Chapter 21

Sara did not understand these text exchanges. Why would he be texting her on Saturday night about his boring life? Where was his wife? She didn't want to speculate about his personal life, but she was curious.

Sunday after surgery, she went to see Lily. Sara noticed as she spoke with her that her eyes had lost their twinkle. The little girl was happy to see her, but she was clearly in pain.

Christine explained to her that the medicine needed to dull the pain made her sleepy. It was a dilemma that would only get worse. As much as Sara liked visiting Lily she felt sad afterwards. The best medicine for her was a run and that was what she did.

Unfortunately running wasn't the perfect cleansing of the mind. Now she had memories of the park and footballs and oh Lord those muscular legs.

The deeper she got the more she thought that she should go back to Aberdeen. So far Billy hadn't found work in London. They both could go home together.

Actually Billy was another of her problems. Her flat was too small for both of them. He was messy and now that he was seeing Lydia he was out late most nights. That would be fine if he didn't wake her when he came home.

She waited until after her run to text the update on Lily.

Lily's head was hurting. She was less like herself.

She expected an immediate response, but didn't receive one. She chastised herself for feeling unhappy that he hadn't responded. To keep her mind off the mess her life had become she studied.

She really did like General Practice and caring for Lily helped her rule out oncology. She could never deal with the sorrow over and over. Her dream job would be to work at the surgery with all of them, but she never could. Not with the way she felt about him. After over an hour a response came:

Thank you.

Nothing more, just as well she realized.

Time continued...Lily continued to decline; Billy was still with Lydia and without a job. Sara was working as much a possible. They were about a couple months into the rotation. She went days when she worked with him properly. Then out of a blue they would have a moment. Sometimes it was the way he would look at her that would make her flustered. Other times it was text messaging that continued beyond the pertinent message.

Sara had stopped staying on Tuesdays before class. She either went home to relax or went for a run. She knew that doctor would often use the time to check on Lily. On those days, he would update her either before or after his lecture.

On Tuesday, he had mentioned he was going to see Lily. Sara was late for class so she waited after to speak to him.

"How was she?"

"Not good."

They walked out of the building together. It was a warm night, but their discussion over Lily's condition made Sara shiver.

He asked "Are you alright."

Looking up to respond she was again lost in his blue eyes, she couldn't think. She couldn't speak, until finally she murmured, "I don't know."

"Go get some rest. Text me if you need to talk about it."

As she walked away, she realized it was not Lily that had her so unhinged, it was being near him. When he looked at her all she wanted was for him to kiss her. She had been dreaming of it for weeks, no months. She went home and straight to bed. She refused to text him even though she longed for one of their little chats.

Ted had been trying to keep things cool between them for weeks now. Every time he heard her mention Billy, he felt something and it wasn't pretty. He suspected based on what he'd overheard that he lived in her flat. He had heard her complain a bit about having to tidy up after him. He secretly kept hoping she would send the chap packing and turn to him for consolation.

He was glad when she approached him about Lily. He thought if she cries, he can hold her. He had dreamed of holding her again. Perhaps he would get to smell her hair which he loved. Instead she looked at him and he looked at her and they both froze. He was more confused than ever. When she spoke and broke the connection, he invited her to text him, but it was now eleven and he doubted she would this late.

The next morning, Sara came out of an exam room with a concerned look on her face.

"Doctor can I trouble you a moment?" She explained that she thought she felt something troubling in a breast examination.

"What did you tell her?"

"That I was a student and you'd be in to double check my work."

Ted nodded, he liked the way she handled situations. The patient was just thirty, much the same age as Sara. He could tell they already had a rapport going.

What Ted wasn't privy to was when Sara told her that Dr. Turner would come to repeat her exam the patient said, "I'd let him examine my tits anyday." Sara had blushed and thought, me too.

Ted went about his examination, like always he did not look at the tissue any more than necessary or the patient. However with Sara standing across from him he found himself looking at her.

Ted had seen and touched more breast tissue than he cared to remember in his career...all kinds and the young and firm was more the exception. Suddenly he could think of nothing, but Sara's breasts. They were not large, but they looked perfect, soft and firm. Occasionally when she wore a thin blouse he could see a nipple slightly protruding. He imagined toying with it to make in erect and hard...Lord, that wouldn't be the only thing. Get a grip he told himself. Glancing at Sara again she was looking away, but he thought he detected a slight blush.

He covered his patient and said, "I feel some fibroids," having consulted her chart prior to coming in, he continued, "they look to be the site of the nasty mastitis you had a few years ago. We'll send you for a mammography, but I am sure it is nothing at all. This is very common." He reassuringly patted her shoulder.

Leaving the room he realized, he was out of control. He needed to get a grip and quick, he scolded himself.

Angela, who noticed everything, asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing other than a terminal five year old."

"Sorry little brother."

Ted realized that Ange was attune to him. He was bothered, but it was not something he could or would share with his big sister.

"How are the boys doing? You missed Sunday."

"You're changing the subject. What are you up to Teddy Bear?"

"Nothing! I just don't want to talk about Lily."

"Alright, alright," she opened his office door and said, "Sara, has he been acting strange lately."

"No," Sara said, "We're all crushed about Lily."

For the first time ever he wished he did not work with his brother and sister. Ange knew him too well. He wanted his internal torment to end.

At lunch, Tim said, "If you need a break, I'll help cover Lily. "

"No, no...I've got it. You two don't need to worry I'm fine."

"We know how hard it was for you after Mel," Angela said.

"Mel was my wife...my children's mother. Lily is a patient. A very young one who is endearing, but it is not the same. For Christine and Gordon, I imagine it is ten times worse than losing Mel. She's still a baby."

Teddy listened to his own words. He knew they surprised his brother and sister, because they surprised him as well.