Chapter 21
In this palace, Rumpelstiltskin raged, seethed, cursed the pathetic excuse for an evil queen he had chosen and this weak saviour princess he had been brought from this other world. His Belle stood by the window and lullabied the child she hadn't conceived, rocked it softly in her arms. This curse had devastated him, had robbed him of his immense power, of his independence, of his strength. It was a fate worse than death. He would welcome death before he could make his peace with this bleeding of his powers. But it had also robbed him of his Belle, robbed him of her joy, of her happiness, of her mind that had seeped out of her with the years that went by without any changes.
The Evil Queen he'd created had been a disappointment, a miscalculated gamble. He had rubbed his hands in glee when she had finally snapped and embraced the darkness in her, the one he had so carefully nurtured throughout the years. He had rejoiced when she'd grabbed the heart from her father's warm chest to toss into the sacrificial pyre where she cast the curse.
His one miscalculation had been her one weakness: her heart. Her love. Her remorse. The price of the Dark Curse- that last precious trace of her humanity- she had been unable to pay. And his curse, his life's work, his conduit to that world that was hiding Bae had slipped through her fingers with each bitter tear she had cried over that pathetic, weak excuse for a father Cora had procured for her offspring.
The foolish Queen had cost him everything with those absurd tears of hers.
As he had sat watching the clouds of purple smoke rolling in, harbingers of the curse, he had refused to see that upon him was a prison, not the freedom he had hungered for.
He had been reduced to small bursts of magic, to this nothingness, to whispering words in the ear of a demented queen, dark enough herself now after so many years of solitude. He hated the Evil Queen for her weakness. He hated her enough to wait. He hated her enough to have her heart removed from her chest. If he had done that himself from the beginning he would not had to wait twenty-eight years.
And again she had failed him. He had been so sure that her passions would have been enough this time around. He settled in to wait again. He had nothing but time. One way or another, he would be out of the Enchanted Forrest where Evil was but a caricature. That he promised on the gone mind of his Belle: a tooth for tooth, an eye for eye.
… … …
Emma had imagined that when she walked into a palace or a castle it would be lined with guards in pristine uniforms, but walking into Queen Snow White's castle was shockingly easy. Small wonder the imps had been decimating them. The door was ajar and anyone was welcome- even the enemies.
When she walked into the throne room, Regina's hand tightly held in hers, she realised that there was probably nothing left that the imps might want. Just devastation. When the Queen saw them walking into the great hall, she stood from her throne, the same achingly lose and ragged gown and Regina's heart in her hands.
"Don't even think about it!" Emma admonished harshly when she saw Queen Snow's fingers begin to clutch at the heart.
"Why are you back?" The Queen asked as she slumped tiredly into her throne.
"Because I want that heart back."
Queen Snow aimed for mocking but the tone fell just a little short of it. "And go back where you came from?"
Emma smiled sardonically. "Oh, I intend to. You and your enabling cronies can keep it all. This place is hell already. Saves me the trouble of sending you there. But I'm taking Regina with me. I'm taking all of her, heart and all. So hand it over and send us back."
"Never. Not while my True Love is asleep, not while my child is gone. I can't wake him and I can't bring her back. She comes to my presence, smelling of you, cheeks flushed from the love you've made. Thank her. She taught me all about revenge… Did she tell you what she is? What she's done?"
"Yes." Emma replied at the same time Regina said "No!"
"Send this woman home, Snow. I can't break the curse. I can't love her. I don't love her. Send her home to her son. Save her… from me."
For the mere aggravation of having Regina telling her what to do, Snow gave her heart a vicious squeeze that brought Regina to her knees. Not in front of Emma. Just not in front of her. Please, Regina thought wildly as she tried to stand up again.
"What's her name?" Regina paled further and sweat broke in her forehead. "You avoided her name. There is power in the name. In naming a thing. Tell me step-mother, what is her name?" Queen Snow enunciated slowly, a precise delivery.
Rumpelstiltskin had schooled Snow White well. There was power in a name. More so in this one. And Regina would never hand it over. But Emma was quicker. As soon as she saw Regina hitting the ground again, she stood between the Queen and Regina. "Emma. My name is Emma Swan."
The Queen paled violently. "Is this a joke? Where did you hear that name?" She slumped helplessly into the throne.
"It was the one thing my parents ever gave me." She stared at the Queen in challenge. "Why? Got it copyrighted?"
The Queen stood and walked to Regina towering over her still trying to stand up and suddenly it was as if all her sadness had melted away leaving only an angry predator, looming over the woman on the floor. "How did you know?" She growled out and grabbed Regina's shoulder with her bony fingers digging into what Emma knew to be soft skin and hard muscle.
"Know what?" Regina gasped softly but before she could understand what Snow had meant, the Queen's rage was again subdued by an ineffable sadness. Softly, she ran her index finger down Emma's cheek.
"You could be. You could be her. My Emma." It was the way the Queen whispered her name that mollified Emma, the tenderness of the sound. "Come with me, Emma Swan. Please."
Regina saw it then, the resemblance, the… familiarity of the traits, the chin, the eyes. She had known, of course she had. But Emma had been the lost princess, title enough, sufficient in its threat but now she was Snow's daughter. And it hurt in more ways than she could name. As Emma dug her heals unwilling to indulge the crony, Regina whispered softly. "You are a Princess because you came from a Queen, Emma. She is your mother…"
Emma's bottom lip trembled and her voice was a sad croak when she spoke. "That's not what a mother is, Regina, someone who'd abandon me at the side of a road. Someone I don't know."
"Because of me. Get to know her."
"If she figures that out, she won't let me out of here." Emma pleaded. "What about Henry? What about you?"
"Will you leave her behind, Emma?"
"Without a second thought, Regina."
"Not for me, Emma. Not like this. All your life you've wondered what she was like. This is your chance."
"Yeah, alright. But that doesn't mean that I…"
Regina smiled sadly and Emma followed the Queen. She had to force herself to let go, to do the right thing. It was so hard sharing this love with Snow White.
… … …
Emma walked behind Queen Snow. There was something there, something about the sadness- even about the anger hat called out to her, made her want to help, to do something about it, to give it some respite. In a way, this Queen was a lot like Regina, in all their losses, in the things they did.
The Queen stopped at a bed chamber and took a fortifying breath. The only guard Emma had seen in the whole kingdom stood inside, in full armour and a sword at the ready. He relaxed his stance when the Queen approached the bed and nodded sadly at her questioning look.
Emma looked at the bed and her skin crawled. The Queen approached the bed and sat on the worn chair that stood close to it. She took the man's hand in her hers and spoke softly to him, so softly Emma could not make up what she was saying. Silently, she motioned Emma to sit on the bed by the sleeping man. He was handsome, Emma thought, a slight smile on his sleeping face as if he had been dreaming of good things. Emma sat because she didn't really know what else to do. The Queen lovingly deposited the man's hand in Emma's and smiled, a fragile, terribly brittle smile. Emma held the large beefy hand in hers, not knowing what the Queen was hoping would happen but wishing that if it was for this man to wake up that it would work, because you could not wish this on anyone.
Form the doorjamb, Regina mourned the Snow she had loved, as devastated and alone as she was. Just as desperate. She hoped that her prince would wake up. She hoped Emma would be able to perform that miracle. Emma, who would end up having to chose between them unless she sent her home to her Boston.
"I suppose it was too good to be true." The Queen wiped a tear and stood. "You look a little like him. You could be mine…" Emma wondered if this Princess madness was really true, if there was any chance she might have a mother at all, and her heart gave a jolt between hope and horror. She looked at the sad woman in front of her. The madness was absent now, maybe just lurking around the corner.
She followed the Queen out of the room. Regina followed after stealing a glance at the door closing in on Snow's prince. They were somewhere horrible. All their happy endings had disappeared in the purple cloud of a curse. And the only thing she felt was remorse, something bone deep and disconcerting because she had thought that she would have enjoyed seeing Snow like this, half demented and absolutely crushed.
Her throat burned and her eyes filled. She took a moment to collect herself and stick out her chin, square her shoulders. The one good thing that she could do was to send Emma back. All of this? Well, it was well beyond her capabilities and she would die for it or with it. Whichever came first.
… … …
"I understand your pain Emma. No mother should have to lose her child." Queen Snow spoke softly but either because the lucidity was wearing out or because the mere voicing of that particular loss brought back her own, her eyes clouded over again. Her hand went to her flat belly and rubbed as if there had been life inside still. "I wish I could help you. There is no magic left." She slumped on the throne again and Emma saw her go into the fog of her mind. Her throat tightened.
"I think there is still some, here and there." She spoke tentatively. She wanted to touch the woman and offer comfort because no one deserved to be this desperate, this alone even if that person was the bitch standing between her and Regina's freedom and Henry's safety. "Maybe there's a way to use those little pockets of magic for this."
"For you to take her home with you?" Queen Snow screeched. "Not if we had abundant magic. Not after what she did to us. To me. No." The hand that Emma was reaching out to touch the Queen with retracted into the pocket of her jeans. She was such an idiot. "Do you love her?" The Queen asked. "How can you love someone who did all these things?"
"Because," Emma spoke without even looking at Regina. She could feel her presence, the anxiety, the worry, the fear. "We're not all pretty and perfect. My shit matches her shit. My darkness calls out to hers. She is so strong… I'm stronger with her. Where I jut out, she dips in. Where I'm soft, she's hard… Whatever fucked up analogy you want. I love her. All of it. She has shown me what she's done. In fucking vivid detail. With the intent of making me leave her behind. Maybe it's like a landscape: you got used to it, so you don't see it anymore. I see what you don't: the hurt, the regret. How the things she did cost her what she was. How those things left her as much of a ghost as you are. I see the beauty of the landscape you got so used to."
Queen Snow looked startled, confused. Angry.
"Leave it, Your Majesty. You wouldn't understand. Have you always been good? Do you even know what that means? Do you know how much it cost her to be bad? How much it's costing her to be good? No? I do. I love her for all that it cost her in the past, in the present, and I'm pretty sure, in the future."
Regina shrunk into the wall she was leaning against as tears run down her face. How was it possible to love with no heart in her? And yet, she did. And the part of her that wanted Emma safe, away from her own hell was, at that moment, dwarfed by the part that needed Emma more than the next breath.
"Do you think she can ever be good?"
"Jesus, you put a lot of stock in that good and evil crap. Even if she isn't good. You talk about being good like it's something you are born with or born as. Lemme tell you, though… good isn't born. It's made. With every kind word you give, with every hand you reach out when someone falls. I like what she is now. She made me something good. And I like this person she is. I like the person I am when I'm with her. Not the promise of something pretty. I love what's ugly about her."
"You're brave. You could be mine. Maybe you're mine." The Queen studied Emma's face as if she was picking apart very line, every shape, every shade of colour. "Huh… I think you have my chin…"
Emma smiled a little because she didn't know how else to respond. "Look, it's nice. It's a nice thought. God knows that all I've ever wanted was a family of my own. And Jesus, you'd fit the bill sweet as pie. But…"
"But?" Queen Snow pressed.
"But I need to get home. Henry. This is not the place for him. I let go of a son once. I will not let Henry go."
"Your son… Bring him here." Was the mild suggestion though Emma had to wonder. She could see the shadows of the madness fleeting in and out of the Queen's eyes and she was having trouble keeping up with the changes.
"Here? I can't bring him here." She felt Regina tensing, preparing for the fight. And she loved her a little bit more for it.
"This is not the place for him, I know. No place for any child." The shadows rolled into the Queen's blue, blue eyes. "That's why you can't have her, you see? Because she took you from me…"
"You can't be sure of that. That I'm your kid." And yet, a little corner of her wanted it fiercely.
But the Queen wasn't really hearing. "She is all that stands between us and them. She damned us to them. It's only fitting that she stays to stand between us and them." The tone was so reasonable that Emma was confused until Snow slumped onto her throne and caressed her empty belly. For all the time that had gone by, she still remembered, every day, carrying her child.
And Emma knew how it felt. Acutely.
The Queen remained quiet after that. Time, Emma realised, was of no consequence to her. But Emma felt each second tick by in her skin like deep gouges, each moment that Henry was alone in their world.
That indifference to Henry shredded any sympathy Emma might have felt for the woman who could, perhaps, be her mother. She wanted to go there and slap her back to the here and now, but her agitation seemed to make the Queen retreat further into her own mind. Emma walked to Regina and pulled her into her arms, to settle down to wait. Regina fought it for a second until she gave into the warmth and comfort it offered.
"I can find Rumpelstiltskin and ask." Regina offered with trepidation. It was a last resort after every other option had been exhausted.
"But you said…"Emma didn't complete the sentence as Regina was already nodding in agreement. It was a bad idea, the worst in the history of bad ideas but Regina had determined that it was a price she was willing to pay. Henry was all that mattered and a boy of ten cannot be alone the in the world. She would pay whatever price.
"I know what you're thinking, Regina." A soft voice sounded behind them. Emma felt Regina tense in her arms and closed them tighter around the woman but Regina needed no protection. She, again, put Emma behind her as if she could shield her. "You have nothing to fear from me, Your Majesty."
Regina did not utter a word, but her muscles were vibrating like the strings in a violin, tense, ready for the attack, Emma knew and braced herself for it, to be the plucky side kick again. It turned out, the voice and the shimmer of green in the darkness of the throne room was a fairy. A bona fide fairy, complete with wings and all. Emma bit her tongue and told herself this was completely within the expected for a world populated by Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin, an Evil Queen and imps and trolls. "What do you want from us?" She couldn't help the aggression. Distrust and fear were rolling off Regina and she responded to it.
The shapely fairy morphed into the old woman that had guided Regina from this world to Emma's and had healed her when Snow had nearly killed her. Still, trust didn't come easy to her. It never would. She pushed Emma firmly behind her, just to make sure. "You tricked me… Tinkerbelle." She ventured as the old woman once again became a fairy.
"No… I didn't tell you the whole truth. Forgive me. I wanted… we needed… the princess. Rumpelstiltskin is too interested in her and we both know he cannot be trusted. The time had come for the Saviour to be returned home. The princess of the prophecy was supposed to save us. We just didn't know how. We thought she would be the one to defeat ReulG'horm."
"And now you don't?" Emma asked.
"Now we believe that the prophecy leaves a lot to guess work."
"No kidding."
"No… no kidding." The fairy answered a little baffled by the language. "We believe now that it might not be in battle, but something altogether different."
"Right." Emma softly draped her arm over Regina and stood by her side in a move so smooth Regina didn't wrestle Emma back to safety. "Who's this we?"
"The fairies." The fairy in the blue dress that had stood behind Queen Snow spoke softly from behind the one in the green costume.
Regina tensed again but made no move to stand before Emma. "Why?"
"Because we failed."
"You think?" Emma snarked.
"Yes." The Blue Fairy spoke softly. "Because of me, of my pride we failed. I failed. The kingdom, Regina, Snow White… even you, Emma Swan. And when Green came to me and told me there might be a way. If I was willing to risk everything."
"And who are you?"
"Blue. I'm Blue."
Emma shifted her weight between her right and her left foot and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "Of course you are…" Regina rubbed her back, a little soothing gesture. "Okay, listen up, I'm not saying I believe you, but if I did… did you know where I was this whole time?"
By her side, Regina squeezed her hand. She hoped fervently that it was not the case. That they hadn't known where Emma was because she would pluck their wings inch by inch if they had left her alone in that world to go through the life Emma had.
"No!" Tinkerbelle spoke forcefully. She seemed brasher than the blue one, and therefore, at least to Emma, easier to trust. "I wouldn't care about the prophecy if I had known. I was already banished with nothing to lose." Emma gave her an appreciative look a mix of distrust still, and respect.
"How old are you again?"
"Fairies were born in the first dew of the world, Emma." Blue schooled. Emma was fairly sure she'd make a great teacher or a nun. She already had the disapproving tone down pat.
That was neither here nor there for Emma so she changed the subject. "So where is the Saviour? Seems to me this is just the guy to send us home."
Blue smiled as if she had it all figured out. "You are the saviour. The lost Princess. You."
Emma snorted. "Yeah sure. How high do pigs fly in this world of yours?"
"What does she mean by that?" The green fairy asked Regina.
"She doesn't believe it." Regina clarified. "it's a little too much for Emma."
"But you do, don't you? You have felt her magic. You know who she is. Isn't that why you're trying to send her home? To protect her?" The green fairy pressed.
Regina, however, was beyond anything. The nerves were catching up with her and she couldn't work down the knot in her throat.
"Yeah, sounds just like her." Emma poked Regina who looked on the verge of tears, fighting them tooth and nail.
But to Regina, it was clear as day: if the fairies knew who Emma was, Emma's chances of going back home to her son were dwindling by the second.
Emma pulled her tighter into her side and Regina lost her grip on her tight control. Tears slid down her cheeks, big, heavy and she was powerless to stop them. "I'm sorry, Emma… I'm so sorry."
"For what?" Emma asked slightly horrified by the tears, so unexpected.
"All of it. For hiding it from you. For roping you into this. For putting you in danger. For bringing you here. For not finding a way home for you."
Emma closed her arms around Regina and let her cry until there was nothing left.
The Blue Fairy approached once again. She raised her hand to soothe Regina but pulled back at Emma's almost snarl.
"There may be a way." The green fairy ventured softly.
"What? More enchanted wardrobes?" Regina queried acerbically wiping her face.
"No…" The fairy waited a beat and Emma knew trouble was coming. "A curse…"
"No." Regina shouted. Again she stood before Emma. "I couldn't do it the first time around. I will not do it now. Not for anything, Tinkerbelle."
"Let us explain better, Regina. " The fairy begged.
Emma was sure some of the meaning of the conversation was escaping her but she took Regina's arm and stood side by side with her. She was done with Regina shielding her from everything. They would do this together and that was it. "Then why did you mention the curse, Tinkerbelle?" Emma spoke the name with enough sass to unnerve the fairy. It figured, Emma thought. Pretty soon, Peter Pan himself would fly about the place.
"Same general principle."
"Then, in general principle, we say no." Emma replied and Regina's hand in hers squeezed in gratitude. Emma gave her a smile and then hardened her expression for the face-off with the fairies.
Tinkerbelle gave them a studious look and then there was some sort of non-verbal communication with Blue. Tinkerbelle had a smile on her face that could have been just a little too victorious. "I know it will work. Now I know it will… It is not the curse. And it requires but one sacrifice."
"No. No more sacrifices." Regina refused flatly. There was only one sacrifice for her and she was standing there holding her hand through all of this.
"No, Your Majesty, not like that. The sacrifice required is that of the prophecy: no one is left behind."
"What the hell are you talking about? Can't you people get to the point ever?" Emma advanced over both fairies.
"I mean, Emma Swan, that no matter how much we would like to, we leave no one behind. No matter how much they have wronged us, no matter how life would be better without them. This magic is white magic. It needs balance. Balance such as you two are- the light and the dark, the product of love and the product of hate. You are a match- in every way. Balance… No one stays behind."
"Yeah, okay." Emma pondered with a sideways glance at Regina, seeking her approval. "Seems a little too convenient for the two of you but alright… I'm game."
Regina, by her side, paled. "Yes," Tinkerbelle confirmed reading Regina's expression easily. "Him too."
"Okay… what do we have to do?"
"We speak to the Queen." Blue answered and she stole a glance at her Queen, still lost in her own darkness.
"I don't think she's with it at the moment." Emma commented.
"She is a part of it. Must be." And walked to the throne where Snow was gently caressing her empty belly, Regina's heart momentarily forgotten in her lap. "Your Majesty."
"They are still here."
"Because there is a way. You must try."
"The Evil Queen is not going anywhere."
"What if we all did?"
"And take our misery with us? Here or there, what difference would it make?"
"Misery is in your heart, dear Snow. Unless you let go of it, it will follow you wherever you go. But I was speaking of your people. You haven't forgotten about your people, have you? Your grief hasn't made you totally blind, dear Snow. I know it. Your suffering is not theirs. Theirs can be lessened. There is away. We go away and leave this land to ReulG'horm."
"But then it will win."
"And what are we winning, Snow? We were decimated, starved, fed upon. We have lived in misery for twenty-eight years. Now there is a chance of leaving the pain behind and starting again."
"Because of her!" Snow pointed at Regina and grabbed the heart in her lap, started squeezing.
Blue put her hand over the Queen's in a soothing motion just as Tinkerbelle and Emma both held Regina up. "And we will remain here because of you. It will be your guilt to carry, Snow. For your pride. For your bitterness."
Snow's fingers unclenched from the heart and Regina straightened. "How? There is no magic."
"You are holding it, Snow. Give it back to her. With your hearts beating together, there will be."
"Our hearts are not made alike. It will not work. I don't believe it."
"I do." Emma said surprising even herself.
"Oh, let's try. Let's try. Let's try." Rumpelstiltskin materialised by the small group, giggling, giggling. "Yes… yes, yes, yes."
The fairies tensed visibly, both of them, Tinkerbelle by Regina and Emma, Blue by Queen Snow. "This guy again?" Emma asked drawing attention to herself. "I don't think I like you much!" Emma commented. "Maybe we can leave this one here…" She suggested but both fairies shook their heads in refusal. Rumpelstiltskin smiled, smarmy, and it gave Emma the creeps.
Snow looked morosely at the heart in her hands. Her own heart thumped violently in her chest and everything in her screamed No. Emma moved forward and placed her hand on the emaciated one of the woman that was, unlikely as it seemed, her mother.
"Please."
The moment Emma touched her hand, Snow felt a jolt in the whole of her body and as her eyes closed, she saw herself, flushed, sweaty and smiling through the eyes of her newborn daughter, felt their hearts beating together and a joy unparalleled. Emma felt a charge in her whole body as if she was just coming home to a table set and a warm embrace. It rattled her and she pulled her hand back as if she had been burnt.
"I will have it back when this is done, step-mother." She whispered to Regina as the vision cleared and Emma's hand retracted from hers. "I will have it back."
"Like hell you will." Emma nearly screamed. "You will use her again for this, like you did for everything else so far. Whether this works or not, she goes free, with her heart. You do not get to keep her."
"I lost my daughter." Snow retorted firmly.
"I can be it if you want. But Regina goes free. With her heart. To do whatever she wants."
Snow could only see her herself with a daughter and the chance of catching up. What if? This Emma was an orphan, was she not? And she was tired of the fight. "Maybe you could let me be your mother. In this new land… maybe let me be a mother for a little while. There is a mother in me and that mother is childless. Nothing hurts more than the empty arms of a mother."
That was a truth that Emma knew in her own flesh, branded there by hot irons. "Yeah, okay. Maybe we can start as friends, though… ease us both into it…"
Snow's face brightened and a spark of the madness was there again. "Let her go then. Come to me now."
Emma was momentarily confused. She had through they had managed to the leave the crazy on the side long enough to make whatever this was work and just when she thought everything was going well, the queen spaced out again.
Blue touched Snow's hand again. "My dearest Snow… You must focus. Stop trying to hold on to the past and the future at the same time. Your arms are not long to hold both. You must choose one: either the past filled with pain or the future where there is a daughter, a friend, someone so full of love that she brought herself here for the sake of it."
"For her. Love for her." She pointed accusingly at Regina.
"Love is love, Snow. If one can feel it for a tree he will soon fell it for a stone. Love knows no measure."
"What if she is not mine? Are you sure she is mine?"
"You have been a mother without a child for twenty-eight years. Will you tell me now, Snow, that if there is a daughter to love, you will want to know what blood runs in her veins?"
Snow caressed her empty belly again. She was a mother. And for the first time there was a daughter that might let her be that. "What if I can't forgive Regina?"
"What if she can't forgive you?" Snow's eyes lit up with anger. It had always been so easy to blame the Evil Queen for everything. "What has been done, it was done because of what you cost her. You are not the only one who lost her true love to tragedy."
"But she's getting hers back."
"Snow… She's getting her second chance because she is risking it all for that chance. Do you think she is not terrified? Her fear is pungent in the air."
"I don't like it."
"It's not up to you, Snow."
"If this Emma is really my child, she is not free to live her life. She has obligations. She has… She has… She's mine. She's not free. I will not let her go." The spark of hope in Blue's eyes faded.
Tinkerbelle moved forward and spoke to the Queen herself. "In one way or another, we are all puppets, Your Majesty. But make no mistake. There is no forcing love. Emma was not forced to love the Evil Queen. There is a choice. We all have our choices. Emma's was to love deeply. To love the Evil Queen above and beyond all that was done. And if you give her a chance, if you give yourself the chance, if you open your hands and your heart, you may be so lucky that she will choose to love you too. Concentrate on the future, Your Majesty. The possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing."
"Regina told me that… once."
"And she was right. Belief is magic. Do you believe, You Majesty? Do you believe that, together, we can all heal?"
"I want to…"
"And that will do for now."
… … …
In a corner, Rumpelstiltskin bided his time. He had no patience for moping and tears and fainting spells. He knew what he wanted out of this and that the way to get it was to let it play out. In the end, it would all happen the way he wanted. Whether they knew it or not.
… … …
"Blue?"
"Yes, Snow, dear?"
"I don't want to remember." Snow leaned into the hands of the fairy, crushed by the weight of her own anger. "In this new land we are going to, I don't want to remember. I want to forget."
"I don't think I understand, Snow." Blue asked. In the privacy of the Queen's chambers, away from Rumpelstiltskin, the fairy could ask freely.
Snow looked at her prince, asleep in his bed. "If he is not awake, I don't want to remember. I don't want… I want to be someone else. No past. Let me have no past."
"Are you quite sure, Snow?"
"I am. I know I am not well. I know of the darkness in me. I don't want it… It weighs in my chest." She looked at the heart in her gnarled hands.
"Ever since Rumpelstiltskin has been whispering in your ear, Snow, you have not been yourself."
"I forgot who that is, Blue. But these hands," She looked at the them, at the heart in them, clutched so tightly still. "They are mine. I let him do this to me. So let me forget."
… … …
When Snow returned to the great hall, it was as if the room had been in suspended animation: Regina and Emma were huddled together with Tinkerbelle standing by; Rumpelstiltskin was studying one of his mirrors and the air was thick with apprehension.
Emma noticed the difference in the Queen. She seemed smaller, somehow, as if she had shrunk, as if something had been removed from her and that made her easier, more accessible.
She waited, breath baited, for whatever was going to happen next. And it was surprising: the Queen held out her hand cupping the dark, dark heart in it, offering it to Regina, silently, no proffered words of any kind, let alone apology. But it seemed genuine. Regina looked at the heart in her hand and gasped softly. For some reason, she couldn't reach out for it. She just couldn't.
"Well, come along, dearie, let's do this, the time's a-wasting."
"You better do it. Or he will." Snow commented, the note of concern not complete in her voice, a hint of threat too.
Regina's hand in Emma's squeezed a little. "Don't let him do it. I don't trust him." Emma beseeched, but Regina just wouldn't move. Rumpelstiltskin reached out and was about to grab the heart with his grubby, clawed hands when Emma, in the spur of the moment, reached out and grabbed it first despite the fact that it made her slightly nauseous to know she was holding a heart in her hand. Carefully, she brought it to her, cradled in her hands. "Is it supposed to be black?" She asked no one in particular, focused on the feel of it in her hand, warm and lightly pulsating.
"She darkened her heart with the things she's done." Snow whispered, relieved of the burden of that heart. She felt oddly free, lighter.
"You know that heart, Emma, you know how beautiful it is." Tinkerbelle whispered in Emma's ear. Curious, Emma brought the heart closer to her face. It seemed covered in ash or dust. She rubbed her thumb gently over it and the heart responded with a faint dark red glow. Tinkerbelle smiled.
"Ah…" Regina gasped at the sensation and rubbed at her chest where the heart should have lived.
Emma, fascinated, brought to heart close to her mouth and blew away the dust, gently. Regina felt it like a caress all over her body and soul. It felt warm and inviting. And the heart glowed, the top layer flying away in a flurry of dust, leaving behind a bruised but beautifully crimson heart. Emma smiled. "It wasn't handled carefully, that's all."
Impatiently, Rumpelstiltskin closed in on them. "Time and tide, Miss Swan. Time and tide."
Emma pulled Regina closer. "Ready."
"Yes."
… … …
Rumpelstiltskin was practically breaking apart at the seams, a giggly, nervous energy that seemed to have him bouncing on his feet, tasting victory in his tongue like a rich nectar.
… … …
On instinct more than knowledge, Emma pushed through the fabric of Regina's body until she felt the empty cavity that should house her heart. Gently, she rotated her fist and placed it delicately where it belonged. She pulled her hand back slowly enough to feel the tissues and muscles and tendons knitting themselves together. She kissed Regina's lips before her hand was completely out and the kiss she received back was all she had ever wanted: heart and soul hers.
Regina blinked and swayed for a second and Emma held her up to her.
"I got you. You're safe."
"I really am, Emma, my heart."
… … …
Around them, the traditional wave of magic of such events did not disappoint. Tinkerbelle and the Blue Fairy felt it. Rumpelstiltskin welcomed it and flexed his fingers savouring the moment. Queen Snow listened for movement in the heart of her beloved though nothing stirred.
Regina and Emma didn't. The kiss was magic, yes, but in its charm and emotion, in the warmth of lips against their own and in the way it made their legs tremble. The only magic they were aware of was of their hearts beating in tandem. And that was magic enough for them.
… … …
Blue cleared her throat. When Emma's forehead fell against Regina's, Tinkerbelle took it as her cue to explain, though a smile still played on her lips. The world was, at times, most disconcerting- even for someone who had lived so many lifetimes and seen so many love affairs.
"Emma has magic." She began softly until she got the women's attention. "It is your direct opposite, Regina. You have dark magic, Emma has white. Where yours was cultivated, hers is born. You are each other's direct opposites."
"Yeah. Opposites attract." Emma mumbled.
Tinkerbelle nodded in agreement. "Therefore, as everything in life and magic, you complete each other. You are the balance. Like the sunset and the sunrise. Or the summer and the winter. One without the other is incomplete. Thus united, you are whole."
"Cool. So how do we go about the spell? I'm in a hurry. Regina and I have a kid to get back to."
Tinkerbelle smiled briefly at that. It had been so long since she had been around nervous energy she was finding it a challenge to resist it.
"Oh, for the love of all that is holy in the world" Rumpelstiltskin interrupted. "Just cast it. You know the incantation, you have not forgotten it. Just do it."
Regina's nerve faltered at his voice but the Blue Fairy interrupted him. "Has your vision not spoken to you, Rumpelstiltskin? Magic will not come from incantations and it will not come from them alone." Rumpelstiltskin wanted to unleash his rage, take matters into his own hands but he knew even his magic was insufficient for this. Emma stood between him and the other women and by her simple presence pushed him back. It turned out that he was a coward still.
When the volatility in the air simmered down, the Tinkerbelle proceeded. "The magic that will carry us over is that of love. The love of soul mates, of one lover for the other. The love of a mother for a child, of a child for a mother, no matter the blood bond." As she spoke, she linked Regina's right hand to Emma's left. Then, she brought Snow to form a circle. She placed Snow's left hand in Emma's right. Already she could hear the beating of the heart of the land. The beating of three hearts, coming together in a common purpose. "But that magic is not complete, not without understanding and, in understanding, forgiving." She closed Snow's right hand in Regina's left and cupped them with her own. "It is with our hearts beating as one that we call on the heart of the land, that we invoke the magic locked in us, the magic that was never gone, just prisoner of our hate and our resentment."
Around then, a line of fairies closed ranks, holdings hands.
The room came alive with the beating of their hearts, together, in unison. "With our hearts beating together, we find the way between our world and one that will welcome us. With love and understanding, we remember that the true measure of goodness is to carry all within our hearts so that no one, no one at all is left behind. Because love is our salvation."
The sound reverberated through the walls that seemed to them to beat, alive.
Regina put all her faith in this beating heart. She thought she would die if the magic failed. And she would die willingly because she could not imagine letting Emma and Henry down. And still she could not utter the words I love you. If they succeeded, she would not bind Emma to her with those words. Enough with the chains for her and for everyone else.
Emma looked at her with hope. If she could just pull this off her ass, then she could, potentially, have Regina. Whatever part of herself the warrior decided she could. And she would be fine with that. And if not, she would, at least, free Regina who had never told her she loved her.
The air thrummed around them, in their skin, in their ears.
The thump, thumthump, thump, thumpthump of the beating hearts became the only sound in the world. It generated an energy of its own, a soft cloud of magic filling the spaces of the room, cutting the fairies and Rumpelstiltskin off from them, leaving the three of them alone in the swirling mist.
Slowly, the heartbeat slowed, the vibration of it in their bodies, on the wall, in the world around them subsided, faded. "It's not working" Emma stated.
Behind them, Rumpelstiltskin screeched in anger. Tinkerbelle became visible again. "You must believe." The fairy sadly pointed out. "You must."
Snow's hands lost their grip on the other two. Her eyes lost the brief moment of lucidity. Emma grabbed hold of the hand slipping from hers. "I never had a mother before. Do you want the job?" But the Snow there was neither the broken woman she had seen slumped on the throne nor the brief visions of what she must have been before the curse. It was something new, milder, softer at the edges.
"I hope that we can be better to each other in this new life." Regina looked from their joint hands to Snow. There was a brief moment when she saw the little girl she had saved from a spooked horse, so many lifetimes ago.
"I miss the girl that saved me." Snow smiled, something small and watery. "I miss the Regina that rode that horse like the wind. I wanted to be like that girl." Regina clutched Snow's hand a little more fiercely. The clouding in her eyes shifted again. Around them, the spell began to gain pace again. With every beat of their hearts, it became just a fraction stronger. Snow's eyes glazed over. "I want to start again. To forget about the things we have done."
Regina squeezed Snow's hand. No, she would not let go of her, she would not leave her behind. "True love is the most powerful magic of all. You must believe, Snow. Don't be afraid. You must believe again." Regina stared at Snow, saw the haze dissipating, felt their hands together. And then Emma's presence by her side, so strong, so vital. "I do, Snow. I do." Without letting go of Snow's hand, she leaned into Emma, closed the distance between them and placed a delicate kiss on her lips. "I do." The spell picked up pace, the heartbeat became overwhelmingly loud but Regina's words, they could be heard, loud and clear. "I love you, Emma."
And then it all went blinding white until it faded.