CLONE WARS: Devotion (Part 6)
She has been seating in the same spot for what it has been hours, contemplating the stars in the night sky; a sight she has seen many times before. Even through the busy lights of Coruscant and the artificial controlled atmosphere the planet lived under, it was still beautiful to her. The shining speckles in the infinity of the darkness; and although she has seen better versions of this very same scenery in front of her, with a million more stars dancing through the black canvas of the sky, with different colors and nebulas blinding her grey eyes, this exact view was the one that her heart yearned after every time she was away in a distant planet or in the middle of another important mission or in the heart of a different system. Her soul would continue to grow restless until she got to see the Coruscanti night sky again.
The melancholy of the setting was only compared by the loneliness that had absorbed her the minute her other half had gone away from her. She could spare some minutes of her own time to drive her mind away from the aching of her own heart with Council meetings, training sessions with her new Padawan, private queries with the Republic´s Senators and revisions of plans and strategies that needed her approval behind them. All those things kept her occupied enough for her to ignore the emptiness of her rooms, the visible missing piece on her day-to-day that she has never felt so strongly before until now. Like a missing limb or a failing lung, it demanded attention and pain, but all she could offer to herself was a rational explanation and an excuse that never came close to a real cure for her malady.
She spent the days traveling through halls, talking sweetly to politicians and setting her mind to tasks of both diplomacy and war, but the nights… the nights belonged only to him.
That was the reason behind her presence at the edge of the window, staring at the night sky as if it would provide some answers to unasked questions. Her eyes seeking everything and nothing at the same time, waiting for someone that it wouldn´t show up even if requested.
She had been abandoned before: parents that would give her up for the sake of the galaxy and the will of the Force, a Master that would die in her arms with a last promise on his lips, an ex-lover that would never say the words for fear of setting something in motion that it could never be taken back. She has experienced the breaking of one's heart and the shattering of long-wished dreams. But this ache, it didn´t feel like an empty void or just a blow to her chest, that suffocating kind that seem to take the breath away from you, but more like a burning fire that laid low, that made a home inside her bowels and that came in waves, filling her with a fire that hurt and cripple the functions of her body but that wasn´t wounding enough to scorch her tissue and her bones all together.
She saved that pain, like she always has. Like a soldier and a warrior should; feeding her soul with the hurt and the encompassing spikes of pain that overcomes her from time to time, knowing that nothing could make her stronger than grief has. She smiles in the daylight and keeps her tears and sorrow for the shadow of the night, where they couldn´t be seen and misunderstood. Where she can feel without the fear of censure.
The only times she allows her eyes to wonder away from their busy agenda of staring at the never-ending space, is to glance at the small device right beside her naked feet. Her com-unit.
Obi-Wan waits for the beeping red light to show up more often than not. But, she stops when she remembers than it´s probably better not to obsess over improbable calls. Still, she can´t stop herself for hoping.
When she catches herself staring more times than she could freely admit, the Jedi allows a terrible sigh to escape her lips and takes the device on her hand, accepting defeat. Pressing a couple of buttons, she manages to activate the small machine to project the last message that it received.
The sudden image of the man who has stolen half her heart, and probably her entire ability to reason, shows up in shaking transparent blue light.
"Obi-Wan…" the cheerful voice of Anakin can be heard, a small smirk on his mischievous lips. "Everything is going fine. I´m not hurt, as you can see…"
The red-haired Jedi smiles at the obvious pride in the Padawan´s words. She has seen this recording before, she knows the exact words and mannerisms that her husband was going to use. Still, it made her shiver with delight.
"Master Mundi is very patient with me, although I think he is more exasperated than what he is willing to admit" He giggles and Obi-Wan finds herself imitating the sound.
"Master A´sharad Hett is also kind…" Anakin´s posture grows a bit stiff at this. Obi-Wan lifts an eyebrow at the action; after all, Knight Hett is from Tatooine, just like Anakin. The young Padawan was excited when he first met him when he just came to live at the Temple as a youngling. Hett was something that reminded him of his home.
"We have been cruising some planets that had requested our help, and we have lost a few of our clones and even some other Jedi, but we have completed the missions as expected."
Obi-Wan bites her lip at this. Tracing the lines of Anakin´s face, which even through the inaccurate image of the recording can be seen by her expert eyes, those lines talk of grief, of unspoken regret. Anakin had always been a sensitive boy. He could never reconcile losing friends or allies to the hands of war.
"…but we are holding up fine, so, please, do not worry." There is a pause and an unhappy smile before he comes closer, as if shielding his message for possible prying ears "…I miss you more than I can tell, at night, I dream only of you, of the warmth of our bed and the softness of your skin. I will be there soon, I promise." He comes closer still, with eyes that seemed to be staring right at her own, even when the miles and miles between them were too great even for the strongest of devotions to shortened.
"…I love you, more than I can truly say."
A small grimace that almost looks like a smile and then the message ends.
Obi-Wan grips the device with her thin fingers, half disappointed and half relieved by the words. She knew that Anakin wasn´t done with whatever it was what he was busy doing, but she couldn´t shake the feeling that she should be beside him.
When she sent him away, not by choice but for practical necessity, she thought she could handle the cold space left on the bed, especially after the never-ending problems that came their way white they remained together. It was meant to be a pause, a simple glitch in their promised never-ending happiness, one sacrifice made for the sake of something bigger but the meaning of their vows was still holding them tight together by the trust in each other´s love.
Obi-Wan has ever been so hesitant on admitting that she did love her husband. And, in any other place and position, that would sound completely out of place. But by the laws of her world, of her own creed, saying such a thing out loud was unthinkable.
For a while now, she has played a dangerous game; cheerfully pretending that she could live her passions in secret without changing aspects of her live. That the person that she swore she loved despite the fact that she rarely openly showed it, could hold on to three words only said when they were truly necessary. That vacant dream broke the minute she tasted the bitterness of separation.
As she has once admitted; Obi-Wan knew exactly how it felt to invest one´s heart and get disappointed. She has lost lovers, has been rejected by the words of another and even renounced to some of them out of self-preservation. She didn't need a lesson in delusions and broken hearts. But Anakin was a force of his own, and Obi-Wan, even driven by her more intense romances in life, has never let herself fall too deep into the rabbit´s hole until then. Now that she has, she found that she couldn´t climb her way out, and, really, she didn´t even want to.
Her relationship with Anakin was far from perfect. Qui-Gon was a much more matured and intellectual man, someone who would never throw a tantrum over some petty jealousy like the young Padawan has done several times now. Quinlan, even with all of his flaws, would go the distance to protect her at the same time he understood her, didn´t demand change nor strong words of devotion like Anakin needed to hear or have. And Satine, that old memory of the past in where she momentarily thought she could found her peace once more, he was so refined and eloquent, matching her interests and defying her convictions, in his place, now Anakin stood, impulsive and awkward, trying to grasp everything with brute force instead of soft well-thought diplomacy like Satine used to do.
Obi-Wan has given in to a man that didn´t even come close to the men of her past. Whereas Obi-Wan should be relieved by that or scared, she had no idea yet. But what she knew, it´s that it has been only Anakin who allowed her senses to leave her, who has overthrown her reason and allowed her desire to take its place, who filled her with what she has denied herself for so long but has always searched in silence. And, right now, that proved to be enough for her.
With a last smile to the dark sky above her, she climbed down from her window and padded barefoot through the floor, walking the corridor that leaded to her bedroom. Maybe there were cold lonely sheets for her inside the quarters, waiting; but there was also the promise of tomorrow, and a tomorrow was one more day closer to see Anakin again.
That look like a good bargain for her.
Aubrie has been diving her time in the Temple between working in the halls of the healing, studying under Master Windu´s tutelage and training with Master Obi-Wan with the objective to learn and to attune her style to hers. She has only finished her shift at the medical ward some minutes ago, she went right back to her quarters to change her robes from the pristine white she wore when she was tending wounded Jedi and sick younglings to the usual light brown and creams fabrics of the traditional Jedi clothing, ready to eat some quick snack and rush to the training rooms where Master Kenobi was surely waiting for her to appear.
The young brown haired Jedi stood in the middle of her kitchen, chewing some energy bar that she has found in a drawer and used her eyes to inspect the place as if she hasn´t lived there for some time now. It was the same rooms she shared with her past Master, they used to be cozy and familiar but now they were a bit cold and lonely. Master Obi-Wan has offered the apartment right in front of hers, saying that it has been unoccupied from some time and that if she felt more comfortable being closer to her, since she has become her new Master, she should take the free space. Aubrie has refused politely, even when Anakin didn´t really express his discontent with her being integrated into his life as his Padawan-sister, she could feel his discomfort with her presence in Obi-Wan´s life.
Before, when Anakin had talked about his Master, Aubrie thought that the young man was awfully attached to the figure of Master Kenobi, but the female Padawan also knew that Anakin was a different kind of breed; even through the vast numbers of exemplars of people within the Order itself. He had been too old when he came in, and considering that his trail of thought being singular and strange was not a surprise for her, at least, not at first. When she got to know him and the reasons behind his antics, things became a bit more complicated than just a difference of upbringings.
Anakin was in love with his Master. And it was not a simple infatuation of the moment, it was a deep, meaningful love that transcended the parameters of what it was permitted and considered a mistake made from inexperience and youth. Anakin was passionate, giving and possessive of the love that he felt. The people that came into his life served a purpose and were claimed, even her, a simple fellow student gained her place into Anakin´s life, and in his mindset she was positioned in a station within it. When fate and the Council decided that she was meant to occupied a much more central and important part in Obi-Wan´s Jedi career, that as her apprentice, Anakin´s views of her were shaken from foundations.
In Anakin´s reasoning, Obi-Wan was his. He has never voiced such a ridiculous and dangerous statement, not publicly at least, but it was obvious in the look of his eyes or the actions and reactions to whatever happened in his Master´s life. Aubrie, who was once a friend and a companion, a character in Anakin´s story, suddenly became an intruder. An unwanted invader. Someone who came to steal and cheat her way into the life of someone who lived in the center of Anakin´s attention.
Aubrie has been so scared and intimidated by this sudden shift in attitude that she has refused a natural invitation, an even welcoming change in her life and has stayed inside the room that held walls and walls of memories of her old life with someone she loved and that it was now departed from this world. Every time she came home, she could remember the sweet words of pride that her old Master used to give her, the smiles and the advices, the casual days she spent by his side, listening to his guidance and practicing his ways. Aubrie was good with change. She knew how to move forward and how to let go of those things that only drove her away of her duties and her potential, something that Anakin didn´t know how to do or didn´t even want to do in the first place. Being confined to this place she loved but that suddenly felt inaccurate and suffocating was unnecessary and oppressive, she should be by her Master´s side, should be spending time with Obi-Wan, getting to know her in every level, not being pushed aside in favor of someone else´s comfort and perceived entitlement.
Standing in the kitchen, Aubrie chances a glance at Anakin´s lightsaber, laying peacefully on the counter, untouched and unused from quite some time now. Anakin has given her permission to wield it, apparently declaring a truce between them that promised a probable positive change in their relationship, but Aubrie has limited herself with training sabers all the time she has been sparring with Obi-Wan, and Master WIndu has lent her a spare one at the absence of her weapon, which didn´t go unnoticed from the Vaapad´s Master curious eyes. Aubrie felt that the blade didn´t belong to her, it screamed Anakin from every angle and it even weighted weirdly on her hand.
But now, staring at the shiny piece of metal, Aubrie couldn´t help to feel called to grip the handle and own it. She has been so afraid of Anakin´s opinion of her, of his volatile feelings and beliefs of ownership that alienate her from the life she was destined to be having right now, there was something powerful in just walking to the only real possession that a Jedi must truly have: his weapon, and taking it for her own.
So, she did.
The brunette walked until she met with the object, her fingers caressing the cold cylinder, her eyes searching for any imperfection. She finally took the handle and felt the power of the crystal inside; it called to her at the same time that it rejected her. Just like it´s owner had. The great pull was there, whispering of how she was a Force-user, and for that, worthy of wielding the might of the crystal it carried, but it also spoke of incompatibility, of a forced relationship of unnatural proportions. The crystal has not chosen her as the correct process of selection demanded, it has been trusted upon her in a human whim.
She thought of letting go of the wayward saber but her stubborn personality, the same one that has pushed her to the limits of her capacity every time that someone has suggested that maybe her expertise only laid in healing wounds and not in the more combative arts of the Jedi, traveled through her mind, asking her to bend this barrier, to overcome her hesitations and to not allowing the nature of a selfish man to contain and stop what she thought it was part of her evolution.
She gripped the handle without remorse, ignoring every warning that the blade sent her way and walked away from her depressing kitchen. She walked out of her apartment, through the empty halls and the crowded ones, bypassed figures and people she knew and only permitted her feet to stop when she reached the exact room where the figure of her Master stood, already accommodating herself and preparing for the session that they agreed to have that day.
Obi-Wan turned at the sound of her boots, smiling warmly at her presence and frowning at the next second at the clear expression of strong-willed defiance that she must have been wearing at the moment.
"Is that…?" she gaped.
"Yes." Aubrie sentenced, uncaring of the steel of her voice.
"How did you…?" Obi-Wan asked, her face a combination of worry and uncomfortable discontent.
"Anakin gave it to me before leaving. He has mine in turn."
"Conference of fealty…" The older Jedi realized with a sudden revelation.
"Yes." She nodded.
There was a pause, it didn´t affect Aubrie´s resolution though; for all of her talk of Anakin´s intransigence in his decisions, including the way he catalogued people as his, Obi-Wan Kenobi could be equally vexing. She had the unnatural proclivity of affection for certain people over others as well, although her demonstration of attachment was less obvious and less vicious in its depth, if the Jedi Master considered them to be dangerous and threatening enough she was willing to let them go, but that decision always came with the sacrifice and forced relent of control of the object in notion, and just like her apprentice, she wasn´t all that good in accepting defeat.
Aubrie, though, wouldn´t permit to be denied, not even for the person in front of her. Not even by the famous Sith-Killer herself. She was meant to wield this weapon the moment Anakin handed it to her. End of story.
"Fine, then." Obi-Wan conceded with a shrug "… I guess that would be the case."
Aubrie got in position, taking her usual side of the room, hearing the approving words but knowing that they came with a masked aversion.
Obi-Wan imitated the motion, hand freeing her own weapon from her belt. Her eyes shifting between the blade in Aubrie´s hand and the Padawan´s eyes.
The brunette smiled to herself, finding that the Master was distracted by the sight, it was both good as it was problematic.
Their blue blades clashed and their movements became brutal and swift at the same time without much preamble. They have been wasting their time with training for a while now, only stopping when Obi-Wan had been called to service in diplomatic missions here and there, even sometimes with Aubrie trailing behind, eager to learn of negotiation from the greatest expert there was in the Order. But her body had grown accustomed to the katas and strikes of the person before her too; it has memorized the defensive style that Master Kenobi practiced so well. Aubrie could understand that language as well, since she was cut with the same edge, she favored defensive styles and thrive more with the passive movements than with the ferocity of the battle.
Their match had become so in-sync that they barely touched each other, anticipating the movements with precision, and the room found itself slowly filled with young initiates that had heard the commotion of the practice, even some Knights and remaining Masters had gotten out of their way to stare at the fight that resembled more a dance than a combat.
Their strikes and attempts started to speed up and to try to finalize the other without killing each other off. Obi-Wan´s Soresu started to dominate her Nimaan, and before she could defend herself, the older Jedi´s hand stretched before her to pull her lightsaber away from her grasp, when the weapon obeyed the call like a traitorous deserter, the red-haired woman turned around and then positioned her blue saber over her neck, stopping just enough to not burn her skin.
Aubrie held her hands up, admitting her surrender, and the furious look of Obi-Wan´s eyes remained even though the battle was over. An explosion of claps and ovations filled the room and made the Jedi Master relax at the reality call.
People was excited and smiled at them and to each other, Obi-Wan shyly bowing to them with humble eyes, Aubrie accepting the gestures with the same reserve.
"Shouldn´t have done that…" Obi-Wan accepted, closing her eyes and shaking her head with embarrassment.
"No harm done, Master." Aubrie told her, walking to stand next to her while the people continued to make noise around the room.
"It was a bit much" Obi-Wan insisted. "I didn´t mean to look as if I was going to chop your head off…"
"It almost reminded me of that battle… when I was younger." The brunette said, walking next to the older Jedi until they reached a bench to rest and re-fresh.
Obi-Wan turned to look at her while she gulped some fresh water that was brought by a droid. Eyes curious and suddenly interested.
"There was this tournament, Anakin was fighting against a boy named Ferus, I believe." Aubrie thought out loud, not even realizing Obi-Wan´s eyes which had widen at the mention of the memory.
"Anakin won. He had slapped the blade from Ferus´s hand with a powerful strike of his lightsaber. You would think that by disarming him he had already finished the battle but he had the nerve to actually put the blade at the boy´s throat."
While Aubrie seemed uncaring of her telling of the story, Obi-Wan had suddenly paled at the words. The parallelisms between the situations not going unnoticed to the Jedi Master. She had scolded the young Padawan by the unnecessary use of violence and crave for humiliation of his opponent, at that time, only a teenage boy like himself. And now, Obi-Wan, consumed by her own anger at the sight of Anakin´s weapon in other person´s hand had driven her to make the same mistake she so condescendingly scorned him for when Anakin had committed the crime. She, a sound adult and a member of the Council, had no excuse of reckless youth or a hot temper to hide behind.
"You know, Master…" Aubrie called for her attention.
Obi-Wan turned to look at her with urgency. Suddenly feeling thoughtful of her new Padawan´s wishes, trying to erase her shame with attentiveness.
"When Anakin trusted his blade to me before leaving, he told me I was going to need it if I wanted to defeat you."
Obi-Wan raised her brow, surprised at the admission and at the same time trying not to roll her eyes; that was such an Anakin thing to say.
"He never told me that the blade would be more inclined to obey you than me, though." Aubrie laughed, disregarding the previous harshness to which she had arrived with. "I´m feeling quite cheated."
Obi-Wan giggled at well. "That´s what you get for trusting in Anakin´s promises. They never leave anything good."
"I will consider that next time."
"You should."
Obi-Wan stood up from the bench and took possession of her long brown cloak, suddenly realizing of the extra weight on her left hand.
Anakin´s lightsaber was still in her custody and she bit her lip at the sight of the remaining piece of her husband left in the Temple. She knew that this object was now Aubrie´s and she had not right on keeping it for herself but the overwhelming need and desire to reclaim the weapon was strong and it made her grip the metal even harder. Aubrie was busy drinking her own water and ignoring the sudden fight of integrity inside Obi-Wan´s mind.
"I think this is yours now" The silver eyed Jedi told her, extending her arm to hand the saber back to its new owner.
Aubrie looked at the offering and smiled, taking it without hesitation.
"I will try to practice until its grip feels natural" the younger Jedi promised.
"See that you do."
Obi-Wan smiled and started walking away from the apprentice, breathing heavily and smiling to the people who still stood inside the sparing room, too excited to just get on their way and abandon the place.
"Master!"
The red-haired woman stopped at the call and turned to look at her apprentice once again, a light frown on her features.
"I will be taking the apartments in front of yours." Aubrie declared, finally dissipating the strange shadows that had taken its home inside her amber orbs in the last days.
Obi-Wan raised one of her brows at the surprise of the announcement. But something, the Force more likely, whispered of how right the decision taken by her new apprentice was. The Master, who at the moment still felt shy and ashamed of her previous behavior in battle, smiled with compliance, realizing that she liked the idea just as much.
Obi-Wan nodded and walked away.
Aubrie observed her and smiled in victory. She had lost a match but she had won a battle, the important one at least. And in her mind and heart, that was a good step forward into the future and of the many promises it holds for her to grasp.
Padmé has been visiting Alderaan for a brief period of time, happily distancing herself from the turbulent and difficult world of politics that involved Coruscant most of the time, especially with the war going on. Alderaan, on the other hand, was an ever peaceful planet, filled with people that had no desire for conflict, it was easy to find herself in love with the natural beauty of the place the minute her ship landed on the rich forests and deliciously crafted cities.
Bail had offered her to spend some time there when the recess in the Senate came along, and finding that she had little to do during that resting time she took the offer almost without hesitation. Padmé quickly realized that she has spent most of her time worrying over things outside of her own control, like the sway of politics, the war itself and, of course, Anakin Skywalker.
The young man had taken residence inside Padmé´s heart the way he did when they just met on Tatooine eleven years ago. Anakin was young, handsome and gifted in several ways, and interestingly enough, he made her laugh more times than Padmé thought anyone could. Yes, he was clearly immature in so many things and sometimes downright emotionally unstable, but the female Senator liked to think that he would eventually grow out of it and besides, Obi-Wan´s magical revival could only be a good thing for the Jedi apprentice.
But all of those things flown out of the window when she got on Alderaani soil; her attention was suddenly taken by both the beauty of her surroundings and the gracious company of her host. Bail was so different from Anakin, who was the other male friend who she was close to, he was cultured and refined, as the prince he was, he had an easy laugh and dark intense eyes, Padmé had to stop several times to remember that the man was married.
It wasn´t as if she was head over heels for Bail Organa, but the male Senator was so elegant and magnetic that Padmé couldn´t help but orbit around him whenever he was close her vicinity.
"Mistress Padmé!" Threepio came running with that stiff but fidgety run he always made.
"Threepio, it´s nice to see you again!" Padmé honestly saluted. "You seem to be in a hurry…"
"Oh, Mistress, we have a visitor!" he informed her, although his voice reminded her more of a whine.
Padmé lifted an eyebrow at the mention of a visitor. She just arrived from Alderaan and she didn´t have any appointments programed for today or the following days.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"A Jedi!" Threepio chimed "I believe her name is Master Kenobi…"
Padmé´s eyes widened at the mention of the name. She hadn´t seen Obi-Wan in a while, and the last time she talked with her at all was when she knew about her surprising survival and escape from Separatist´s clutches. She had been very busy at the time and, contrary to popular belief, Senators and Republic Officials couldn´t just walk into the Jedi Temple so casually.
"What shall we do, Mistress?" the golden droid asked. Padmé could see him getting anxious by the little predicament already and she almost smile for the familiarity of the situation.
"Don´t worry. I will receive her." Padmé nodded.
The golden robot was a gift for and a favor to Anakin at the same time; the young Padawan asked Padmé to house the droid shortly after what happened on Geonosis. The blond had built the droid from scratch when he was young and now that his mother had passed away, he didn´t like the feeling of leaving the only reminder of his past life behind on Tatooine; although he could not just have it around in the Temple. Padmé had accepted the man´s request of keeping the droid and it had assisted her ever since. When Anakin came around he always tinker with Threepio and tried to see what he could do to improve him or to just give some maintenance, which always made Padmé smile, it was nice to see that part of Anakin that concerned itself with machines as if they were human beings. And in return, Padmé gave her loyal R2D2 to Anakin´s care, since the young Jedi surely needed it much more than she did now.
When she walked into the living room of her apartments, still wearing the simple long dress she used for her travel, she could see Obi-Wan standing by the veranda, looking as pristine and regal as she remember her from before the war.
Padmé smiled and raised her brows at the difference between the Obi-Wan she last saw and this one in front of her. Her auburn hair was longer and tied up in a style she had never seen her wearing before. She had divided her hair in three sections: the thickest one was braided at top and around her head in a beautiful crafted crown, and the reminded sections were made into individual braids that rested on her shoulders, trailing down until they were reaching her navel. The whole sight was beautiful and it reminded her of the intricate set ups she had to wore when she was a queen.
"It´s nice to see you again, Obi-Wan."
The Jedi turned at the mention of her name, and although slow to smile, when she finally did, it was in a bright and honest gesture.
"Senator Amidala…"
The female politician stopped and raised her right hand in interruption "Padmé… please."
Obi-Wan closed her eyes for a moment in amuse and nodded "Padmé…" she rectified.
"What has brought you here?" the Senator continued, inviting her to take a seat with a movement of her hand.
Obi-Wan nodded in appreciation for the offer and took a seat in one of the elegant sittings.
"To be honest, I wanted to discuss some issues with you…"
Padmé raised her eyebrow at this.
"So this is not a social visit?"
Obi-Wan faintly blushed at the question, suddenly ashamed by Padmé´s forwardness.
"I didn´t mean to be rude, Senator…"
Padmé chuckle at the demonstration of embarrassment.
"It´s okay. I just hoped that we could use some time for casual conversation, it has been too long since we last saw each other and after that terrible business on Jabiim I´ve been worried for you…"
"Oh" Obi-Wan gasped "Thank you for your concern, it´s really not necessary. It was… rough, but we are trained to face such situations."
"Still, torture…" Padmé winced at the sole implication of what it entailed.
Obi-Wan smiled softly and shook her head, resting importance to the whole thing.
"I´m fine now and currently very busy, as a matter of fact."
Padmé could detect the shift in the conversation; it wasn´t as if Obi-Wan was uncomfortable with the line of talks, although it was probably a factor, as friendly as Padmé has been trying to be every time they met, Obi-Wan always insisted in the veil of formality between them. The Jedi was probably resistant to discuss that type of matters because they were private Jedi business.
"I heard that you have been granted some resting time on Coruscant."
"Yes. Although I´m greatly needed in the battlefields, the Council deemed important for me to stay behind and take care of some matters before joining the war again."
In that moment, Threepio entered the room carrying a tray of tea cups and refreshments. Padmé smiled at the frown in Obi-Wan´s face at the sight of the protocol droid.
"Oh, thank you Threepio" Padmé said, taking her cup and food for the offering tray. Obi-Wan imitated her with a strange look on her face.
"Is there anything else you might need, Mistress?" the robotic voice of Threepio asked.
"No, that´s okay. You may leave."
The droid nodded and went his ways with his clumsy walk.
"This one…" Obi-Wan muttered to herself.
"Oh, you remember C-3PIO?" Padmé asked.
"I don´t remember if I have ever seen it in my entire life. But there is something about it…"
Padmé frowned lightly. "Anakin built him. It was with his mother on Tatooine, but we took him with us after Geonosis. You probably met him during that time…"
Obi-Wan made a funny face at the mention. Padmé was surprised by the fact that the Jedi Knight had forgotten him since Jedi seemed to notice everything but at the same time, she remember how Anakin complained that Obi-Wan had little interest in droids and machines, she was usually contemptuous of them to Anakin´s eternal disappointment.
"That might be it!" Obi-Wan suddenly remember. "That explains why I could feel Anakin´s signature on it…"
"You can do that?" Padmé questioned, taking a sip from her tea.
"Sometimes" Obi-Wan said with dismissiveness.
Padmé tried to size the woman before her. Obi-Wan was both hard and easy to read; she had that distant and formal personality that it made her hard to be approached but she was also polite and kind, smiling softly and talking quietly as if she was fragile when in reality she was a formidable warrior. Padmé knew that the Knight was possibly always uncomfortable in the presence of politicians, at least, Anakin had mentioned such things in passing in some of his visits, saying how his Master always seemed to find some fault in the character of public servants such as herself. It made Padmé both wary and slightly insulted by Obi-Wan´s disregard of her kind.
"Anakin told me you were offered a new Padawan…"
Obi-Wan seemed to be taken out of her trance by Padmé´s words.
"Aubrie Wyn, she is a wonderful Jedi, render Masterless during Jabiim. Anakin and she seem to be good friends, in fact."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes. I have taken her under my wing at petition of the Council, I´m currently training her while Anakin is gone."
"And Anakin is fine with that?" Padmé questioned.
Obi-Wan looked at her with a strange gleam on her eyes, as if sensing discontent.
"He doesn´t seem overly angry about it." Obi-Wan diplomatically said.
"Are you sure about that?"
The Jedi tensed at the words and implication that the female Senator had made. Padmé could smell the apprehensive atmosphere that had settle around them. The Jedi were usually unwilling to share aspects of their Order or their day to day life, but Padmé was Anakin´s closest friend, and she knew, that the young man wasn´t on board with the idea of sharing his secret wife with someone else; usually, Padmé would hand that to simple and petty jealousy for the man´s part, but she could see why he would be uncomfortable, a new Padawan would mean someone intruding in Obi-Wan´s and Anakin´s already difficult relationship, it would force them to be even more careful than they have been so far.
"Has he told you something?" Obi-Wan said, straightening up and forgetting her cup on the table.
"Not much." Padmé lied. Anakin had complained about it at length.
"He told me you told convince him he had been behaving like a fool" Obi-Wan said, standing up from her position on the couch, almost letting her long brown rob hug her tall frame.
Padmé could sense that the woman had finally drop the façade of the graceful Jedi Master, right now she was only the woman who had married Anakin Skywalker. Padmé liked to think she enjoy more of the company of this version of Obi-Wan than the other.
"I did" the ex-queen confirmed "He was being silly but that doesn´t mean his concerns are unfounded."
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at that, resting her body at one of the pillars of the balcony.
Padmé smiled kindly, trying to easy the sudden and unexpected animosity that had raised between them.
"Don´t you think that having someone in the mix of your lives would be a little bit intruding in your relationship?"
"Aubrie is not going to live with us" Obi-Wan defended, resting importance to her complains "Yes, she would be living in the apartment across of ours and yes, she will more likely be accompanying us to missions, but she won´t be with us all the time…"
Padmé twisted her lips, not all convinced.
"Padmé…" Obi-Wan called to her.
The female Senator shifted her eyes to see into the grey pools of Obi-Wan´s orbs.
"I understand your concerns" the Jedi let her know with a severe look on her eyes "but it´s done, there is nothing you or Anakin or even me can do about it. So, Anakin will have to deal with it."
Padmé twisted her lips in an uncomfortable manner, clearly still disagreeing with what the Jedi Master had claimed. The female Senator took a long look at the other woman in the room and then seemed to relax.
"Well, you said you had some issue to talk with me about, and I don´t think you came all the way here just to discuss Anakin´s behavior, did you?"
Obi-Wan straighten up the minute Padmé mentioned her intended business. "Yes, indeed. I came here to talk about Senator Bail Organa…"
Padmé raised one of her eyebrows at the mention of her friend.
"Bail? What about him?"
Obi-Wan looked at her as if she was inspecting her, and maybe she was. The Jedi´s eyes were suddenly serious and as firm as steel, gone all the signs of emotions and friendly endeavor.
"He came to me some weeks ago. He said that he trusted me with certain information because you did. I just want to know if you commented something to him."
Obi-Wan´s voice wasn´t menacing or intimidating, she was making an effort to not appear as if she was upset with the young Senator, but her tone and her posture clearly indicated that she was concerned and focused on getting the job done, not on being nice.
Padmé remained quiet for a short while, trying to find the right words to say.
"We have talked about the Order as a whole. I have never suggested anything specific about you to Senator Organa."
The auburn haired Jedi knew when people lie. She was used to it. There were people so bold as to lie to her face as if she didn´t have the Force to call them on their bantha shit. For that, Obi-Wan knew perfectly well when someone was trying to trick her, from that experience she could tell that Padmé was actually telling the truth. Weird in a politician.
"He gave me some information before it was public knowledge, nothing sensible and the entirety of it concerned the Jedi more than anyone else, so I wouldn´t say he was out of place…" Obi-Wan continued.
"…But?" Padmé inquired.
Obi-Wan almost smirked at the sudden edge on Padmé´s tone, noticing that the politician in her had resurfaced at the feeling of being questioned or challenged.
"This may appear rude to you, Senator, but I have the tendency to not trust politicians…"
Padmé burst into small giggles, covering her mouth with one of her white small hands.
"Anakin definitely gets it from you, then…" Padmé confirms. When she manages to calm down, she reassures Obi-Wan that Bail was a man worthy of trust.
Obi-Wan still twists her lips.
"Really, Obi-Wan. I know that not trusting politicians in the Jedi´s DNA, but Bail is a good man. I´ve never suggested anything to him that could imply that you would be his political ally on something, but he might have gotten that idea for the way I speak of you…"
"The way you speak of me?"
At this point, Obi-Wan was on the edge of the landing port, ready to get into the speeder that had brought her to the Senator´s apartments, Padmé followed her out with a smile and a reassuring hand on her back.
"Well… I like to think we are friends…" Padmé commented in a soft breath. Obi-Wan blushed slightly at the words.
"Yes, I like to think that too."
Padmé smiled widely at this, completely joyful and uncaring of anything else.
"As your friend, I admire you. I guess that sometimes when I talk about you with other people that might transpire in the way I speak about you."
The female Jedi stared at her at the edge of her speeder, meditating the words inside her mind.
"Bail is a close friend. He is good and decent, I might have mentioned you once or twice and he probably thought you were trustworthy."
Obi-Wan shook her head slowly with a tiny smile on her lips, resting importance to her probably over-reaction to something as small as a Senator trying to quarry favor or just giving information away from actual honest concern.
"But if you like I could question him about it, discreetly of course, nothing too obvious."
Obi-Wan felt herself startled at this.
"You don´t have to… I know he is your friend…"
"Nonsense, it´s not a problem." Padmé reassures her.
The Senator´s hand reaches out to one of hers and Obi-Wan finds herself both confused and nervous at the sudden approach. She is not used to be touched, and the only one who she allows such a thing is to Anakin, but he is her husband so that pretty understandable. Padmé, though, it´s a different story.
The brown haired woman´s fingers circle her own long and thin ones, enclosing them in a comfortable grasp of warm skin.
"You need to come back…" Padmé proposes with a smile with white teeth and a slight blush on her cheeks "… next time only to visit, no business."
Obi-Wan is too surprised to say anything so she only nods before awkwardly giving a slight clench of her trapped hand, with a graceful bow, she finally walks away and into her speeder.
It has been a couple of months of just waiting and Obi-Wan has been restless, fidgeting with her hands when she was forced to sit down during tedious Council meetings, she couldn´t even concentrate when she meditated, what used to be one of her favorite activities when she had some alone time in the Temple, it now was just a slow torture of wondering what would Anakin be doing at this time in some far-away system. Was he all right? Was he hurt? Did he miss her? Obi-Wan didn´t know when she became that pathetic, remembering how she used to get upset when Anakin acted inpatient and as if he wasn´t capable of just waiting, it now seemed she was the one who couldn´t stay still.
She failed to pay any real attention to the issues discussed at the Council, only giving her fair share of advice when it was specifically ask of her. Obi-Wan had always been able to separate herself from her personal preoccupations, she managed to do it when Qui-Gon had passed away and she was busy being knighted and shoved with a new Padawan to take care of. She had always been able to multitask even at the most problematic of situations, and the thought that she couldn´t do her job as she usually did because her mind was too busy thinking about Anakin Skywalker simply wouldn´t do.
She was now walking through the corridors of the Temple like a ghost, staring at the tall windows waiting to see a landing ship that appeared familiar. Waiting to see the easy smirk that her husband usually wore when he accomplish anything. Waiting for his laughter and his voice.
"Could you be more pathetic?"
The red-haired Jedi turned around to see Quinlan Vos staring up at her with mocking eyes.
"Really, Kenobi, I could feel you mopping from the other side of the Temple…"
"What are you doing here?"
"That´s no way to welcome an old friend…"
Obi-Wan rolled her eyes, abandoning her miserable parade to go back to her usual pretended dislike of whatever Quinlan was saying now.
"You were the one who just called me "pathetic".
"Well, you certainly look the part" the Kiffar mocked, walking towards her with a relaxed demeanor "You look pale and almost half-dead."
"I haven´t been sleeping well…"
"Who would have thought that the great Obi-Wan Kenobi was being worn out by the war…" he laughed soundly.
Obi-Wan frowned at the teasing, unamused.
"You are the only one around here that actually thinks that the war is something funny."
"Really?" Quinlan kept teasing, putting one of his big hands on her shoulder "Seems to me that Temple life has you all tired and anxious."
Obi-Wan almost flushes, not for embarrassment, but because she is almost grateful for the fact that Quinlan confused her recent behavior with her being restless for being kept from the war than from being kept from her Padawan instead.
"Speaking of which, shouldn´t you be on the front?" Obi-Wan questioned, almost smirking with delight when Quinlan´s cheeks turned slightly red.
"Well, you know me… I´m more suited for espionage and sleuth missions" he grinned back while they walk down the corridor.
"So they have your running around and about?" Obi-Wan asked with a small giggle.
"Someone has to do the dirty work."
"Oh, I´m sure."
Quinlan came suddenly to a stop, looking down at her with a weird expression on his face. In Obi-Wan´s experience that was not a good sign but she waited for him to say whatever he felt like it, as usual.
"I heard that they´ve made you a Master of the Council…"
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at that, suddenly remembering that Quinlan wasn´t around during the time she was appointed to the Council. The female Jedi pursed her lips and looked forward.
"Yes, they did."
Quinlan only dropped a long whistle full of scorn.
"Well, Well, how funny things have turned out" the Kiffar grinned to himself, Obi-Wan glanced at him with a deep frown.
"What´s that supposed to mean?"
"It´s just that your Padawan it´s not even out of the cradle yet and they give you a promotion, how does that work?"
Obi-Wan scoffed.
"You are just jealous that you don't´ get to be appointed to the Council."
"Oh, sure. Of course that it. As if I wanted to be seated there night and day listening to Mace Windu bitch about whatever happened during the week…"
Obi-Wan rolled her eyes dramatically "You are so uncivilized..."
Quinlan started laughing out loud and Obi-Wan smiled at the simple gesture of friendly banter. She has missed that; just laughing and enjoy herself with an old friend, since the war, and especially since Anakin´s has gone on his own missions, she has been gloomy and tensed. This was the first time she has enjoyed herself in a long while.
"So, you can laugh…" Quinlan remarked.
"What?" Obi-Wan asked, still giggling silly.
"You haven´t." he shrugged "… for a while. I´ve been here a couple of days, and you haven´t even noticed me when I passed you in the halls, you looked unhappy."
Obi-Wan only stared at her old friend as if the man was talking gibberish but before saying something the calming hand of the Kifffar Jedi landed on her shoulder, grounding her, reminding her that she was still here, that someone could see through her armor and not judge her for it.
"I´m on your side" Quinlan told her, whispering, showing her all the love that he had always gave to her since they were children. "If you are not happy, I can´t be either. You know this, don´t hide it from me."
Obi-Wan felt suddenly overwhelmed she couldn´t quite speak. A first, to someone like her. She wasn´t used to be rendered speechless, but the love she felt coming from the man in front of her made her heart beat faster and her head to swim in unprocessed thoughts.
"Now… follow me." Quinlan invites.
The tall man takes her by the hand and pulls her through the corridors and down the stairs; Obi-Wan was too surprised, too moved, too dazed to object at the out-of-place treatment. Half her head was fighting surprising tears that were trying to burst out of her eyes and the other was hiding the silly laughter that was contained behind her lips.
When her friend finally stopped, they were in the middle of the Temple´s hangar.
"We are here…" The man announced.
"The hangar?" She questioned, almost insulted, looking around at the clones preparing and landing ships.
Quinlan moved his brows up and down in a mischievous manner.
"You know I hate this place." Obi-Wan said, smiling even through her confession, but secretly thankful to shake the weird moment they lived in the halls of the Temple. She didn´t do well with emotional.
"Well, you are about to love it." He promised with the same tricky smile, pulling her by the hand again.
Obi-Wan had half a mind to roll her eyes at been manhandle once more but she allowed him to do so since he had cheered her and get her out of her depressing state.
When he stopped again, they were facing a Republic starship, it was clean white with blue stripes at the wings. She had seen this model, she had used it herself. It was nothing out of this world.
"What it´s this about?"
"It´s a ship."
"I can see that, Quinlan." Obi-Wan scolded without anger "What I don´t see it´s why you are showing it to me."
"You should be more excited, you know?" he said, crossing his strong arms over his chest.
"I don´t see why this would be exciting…" She mimicked the pose.
"Really?" a different voice beside her exclaimed. "I´m offended by that statement."
Obi-Wan turned on her heels with a confused face, but the speed of her heart was tale-telling on its own. Her ears, her heart, her soul knew that voice.
The grinning face of Anakin Skywalker was standing there, looking down at her with amusement. He was inches taller, he was tall and strong and beautiful. And Obi-Wan could melt with the intense light he was shining her way.
Quinlan´s voice barely register on her back.
"I know that you have a tendency to fall apart without the little rat by your side" he joked, not knowing how much truth that declaration held. "So I thought it was time to bring him back home."
Obi-Wan´s eyes were lost into Anakin´s blue ones. She was interrupted in that moment. She was lost into the perfection of what she felt. It scared her, but it also took her to places that she was dying to go. She was dying to finally go all the way, into danger, into madness, into wherever he was ready to take her.
"I must tell you Master, I´m not half as good without you that I am when I´m at your side."
Anakin´s words were controlled, measured, something that disconcerted Obi-Wan. He had always been so rash with his demonstration of his affection, so careless of the secret condition that they were in. But she wasn´t bothered, she was deeply touched. Because behind the disguised of simplicity and restrain off his words, the intent behind them were as powerful as if he had just swept her off her feet and kissed her in front of the crowd of the hangar.
Obi-Wan knew it was her turn to say something. Silence could be just as telling as words. She needed to say something, anything.
"I´m glad you are back" she managed to gasp. "I was worried you´d like to stay with Master Mundi instead of coming back to me."
It was dry and mocking, and Obi-Wan was afraid that Anakin would grow upset at the lack of sentiment. She was so excited, so full of emotion that she couldn´t contain herself, but years of Jedi training were doing their best to hold back all the new unexpected sentimentalism that it was threatening to expose her.
But Anakin only smiled, gave a look to Quinlan and shrugged his shoulders.
"I don´t think anyone would take me in, Master. They said I´m a nightmare to work with."
Quinlan laughed at that.
"You can say that again, Skywalker."
Obi-Wan looked at him so she would be able to concentrate once more, although she almost turned red at the powerful burning sensation of Anakin´s eyes staring at her skin.
"I must leave you now. I´m afraid I had a meeting with Master Koon."
"Had?" The red-haired Jedi questioned, perplexed by the relaxed manner that the male Jedi used.
"Yes, well, you know…mmm, I´m running late since I got distracted with bringing you here and all of that…"
"You are unbelievable." Obi-Wan scoffed and closing her eyes with a painful expression.
"I must go. See you Kenobi, take care Skywalker."
"Goodbye, Master Vos." Anakin nodded respectfully. Obi-Wan´s skin vibrating with a deep shake that traveled down her spine at the sound of his deep voice.
She turned to face him with some reservations, just to find him smiling down at her with devoted eyes and an easy smile.
Whatever he had gone through it had turned him into a more matured, controlled and peaceful man. His last promise of change and growth back into her mind at the sight of his deep eyes. They hadn´t miss their fire but they have gained strength and a confidence worthy of a Jedi. Obi-Wan could get lost into those passionate gems. And for a moment, she found herself lacking of merit to behold such a stare.
"I missed you, Master…" He said again.
Obi-Wan raised one eyebrow at that.
Then, a little lower and a bit closer, pulling her behind his ship where the eyes of the clones couldn´t reach but the noise of their conversations erased the sound of their secret whispers, he brought her closer still, making their noses touch and their breaths mix.
"…and I love you more than words can truly say."
She allowed a breathy laugh to escape her mouth, and the last thing she saw were his sparkling eyes before he sealed her lips with his own in a perfect kiss.
Back. And this was kind of a filler chapter but the end was worth all the pain. Also, next chapter it´s the last of "Devotion" and it will end with a goooooood long-due surprise, so come to read that one. :)
Also, excited because in the next batch we will meet the Clones and Ahsoka. Let´s do this, people.
UPDATE: I want to give a slight warning and tags that I can´t actually put in the first chapter (sadly) but this story will have alot of the Expanded Universe alongside the New Canon and Original Content. I will add notes of what it´s part of the expanded universe fo you guys that haven´t read any of it yet. Anakin´s missions with Master Mundi it´s part of the old expanded universe "Clone Wars: Republic" around Issue #58.