In A Breath

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWE, the story is mine.

Rating: R, for violence and rape

Summary: Christian turned his back on his brother, on his career and on his company, was it really all because he was jealous of his brother's success? Or was he trying to escape from something…or someone?

Spoilers: Up to and including Vengeance.

Setting: This starts the day before Vengeance, but we will be taking a trip back in time every now and again.

Feedback: Always appreciated

E-mail:

Yahoo! Group: KyiziFic

Notes: This idea came into my head after reading Karen U's fic, "It Only Hurts" where she gave Jericho a reason for being, well, an ass, I began to wonder if maybe Christian had a reason…

(Matt and Lita aren't dating in this one and they're both at Vengeance backstage for the purposes of this fic!)

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Part Twenty

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"It's over," Christian whispered, his fingers clutching at the paper so hard that his knuckles were white. "I can't believe it's finally over." Tears were streaming down his face, tumbling onto the paper and staining the letters into a blur of nothing. They no longer read anything, they were just a blob in the centre of the page. Just like William Regal was nothing to him anymore. Just a blur in the back of his mind.

He had had to face his worst fear, the one man that had ruined his life. He wasn't sure how many people in life could honestly say that, but he could and he had. He had done it. He had faced him, and he had survived.

The case had taken months to go through the court. Not through lack of evidence, but Regal had hired a very competent lawyer that seemed able to draw anything out. In the end, the case only made court so quickly because of Vince McMahon's interference.

He never thought he'd see the day when he'd be that grateful to Vince McMahon, the day he had been given his job paled in comparison, and Christian had been willing to worship the man for that. To be fair, it wasn't an act of compassion on McMahon's part, more an act of 'this isn't doing anything for business and I want it over as soon as possible', but Christian was grateful nonetheless.

"Hey, sweetie," Torrie said, snuggling up beside him. "How are you doing?" she asked, indicating the wet paper in his hands.

"I'm…" Christian smiled. "Do you know what? I'm actually doing okay." He turned to look at his fiancé and grinned. The first real grin he had been able to muster in such a long time. Granted, he'd been ecstatic when Torrie had said 'yes' to the question that made most men want to pee their pants, but this more. Because he would be able to marry Torrie as a himself, and not just the broken shell he had become.

"Hey, little brother."

Christian looked up and smiled as Edge entered the room. "Hey."

"Now that's what I like to see," Edge said with a grin.

"What?" Torrie asked. "Me in my new dress?"

Edge and Christian both laughed as Edge shook his head. "As gorgeous as you look, Torrie, I think I'd like to live. And Christian throws a mean punch when he's jealous." Both brothers smiled, remembering when Christian had done just that in the past. "What I meant was," Edge said, slightly more seriously. "It's nice to see my little brother happy."

Christian smiled and stood up, shocking his brother by pulling him into a hug. It was the first time they had really hugged since before the whole thing had started, and both were a little teary eyed when they pulled back.

"Hey, guys!" The moment was broken when Edge broke into a huge grin at the sound of Lita's voice.

"We're in the lounge," Edge called back.

"Okay, well, I've got shopping, let me put it into the kitchen then I'll be right through."

"My, God, you're driving me insane."

Edge turned to his brother and frowned. "What?"

"I swear to God if you don't kiss her and tell her you love her by the end of the night, I'll do it for you!"

Edge went bright red and glared at Torrie as she started to giggle. "Shut up," he grumbled. "It's not that easy." Christian rolled his eyes and turned his glare on his brother. "Don't look at me like that."

Christian sighed. "Just tell her, Edge," he said softly. "Just tell her."

"Damn top shelves," Lita grumbled, crawling onto the worktop on her hands and knees. She reached up and placed the pasta on the top shelf where it belonged and sighed. "Damn tall gorgeous wrestlers that can't keep their damn food at a reasonable height."

"That wouldn't be me you're talking about, now would it?"

Lita jumped in surprise, hitting her head on the cabinet door. "Ouch!"

"Are you okay?" Edge asked, trying not to laugh. He helped turn her around and sit down, making her lean forward so that he could check the back of her head. "Nothing there. You're fine."

She glanced up at him and he grinned at her. She smiled and blushed a little, as he gazed back at her, his expression unreadable…or very readable, if she was being optimistic.

"So," he said with a smirk. "What was that about tall gorgeous wrestlers?"

She glanced away, her blush deepening. "I was referring to Christian," she said, rather weakly.

"Really?"

She looked up at him and her breath caught in her throat. He was staring at her openly and she took a deep breath as he seemed to be moving closer to her…then he stopped. He looked a little unsure and Lita was ready to scream.

"Oh, for goodness sakes," she muttered and grabbed the collar to his shirt, crushing his lips to hers. He was clearly shocked, but after a moment, she felt him grinning against her lips, before he deepened the kiss, reassuring her that she really hadn't just made a prize fool of herself.

After a few moments, he pulled back and she followed him, not wanting to stop. He chuckled slightly and kissed her nose gently. "I love you."

Her eyes widened and she looked up at him in shock. Had he really just said that? He looked frightened for a moment, as if he had said something wrong, but Lita just continued to stare at him.

"Say that again," she whispered.

He smiled slightly. "I love you, Lita." He replied, a hint of nervousness still in his voice.

She broke into a huge grin and kissed him. "I love you, too, Edge." She laughed at the relief in his face and shook her head. He loved her. He really loved her. The thought rang through her head on a loop. Edge loved her. And then he kissed her and she stopped thinking altogether.

Christian smiled and pulled the kitchen door closed exchanging a look with Torrie. She squealed quietly and he rolled his eyes, pulling her into his arms and lifting her off the floor slightly. He walked, carrying her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and made his way upstairs and out to the balcony.

"I love you, Tor, you know that, right?"

She beamed at him and kissed him. "Of course I do, just like you know I love you."

He placed her back on her feet and kissed her gently. "You know this isn't over, right?"

Her face saddened and he hated that he had caused the sparkle in her eyes to disappear, clouding their beauty. "I know that, Christian. I know it's not over."

"It might never be over, Tor."

She shook her head and smiled sadly, tightening her arms around his neck. "I don't care, Christian," she said. "I really don't care if you can never get over this. But I truly believe in you, and I think you can." She smiled. "But either way, I'll be with you until we're old and grey and even after that. After everything ends, I'll always be by your side, and so will Edge and Lita and all your friends, Chris. We're all here for you, and we all love you. I'm never letting you go."

Something inside of him just knew that she was telling the truth. She would never leave him, and for some unknown reason, she loved him and she always would. All he had wanted was his life back, that was all that he had dreamed of for that last year and a half, and finally he had it. But was it all real?

There was a part of him that just didn't want to believe that this was real, that he had the woman he loved in his arms, his friends and family back, and most of all, his brother. Because if he believed it, he would love it, and then when it was taken away again it would crush him. He would be worse off than before because he had been taunted with everything he'd ever wanted.

He sighed and looked into Torrie's eyes and all his fears disappeared. She loved him and he had his life back. The memories were still there, even with Regal behind bars they haunted his thoughts, both waking and sleeping. He didn't know how he would begin to forget, how he would even go about trying to be 'normal' again. But he knew they weren't asking that of him. They just wanted him to live. He knew he may never get over what he had lived through, but he would try. For Edge, for her…and for himself, he would try to live.

Christian kissed her deeply, before pulling back and kissing her forehead. He held onto her tightly as she tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his chest. He held onto her tightly as he watched the sky darkening and they stood there until the moon was high. Life wasn't ending for him, as he had hoped those few months prior, they were just beginning, and even though he knew they could be taken away from him in a breath, he knew he didn't care. Because with that final breath, he would be free of his past…he would be free to live.

The End

I was going to add a small epilogue when I finished, but I really don't think this needs one. This fic was extremely difficult for me to write, as I tend to go for romantic angst when I write, as opposed to this type of emotional angst, and I can only hope I gave the storyline some semblance of justice.

I do not pretend to know what it would be like to go through what Christian did, and I hope I never have to find out, so if this doesn't quite seem right in places, I apologise, but I couldn't have done any more than I did without crying hysterically every time I wrote it!

I hope you enjoyed the read, and I hope you can spare a few moments for feedback. It's always appreciated.

Kyizi
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