's surface, her eyes locked on the mirror like it was her newest conquest.

"Unicorns?" Lily asked happily. "That sounds beautiful!"

"It is!"

"And there's ballerina's dancing. And a chorus of pixies singing from the trees. And blimey, like two hundred guests. It's even bigger than Meredith's wedding!" Marlene's smile was stretching so wide it looked like it might crack her face in half. I'd never seen her looks so delighted before. "Oh, and there's the groom! Of course, his face is all blurry. Hmm? I suppose it would be too difficult to just show me who it is, huh? Never mind though. It doesn't matter! I'm getting married!"

It was strange how powerful the magic of this mirror seemed to be, and how deeply into people's souls it was able to reach. Marlene, who avoided commitment and partners like the plague, had the desire to settle down. She craved a steady partner someday. A soul mate to love and cherish. And in true Marlene fashion, a giant over-the top celebration of her and her love would follow. I didn't expect any less from her. Marlene didn't do anything perfunctory.

"So, I take it it's not Caradoc Dearborn then?" I joked happily.

Marlene didn't look away from the mirror as she snorted. "He wishes."

"Yes, he does," Lily nodded eagerly, shaking her head at the magnitude of poor Caradoc's unwavering obsession. He made even James look subtle.

Marlene stayed firmly planted in front of the mirror for several more minutes. Sighing with delight every now and then. We let her take her time. Marlene very rarely looked this pleased. And everyone seemed to be happy about the subject matter,

"Is it time for us to choose our bridesmaids dresses yet?" Mary asked her after another moment passed.

Marlene grinned into the mirror. "They'll be pink, of course. I wouldn't want you to clash with the pixies."

"Or the unicorns," I chuckled at the absurdity. If Marlene really did have a wedding. Unicorns would probably only be the beginning. She'd probably have Goblins in the corner hand-making gold place settings.

Marlene transfixed me with a wide grin. "You're only laughing because you haven't tried it," she assured me, "You have to come here."

She cast a long, wistful look into her reflection and then pulled herself away from the mirror, reaching for my hand.

"Oh," I said quickly, " uh…"

The magic of the mirror seemed to be more powerful than I had ever imagined, and now the idea of facing it seemed much more terrifying than it had before. Would if I saw something I didn't like? Or something that upset me. I would probably end up seeing my parents, and that would only do more hurt than good. I wasn't sure if that was something I wanted to see. It was painful enough already.

"You have too," Marlene said firmly, dragging me over to the mirror with a concerning amount of strength. "It's brilliant. Trust me."
She was forceful, pushing me directly into a prominent spot in front of the mirror and stepping back. I took a deep breath as I approached the mirror even closer. I had to face the fact that I couldn't control what I was going to see.

For a minute, all I saw was my own reflection. My white-blonde hair hung long, framing my pale skin like a curtain. My eyes, already abnormally large on their own, were wide with uncertainty and nervousness. It was easy when to forget that this was a magical mirror when looking at your own reflection. My imperfections still stood out to me like usual, flooding into my brain as I stared; Are my eyebrows too dark? Is my top too full to match the bottom?

And suddenly, none of it mattered. The reflection in the mirror had changed and silenced any lingering thoughts about my face that I might have had. My mouth fell open with surprise as I stared at my mother.

My heart immediately ached at the sight of her, sending a spike of both grief and excitement down my chest at the same time.

She was younger here, younger than I remembered her in life. In her late twenties. Maybe thirty. Her hair was cut and expertly styled, sitting just past her shoulders. Her blue eyes just as bright and wide as I remembered, sparkling back at me. It was clear she was an adult. The subtle differences between teenager and woman, showed in her curvier figure and the way she carried herself. Faint lines etched into her face, showed the beginnings of the aging process, and still hadn't detracted from her beauty. Her lips were full and curved into a wide smile as she beamed back at me.

She looked happy. Really happy. It made me miss her all the more.

"What do you see?" Mary asked quietly, trying her best not to pry.

I could barely speak. "I see… my mom." I could hardly tear my eyes away from her.

She carried herself confidently. There were two other people on either side of her, one of them even had his arm around her, but I was too busy looking at her to notice them.

She wore tall, laced, leather boots and thick woolen robes embroidered with silver stitching. The breast of the robes was littered with ribbons, pins and badges. Awards. The largest of the badges was a heavy, silver one that had one word etched into it in thick black letters; Auror.

Auror? That didn't make any sense. My mother had never been an auror. If she had, I would have known. She had worked at Madam Malkins. It was the only job she could get after she had 'disgraced' her family.

I stared closer at the woman in the reflection, growing even more confused by the second. My mum had a cluster of freckled across the bridge of her nose, she'd had them since childhood. This woman, didn't have any. Her nose was different than my mom's too. Smaller, and more upturned. Her jaw was squarer too. Like my dad's.

Realization hit me so hard, I felt like I had been hit with a jinx. My mouth fell open in shock as I looked back at the woman in the mirror and realized exactly who she was.

"It's not my mum, actually," I whispered quietly. "It's… well... it's me."

The woman reflected in the mirror was me. There was no denying it. My features were reflected back to me, disguised slightly by age, but still clearly mine. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before.

"I'm an Auror!" I said happily, a wide smile creeping up my face as I felt an upsurge of pleasure.

"Wow!" said Lily, clapping her hands together excitedly. "That's brilliant!"

Marlene chuckled. "Of course, you are."

Now that I knew the woman in the mirror was me, after all, I felt elated. It was surreal looking at myself like this. As an adult. As an accomplished auror. It was everything I had ever wanted. I could have looked at it all day.

After another minute, I finally tore my eyes away from the reflection of myself to look at the other people on my either side. The one on the left I knew instantly. The large, blonde, one-legged shape of Mad-Eye Moody was easily recognizable. He wore the same black Auror robes I did, with double the badges. He was shaking my hand proudly. I cracked another smile at that.

In his other hand, he held a copy of the prophet which headlines; MURDERER AUBLEUS GREENGRASS CAUGHT AT HANDS OF YOUNG AUROR.

I had caught Aubleus. My heart soared again. I wanted this to be real, desperately. This mirror was reaching into the deepest recesses of my heart and displaying them for me.

I let my eyes drift slowly to the person on my other side and blinked quickly. He had his arm around my waist. When I had thought this was my mother, I had expected that man to be my father. Now that I knew it was me, I felt a twinge of nerves and embarrassment course through me. My cheeks turned pink at the idea of Gideon's face being there. Maybe I'd get lucky and it would be a blurred face like Marlene's.

I slowly forced myself to look at the man there, dressed also in auror robes and similarly aged to my reflection. He was good-looking, with sharp cheekbones, and pronounced grey eyes. A thin mustache and shadow of dark facial hair drew attention to his full, pink lips. His dark hair was tied up, but I could still tell it was curly and fell to his shoulder at least. His arm didn't move from my waist.

It was Sirius.

Aged slightly and looking happier than I had seen him in days, but Sirius Black nonetheless. He kept beaming down at my reflection with pride and admiration. His arm wrapped around my waist like it was permanently fused there.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My deepest desire was to have Sirius in my life in adulthood? How could this be possible? I wasn't even speaking to him right now, let alone being friendly. And the placement of his arm in the reflection seemed to be telling its own story.

I had to forcibly remind myself that this mirror didn't show the future. It only showed us what we wanted. Not that that was much better.

I narrowed my eyes at the reflection, suddenly very irritated with my subconscious, and the mirror by extension. Would it have been that difficult to have just shown me alone? Clearly, I needed to have my head shrunk. Or I was running a fever. Maybe I was hallucinating that part of the reflection.

"What are you seeing now?" Marlene asked curiously, watching the change in my reflection.

"Nothing interesting," I said, still glaring at reflection-Sirius.

"Okay, whatever you say."

This reflection was making less sense to me the longer I looked at it. Sure, I missed Sirius a little, and had things I wanted to tell him, but that didn't matter. I had to ignore that. He had betrayed my trust. I had reason to be angry with him. Even if I had wanted to end our fight, he was acting so testy and infantile I refused to give him the satisfaction.

I focused instead on the other part of the mirror. Me, as an auror. Me with Moody. Not me looking at Sirius Black like he was Godric Gryffindor himself.

It was then, looking at the reflection of myself, with a mentor, a career, and someone I cared for that I realized exactly what it was that I wanted; a future.

I understood it in some sick, twisted sort of way. Becoming an orphan at eleven had taught me that life was short and quick. It could all be taken away in a moment. My family, the people who were supposed to help me build my future, had been cruelly ripped away from me, shattering that dream. It made sense that the thing I wanted more than anything else, was the chance to have a future of my own.

Any hostility I had towards the mirror or what it showed me, dissolved instantly. What I was seeing, was comforting. I supposed it was a nice idea, even if the sight of aged Sirius made my chest tighten uncomfortably. I gave the scene before me one last fleeting look, and a smile to match before I turned away from it.

"All yours, Mary."

Mary, who had waited patiently for all three of us to look into the mirror, had practically skipped over to the gilded mirror, beaming at it like it was the most exciting thing she had ever done.

"Exhilarating, huh?" Lily asked, as I stood beside her. She still looked flushed, her cheeks pink and happy. Marlene was staring off into the corner, still clearly thinking about what she had seen.

I nodded eagerly at Lily, my heart and head still racing in equal measure. "It was fantastic, Lily," I told her firmly. "Probably the best idea you've ever had. Thank you."

Lily gave a noncommittal shake of her head, still smiling. You don't have to thank me. It was just a suggestion. I suppose you could thank James. But who really wants to ever thank Potter? He always manages to turn it into a hour long affair…"

"Are you implying that James Potter can't gracefully take a compliment?" I asked in false horror. "How dare you, Lily? That's blasphemous!"

Lily snorted before she could stop herself. "Forgive me. I don't know what I was thinking."

"So, help me, Mary. If you see Landon in there, I do not want to hear about it!" Marlene called to her from the corner, looking horrified at the thought.
Mary grinned mischievously into the mirror. "So, I'm not supposed to tell you that he's naked and making me a cup of tea?"

Lily and I both burst into laughter as Marlene turned three shades of green, and proceeded to pretend to vomit in the corner of the room.

"I hate you, Mary."

"I love you too, Marlene."

Mary turned back to the mirror, engrossed once again in her own reflection, as Lily shook her head. After a moment, Mary let out a shriek of surprise, her dark eyes lighting up at what the Mirror was showing her. She tore herself away from it long enough to look at each of us for a second, shouting "Blimey! I think the war's over! Yes, it is. I can see it on the prophet. It says Dumbledore defeated You-Know-Who!"

She had turned back to the mirror immediately, a smile crossing her face as she continued to stare.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what I had seen as we waited for Mary to finish. The idea was too addictive. It was exactly what I wanted. Even when it came to Sirius I supposed. As angry as I was with him, I did miss him a lot. I wanted this fight to be over. The moment he started acting like an adult again, I would talk to him about it. I liked the idea of someday having a future that Sirius was a part of. One way or another.

"Lily?" I called quietly. She was watching Mary with a soft smile and turned to face me quickly. "Yeah?"

I shifted on my heels. "Do you think that what we saw in that Mirror could really happen?" I asked her quietly, feeling an intense amount of hope at the idea. "I know it doesn't necessarily show the future, but it's possible, isn't it?"

Lily chewed on her bottom lip for a moment as she pondered the thought. She was weighing it back and forth, her head turning as she mulled it over.

"I don't see why not," she said after a minute. "I know some people see things that could never happen, like seeing dead loved ones. But if it is possible, then it could always happen. I mean, if you want something bad enough, you can usually make it happen."

She stopped for a moment, her eyes sparkling at an idea, and then turned back to me.

"Why?" she asked comfortingly. "Are you worried about becoming an auror?"

I immediately felt a blush cut across my cheeks. I had been thinking more along the lines of the Sirius issue, but didn't know if I wanted to tell Lily that. Becoming an Auror seemed a hundred times easier than sorting out all of the issues I had with Sirius.

"Or is it other things?" Lily asked with a raised red, eyebrow. From the expression on her face, it looked like she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yeah," I said nodding my head nervously. "Other things."

"Well," Lily said turning back to face Mary. "Can I just say that if you ever did want to resolve the situation with the other thing, I think he'd be more than willing. He's been downright irritating since everything between you went sour."

. I had no idea how Lily knew it had been Sirius I was talking about, but she seemed absolutely sure. She always had had an uncanny ability to always know what was going on with me. She sometimes knew me better than I did.

"Maybe," I sighed. The situation seemed more complicated every time I thought about it. I wasn't any closer to a solution now then I had been when it first happened.

Lily squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. "Either way, it'll all work out, you know. And if it doesn't, you always have the three of us."

I flashed her an honest smile. "Yeah, I know. I wouldn't be able to get through each day if I didn't."

Across the room, Mary had just torn herself away from the Mirror, looking extremely pleased. She had spent the longest out of all of us, looking at the reflection, but no one minded. We all knew how intoxicating and satisfying it was.

"Finally tore yourself away, did you?" Marlene joked, lifting herself from her crouched position on the floor.

Mary grinned at her. "Yes, I am. I figured why keep staring at your naked brother in the mirror when I can go and see the real thing?"

"EW!"

Lily and I had to duck out of the way as Marlene lobbed her wand at a chuckling Mary. It missed her by inches and sent gold sparks shooting across the room when it hit the stone floor. Mary smiled at it triumphantly, obviously pleased with herself as Marlene elbowed her in the ribs.

Lily shook her head at our dorm mates, but could scarcely hide her smile. "Come on, let's get out of here, before Filch shows up."

---

What we had seen in the Mirror of Erised had elated all four of us so much that we were in a considerably better mood for the next few days than most of the other fifth years.

Lily had even been cordial when she returned James' invisibility cloak to him the following morning. And to her credit, didn't hex James when he asked if she had seen his face in the Mirror.

The joy from the Mirror had served as a nice distraction from our exams, but the moment we were back in classes it was impossible to forget that the exams were coming. On our Friday morning Transfiguration lesson, Professor McGonagall had explained exactly how our exams would go. They would take place over the next two weeks, with theory portions in the morning and the practical's in the afternoon. That, seemed to ease some of Odie Macmillan's stress, but had reduced poor Pandora Rabnott to tears.

Our first exam was Charms and set to take place bright and early on Monday morning. I didn't mind starting with Charms. I liked charms and was pretty decent at it, but for others like Marlene who always regarded the lessons as a perfect place to chit chat, it was foreboding.

We spent most of the weekend curled up in the Common Room, pouring over five years of notes and textbooks. Marlene was skipping meals to cram in more library time, and Mary had been shut up in Landon's dormitory forcing him to quiz her with flashcards.

Lily and I had joined forces with Remus, commandeering an entire corner of the Common Room to study.

Remus ended up being a great study partner. He was a great listener and would review whatever you needed too. The two of us often studied one on one when Lily would leave to review with Severus in the library. Something Marlene gritted her teeth over.

What we had heard in the Hallway the other night seemed to have been resolved in Lily's mind. She had gone and found Severus bright and early the next day, and had come back a few hours later after in a perfectly fine mood, making me wonder what kind of lies he had fed her.

As hesitant as I was to believe that Rabastan was telling the truth, it seemed more than likely that he was. Severus had always been strange, but this had moved past strange. He seemed dangerous now. Especially if he was lying to Lily.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Severus Snape was aligning himself with Death Eaters, and as much as I wanted to discuss with Lily, I decided to keep my mouth shut until after exams. Lily was stressed enough without worrying about the morality of her childhood friends.

James, Sirius and Peter had tried to join us in studying several times over the weekend but left every time when Lily threatened to turn Peter into a pocket watch. I was glad for that. The Marauders, apart from Remus, tended to be a bit distracting in general, but Sirius especially. Ever since I had seen his face in the mirror, I didn't know how to behave around him. I wasn't as angry as I had been before, but I certainly wasn't ready to forgive him wither. It left me confused and conflicted, and I didn't have time to be either. I needed to focus on my O.W.L.s.

The Gryffindors weren't the only ones who were completely engrossed in their studying. It didn't seem to matter where you went in the castle during the weekend, every five feet there was a cluster of fifth years sobbing into a textbook or desperately trying to levitate a galleon.

Every conversation seemed to be composed of people silently whispering the twelve uses of Dragon's blood or embarking on the impossible task of keeping Goblin names straight.

By the time Sunday night rolled around, there wasn't a single fifth year who looked calm or rested. The tables in the Great Hall were littered with open textbooks and quills. The sixth and fourth years looked sorry for the rest of the rest of us, and the Seventh years were just as stressed. Carmichael McKinnon kept sighing into a copy of Advanced Runes Translation.

"You'll make it through fine. The exams always seem harder than they are," Hestia assured Lily, who was attempting to eat without tearing her eyes away from the Transfiguration textbook in front of her.

"Don't lie to her, Hest, they were absolutely brutal," Otto said shaking his head as he took a sip of Pumpkin Juice. He looked physically pained as he watched Caradoc Dearborn throw a leaflet of notes away in irritation.

"Especially that History of Magic one," Fabian added seriously, looking white at the memory. "Nearly killed me that one did. I only finished about half the questions."

Fabian was sporting a fresh black eye from Quidditch practice the day before and still looked more apprehensive at the idea of exams. I suppose given the choice, I'd rather dodge a bludger than sit through my Herbology exam.

Marlene let out a loud groan and let her head fall onto the open book in front of her, utterly exasperated, and began to sob.

"The Potions one was the hardest," Krysten said, as she applied a fresh coat of lipstick to her mouth, she only seemed to be half-listening to the conversation. "Dropped that class the moment I was able too."

"No way," Nora said beside her. "Potions was easy compared to Charms." She shuddered visibly.

Beside her, Gideon shook his head. "Transfiguration was hand's down the hardest of the bunch."

"I thought Divination was terrible myself," Landon said, joining the table with Mary at his side. She was buried so deeply in a copy of notes that he had to physically help her onto the bench.

"You lot are not helping, you know," I pointed out, looking up from my defense notes. "You're going to reduce Marlene to hysterics."

Marlene hadn't remerged from her dry sobbing. Her face was resting in her book, only a mass of bright, yellow hair was visible. Lily pat her head over my shoulder.

"Like you have anything to worry about," Gideon said, cracking a smile in my direction. "I saw you last week. You knew everything already. You're perfect, Doe."

Beside him, both Nora and Fabian looked up with interest, and Otto raised an eyebrow, as my cheeks turned slightly pink.

It had been quite the compliment. I knew he had been referring to my knowledge about the classes, but the way he had said it sounded like he meant a little more than that.

Across the table, I thought I might have seen Sirius look up from whatever piece of parchment was holding the Marauders attention.

"We'll see if you still feel that way after I fail all of my exams," I joked, offering him a smile and then immediately looking back down at my notes.

"If anyone is failing here, it's me," Marlene said miserably, finally rejoining the conversation. "I bet even Reginald Cattermole does better than me."

She shot a look at the Hufflepuff table, where Reggie was sat alone, pointing his wand at the goblet in front of him. In seconds, he had managed to set fire to it.

"I highly doubt that," Otto chuckled across the table, watching as Charity Burbage dumped half a flagon of Pumpkin Juice on the goblet to keep it from setting their house table aflame. "That blokes a real duffer."

"Yeah, well. So am I, apparently."

"You are not a duffer, Marlene," Caradoc said firmly from two seats away. He had clearly been eavesdropping, as he always did when it concerned Marlene. Marlene cast one odd look at him and then turned back to the rest of us, as if he had never spoken at all.

"Don't worry sister," Landon said clapping Marlene on the back. "If you fail, you can always marry rich."

Marlene's eyes narrowed at him. "If you say that one more time I am going to bury my wand up so far up your- "

"I beg of you, please don't finish that sentence," Lily implored softly, looking up from the top of her book.

Marlene opened her mouth to say something cheeky when her amber eyes went wide as an owl's. She let out a shriek that caused half the table to look up in earnest.

"Look!" She screeched pointing at the doors to the Great Hall.

Four aged witches and wizards had sauntered into the Hall, shedding off tremendous coats. Each of them were wearing thick velvet purple robes with matching flat circular hats. They looked to be at least a hundred years old, though they did seem rather spry for their ages.

"Are those the examiners?" Lily asked nervously, clutching her wand for support.

Gideon nodded. "Yeah I recognize them from last year. That one with the silver ponytail's name is Tofty. He ran my defense practical."

The one named Tofty, was now engaging in a tight, very friendly hug with Professor Marchbanks, who had left the high table with Dumbledore to greet them.

"Make sense that Professor Marchbanks knows them," I said watching as Professor Dumbledore conjured four additional chairs in the front of the room for them. "She used to be an examiner too, didn't she?"

"She was mine for Charms," Hestia said shaking her head. "And she's a tough old bird, let me tell you. Flat out told me I'd better hope for Quidditch fame with my shoddy wand-work."

"She actually said that?" Lily asked, her eyes wide with disbelief. Hestia nodded.

"I'm doomed," Marlene whined again.

"To be fair Hestia, you're dead awful at Charms," Landon reminded her. She narrowed her eyes at him with such venom it made Otto look green.

"Good on a broom though!" Landon added encouragingly, making her eyes soften again.

"Great, actually," I assured her. Hestia smiled and took a large bite of carrots, looking haughty as she did.

As the examiners took their seats and began to eat, the conversation drifted away from exams and moved onto Quidditch. A topic I normally loved discussing but found myself too worried to get deeply into.

By the time the next morning rolled around, there was a palpable tension in the Great Hall. Our Exams began right after breakfast, and the Hall was a buzz with people nervously discussing the exams or quizzing one another last minute.

"Make sure you eat something with protein," Lily reminded us, scooping hearty amounts of eggs and sausage on our plates. "Brain food."

Mary frowned as she bit into a kipper. "At this point, I sincerely doubt a kipper is going to save me, Lils."

"Well try anyway."

I closed the open Charms book in front of me and took a big bite of eggs. "That's it. I'm officially done studying for this. I either know it or I don't."

"You do know it," Lily reminded me. "We are all going to be fine."

"Say that again, slowly," Marlene said, downing her entire glass of pumpkin juice. I'd never seen her look so stressed before. Her right leg was bouncing up and down with nerves.

When breakfast finally ended, McGonagall ushered all of the fifth years into the entrance hall to wait and disappeared into the Great Hall with the examiners.

Lily, Marlene, Mary and I sat cross-legged on the floor, our heads leaning back against the stone wall trying not to worry about what we were going to do.

The Marauders were standing on the other end of the corridor where they had assembled a crowd of people. It seemed James had transfigured Peter's book bag into a swan, and the other fifth years were watching it run around and caw, grateful for the distraction. My friends and I had no interest in joining in. It would mean close proximity to James, which Lily didn't want, and Sirius, which made me anxious. So, we opted to sit as far away as possible. Thankfully, Marlene seemed to be too nervous to complain about this.

"The worst thing that happens is we fail and have to take them, again right?" Mary asked quietly.

She looked like she was trying to be optimistic, but it didn't reach her eyes. "That's not so bad, right?"

Lily gave a grave nod. "You have to repeat the year, though."

"Be a fifth year again?" Marlene asked, floored. "I'd rather die. I think I'd just drop out and move to America or something."

"What would you do in America?" I asked, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the idea. "Go to Ilvermony?"

I didn't know much about the wizarding school in North America. Any foreign wizards our age I had ever met had come from Beauxbatons or Durmstrang.

"Ilvermony? Please." Marlene shook her head confidently. "There's no way I'd go to a different school. I'd be an actress. All the muggleborns in my muggle studies class are always going on and on about them. They're all incredibly beautiful, of course."

Lily and Mary had both been overcome with a fit of giggles as Marlene detailed her plans for a life in Hollywood, and accidently called movies, smoothies.

"I suppose she could always be in Bewitched," Mary said with a laugh and Lily responded with a hearty chuckle. "Good one, Mary. That's funny."

Marlene turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "What in the Merlin's name are they going on about? What's Bewitched?"

Marlene often turned to me for information on Muggle things. I knew some of them from the orphanage and my dad before that, but I didn't know everything. And I had no idea what this Bewitched was.

"No idea, Marls," I said shrugging.

Whatever it was, it had delighted both Lily and Mary, and it took another minute before they had stopped laughing long enough to rejoin the conversation.

"Not to crush your plan, Marlene, but do you know the first thing about how muggles make movies?" Lily asked with a giggle.

"I know enough," Marlene said half-heartedly.

"Do you know what a VHS is?" I asked, unable to stop chuckling at the idea of Marlene surrounded my muggle technology.

I'd once seen her become absolutely astounded at one of Lily's desk lamps, flipping the switch over and over until the poor thing short-circuited.

Marlene blinked at me. "Please stop trying to ruin my back-up plan, Meadowes. It's all I've got."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry. If you do fail all your exams, which you won't, but if you do, I'll teach you what I know about muggle movies okay?"

"Deal."

No one had time to say anything else. Our happy conversation had distracted us all it was capable of doing, and now it was time to the take the exam. The doors to the Great Hall had opened and Professor McGonagall was now ushering us all into the room. The nervous flutters had returned, and everyone had taken to saying a few final words of good luck as we headed inside.

The Great Hall had been transformed before our eyes. Instead of the usual four long house tables, now sat a hundred tiny single desks, arraigned in four long rows. McGonagall ushered each of us into an empty desk and when everyone was seated she took to the front of the room.

"Now, I know you are all nervous, but you needn't be," she said firmly, readjusting her glasses. "I have my every confidence that you will all do fine. You have two hours."

At her words, a large clock in the front of the room clicked loudly and begun to move. She flicked her wand quickly and a hundred rolled up scrolls, quills and ink levitated down the rows in front of us.

The moment my scroll landed in front of my I opened it and found a hundred and fifty evenly printed questions;

1) What is the charm used to light your wand?

2) What charm would you use to make your quill slow dance?

3) What charm is used to make something explode?

I took a deep breath, relieved that I knew the first few answers and started to scribble away. Time passed quickly, and by the time the two hours were up, I had checked my answers twice, satisfied that I passed this exam.

Professor McGonagall had summoned the exams the moment the clock ran out and there were cries of protest as she did. Della Templeton looked like she was going to run after hers but took to nervously hiccupping instead. It took nearly ten minutes to make sure all of the exams were accounted for, and then the group of us were ushered back out into the Entrance Hall to wait for the practical's.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I expected," Lily said as we left the room. "Did you remember the charm to make a cantaloupe dance? I had no idea."

"It's groovium fruits," I told her quickly. "Not that I can ever think of a single occasion that we need to use that."

"Please, let's not talk about it, okay?" Marlene said, curling up in a ball against the stone wall. She looked drained, and the rest of us followed suit waiting for them to call our names.

It went in alphabetical order. The first person called was Jonas Avery, and it was entertaining to his normally smug face look a little nervous as he entered the room with Damocles Belby and Narcissa Black following suit.

No one who was called reappeared, and that seemed to make everyone else very nervous. I noticed that even Sirius looked a little white when his name was called after his cousins. Lily, Mary and Marlene were all called before me, so I sat quietly on the ground by myself, trying not to let myself get worked up as waited.

"You look nervous," James said plopping down beside me on the stone floor. I had been staring

off into space and hadn't noticed him approaching. Peter was, as usual, following him around like a pet.

"That might have something to do with the fact that I am nervous," I told him evenly.

Of all the people, I wanted to talk to right now, James Potter wasn't very high up on the list. I had been content to just sit here in silence.

"I'd say that would do it," James chuckled, "Not that you should be. You tutor people in Charms for Merlin's sake. Sirius would probably be failing right now if you hadn't drilled half the textbook into his head."

I felt my cheeks get hot in anger at the mention of Sirius and James seemed to notice. His eyes moved quickly and then he nodded. "Ah, right. I forgot that's a sore subject for you."

He seemed slightly amused. Like he knew something that I didn't.

I turned and raised one of my eyebrows. "It's not a sore subject for me," I told him sternly, "I'm not the one acting like a petulant child about it."

James sighed and Peter watched with interest, snacking on a cauldron cake.

I didn't like what James was suggesting. I hadn't done anything to Sirius. I was the one who had been betrayed. I had reason to be mad. I was being mature about this whole thing. I wasn't stomping around the castle throwing him dirty looks or making out with half the house in front of him.

James looked at me and cracked a wide grin. "No, you just walk out of the room every time he's enters it." He shook his head like he was exasperated.

"I don't walk out every time…" I told him crossing my arms. I hated discussing this with him. I felt outnumbered.

James grinned. "Nine times out of ten, Meadowes. We keep track. In a cute little journal with your name on it."

Peter burst out into a fit of giggling at his words that made James grin wider. I rolled my eyes so hard they felt like they were going to roll out of my head.

"Oh, shut it, James."

James smiled. "All I'm saying is you're both being stupid. I think you should just get over it and make up. Make it easier on the rest of us."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He had some nerve. I always knew he would say some outrageous things to Lily, but I had thought she was just a weakness for him. I hadn't realized it was a personality trait of his.

"I think you should skive off."

James smiled and shook his head. "I'm only trying to help, Meadowes. Someday you'll thank me."

"You can help me by butting out of my personal life, James."

On the tail of what I had seen in the mirror the other night, James words felt like they were ringing inside of my skull. How was it that Sirius managed to be a constant irritation, even when he wasn't around?

"Ah. Now I see why you and Lily are such good friends," James chuckled softly. "You sounded just like her there."

"You know what they say," I told him, "birds of a feather get irritated by James Potter together."

James loud enthusiastic laughter richoeted across the hall, while Peter stared at me with a wide-mouthed smile.

The door to the Entrance Hall opened again and Professor McGonagall looked down at her scroll of names. "Meadowes, Dorcas - Montague, Sylvia – Mulciber, Sebastian."

I got up from my cozy spot on the floor and quietly followed Sylvia and Sebastian into the Great Hall, ignoring the flash of unpleasantness I felt at hearing my given name. The Examiners were all gathered around, and Professor McGonagall ushered me over to a long black-haired witch with a kind smile.

"Ms. Meadowes, this is Professor Tallywog. She will be your examiner for the Charms practical. Good luck," Professor McGonagall said and gave me an encouraging push forward.

Professor Tallywog gave me a wide, toothy smile. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Meadowes."

Ignoring the pit of nerves in my stomach I reached out to shake her hand. "You as well, thank you."

"Meadowes was it?" Professor Tallywog asked again. "I may have examined your father once upon a time ago. Great at Herbology, he was. Hope you inherited that. Not that that'll help you much with Charms, now will it?" She chuckled and I felt my stomach tighten further. The last thing I wanted to think about right now was my father.

"I don't think so," I told her with a smile, silent thanking Merlin that she wasn't my Herbology examiner. She would be highly disappointed if she saw me anywhere near a plant.

Professor Tallywog smiled again, "Okay Dorcas, now if you could just summon that tea cup for me and then give it legs?"

I knew exactly how to do that. Feeling light with relief, I offered her a wide smile and raised my wand, "Accio Teacup!"

---

The rest of the exams were just as stressful and nerve-wracking as Charms had been. We had had Herbology next, the exam I had been dreading the most. The theory exam had gone fine. I had never had a problem with that, but by the time I got to the practical I was so nervous I knocked over Mulciber and an entire table of potted Honking Daffodils, stalling the exam for five minutes while the examiners mended the pots and vanished the dirt. When it did get back on track, I was still mortified. I managed to repot my mandrake well enough, but did have an unfortunate incident where it grabbed hold of my wand and tried to blast the glass out of one of the windows. I was only glad Professor Sprout hadn't been there to see it.

Potions was next and went fine enough. The theory wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and my shrinking solution turned out around the right color in the practical, so I was pleased. Marlene wasn't so lucky. She left the room with her hair three times as large as normal and white as a ghost. She wouldn't even talk about what had happened in the room. As expected, Lily left both the theory and practical glowing with excitement. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she had just earned an Outstanding O.W.L.

The rest of the exams went well enough too. Care of Magical Creatures was a breeze thanks to Gideon's help. And Marlene had remerged from Muggle Studies thrilled that toasters had been on the exam, and she had known what they were. Mary and Lily had assured us both that they're Ancient Runes exam had gone well too. History of Magic went as expected. It was difficult keeping all of the goblins names straight, but I thought I got most of the dates right. The hardest part of Astronomy was trying to stay up to midnight during the actual exam. Amelia had yawned throughout the entire thing to the point where Madam Pompfrey had brought her a strong brewed cup of coffee.

Marlene and I delighted in the divination exam, using the crystal balls to predict our own gruesome yet exciting lives that had our examiners clapping excitedly.

After a week and a half of exams, we were all getting very exhausted. We only had two left. Defense and Transfiguration.

The exam I was most looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts. This was the exam I needed to do the best on if I was going to make it as an auror. I was actually excited about it. The order was switched for this one to accomplish an Arithmancy exam that had run long and so we had done out practical's first. I was thrilled when Professor Tofty asked me to perform a shield charm, and three minutes later clapped happily telling me that the curse he used should have knocked me out three times over. By the time we got to the theory portion, I felt ready.

Flitwick was in charge of proctoring the defense exam and sat happily in front of the room as we tore into it.

I grinned as I read the first few questions;

1) How does one conjure a shield charm and when should they be used?

2) How and under what circumstances would you disarm someone?

3) How do you use the redactor curse and what does it achieve?

I began scribbling quickly and soon became completely absorbed in the exam. I had just finished the answer to my last question when Professor Flitwick squeaked "Five more minutes!"

It made my jump slightly. Professor Flitwick's tiny body was bobbing through the desks. He offered me a comforting smile when he passed and kept moving.

Confident with my answers, I let myself look around the room. Mary was finished too, staring off out the sun-stroked window to her left. Lily was reading over her answers, flipping through the scrolls casually. She looked calm enough, chewing on the end of her quill as did. Marlene was sat in front of me and kept sighing as she scratched things out with furiously.

I let my gaze drift past them. Snape was only a few seats past me, and he was still completely absorbed in the exam. His hand scribbled incredibly fast against the page, his nose pressed against the scroll as he did. I felt an immediate upsurge of dislike as I looked at him. It didn't matter how much time had passed, I still couldn't shake what I had heard Rabastan say about him. Either Snape had been lying to Rabastan in order to impress him, or he really was going to join the cause. Neither reflected well on him.

Tired of thinking about Snape's allegiance, I looked past him. Remus was still rereading his answers, scratching his chin with his quill and Peter was shuffling anxious in his seat.

James was already finished, doodling on a spare bit of paper mindlessly. Behind him was Sirius. He was leaning back in his chair, looking haughty and bored. Imogen Warbeck was sitting behind him, eyeing him hopefully, but he didn't seem to have noticed.

He looked more tired than he usually did. He was staring off into ahead of him. He turned mindlessly in my direction and noticed me watching him. For a second the corners of his mouth turned upward into a smile and then he immediately stopped, as if remembering he didn't want to smile at me.

It was strange how quickly his expression changed. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed as he shook his head in annoyance. I sighed not even remotely in the mood to deal Sirius or his tantrums. He was acting like I had done something wrong. What. An. Idiot.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. Accio!"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed, James and Sirius among them. In the front row, Amelia and Amos got up and hoisted Professor Flitwick back up by his elbows.

"Thank you….thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

The moment he said these words, everyone moved to the door. Clustering in an attempt to get out of the room and breathe freely.

"I have never been so glad to be done with an exam," Marlene sighed happily, approaching my table, her bag already slung over her shoulder. "I honestly could not have answered half of that if I had the textbook open in front of me."

"Don't worry, Marlene. You did fantastic on the practical," I reminded her. "Your body bind jinx is the strongest I've ever seen."

Marlene beamed. "I did do great, didn't I?"

"Brilliant," I assured her, as she threw an arm over my shoulder. We met Mary and Lily at the door, shoved between Snape and the Marauders.

"It's beautiful outside today," Mary said happily. "Can we go sit out on the grounds? I promise we can study there too."

"I'd love to go to the grounds and not study," Marlene added enthusiastically.

Lily snorted and offered her a smile. "Were almost done, Marlene. This is the home stretch."

"I can even read the notes to you, if you'd like," I offered. Marlene sighed and nodded "Fine, but I'm not quizzing any of you…"

Out on the grounds, the weather was particularly fantastic. It was the first warm, sunny day we had had in months, and made it feel like summer already.

It seemed most of the year had the same idea as we did. The grass was littered with fifth, sixth and seventh years all sprawled out enjoying the sunshine.

"Ooh! The lake!" Mary said excitedly. "Let's go cool our feet."

"What about the squid?" Marlene asked hesitantly, the look on her face suggested she wasn't quite over the time we had wrestled the giant leeches out of the lake.

Lily shook her head. "Oh Marlene, the squid won't bother us any. Look he's enjoying the sun too!"

In the distance, we could all the see the giant squid sitting on the surface of the water, it's face turned up towards the sun.

The four of us made our way to the edge of the lake and took off our socks and shoes, letting our bare feet rest in the cool water.

"Now this is lovely," I said, leaning back and sunning my face.

"I could get used to this," Marlene agreed, splashing her feet at Lily, who was somehow already absorbed in her Transfiguration book.

"I'm only going to read one more chapter, I promise," Lily said, not looking up from it.

"Right, and I'm a hippogriff," Mary chuckled softly. Lily flashed her a soft smile.

I left my head lean back and look across the grounds. It seemed the entire year was out today, even the Slytherins.

A large group of Hufflepuffs were sitting on a patchwork quilt on the hill. Amelia waved to me quickly, before turning back to her friends, Charity and Gwenog. A cluster of Ravenclaw boys were all immersed in Transfiguration textbooks under a tree, only a few feet away from where the Marauders were sitting.

"This feels like when I'm at my Grans house in the south of France," Marlene purred. "It's all sand and sea there. I never want to leave. It makes me yearn for summer."

Mary nodded eagerly. "I love the South of France. Mum and Dad took Julie and I last year. It was gorgeous."

"Are you still going to Germany this summer?" Marlene asked her casually. Mary gave a triumphant nod.

"To visit my Aunt Shirley. I'm so excited about it actually…"

I felt my eyes glaze over as Marlene and Mary excitedly discussed their upcoming summer vacations. The closer it got to the end of the year, the more dread I started to feel. It wasn't that I hated the orphanage really, but in comparison to Hogwarts, it always felt drab and lonely. There was something really awful about spending several months at a time with no family, friends or magic. It wasn't all the orphanage's fault. When I was at school, it was harder to miss my parents. The orphanage was a constant daily reminder that they were gone

Lily looked up from her book and met my face. She gave me a soft smile, like she had known exactly how this conversation would make me feel.

"You know, I had mum write to Dumbledore again," she said quickly, closing the book in her lap. "About staying with us over the summer. She's waiting on a response."

I felt a quick upsurge of hope. Staying at Lily's was always the best part of my summers, even if it only was for a few weeks.

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"Of course. It wouldn't be summer without you."

I couldn't hide how wide my smile was. "Petunia will be thrilled," I said excitedly.

Lily's sister's dislike for me was clear and well-documented. Making her constantly uncomfortable was one Lily and I's favorite summer hobbies. All we had to do was leave a wand on the table and watch her shriek with anger and horror.

Lily grinned mischievously. "That's just a fringe benefit."

"Expelliarmus!"

The sound of someone loudly casting a spell made all four of us turn around quickly.

"Who was that?" Mary asked.

"Impedimenta!"

Several of the students on the grounds were on there feet now, watching whatever was going on by one of the oaks trees. The one where the Marauders had been sitting only moments ago.

"Who could be stupid enough to be dueling now?" Lily asked in exasperation. "The weather's too beautiful to have anything to fight about it."

The crowd parted and our question was answered. The Marauders were all on their feet, wands drawn and standing across from Snape. The latter was clearly in trouble. Panting on the ground, several feet away from his own wand. James and Sirius both advanced on him with their own wands drawn. As much as I disliked him, four on one felt incredibly unfair. Even if Peter and Lupin were only watching. James looked back over his shoulder towards us and then immediately turned back to Snape.

"For Merlin's sake!" Lily hissed, her face turning purple as she roughly shoved her shoes back on her feet.

"Uh oh," Marlene said quietly, knowing exactly where this was going. The rest of us dragged our feet from the lake, gathering our things.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James loudly.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Peter sniggered loudly and several people surrounding them laughed. The Hufflepuffs in particular. It was a testament to how much Snape was disliked. The Hufflepuffs usually stayed out of this sort of thing. I could hear Lily huffing angrily as she shoved her other shoe on. I knew the look on her face. She was going to end this herself.

Snape was still trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling as though bound by invisible ropes.

Lily was on her feet now and charging up the hill towards the five of them. It looked like steam was about to start pouring out of her ears.

Marlene, Mary and I tore down the grass after her, knowing that if she was about to interrupt a Snape v. Marauder fight, she might need some help.

"You- wait," Snape panted, staring up at James with hatred. "You-wait…."

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes but his wand being ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourigfy!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him-

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted loudly.

She had just reached the five of them. Mary and I immediately went to follow her, but Marlene outstretched her arms, stopping us and shaking her head.

"She needs to sort this out for herself," she whispered quietly.

James and Sirius both looked around, and Jame's free hand flew to his hair again.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice suddenly changed. It became deeper, and more charming, the way it always did when Lily was around.

I caught Sirius' eye for half a second, and he grinned harder. He was proud of himself.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated to James. She was looking at him with more fury and dislike than usual. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean….."

Many of the surrounding students watched, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus was still focused on his book. He was purposefully avoiding looking up from it. He looked guilty.

"You think you're funny," Lily said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"Point Lily," Marlene whispered happily under her breath. It seemed like she might be enjoying this a little bit, the way she always did the Marauder's antics. I looked quickly to Mary. She looked exactly as anxious as I felt.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans" said James quickly. "Go on….Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

I scowled. James really did know exactly how to get under Lily's skin. I could feel her anger from here.

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soap buds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. "OY!"

But it was too late, Snape had directed his wand straight at James, there was a flash of light and a

gash appeared on James' cheek, spattering his robes with blood.

All of the watchers gasped, as James spun around and a second flash of light ripped through the

air.

Snape was hanging upside down in the air. His robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

All of the watchers around us cheered, even Marlene and Mary. I felt immensely torn. Snape was vile, but this seemed unfairly cruel.

James, Sirius, and Peter were roaring with laughter. Lily, who had surprised me by looking like she was about to smile, said. "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he quickly got to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said "Petrificulus Totales!" and Snape keeled over again, stiff as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had drawn her own wand now. James and Sirius both eyed it warily.

"Ah Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

This made, Marlene and I draw our own wands. Like we'd really let James or Sirius get away with that.

Lily looked unphased. "Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.

"There you go," He said as Snape struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

The air outside seemed to still instantly. My hand flew to my mouth and Mary let out a strange little hiss. Marlene practically growled.

Everyone looked to Lily. I half expected her to fly into a rage. But she didn't

She simply blinked. "Fine," she said cooly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

Severus looked like he had slapped her. I suppose her use of that nickname was the same to him. I couldn't feel badly for him, though. Not after what he had said to her. Snape had dug his own grave.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared loudly at Snape, his wand pointed threatingly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

Lily looked more enraged now. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you, just because you can. – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK."

It was clearly everything Lily had always wanted to say to James but had withheld. She looked vindicated, and upset all at the same time. She turned on her heels and hurried away without another word.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

Lily didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying to look as if this question wasn't important to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right-.."

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Marlene and Mary cheered. I didn't stay to find out whether or not Snape did lose his pants. I tore off towards the castle. It didn't matter to me what happened to Snape. I had to make sure Lily was okay.