Thanks for the reviews!

Sigh. Just some scenes that nagged me. See you next chapter.

Chapter 21: With Love

by lightpathetic

KANAME was deliriously happy.

However, you wouldn't know to look at him right now.

He was fully aware of how he must appear to them being wheeled, looking half-dead, to his room, but his normally reliable endurance had failed him crucially. Maybe it was being home again and the relief sabotaged his determination to continue to suffer. Maybe it was the days of pain and the sleeplessness because of it – he was paranoid of taking drugs for obvious reasons and refused them steadfastly when he was conscious. Not that he couldn't stand pain but sometimes it wreaked havoc with his need to relax into a restful slumber. Of course, it didn't help that he hadn't been sleeping well before…

He next realised he was being prepared for bed. He would admit to himself that he was unaware of most of the trip to his room from the airstrip, pinpointed conveniently from the moments just after he'd nearly fallen on top of Shizuka – he'd been hugging her tightly at the time, unable to make himself let go of her as he sobbed like an angry toddler into her hair.

God, how he'd missed them. He was so afraid this was a cruel hallucination and he would wake to find himself alone. It would hardly be the first time...

Kaname eventually roused himself sufficiently to look around him.

"Where…?" he offered weakly.

"You're in your room, Sir," a uniformed woman assured quickly as she and another military medical attendant helped him into bed, just after efficiently removing his uniform and leaving him in his boxers. Kaname shook his head. That was not what he'd wanted to know.

"My…"

"Sir?"

Kaname's eyes began to tear up as his face reflected such desperate yearning even the male officer became shaken. Should he get the doctor?

Kaname closed his eyes in shame and the female medical officer took the opportunity to dab them. Come on. Focus. They don't know… "The family… I was with on the tarmac. I want… to see them."

"Sir. They are not allowed to enter…" the female medical officer began, knowing the elites he spoke of had been stopped before they could follow the Second Leader into the Leaders section of the second tier. She recalled the commotion as one of them called out his given name. Her colleague stopped her, however.

"Of course, Second Leader," he said, pulling the covers over him and arranging him comfortably. "I will see to it as soon as you are settled."

It was all the Second Leader needed to hear, apparently. He relaxed and promptly passed out again.

THE SUPREME LEADER was at that time on a call with Takuma Ichijou, the acting Second Leader for the time being, trying to press him on the offensive and the progress with the investigation into the bombing that had placed the Second Leader in his current predicament.

They were at least certain it was an assassination attempt. The bomber had perished in the blast – not surprising as he'd had the ordinance strapped to his person and under the uniform of a Monolith soldier – taking thirteen soldiers with him. Including one that had shouted a warning when he'd spotted the junior "officer" with an almost impolite insistence on approaching the Second Leader and rushed the assassin away, but not far enough to prevent the ensuing carnage and Kaname's being flung into the wall of the nearby building, despite the soldiers that had dashed in to protect him. His named was Sachin… something. She didn't recall his full name now. She would make sure of it before she called his family with the usual thanks on behalf of the Regime and assurances that his sacrifice would not be in vain.

She tried to do this for the more commendable feats of bravery. These were publicised and thus were of benefit to her politically. To be perceived as the Mother of the Nation helped her cause with the many mothers who sent their children into yet more fighting. Yet more dying. She cared as they did so "The Cause" must be worthy of their sacrifice, they thought, thus ensuring another generation would grow up expecting to fight for their country. It was a nice bonus that they all actually believed in it.

The soldiers that had survived will receive commendations, awards and promotions, she had decreed. An enormous bounty was on the head of the conspirators. However, there was precious little else to work with. The bomber and his equipment had been burnt or destroyed beyond all recognition.

"It could have been anyone, Yuuki," Takuma opined in fatigued exasperation. "We are awaiting an accounting of our enrolment numbers but considering what Kaname did last…"

"Not over the call, Takuma," Yuuki snapped, a bit annoyed to be called by her given name without being invited. However, Third Supreme Commander Ichijou did feel; given what he was accustomed to as an unfortunate result of his elite upbringing and, how instrumental he had been to their cause, not to mention how close he was to them in rank and relationship, that he was an equal and should treat them as such. Of course, because of the above Yuuki would let his easy familiarity slip on occasion, unless he stood to embarrass her. Still, she took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "I am aware that the suspect pool is numerous given that action, even among our own people who still harboured some… regard for their status."

She included herself in that group, despite her politics. It was hard not to. Yuuki still found herself fending off attacks of conscience whenever she thought of it. Was there any greater atrocity than exterminating the stuff your own dreams were made of?

"Keep investigating. I want no stone unturned."

"Of course, Yuuki. Out."

Yuuki looked up from the console at a knock on the door to her office. She sighed on seeing who it was in the glass window as she flipped the switch, releasing the lock mechanism.

"Ma'am!" the officer shouted, heels clicking as she saluted but Yuuki waved her on impatiently.

"Yes. What is it?"

"The Second Leader is requesting that the elites to be brought to his room, Ma'am. The senior medical officer is asking for this to be facilitated."

"The Senior Med…? Is the Second Leader in distress?"

"No, Ma'am. He just thinks he shouldn't excite himself unnecessarily."

Yuuki did pause briefly at this.

The Leaders did reside, if you could call Kaname's intermittent visitation residing, in a suite on the second tier that was heavily guarded, secure in its access and unique in its furnishings, all of which, save the seating area furniture, was carved from the rock-face. It was one of the oldest sections in the complex and the Leaders liked the Spartan feel, it reminding them both, of their own basic beginnings and that of the people that has once made a stand here.

The suite was positioned at one end of the tier. It had large picturesque carved windows that overlooked the valley. There was a small seating area with a fireplace, two bedrooms for the Leaders with beds of carved rock on which the mattresses were laid and a shared bathroom of the same blue-grey slate with a carved out sunken tub/shower, a long trough-like sink and carved out toilet with a wooden seat and cover. It was cosy and steeped in history. Including their own history together.

She realised she did not want them to be a part of it. Even though…

"Ma'am?"

Yuuki looked up at the officer, thinking to refuse, baulking at the thought of the Kiriyuus in their place. There were so many other more suitable rooms. Impressive luxurious rooms. Why couldn't he see them there?

"…Fine. Arrange it. Make sure… they are watched closely."

"Ma'am!"

The door closed behind the officer and Yuuki flicked back the locking switch, sinking back into her chair. She felt drained. She felt robbed of her husband and their unique life together. She felt exposed and embarrassed. It was silly, she knew. This was just a phase. Just… temporary. Even she had found them… beguiling despite her superior maturity and wisdom. She had indulged him knowing how he felt about them, knowing it would not last, having been assured it would not last. He… they would get… whatever this was out of their system and then he would love her all the more for having allowed it. For giving him what he needs now.

"You owe me, Kaname," she whispered into the almost stifling solitude around her. "You know I will never let you forget it."

"OF COURSE, IT'S NO COMPARISON to my room at the estate," Kaname replied, to the polite compliment about his minimalist room – it could even be seen as gloomy as only a series of three carved slits let in some light. Besides the bed, there was a table, a chair, a small cupboard and a set of drawers. He knew it wasn't to her taste by her uncomfortable choice of conversation fodder but he knew she meant no harm by it. It was her way of finding something good in a situation to chat about. "I loved the light in the mornings, the view of the roses, stables and cottages." Knowing you all were near me.

Kaname didn't state this last but it was in his eyes as he looked at Shizuka, holding her hand snugly as she sat on the bed beside him. The boys were also there at various points in the room. Ichiru was sitting on the other side of the bed at the corner as though he wished to bolt, Zero was on the chair beside Kaname and his mother. Zero was also proving himself useful having helped Kaname to eat and was now simply being companionable as they visited. They all wore barely disguised looks of shock at his appearance without his hat and uniform. Hardly a spot that they could see on his body was without bruising or bandages. He'd been mad to walk from the airplane.

The subject of the room's simplicity came up long after Kaname had refused the remainder of the chicken broth – he'd eaten a decent amount – and they had gotten the usual business of catch-up out of the way. The family had come in around the time a medical attendant was sitting with him trying to get him to eat something. Shizuka had taken the tray from the man with some confidence and turned to the invalid with a demeanour with which her boys were quite familiar. Thus it was that Kaname had been treated to their silence until he'd stopped staring daggers at the attendant and opened his mouth. The last sight of the medical attendant before leaving was of the notoriously stubborn Second Leader being fed his meal by the equally stubborn mother of two boys.

He did find himself enjoying it despite the initial embarrassment. He always cherished his easier interactions with the family but as Shizuka became parental, she also became more… familiar with his person, completely forgetting that her patient aspired to their contact being anything but. After all, he was injured, not dead. She sat tucked into his side, his hand and arm was near enough to her to caress her thigh, which he did to indicate his readiness for another mouthful, bitterly disappointed she didn't blush at his touch as she sometimes did. Despite the pain, Kaname did cherish the moments she would rub his lips with her fingers, without thinking, to clean any spilled broth, she innocent of the reason of his increasing sloppiness as he got to feel her slender digits against his sensitive lips.

Despite all this, Kaname still noticed the surreptitious scrutiny of his injuries and pain by Ichiru, noticed how his eyes darted to each grimace as Shizuka accidentally bumped into his chest. He felt the beginnings of a particular yearning steal over him as his left foot migrated stealthily to where Ichiru sat and touched him, a contact which was finally acknowledged when Ichiru reached to squeeze it before standing and moving away from the bed. Kaname felt his anguish at this rejection but not discouragement. On the contrary, a cold resolve began to supplant his disappointment.

Upon finally satisfying the Kiriyuus that he had made a decent effort with dinner and they moved on to other topics, the familiar one about his gifts came up. This brought Kaname to eventually demand that Shizuka tell him what she thought of his most recent ones. She paused at this, noting his careful scrutiny of her face as she thought of how to answer…

"Don't tell me you don't like them…?"

"Actually…"

"Shizuka, I thought we were past this pretence…"

"It's not pretence! I was never one for such ostentation…!"

"That's not true, Shizuka."

Shizuka frowned at this statement. This certainty. Kaname was watching her with that unique blend of censure, hurt and threat that often featured in certain impasses with the Kiriyuus. The ones where they would try to distance themselves from him. He wasn't a fool. He'd spotted their shenanigans ages ago. Yes, including how they avoided being seen with him. Their familiar discussions of his gifts began when he, full of optimism about his love for them, would scour the Regime's Holdings for the most expensive or unique or beautiful items to bring for them. Peace offerings, tokens of affection of stunning expense and workmanship, simply because he could. And they would refuse them. Claiming it was not to their taste. He did eventually change his strategy to more personal items, noticing that their home and their possessions were pretty simple for elites. A fact he'd liked about them. He'd honoured their wishes… only to have Shizuka admit that their reasons for this were also false. That it was all because of incredible hardship she hadn't seen fit to tell him about.

"I've done some research on the sale of your possessions."

"Why would you waste time like that, Kaname?" Shizuka laughed uneasily trying to retrieve her hand to move away from the unnerving stare. He held on tighter, however. Almost bruising her flesh. Shizuka barely hid a wince as she returned to the bed.

"I managed to find an inventory…"

"Why don't you just get to the point, Kaname?" Zero demanded, going to stand next to his mother in support. Why was he bringing this up?

"I'm only saying that your mother owned some of the finest pieces of jewellery. Unique and very expensive. No wonder you knew what to get for the Supreme Leader…"

"Many of those were in the family for…"

"Yes. Decades. Like the necklace I gave you for your second gift. You'd turned white the moment you saw it but I never knew why until now. The pamphlet's inventory write up said, 'own a piece of history with this gift from Queen Anne to our principal's great grandmother'. You'd just given it back to me and left. I didn't know about it's origins. You didn't see fit to tell me any of that…"

"How, Kaname? How could I voice that I knew who had bought that necklace? How could I voice the bitter disappointment in myself that I lived with the person that had probably murdered Lady Sutton and stolen her property…?"

"I didn't…"

"Now who's lying?"

"You should have told me," Kaname stated gruffly, but looking away from her eyes. It had been a bad mistake. An unintentional mistake. As soon as he'd seen it in the Treasury listing he'd thought of her. A string of five large yellow diamonds each surrounded by six smaller ones in a star pattern. He'd wanted so much to impress her. He didn't think that she would know the piece. He didn't think… at all...

"I'm sorry, Shizuka," Kaname said softly. "I never intended to expose you to… to insult you. Any of you. I want so badly to make it up to you."

"You can't, Kaname. And sending me more looted jewellery certainly doesn't help…"

"I know. I know…"

Kaname closed his eyes at this, suddenly exhausted. Too tired of fighting to mention that he'd actually ordered that jewellery for her. Not that they would believe him. It seemed like an eternity ago now. Keeping them safe for suitable occasions to give them to her. One such occasion, he'd hoped, would have been the Ball.

He'd put a lot of thought into them. Nothing too large to compete with her slender elegance or to offend her taste but the jewels were of such size, quality and quantity as to leave no one in doubt of her status with him. He'd ensured all the stones were flawless and that each piece contained priceless, rare blue diamonds which brought out the flecks of blue he thought he saw in her eyes. It was a running joke in his mind. He would let her think they were sapphires or she'd never wear them and he felt good giving her something as rare as he thought she was, despite the significant hit to the Monolith Treasury.

"Perhaps we should go and let you sleep…" Zero suggested, more to slay the awkward silence than anything. Kaname jerked awake and tightened his grip.

"No! Please. Not yet…"

"What happened to you?"

The others did seem startled by this question, even Kaname. It seemed they were all resigned to Ichiru just sulking during this visit.

"You know. I… wasn't paying attention to where I was going and fell…"

Kaname trailed off miserably as Ichiru turned and marched off to a window. It was a lie. Worse, a familiar lie. He never shared any information. Never trusted them. What was the point of any of this?

"Let me guess," Zero spoke up teasingly as Kaname turned to watch Ichiru in concern. "Was it off a building this time? You look terrible."

"Something like that," Kaname said absently, his mind still preoccupied with just why he required caution. It was hard remembering sometimes, especially when he hurt them. He disliked the distrust between them as much or more than they did. He wished he could tell them about his life, what he did. Why he did it. He longed to convince them of the righteousness of it. All of it. It would put even his gifts in perspective. But, no matter what he did, the gulf between their sides just seemed to continue to widen.

He supposed his caution prevented them from having to worry as he did about the now very real threat of assassination as much as it protected himself in case they somehow were encouraged by his proven vulnerability and the existence of a conspiracy against him. He wondered if they would join it if they were given the chance… He closed his eyes on another surge of sadness at the fact that this relationship could never be normal, could never be relied upon. Would never… last. An action which Shizuka took as a sign that he should definitely rest.

"We should..."

"Not yet…" Kaname ordered, reflexively tightening his hold as he felt her again try to remove her hand from his grasp.

"Kaname you need to rest," Zero insisted. "We've been here a good while. Your nurse will come and arrest us soon…"

"We'll be around when you wake up again, Kaname," Shizuka assured, finding it within her to cover his hand in her other to soothe him. She already regretted making him unhappy and she wondered at this. Did she really feel she needed to protect him from the consequences of his own actions? "We'll be here when you wake up. So get some sleep…"

But Kaname stubbornly held on.

"I insist you stay. Can't you stay?"

Shizuka and Zero exchanged looks.

"What are you so worried about, Kaname? You seem…"

Afraid? Ah yes. That fear. The one where this was all a dream and they would evaporate with the dawn and he would be alone again. He just couldn't shake it. It was then he thought of how he could get what he needed to relax. He'd been happier during the initial part of their separation and he'd convinced himself he knew why. He'd still felt their presence, you see. He just needed to feel that way again.

Kaname looked up at them, forcing a smile to his lips.

"I will agree to this," Kaname parried, changing the subject. "If you all come back tomorrow morning. After breakfast. I want you to try on the emerald and sapphire rope set for me, Shizuka. So bring it with you or, I will get up and fetch it myself. Without my wheelchair."

Shizuka seemed surprised by his knowledge of the contents of the jewellery boxes as much as by his audacity in ordering her to wear their contents. Kaname raised her hand to his lips and kissed it lingeringly before letting go. He had nothing to lose by insisting she begin to wear them. Hopefully, with time, she would come to forgive the source and accept his efforts to take care of her.

The family turned to go after making sure he was comfortable. All except Ichiru who'd simply headed for the door.

"Wait."

"No, Kaname," Zero insisted. "We'll see you tomorrow…"

"I meant Ichiru. I… need help with my bandages. I want to change them before I go to sleep. It will only take a few minutes…"

"Haven't you a nurse for that?" Ichiru snapped, as he looked away from Zero's concerned eyes to the invalid on the bed.

"Yes," Kaname said simply but beckoned him forward anyway as he made to sit up with difficulty. Zero rushed forward to help.

"I'll do it, Kaname…" Zero offered.

"No. You both fed me. Shizuka held my hand. I want Ichiru. I don't think he'll want to refuse. Right, Ichiru?" Kaname asked, meeting his eyes, daring him silently.

Ichiru did want to do just that. Refuse. He was annoyed Kaname was injured. He wanted to leave this place and clearly, Kaname was not in the position to take them away from here. He was bitterly disappointed for that alone. Now to have Kaname try this… If he could have left without repercussions, he would have. Ichiru was well aware of the liberties that he had been allowed to have and hence, the meaning of the threat in Kaname's dark stare. He sighed as he stepped forward. He supposed he could handle the bandages if it kept him happy.

He ignored Zero's look of warning as he walked forward to the bed. Kaname gestured to the case on the table. Zero headed towards it.

"I'll get them…"

"No, Zero. You two can go. Ichiru does this sort of thing all the time. I'll see you both tomorrow."

Zero did frown at this. Kaname was getting rid of them to get Ichiru alone. He wondered at this. He didn't think Kaname could do much in his condition. He could barely raise his head. Ichiru on the other hand…

"Do you think he knows?" Shizuka asked urgently, as they were escorted from the suite. Zero shrugged.

"Probably."

"What do you think he will do?" Shizuka asked, not for the first time. Zero shrugged. Again. They could only hope he would understand or, at least give them a chance to explain, before he did anything foolish.

"WAIT

"What?"

"I want a bath first."

"You want me to bathe you?!"

"Yes."

Ichiru flung the bandages back into the case and paced away to calm himself.

"Why?! You have…"

"I know what I have, Ichiru. You're going to give me a bath and then reapply my bandages. There should be a basin on the table. Get some warm water from the bathroom."

Ichiru turned to take the basin and then stormed from bedroom. After some quizzical looks from the guards and loud noises in the bathroom, Ichiru was back with little abatement in his temper. Kaname felt a thrill take over him.

"Have you done this before?"

"Yes."

Kaname nodded him on as Ichiru came over and pushed the basin onto the chair Zero had just vacated. He went over to the cupboards to look for towels but also took the opportunity to snoop. Kaname indulged him for a few moments before he redirected his efforts.

"You'll have better luck over there."

Ichiru closed the cupboard doors and went over to the drawers. He easily found what he was looking for. Kaname's possessions were few. At least, what he kept here in this bedroom.

It wasn't long before a larger towel was placed beneath the patient and Ichiru began to remove the old bandages. Kaname winced and moaned in pain at intervals, but it otherwise went smoothly. He was badly battered Ichiru noticed, openly regarding Kaname's naked body, his fingers tracing some of the bruising as Kaname stayed still watching him, his absorbed face. It all looked painful. Very painful.

"What happened?" he whispered. Kaname shook his head slowly and met his eyes with a familiar look. Ichiru felt his anger again. He would have to earn that information.

Ichiru began to bathe him. Gently. Completely at odds with his present attitude. He began with his face and carefully washed over his neck, chest, stomach, along his legs… Going deliberately over his bruised flesh, washing the badly sprained left arm he kept tucked close to him, the angry black and blue and purple splotches on his torso and forehead, the abrasions and wounds on his limbs, the badly swollen joints of he left foot. He did try not to cause pain but it was inevitable given the extent of his injuries. Hence, they were soon under a spell unique to the two of them as Ichiru did eventually escape his self-pity to become engrossed by each grimace of pain as he rubbed or dabbed at them. Soon, Kaname was very obviously offering his lips but Ichiru merely gestured for him to roll onto his side by tilting his head away from said lips.

"Was it a raid? Tell me."

Kaname, who was now on his stomach fuming at being thwarted, bit his lip as he noticed the quiet, whispered command to his voice as the warm moist cloth slid up and down the insides of his thighs…

"I can't say but…I did fall. I slammed into a wall then… I don't remember much after that. I next woke up in my quarters with a doctor fixing my arm."

"It was dislocated?"

"Yes… At the shoulder… my elbow was badly sprained."

Ichiru sucked his breath through his teeth as he touched it. He rubbed the cloth firmly along the shoulder as Kaname tensed…

"What about your chest? Broken ribs?"

"No…" Kaname breathed, as he cherished the pain he was allowed to enjoy.

"Really? They were tightly strapped. As though broken." The cloth was removed from his shoulder to the bath, then eventually returned to his back, the renewed warmth sliding down his back and ever so slightly over to press into the bruised area of his ribcage. Kaname inhaled sharply, his eyes rolling languorously in their sockets.

"No. Just… cracked. Two cracked ribs. Slipped disc… in lower back."

"I see."

Ichiru finished what he was doing quickly and stood, dropping the cloth back into the water. He covered Kaname with the towel and began to dab him dry. He then carefully turned him over, ignoring the improbably engorged member that invited his attention as he continued to dry him off with a view to reapplying the bandages. Kaname tried unsuccessfully to capture his gaze.

"Ichiru…"

"I'm going to empty this basin. I'll be right back."

"Ichiru! Stop!"

Ichiru wanted to ignore him… He did, however, turn and go back over to Kaname. He, of course, knew what the brunette was upset about. Even in his state, he wanted him to…

"Come here."

"My hands are full."

"Ichiru…"

"No. Your ribs are broken. You can barely walk. You couldn't stop me if…" Ichiru stopped in shame. It didn't help matters that his hands trembled at the thought, the water sloshed tellingly.

"What? Do you mean… if you get carried away?" Kaname breathed, writhing a little as his body also responded to… the implications.

"Stop it! You've absolutely no sense of self-preservation. None!"

"You're overreacting. I've been through much worse than this."

"This is getting heavy. I should go…"

"Why? Is it because you're getting what you need elsewhere?"

This stopped Ichiru in his tracks. He took a moment to compose himself before turning back to face Kaname.

"Ah. So the truth is that mundane," Kaname uttered caustically, looking away to cradle his throbbing arm in bitter disappointment.

"No. No it isn't," Ichiru countered. "I'm leaving because I can't trust you. You lied about the extent of your injuries, Kaname. I gave you a chance to earn it and you blew it. You!"

"Fuck it! I'm sorry! I'm… What do you want me to say?" Kaname pleaded anxiously. "I was afraid you wouldn't… touch me…"

"You were right," the teen replied, turning again to go. Kaname made to stand.

"Wait. Please…"

"Kaname! Stay in bed!"

"I'm sorry. Please don't go…"

Ichiru sighed lengthily before placing the basin on the floor and going back over to the bed. Kaname watched in some relief as Ichiru helped him back onto it, lifting his legs onto the damp towel.

"I'll empty the basin and wash my hands then do your bandages. I'm not going anywhere."

"Not yet. Stay with me," Kaname begged, patting the mattress, ordering Ichiru to sit beside him. Ichiru sat, annoyed at himself. He was tempted, goddammit, even knowing better. But he wondered about calling his bluff and just leaving. Kaname had hinted at his cheating. Did he… suspect?

Kaname grabbed Ichiru into a kiss. Achingly hot, instantly deep. He longed to seduce him, to be seduced. He felt as though he would break if he didn't get Ichiru to be like before. It was reckless, he knew. But all he could think of was his escape into a blistering ecstasy he knew he could find with Ichiru. He was already drunk on the prospect, his body alive with just the promise…

The youth, however, turned and pulled away but Kaname held on, nipped, and kissed his neck. Ichiru's eyes closed on the sensation, both of the kiss and the tortured moan against his flesh. It hurt Kaname to move like this. And he was enjoying every moment of it.

"Kaname. Wait. You'll hurt your…"

"I don't care," Kaname whispered harshly. "Fuck me, Ichiru. Now…"

Kaname broke off as he met Ichiru's lips again. Again pushing inside and devouring his heat. Ichiru responded, finally, taking over to lap at then suck on his searching tongue, impatiently biting his lips as Kaname cupped and massaged his throbbing length, causing the brunette to tremble at the pain. He cried out as Ichiru's hand splayed on his chest and pushed…

"No. Wait…"

"No. Please…"

"We should have a safe word. In case…"

Kaname moaned and kissed him again, reaching under the teen's shirt and raking his fingernails down the length of his torso. For fuck's sake…!

Ichiru pulled away and stood marching away from Kaname, the brunette only just stopped himself from falling off the bed.

"Ichiru! Goddammit. Come here or…"

"What?" Ichiru demanded, becoming colder in the face of another threat. Kaname closed his eyes and tried to will himself to think.

"Fine. Talk to me. Tell me… what you need from me. I'm willing to listen now."

"I don't believe you…"

"I'll do anything you want. Just don't leave me like this. Please."

"Why? Why must you do this now? You can barely…"

"I don't want my pain… to be only be about my failures, Ichiru. I'd rather you take that from me as only you can. I love feeling absolved, feeling weightless and free. I get that from the lingering evidence of your… possession of me. From how you… hurt me…"

"You mean abuse you, Kaname. You don't even care about controls or safety…"

"I like the danger. I like everything about what we have…"

"Get this straight: we have nothing like that! That was one time after a horrifying experience. I've never wanted anything like that!"

"Bullshit. You're hard right now and not just because of a few kisses. The only thing missing is my mobility and I regret that. You like to be persuaded. To put up some token moral resistance to be knocked down. I get that. But as you can see I'm a little handicapped right now so if we can just skip it this once, I'd be very grateful."

"Go to hell," Ichiru lobbed back as he took up the basin. "You sick piece of…"

"I'm telling you I can handle it. You don't have to be afraid that you'll hurt me like you did Zero."

"What did you just say?"

Kaname lurched forward as Ichiru again stalled on his way to the door.

"You heard me. It wasn't hard to guess from how upset you were. Your reaction didn't make sense if it was someone else that had done that to him. What happened? Was the price high enough for you to get over your precious scruples?"

"Fuck you. Fuck you and the evil beast you rode in on…"

Kaname somehow caught him as Ichiru moved away from him towards the door. He could tell the teen was upset. He was shaking, indelicate in his movements.

"Ichiru…"

"No! Don't touch me!"

Ichiru flailed wildly as he shoved him away from touching him but Kaname grabbed for him. Ichiru off-balanced and dropped the basin of water. The next thing he knew, they were both on the ground in a puddle of water and Kaname was coughing and retching as his body stiffened in such pain he hoped to pass out to gain relief. Ichiru had even fallen onto him bodily, compromising his already painful arm and chest.

"Kaname… Kaname! Let me see!"

Ichiru watched Kaname's wide tear-filled eyes in some alarm before inspecting him. He was panicking. Should he call the guards? The doctor?

"I'll get help…"

"No…! Don't. Just help… me up…"

"Your ribs could be…!"

"No. She'll arrest you. Just put me in… the bed."

Ichiru stood and helped Kaname to his feet. He buried his face into Ichiru's neck as he cried audibly at being moved the short distance to the bed. Ichiru was frantic. He'd landed on him!

"You see? I told you…!"

Kaname laid back on the bed as Ichiru inspected him carefully, pressing his ribs as Kaname cried, touching his shoulder and elbow. He eventually dried him again, wiped his hands in some alcohol he'd found in his case, cleaned his bruises and scrapes the same way and then began to bandage him, getting him to sit up for the process.

Kaname eventually settled into an uneasy stillness as he endured, tucking his face into Ichiru's shoulder, enjoying the comfort of his closeness as the boy wound bandages tightly around his chest. His mind went again to the explosion, recalling the soldier that had tried to gain access to him before… all hell broke loose. Kaname squeezed his eyes closed, the doubts plaguing him again. Had he gone too far? Was he losing the faith of his men? Did he deserve to lose the faith of his men?

"Kaname…?" Ichiru asked as he realised the brunette was crying again. He reached up to hold him but Kaname pulled away.

"Do you want… someone else? Is that it? Are you no longer… attracted to me?"

"Is this reversed psychology now? Kaname, you can't even sit up without…"

"I'm sorry about what I'd said. I… only meant to say…"

"I know what you were trying to say."

"Then have pity on me. Have… mercy on me."

"Kaname…"

"You fell on top of me and I'm still alive. All I'd wanted…"

"Kaname…" Ichiru continued to protest, shaking his head more in disbelief than refusal.

Kaname reached up to silence him, to still him, placing his thumb against his lips. Ichiru's eyes lidded on the sensation of his touch, his lips parting almost of their own volition, allowing the digit inside against his teeth. Ichiru opened to trap it there, testing the slender pad between his teeth, biting down delicately, communicating a bold desire than the brunette read easily. Kaname freed his thumb and began to rub the teen's gums and teeth firmly back and forth. Ichiru groaned and caught his wrist to still him.

"Your teeth are on edge for me now, aren't they? You pretend you're so much better than I am and yet it's all you can do to stop yourself from…"

Kaname gasped as Ichiru suddenly sank his teeth into the fleshy part of his palm, yet his legs curled as he realised he would finally…

Kaname cried out as he was shoved back on the bed and straddled. Ichiru covered his mouth with one hand as he undid his pants but then he removed his hand and backhanded Kaname in the face. The brunette whimpered on the blow and writhed but did not cry out. He understood that he had to be quiet.

Ichiru slapped him again, enjoying this simple humiliation as much as the recipient, before pushing up onto Kaname's sore chest and parting his legs with his own. Kaname convulsed on the pain, moaning pitifully as Ichiru raised his legs indelicately then bent to devour his stiff weeping cock. He cried out again as his body coursed with an intense pleasure that was unique as much as it was mind-blowing. He was barely aware of existence outside of Ichiru and his mouth on his hot, pulsing flesh, his exquisitely stinging body which thrummed with a cloyingly devastating rhythm of pleasure and pain that nearly made him insane. He slipped his right hand into the teen's hair to still his ravenous drawing on him but his hand was slapped away as teeth sank into his head and his tender scrotum was wrenched mercilessly. He drew a halting hiccoughing breath born of acute agony as he arched. He couldn't get enough.

Ichiru rose and repeatedly punched the brunette's injured, swollen shoulder before grabbing his wrists and shoving them carelessly above his head for good measure. He was rewarded by Kaname's tearful cry of pain which he absorbed in avid concentration as he impatiently ground his own dripping arousal against him.

He too was lost in their spell together as he next grabbed the brunette's neck with his left hand, all while he brought his own throbbing flesh to his tight entrance. He then squeezed his neck, bringing the weight of his body to bear, until Kaname began to gag, all before he shoved himself inside him, meeting his tightening heat with a dulcet shudder that nearly undid him. This was well spotted by Kaname who registered his objection by slapping at his face before raking his fingernails along Ichiru's arm, he not countenancing an abrupt end to this without getting what he needed.

The teen responded by gritting his teeth and pinning Kaname beneath him, shoving his legs onto his shoulders, his hands cruelly clasping the brunette's neck and left wrist as he plunged again and again, deeply and viciously, riding hard against the reddening cheeks of the soldier's behind, his own body coursing with a singular exhilaration as Kaname groaned in serious trauma beneath him.

Kaname's face showed his grimace of jaw-dropping pain, with the merest hint of the gnawing sensation of abject pleasure that engulfed him. His eyes devoured Ichiru's mindless face that echoed his own feelings as his unbearably sensitive sheath was plundered. It wasn't long until he finally convulsed in an ecstasy so dense only the whites of his eyes were visible as he grunted to cope. His good hand held Ichiru's wrist as in a death grip as he completely, ruthlessly embraced this exquisite pulsating maddening high. It was glorious while he was able to soar the heights of it, all before his stiffened, shuddering legs went limp against Ichiru as he plunged into the ensuing relief of unconsciousness.

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

Shizuka stood in her anxiety as she awaited the answer. Ichiru did realise he'd guessed correctly, having seen both guards for his brother and mother outside of his room. He did consider going elsewhere but he knew he had to face them sometime. He uneasily met Zero's eyes before looking at his mother.

"I bathed him, changed his dressings. He's asleep."

"That's all? He didn't…?"

"Mother!" Zero warned, not trusting speaking here. Ichiru shrugged.

"He didn't ask for anything else but to be comfortable enough so he could sleep."

"Really?" Shizuka said suspiciously as she finally noticed as Zero already had, his swollen lips and the scratches on his neck and arms, his dishevelled dress.

"Yes. Excuse me. I need a shower. I had an accident with the bath water."

This didn't dispel the suspicious looks from his family members as he went towards his bathroom and closed the door. He'd begun to undress listlessly when the bathroom door opened and his brother came in. Ichiru turned to look at him, realising that the long set of scratches on his chest and stomach would be visible, even in the mirror.

"How…?" Zero asked in puzzlement, unable to understand how Kaname was able to do this but broke off as Ichiru reached for him and hugged him. Tightly. Zero quickly recovered from his surprise to hold him back, seeing as only he could the distress Ichiru was in. They held each other for a long while in silence, up until Shizuka interrupted to remind them about dinner.

KANAME woke up and winced as he moved unthinkingly. Such a searing pain awoke in his body that he bitterly regretted being alive. To make matters worse, an overly chipper voice intruded on his misery…

"Good evening, Sir! How do you feel?"

"Thirsty and deadly."

"Um… of course, Sir. Here you go. Slowly…"

Kaname finished the proffered cup and then gestured for another, and another. He felt like standing under the shower with his mouth open.

"I've overslept?"

"Yes, Sir. By about two days."

"Two…?" Kaname searched the medical attendant's face to suss the lie.

"Yes, Sir. From the time the… family left, Sir."

From the time… Kaname's face broke in a rueful smile as he remembered. That's why he felt so sore… The sensation changed as his body adapted to the new perspective. He bit his lip as he tensed intimately and winced, all before that peculiar warmth spread throughout his limbs. He moaned in response to it. God, this was better than any drug in creation.

"What time is it?"

"Fourteen minutes to six..."

"Good. Help me up. I'm in time for dinner."

"IS IT ANOTHER 'INFORMATION' FILM?"

"Yes. But this version is only for you."

The Kiriyuus were having a fairly decent evening. Kaname showed up around the time they were about to sit down for dinner, a move they were familiar with where he was concerned, insisting he felt better as he winked at Ichiru, who flushed furiously and avoided his eyes. He was transferred from his wheelchair with the help of his attendants and Zero and, aside from occasionally grimacing painfully as he sat opposite the Supreme Leader at the other end of the table; he became more like his old self as the evening progressed, though his attendant had to assist him with his courses.

Now they were in the theatre. He'd announced, quite smugly, that he had something to show them. Their suspicion became aroused, however, when Yuuki asked, in surprise, if he really intended to show them that film. He'd only thrown her a glance that seemed to answer her query as she stood and prepared to go to the theatre as well.

Now they waited as the film was retrieved and loaded onto the equipment. They all sat on the same row, second from the front of the nine-rowed theatre, but Yuuki was at the end beside Kaname, who had been wheeled beside her in the aisle, Shizuka sat beside Yuuki then Zero and Ichiru on the other end. The Kiriyuus waited anxiously as the lights dimmed. They had gained nothing from quizzing the Leaders and Kaname only watched them with a contented smile which was oddly unnerving. Did it have something to do with their house? Had he started to rebuild? It was the likely scenario. A subject that was on all their minds. Even his.

But no. They were so wrong.

The film opened with a view of a balding man sitting in a chair under a lamp. He looked as though he lacked sleep but was well dressed, presumably for the camera. The Kiriyuus, however, didn't need the initial question of the interrogation. The man would have been instantly recognisable to anyone that had picked up a newspaper, seen a newsreel or come across a stamp or currency of any kind from the Channel Countries.

"My name is Jean-Alain, King of…"

"Kaname! What is this! What are you showing us?!" Shizuka shrieked, rising to her feet.

"Kaname, I told you…" Yuuki began, but Kaname stopped her.

"Shizuka, I'm showing you that I kept my promise to you all. This is the sovereign of…"

"I bloody well know what he is the sovereign of! As does the rest of the planet! Are you telling me you have… harmed this man?!"

"Shizuka, there is a war on with…"

"Fuck your war!" Shizuka screamed, startling everyone with her language, even the guards. It was so out of character for her, the projectionist paused the film in an effort to calm her down. "Is King Jean-Alain alive? Yes or no?"

Kaname looked to his wife for support but found none there. She'd tried to warn him. Despite what they thought of that man, of elites, the Kiriyuus were of the same class, possibly… the same family. War or no war, house or no house, they wouldn't understand. Hell, even she was having trouble with it herself. Her husband, bless his soul and his rabid dedication to "The Cause", did think she, suspiciously, lacked the enthusiasm of someone in her position about such a get. Luckily he'd "suggested" this in private or... Yuuki folded her arms and waited for his response. It was clear she was enjoying watching him squirm.

"Kaname!" Shizuka shouted. God, she was livid enough to… She looked around her for something to throw.

"…Yes," Kaname finally admitted, annoyed that Yuuki was right after all. They still identified with these people. "He is alive. For now. If you would watch the film he was going to apologise for…"

"I don't want any tortured apologies from that poor man!"

"Poor!?" Kaname scoffed. "Poor?! He does not deserve your sympathy. He authorised the attempt on our lives! And he's the filthiest elite of all because his family has perpetrated some of the worst atrocities across the fucking planet for their own gain…!"

"You should be one to talk, Kaname! What of his family!? Are they…?"

"They are fine. They're being held with him..."

"In the camps?!"

"No…! Dammit! Why are you so angry! All I'd wanted to show you was that I…"

"It's not about you or us, Kaname," Zero finally intervened in the shouting match, rising to hold his shaking mother. "It's the Royal Family…"

"They are just elites. Just like…"

"Us?" Ichiru finished, as Kaname faltered, finally finding his voice. He too was chilled by this. Did Kaname really have no sense of what he'd done?

"Where did you get him? Have you invaded the Channel Countries already?" Shizuka demanded, looking at Kaname as though he'd spat on Christ.

"No," Yuuki responded as her husband hesitated. "Kaname found them 'evacuating' to the East…"

"Yes. That's right! They were jumping ship like the rats they are…!"

"Zero," Shizuka interrupted impatiently. "Take me to my room. Please."

"Wait. Shizuka…"

"Leave it, Kaname," Zero ordered, alarmed by how frail his mother looked just then. "It's late. We'll talk again in the morning."

"Wait. Please," Kaname begged, first trying to get to his feet but giving up as it proved problematic. "I didn't mean to offend you. Any of you. I just wanted to show you I'd kept my promise to you. I told you that I would find and punish whoever had destroyed our home..."

"We understand, Kaname…"

"Then why are you so angry?! Would nothing please you?"

"Kaname, it's a shock. That's all. Give us the night to process this. Ichiru, are you coming?"

Ichiru was still staring at the screen. He seemed mesmerised by the image of the man who'd seemed larger than life all his life but was now... just an old man in an interrogation room that appeared to have lost the will to live. Kaname had done that to him. To prove some stupid point to them. Ichiru was horrified, certain that the film would reveal what actually happened. Kaname was not above doing something… cruel…

"Ichiru!" Shizuka called breathlessly. She was nearly hyperventilating she was so upset.

"Coming."

Ichiru got to his feet and turned to leave. He realised he didn't want to know either.

"THE FIRST TIME I met him was as a teenager. He came to a dedication of a building near my school…"

"Shh, mother. He said he wasn't dea…"

"He came to eight of my New Year's parties, Zero. Eight. He and the Qu…Queen. And the girls…"

"We'll talk to him in the morning, mother. Make him understand…"

"He's lying. I know he's lying. That was a fucking snuff film…"

"No, mother. Kaname knows better than to show us something like that…"

"He doesn't," Shizuka sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He has no humanity left. Or he thinks we don't have any. He's evil. Pure evil."

"Shhh, mother. They'll hear…"

"So what? Do you expect me to live with knowing I caused Jean-Alain's death? My God, if anyone else saw that 'film'…" They wouldn't be able to set foot anywhere in the world again.

"What did you expect would happen when he invaded the Channel Countries, mother? That he would just install himself as the Prime Minister under Jean-Alain?"

"Ichiru, shut up…!" Zero bellowed, but Shizuka stopped him.

"I hoped he would lose, Ichiru. I hoped they would save us…!"

"Like before? When they just watched our people get slaughtered? I agree that they deserve nothing! Not even our grief!"

"That's enough, Ichiru! Go to bed!" Zero shouted, furious that he couldn't see that their mother was grieving for a friend and an icon not only a monarch. He could be so dense sometimes…

"Mother," Zero continued as Ichiru stormed out, "don't upset yourself. We'll explain how we feel, make sure they are alive. In the morning. You'll feel better once you know…"

"Ichiru is right, you know," Shizuka whispered.

"No. He's just being an idiot…"

"…About our inaction. We must have courage. Do the right thing. Before… Before it's too late…"

That was it. Shizuka broke down again, her deep racking sobs filling the room as Zero held her tightly to him.

to be continued

lightpathetic wrote this but these are not my characters. They are inspired by Vampire Knight.