21) To Be Furious, Is To Be Frighted Out Of Fear

Now he'll outstare the lightning. To be furious

Is to be frighted out of fear, and in that mood

The dove will peck the estridge; and I see still

A diminution in our captain's brain

Restores his heart.

-Antony and Cleopatra, William Shakespeare

River knew she'd recognized the woman Riddick had on his knee. She didn't know her name, only what she'd heard others use. Mal had several names for her, jiàn huò being one of the kindest. Zoe had actively despised the woman for the tricks she played and the manipulations the red head excelled at. Kaylee and Wash had disliked her simply because she'd tried to hurt Serenity, and by extension themselves. Jayne had found the entire situation amusing until they were in imminent peril. Then he'd been in favor of gutting the woman. He'd been strongly irked that Mal had left her alive both times the woman had crossed Serenity.

Of course then she'd popped back up and caused more trouble. She'd hurt Serenity again and had River her mouth at the time she would have used every means at her disposal to make her pay. At least that time they'd been able to double cross her and the take had been sweet. The last time River had seen or heard of her Inara had been thinking with great amusement of Yo-Saff-Bridge being locked in a garbage container on Bellerophon. Riddick had called her Vanessa in his thoughts. But she had nothing but mischief intended for Riddick and not the kind her big man would approve of. "Though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain." She murmured ironically.

She'd given him as much of a hint as she could that there was something wrong but he hadn't understood her. She'd lost her balance dancing. She'd foregone teasing him or the woman he was with and she hadn't referred to an imaginary captain and a time they had to be back on the ship. She'd considered using some of the old quotes she'd spoken with on Not Furya so he'd have more of an idea of his danger but 'Vanessa' was as educated as Inara in her way and just as likely to recognize a warning for what it was. It wasn't as if she could come right out and say in the middle of the bar that the woman was likely to marry him, use him for some nefarious purpose and then leave him for dead. He'd known something was wrong, but he hadn't made the connection to the woman on his knee.

She was put in mind of something Inara had said, that all men could be swayed by a pretty face or the promise of sex, how much sway a woman held was dependent upon the man and what he wanted. She'd also pointed out a typical man was always ready to believe two things about a woman, one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive. Inara's attraction to Mal had been based strongly upon the fact that Mal wasn't typical in that regard. Neither was Riddick, generally speaking. He wasn't easily swayed by beauty or sex, didn't kiss on the mouth, and very difficult to manipulate. He might be perfectly fine.

So she'd thought about it, watched them leave, all the while keeping her thoughts fixed on 'Vanessa' and finally picked up a thread of what the redhead intended. She had even less time than she'd anticipated. Apparently 'Vanessa' had progressed from the 'goodnight kiss' to hypospray injections. That had the potential to be a huge problem. Riddick might shrug off horse tranqs when his blood and adrenaline were up but when he was relaxed, when he'd had a beer, drugs were a lot more likely to work on him. There was no telling what sort of trouble that 'Vanessa' would get him into. If he ended up bound by law, let alone in marriage, coming to his rescue would be much more problematic. Best to nip this in the bud before the plot could advance that far. "Jiàn huò," She muttered and paid for her drink. So much for working out her frustrations dancing. Riddick was so going to owe her one for this.

They hadn't gone far, thankfully and Riddick's lessons in tracking had come in handy. Being able to hear his mind gave her a direction but no street names or building numbers. River caught up to them at the entrance of an alley a few streets past the bar. Santo had quite a few clubs and bars, casinos and oddly enough wedding chapels. Santo styled itself the Las Vegas planet. Apparently Las Vegas had been a city of Earth That Was; a city where marriages were made and dissolved in a matter of hours.

Riddick was leaning against the wall of a chapel, clearly trying to gather his thoughts and resisting the attempts of 'Vanessa' to get moving again. River nearly reeled as he saw her and felt the sheer need that filled his thoughts. Her partner did want her, badly, and the only thing that rivaled his desire for her was his need to control it. To not hurt her. It was a hard line in his thoughts that he should not be thinking of her, it wasn't allowed. She was a friend. Partner. Not a potential lover.

It was sweet that he wanted to protect her, even from himself. But she'd thought their relationship had progressed to the point where he knew if she needed something she'd ask. Part of her wanted to simply kiss him. The other part wanted to kick him in the head. Again.

She was also painfully aware that a man's thoughts while drunk rarely matched what he thought while sober. Want and lust might warm his thoughts now but in the morning he'd be back to pushing everything 'inappropriate' out of his mind. They were friends. That's all they were. She had to keep that in mind, even when she felt like spontaneous combustion was a real possibility.

Despite her less than cheerful thoughts River smirked slightly in amusement as she walked, 'Vanessa' was trying in vain to make Riddick move. She had no clue how hard it was to make Riddick do anything. The man could out stubborn mules and Malcolm Reynolds on top of mules. She was fairly certain that if Riddick planted himself in the path of a moon it's orbit would come to a grinding halt for his immobility. The curvy woman kept tugging on his arm, trying to get him to go inside the chapel he was leaning against.

"It's a good thing you have a high metabolic rate and a stout constitution Jon," River told Riddick as she neared him. "You'd be following her like a mindless pup if you didn't. I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage." Now that there weren't any people around to get in the way she could throw every Don John quote at Riddick. They both associated those words, really the entire play, with Not Furya and that would put him in mind of mercs even through the drugs.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but he's mine for the night," The red-haired jiàn huò told her in a too sweet voice. "If you want him you'll have to pick him up in the morning." Mischief and pleasure filled her mind at what she'd do with Riddick, and to him, before dawn. Waiting until the drug wore off and blackmailing the 'dumb gunhand' into helping her commit a few crimes before she left him for the law. River was hard pressed to keep from giggling at the idea of anyone trying to force her partner into doing anything he didn't want, married or not. When he had his wits about him no one could force Riddick to do anything. Even when he seemed to comply, he had plots within plans for escape. His mind was like a multi-layered chessboard.

"In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke," River said quietly. "What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?" Her partner's eyes narrowed in the dim light as he listened to what she was saying and River nearly smirked. Riddick was getting mad now, the Furyan nature of his anger boiling through the drugs, at least temporarily. That was good. She could deal with Saffron but she couldn't carry him home. The dose he'd been given should have made him completely pliable. It certainly would have turned Jayne or Mal into putty in the woman's hands. For good measure she added, "For what is wedlock forced but a hell, an age of discord and continual strife? Whereas the contrary bringeth bliss, and is a pattern of celestial peace." She folded her arms and regarded him thoughtfully, "Never knew my partner wished to be wed."

"I don't," His voice was much more clear when he spoke than his mumbling of before. He narrowed his eyes on the red head and folded his arms, with a furious growl. "What the hell'd ya dose me with?"

"Oh jiàn guǐ," The red head shook her head. "I should have known this would go south the minute you started watching her."

River got closer and looked at Riddick, "How clear headed are you feeling?"

"Fine so long's I'm pissed off," He snarled. "Which ain't hard with what I'm hearin'."

"Good," River smiled coldly at the woman between herself and Riddick. "Santo has laws against marrying someone while they're drugged or drunk, unless both parties are intoxicated."

Riddick grinned, "You mean all I gotta do is drag her in there an' tell 'em what she did? And she'll get arrested?"

River nodded with a smile as the bitch began to back up. Riddick's hand darted out quick as a wink and grabbed her by the hair even as River closed the distance between them. "And the penalty is indentured servitude for twenty years, enforced with a tracking chip at the base of her skull. Hard to remove without surgical aid. Considering she somehow escaped the lawmen the last time she was backed into a corner Santo's methods of enforcement do not seem unduly warranted."

"Good," Riddick was growling now. "Let's go. You really got no idea what you stepped in jiàn huò. Nobody puts a collar on me." He looked over his shoulder at River and somehow dredged up his favorite John quote from the depths of his memory, "If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me." He dragged his date into the building against which he'd been leaning. River followed him with a wicked smile. He'd need a little back up to corroborate his story.

She was lucky that he stayed mad and fairly clearheaded until they were nearly at the ship. He swayed when they were fifty yards away and came to a halt. "Rick?" She took his big hand in both of hers, "You all right?"

"Brain's fuzzy again Kitten," He looked at her, shaking his head as if that would clear his thoughts. "Sorry."

River tilted her head as remorse and lust began to fill his brain and enlightenment dawned. He was apologizing because the drug didn't let him control his thoughts and Riddick was worried he would scare her. He'd run out of energy to keep his anger going and the drug was taking over again. "It's all right bàng jiār," She murmured gently. "Your thoughts don't bother me anymore."

She tugged on his hand and his mind immediately flew to how soft her fingers were on his skin, how good it felt to have her touch him. He wanted more of her touch, more of her, but he knew he shouldn't. "Still," He was mumbling as she guided him towards their ship, "Ain't right to be pushin' 'em at you. Deserve better'n my thinkin' on you."

River sighed slightly and wondered if he'd ever get past that line of reasoning. It would be so much easier to tell if he actually liked her if he'd at least consider her as a potential lover. As it was, denial filled his thoughts as much as lust. It was very difficult for her to figure out what he wanted. Desire was one thing; he'd desired her since he first saw her. But was he denying himself because he thought she was still damaged? Or because he didn't want to complicate their relationship? Or for some other reason entirely? Was she just a warm female body to him or was she someone important? Was Shirah right? "You can't help it," She reminded him. "They're just like dreams, not something you can control."

"Yeah," Riddick nodded and let himself be escorted to their ship. He was thinking of her skin again, of when he'd watched her bathe on Not Furya, and how much he wanted to see all of her. Without bruises. His hunger to see her skin was surprising actually. He wasn't even progressing to sex in his thoughts, just seeing her, taking the pins out of her hair and seeing her body in nothing but her hair.

She keyed in the entry code and was distracted by his groan. Riddick was actually leaning against the ship and bending forward to sniff at her hair. A glance at his groin revealed why he was groaning, and a glimpse of his thoughts showed her why. She flushed and felt heat streak through her in reaction to his thoughts. Now he'd definitely progressed to sexual thoughts. Riddick was thinking of kneeling in front of her and kissing every bit of her skin. Putting his hands on her ass and holding her body to his mouth. Wanting to sink into her and see the contrast of his diǎo against her yīn xué. River almost moaned at the thought and managed to finalize the entry code.

"Kitten?" Riddick was inhaling deeply and she almost cursed his superior sense of smell. He knew she was aroused now. He was breathing her in as if her scent was something delicious. "River?" His use of her name was cautious, as if he wasn't certain he had permission and she offered him a tentative smile. If she was lucky he wouldn't remember much of this night, details like her response to his thoughts included. She'd die of humiliation if he ever made the connection between her scent now and the times she'd run and hidden in the vents after seeing him come out of the shower.

"Let's get inside the ship and you up to your room," She told him softly. "Need to get you lying down before the drug wears off. Doped you for obedience and mobility, but when it wears off... System resets itself with unconsciousness."

His confused look told her that her explanation hadn't made it all the way from his ears to his brain but he followed her inside the ship. It was a measure of his self-control that he didn't let his hands wander anywhere over her body though Riddick's thoughts indicated he wanted to touch her very badly. He was supremely conscious of how delicate and pale she was and how dark and big his body was compared to hers. The contrast and need to touch filled his thoughts and she saw his hands clench into fists with the need to stay in control of his actions.

She'd finally gotten him up the stairs, through the common area and to his room when he spoke again, "Kitten?"

"Yes Riddick?" River managed to get him to sit on the bed and helped him unlace his boots. When he'd toed them off she regarded him thoughtfully. She knew he'd be uncomfortable if he slept in his clothes but she wasn't sure she could undress him without his help.

"Ya mad at me still?" He wanted to know. His voice was tired, the drugs muddling him still but he was truly worried she was angry with him about something. "Know somethin's wrong. Made you mad. Dunno what. You ain't been... the same. Been avoidin' me."

River knew what he meant, too well. She hadn't been able to relax, hadn't been able to go back to her little attraction to him. When she'd Seen Riddick with Dahl the hurt had been so intense, she'd known it came from emotions rather than physical interest. Her heart was involved or Riddick being with Dahl wouldn't have felt as if she was being stabbed in that stubborn and finicky organ. She'd avoided him a bit, refused to spar with him, and contemplated getting a whore. Nothing she'd done had changed what she felt.

"I'm not mad at you bàng jiār," She sat next to him. "Take off your shirt so you don't go to sleep in it." She tapped his shoulder. "I was upset about something."

Riddick took off his shirt and began to unbutton his pants, shoving them down his hips and thankfully revealing a pair of shorts. She took a moment to thank Book's indifferent God that her partner was wearing shorts. He hadn't always. There were still times he didn't. "What about? What'd I do Kitten? Gotta fix it. Don' like how it's been last few months."

Had it really only been three months or so, since he'd been with Dahl, River wondered? Time had passed quickly as she tried to deny, avoid or deal with the pain of realizing she cared about him and he...well he didn't even want to lust after her. And then the whole mess with Niska had happened and she'd tried to simply not think about her emotions, tried to avoid them and him. But nothing worked. And she was still hopeless, no thanks to Shirah. "It's nothing you did Riddick," She lied. Hopefully he would be too muddled to call her on it. "It's my own problem."

"Don' like it when you lie to me Kitten," Riddick snarled at her and she sighed wearily. His hands were far too quick, even doped, as he grabbed her upper arms, hauling her up tight against his body. Hot skin, hard muscles and his fully aroused jī ba pressed against her. Lust, need, worry and anger, concern for her were all boiling into his mind, clearing the effect of the drug for a moment.

"Please Riddick," River lifted her hand and cupped his jaw. "Stop asking me, please." She was vividly aware that he was still aroused, his diǎo hard and rubbing between their bodies, pushing against her wài yīn. He felt so good and right, pulling her body against his, it was all she could do to not grind against him. She ached desperately to feel him, pushing against her, touching her. He was beautiful and ready and she was grateful he'd left her own clothing on. And even more grateful she'd convinced him nine months ago that undergarments were something he needed.

He sighed and leaned back against the mattress, bringing her with him and maneuvering their bodies until he was sprawled on his back and she was cuddled against his side in his iron grip. "Won' ask now," He muttered, "Long's you stay. Don' leave." As an afterthought he added, "Please." It was the please that made her stay. Riddick never said please, not unless he really meant it.

River studied him as the drug took over again, his brain lapsing into thoughts of her skin, her body, even as he tried to restrain his lusts. He wasn't trying to undress her, wasn't even pulling the pins out of her hair even though he wanted to. But he truly needed her to stay with him for whatever reason. River sat up, even as he growled his denial of her going anywhere and tried to pull her back down, and carefully she began to pull the pins out of her hair.

Lust flooded through him as her braids tumbled down and his hands found the ends and began to unravel the plaits. His thoughts filled with the need to see her in nothing but her hair, his wishes colored by the memories of her body, the few times he'd seen it, on Not Furya and by accident around the boat. By the time he was done undoing her braids her hair was spilling down to her hips. Big hands drew her down against him and River put her hairpins on his shelf before Riddick pulled her closer and closed his eyes.

River sighed, she'd have to get up in the morning to answer any waves from the authorities but right now Riddick was fascinated with her hair. His hands were running through it and he had pulled the length of it over her shoulder so it spilled across his bare chest. Now and then he'd wind a finger around a long lock and lift it to his nose to inhale the scent of her. His tired thoughts were of silk and sweetness and the girl he needed finally in his arms and in his bed.

Riddick woke up with the horrific sense that something was badly wrong. He hadn't felt panic like this in a long time, not since… His eyes narrowed as he looked around. He'd gone to sleep with a girl in his arms and she wasn't with him anymore. Just like the last time she'd fallen asleep with him. He was getting really gorram tired of her slipping away before he woke up. It was very close to his definition of hell to have the scent of her in his nose, on his skin and she was not in his arms.

He'd had such screwed up dreams…Riddick dug the heels of his hands against his eyes and took a deep breath. The room still smelled like Kitten, her hair, a touch of jasmine in her shampoo, no one but him would notice it was so faint. And something else, her scent was thick with sorrow, pain, and something else he'd rarely smelt… she'd been aroused. The scent of her was familiar… stronger but he was certain this wasn't the first time he'd come across that scent besides the times she'd reacted to his dreams or thoughts. He hadn't recognized it at first, but the animal in him had known, seen the dilation of her pupils and heard the subtle increase of her heartbeat and he'd known.

He lay back on the bed and groaned. That was the best scent in the tiān shā de 'verse and she wasn't with him. It was faint though, faint and faded, as if she'd left a while ago. He thought back to the night before and frowned. He'd been doped by that bitch, and Kitten had come to get him. It had been hard to control his thoughts and he'd been trying to not think of…

Shit.

He shook his head and looked at Dog who was lying on his corner of the bed with a look that said he was being patient but Riddick was an idiot. "Yeah I know," He muttered to the animal. Kitten hadn't been getting wet for him. She was a Reader and he'd been so damn lustful for her that it was a wonder he hadn't tumbled her right onto the bed and just taken her. Of course his mood would affect hers. She'd told him one time about coming across the married couple on her old crew making out on the bridge and how she'd nearly been swept into the ocean by the tidal wave of their feelings.

No wonder she'd slipped away. She must have been uncomfortable as hell. But she'd stayed at least until he'd fallen asleep. And she'd… Riddick looked over at his shelf full of shivs and books. Proof of her actions were sitting right there. Hairpins, in a tidy pile, proved that she'd taken her hair down for him. He remembered her letting him stroke his hands through it. He'd held her close to his body and fallen asleep with her hair flowing over his skin. He hadn't felt that peaceful or content in a long damn time.

Dog whined and Riddick remembered his dreams with a curse. Shirah was getting worse. If the nagging bitch couldn't give him a break he was going to seriously consider a lobotomy. She was after him about Furya. And she was pissed as hell about Kitten. Kept saying the girl was no good for him. She wasn't Furyan. She wasn't right. Wasn't good enough for him.

Shirah had it fucked up though. There was no way his little Kitten wasn't good enough. He'd yet to meet anyone, Dahl, Eve, Carolyn, any female who could keep up with him. Even Kyra hadn't been able to keep pace with him. But River Tam, his Kitten, Seer, Reader, genius assassin and dancer…she could leave him in the dust if she chose. And she never chose. She always stayed. She could have let that bitch take him last night but she'd come after him.

Shirah could go fuck herself if she thought she'd convince him to go to Furya by telling him his gorgeous woman wasn't good enough for him. He knew damn well who was unworthy and in no way was it his partner. He pushed himself up and off the bed and noticed that Kitten had tidied up for him, and put away his clothing; even his boots were in the corner where they belonged.

Time to face the day. And time to find out exactly what he'd done to piss of his partner. She'd lied last night. He remembered that much, she'd said she wasn't pissed about anything he'd done and it had been a lie. So either she didn't think she had the right to be mad, or she thought it was something he couldn't or wouldn't change. He was going to find out which it was. After he apologized for his stupidity of the night before.

He wanted things back to tiān shā de normal.

Author's Note: I didn't want to forget over the weekend so I posted a day early. Hope you don't mind. Soo… Was that how all of you saw this playing out? I figured no matter what things wouldn't go the way Yo-Saff-Bridge wanted. I really debated letting her on the boat but in the end, once River remembered who the woman was and what she'd done, there was no way the redhead would get anywhere near their ship. There's been a suggestion about Yo-Saff-Bridg-Van running into Mal & Co at some point and comparing notes about their run ins with Riddick. Something I'm keeping in mind for a one shot.

Sooner or later these two will actually have to talk about what's going on between the two of them. If they can bring themselves to risk the consequences. That should be interesting.

Chinese Translations:

jiàn huò (bitch)

jiàn guǐ (curse it! / to hell with it!)

bàng jiār (lover / partner)

diǎo (cock)

yīn xué (underground cave / vagina / female genitalia (in pornography))

jī ba (dick)

wài yīn (vulva)

tiān shā de (goddamn)

Quote Sources:

Though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain – Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. - Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare

In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke - Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare

What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness? - Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare

For what is wedlock forced but a hell, an age of discord and continual strife? Whereas the contrary bringeth bliss, and is a pattern of celestial peace. – Henry VI – William Shakespeare

If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. - Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare