Fix A Heart. **(Recommended that you read the author's note before you read on)**
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys or Big Time Rush or anything else that you may find familiar.
A/N: Woooh! Hello! I am back! And as an apology for being gone so long, I come with a complete chapter of what I posted last. I hope you enjoy this! And I hope there's people still out there willing to read something from me. :)
Also, keep reading and don't hate me before you finish the chapter (you'll know what part I'm talking about when you get to it). I'll explain myself after you're finished reading. Although, if you really wanted, you could scroll down now and read it, but that would ruin the chapter. I only suggest that you do that if you feel concerned about what it might be.
Annyways, here ya go! :D
Chapter Twenty-One
The next morning, Logan woke up to warmth up against his back. He wasn't sure what it was, but he didn't preferably care at the moment because it was a long, difficult night and he missed Kendall. So, being a little selfish, Logan didn't turn around to see who or what it was behind him and kept his eyes closed and tried going back to sleep, pretending that the warmth behind him was Kendall.
His efforts were useless, however, because not even a minute later, he felt something touch the back of his neck. And not just anything touched his neck; it definitely felt like a nose or some other body part.
So, that answered that question.
But it raised another, whose nose was it? And why were they touching the back of his neck?
The only person that should be touching his neck was Kendall and Kendall's supposed to be in jail for what happened yesterday. So, it was obviously not him. But why would James or Carlos do something like this?
"Logan," Whispered the person behind him. And there was no denying who that voice belonged to, but that wasn't possible. "Wake up, it's past noon."
Logan's eyes opened wide at hearing that because there was no way that he slept that long. And even if he had, why had everyone let him sleep this late into the afternoon?
Logan twisted his neck around to look at Kendall and his brown eyes met green ones. It didn't take long for Logan to replay what happened yesterday in his head, causing tears to form in his eyes and spill over once Kendall noticed them. And when Kendall did notice them, he pulled Logan closer to his body and hugged him from behind. Even at the awkward angle, Logan buried his face in Kendall's neck.
"Logan, you should turn around." Kendall kept quiet, not wanting to be too loud. He didn't want to ruin the mood that was put on them. "I doubt laying that way feels too good on your neck."
Logan didn't say anything, just nodded before pulling away long enough to turn around. And once the whole front of his body was facing Kendall, he once again buried his face into Kendall's neck and wrapped his arms around Kendall waist. Kendall did the same, burying his nose in Logan's hair and putting a barely there kiss to the spot.
"I am so sorry, Logan. I shouldn't have even touched the guy. I should have been here with you instead."
"You're here now, that's good enough for me." Logan replied, pulling away from Kendall's neck enough to look into Kendall's eyes. "At first, I didn't understand why you would have acted that way. But I think I would have done the same thing. Or I would have tried to."
XxX
They laid there for another hour, just talking about anything and everything they could think of, before Logan decided to get up and take a shower. He had wanted to ask Kendall to join him in the bathroom, just sitting on the counter or something, to keep him close. But decided against it at the last second because he wasn't sure how Kendall would react to Logan asking something like that.
Instead, Logan walked into the bathroom across the hall from their room and turned the water on as hot as it could go. He still felt a little gross after what happened yesterday and he just wanted to get that feeling off.
He stood under the water for longer than he meant to, the water growing cold as he replayed what happened yesterday over and over in his head. He couldn't even feel happy about the fact that him and Kendall had admitted to loving each other because that asshole had to ruin it. Yesterday morning was so amazing and then that guy went and tried to force him into something that he wasn't even ready to do with Kendall.
He also remembers the guys face almost perfectly. Remembers the strength that the guy put behind his movements. Remembers that his mind wouldn't stop trying to processing what was going on but his thoughts were going way too fast to stop and think about things slowly.
He also remembers that for a split second yesterday he had wanted more with Kendall. He had wanted to take things further with him. But now with what happened yesterday, he doesn't know when he'll want to go that far again. If he'll ever be ready for that, that is.
He didn't even realize that he had started crying at some point until there was a knock on the bathroom door and the door knob started rattling like someone was trying to open the door.
"Logan? Logan, can you open the door?" Kendall's voice drifted through the door, so quiet because of the water that Logan hardly heard what he was saying. "Logan, please?"
Logan moved slowly, not wanting to slip and fall. He stepped over the edge of the shower, reaching over to grab the towel that was left on the counter and wrapping it around his hips. His took the couple steps towards the door faster than it took him to step out of the shower. He opened the door and instantly Kendall was pushing into the room and closing the door behind him.
They stood there for a couple seconds, staring at each other, before Kendall was taking the last couple steps towards Logan and wrapping his arms around Logan's neck.
"Do you still love me after what happened to me yesterday?" Logan didn't mean to say it out loud, only meaning to think it. But his mind was so confusing and running about a thousand words per minute that it was slipping through his lips before he could stop it. The sound of his voice made him flinch, afraid of Kendall's answer.
"What?" Kendall moved his hands to Logan's shoulders, pushing him far enough away to look Logan in the eyes. "Are you seriously asking me if what happened yesterday changes the way that I think of you?"
Logan nodded his head, clearly not being able to say a word when he wanted to but able to when he didn't.
"Logan, listen to me." Kendall leaned forward, placing a small, chaste kiss to Logan's lips before continuing. "There is nothing in this world that you could do or say, to change the fact that I love you. Well, maybe except actually wanting to do that with some other guy that's not me. But even then, I'd probably still love you. Okay?"
Logan nodded his head again, this time not trusting his voice to not crack while talking.
"Good. Now, let's get you dressed and then go into our room and watch a movie."
They walked out of the bathroom hand in hand, quickly making their way into their room that way no one noticed that Logan only had a towel wrapped around him.
"Alright, I'm gonna give you time to get dressed. When you're done, come out and pick a movie." Kendall went to leave the room when there was a hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him from leaving. When he turned around, he noticed that Logan's cheeks were turning red and he wouldn't look him in the eyes directly. Instead, looking down towards his chest.
"Um, can you stay in here with me?"
Kendall was surprised by the question, not having expected Logan to ask for something so direct. Not that Kendall was about to say 'no' to Logan, because he'd do anything for Logan at the moment. Hell, he'd probably do anything for Logan even if he wasn't going through something so devastating.
"Sorry," Logan mumbled. "I know it's kind of stupid. It's just that when I was alone in the shower, my mind wouldn't stop thinking about yesterday. And I don't want that happening now. And I figured that if you were in the room with me, I could focus more on you and I won't have to go through that again."
"Logan, you don't have to explain yourself to me." Kendall said, reaching out and taking a hold of Logan's hand in one of his. While his other hand reached up and encouraged Logan to look up at him. When Logan's eyes finally looked at Kendall's face, there was a fond smile playing at Kendall's lips. "And of course, I'll stay in here with you. As long as you're sure, I don't want you doing anything that you're not one hundred percent sure about."
"I am."
"Okay, then. I'll sit on the bed and let you get dressed then."
Kendall turned away from Logan and sat down on the bed, keeping his eyes trained down towards his hands in his lap. He didn't want to make Logan uncomfortable. He didn't want to do anything that will force Logan to hate him forever.
"Kendall," It wasn't even louder than a whisper, and yet Kendall could hear it. But it was a lot closer than he expected Logan to be and a second later, he could see his feet right there. Right between his legs.
This time, it was Logan encouraging Kendall to look at him. And when Kendall did, he noticed that Logan didn't have his towel wrapped around him. Logan's cheeks were redder than before and his lip was currently caught between Logan's teeth. Logan seemed to be arguing with himself about something. And Kendall had an idea about where Logan's mind was and what he was thinking about. Before he could stop Logan from doing anything, however, Logan was leaning forward and pushing their lips together and closing the distance between their bodies.
Kendall was shocked for a few seconds at Logan initiating the kiss, but quickly recovered and pushed Logan away from him so that there was about two feet between them.
"Logan," Kendall sighed, rubbing his hand over his face before looking at Logan. He was shocked to find that there were tears in Logan's eyes. Kendall quickly jumped up off the bed and wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders. Not letting go, even when Logan started trying to push him away. "Hey, hey."
"Kendall, please!" Kendall wasn't sure if Logan wanted to say more because after that Logan let out a huge sob that was muffled by Kendall's neck.
"Logan, I'm not letting go of you until I'm sure that you're not going anywhere." Kendall started backing up, pulling Logan with him. When the back of his knees hit the bed, he sat down on the floor and used the bed to lean against. Logan had no other choice but to follow him to the floor with the fact that Kendall still hadn't let him go. So, he decided he might as well get comfortable and not fight Kendall. However, the tears refused to stop.
It took a couple minutes, but eventually the tears stopped and Logan's breathing started evening out. Deciding that the talk that they were about to have would be exhausting; Kendall took Logan's lead and closed his eyes.
XxX
Logan wasn't sure how long it was before he woke again, but he quickly realized that Kendall and him were in the same position that they were in when he fell asleep. And from the looks of it, when he pulled away from Kendall's neck, Kendall had fallen asleep at some point as well.
Logan's movements must have woken Kendall up because the loose hold Kendall had on Logan quickly changed, effectively keeping Logan in the spot that he was in. Logan sighed, realizing that he wasn't going anywhere until Kendall was satisfied with mortifying him even more than he already was.
"Logan, I honestly don't know what is going on in that mind of yours, but I need you to know that I was telling the truth; I love you. Okay? And that means I'm not going to force you into doing something that you are clearly not ready for. I understand if you don't believe that after what happened to you yesterday, but I'm not going to stop telling you that until you finally believe me. I won't do anything until I knew for a fact that you are one hundred percent sure that you're over what happened. And from the reactions that you've had all day, I'd say that you weren't over it.
"That's why I pushed you away, okay? No other reason than that. I love you, but I won't enjoy it if you don't actually want it."
For a second, Kendall thought that he had made things worse. But finally, Logan was bringing his arms up and hugging Kendall back. Tears were back, but Kendall knew that it was a good sign this time and not something to be worried about.
"I love you, Logan."
"I love you, too, Kendall." Logan was much quieter than Kendall's, but that was okay. Kendall was thinking that maybe Logan finally understood what Kendall had been trying to tell him all day; Kendall loved Logan, and he wasn't about to push Logan into anything he didn't want. That meant they were getting through this together and Kendall wasn't giving Logan any other choice.
A/N: Okay. I promised that I'd explain. And here it is: I wanted Logan to feel insecure about their relationship after what happened to him. I wanted him to think that Kendall will only be with him if he was willing to put out. And I feel like I needed Kendall to make it perfectly clear to Logan that that's not what he wants out of their relationship. I'm sorry if any of you were concerned about the way it seemed to have been headed. I would never do that.
XOXO