Axel stared at the pack of cigarettes on the kitchen counter of his brother's apartment.

"Com'on baby brother," Marluxia chimed from the couch, "You've been sitting there for at least two hours, why don't you go outside? Get some fresh air?"

Marluxia was right, it would do him better to go out for a walk instead of staying cooped up in the apartment all day. He swiped the pack from the counter, shoving it in his back pocket with a lighter he always carried, "I'm gonna go for a walk then, do you work tonight?"

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to visit Kairi tonight, would you mind swinging by for me?"

Axel's jaw tensed slightly, "Yeah, sure thing."

Marluxia sensed the tension in his brother's voice, "Com'on, are you still beating yourself up about what happened?" He stood from the couch and walked over to face Axel, who did his best to avert his eyes to something else.

"It's not that." His voice did not waiver.

Marluxia brought his voice down to a whisper, "Then what is it?"

Axel fidgited where he stood, he'd always been uncomfortable talking about how he felt, even to his brother, "It's just… seeing her."

"Seeing her, what about seeing her?"

Axel sighed, "It's not as much guilt as it is…" he let out another quiet breath and shook his head, "I'll visit her for ya, don't worry about it."

Axel pushed past his brother and left the apartment building, shoving his hands deep in his pockets and keeping his head low.

Marluxia didn't bother to call after him, he knew better. Even though they'd always been close, Axel was still adamant about sharing his feelings with his brother. He knew better than to push Axel to talk about what he was feeling, but he couldn't help but continue to worry.

Axel had been quite distant since Kairi's accident and Roxas' death, he wasn't even really connecting with Zexion as of late.

As Axel made his way to the bottom of the steps of the apartment complex. He took in a breath of fresh air and closed his eyes. He could smell the salt from the Ocean that wasn't too far from the building. He decided to take a walk to the beach for a little R&R. After all, it was only 2 in the afternoon, he had plenty of time before hospital visiting hours were over.

He considered not going to the hospital at all, but it was a favor to Marluxia. As he walked down the street toward the beach, he listened to all the hussle and bussle happening around him. Cars making their way to work, mothers with their children; an ice cream truck passed by. It bothered Axel a bit to say the least. He fiddled with the lighter in his back pocket.

Everyone seems to be carrying on like nothing happened…

Zexion's father's death had been all over the news, the accident too; it was a lot for him.

He was feeling trapped, not just in the whole situation, but in his own mind. He didn't feel like he could open up to Zexion, who had enough problems of his own, and he certainly didn't want to worry his brother.

Axel shook his head, trying to rid himself of the terrible thoughts. He had to be strong; for Zexion, for Marluxia.

For Kairi...

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts…

As he reached the beach, Axel took another breath of the fresh ocean breeze. He could feel his head clear, and for just a second he didn't feel so trapped. He took off his flip flops and carried them in his left hand, stepping onto the soft sand. It was warm from baking under the sun. The warmth traveled up the rest of his body as he continued to walk along the shore. It brought back memories of his early childhood.

Thinking about is made him smile, but it felt almost bittersweet. He knew he would probably never experience those feelings ever again. Axel had always considered leaving the islands, and now that Marluxia had his life put together for the most part it seemed like a plausible idea. School wasn't tying him down anymore, and as long as Kairi pulled through her coma, Zexion would always have someone.

He hadn't given too much thought as to where he would go just yet, he knew he wanted to see more than just beaches though.

A seagull called in the distance, beckoning others to join him in flight. Axel watched as a small group took off together in search of their next meal. Off in the distance he noticed a figure sitting on one of the docks. He squinted hard, and upon further inspection he realized it was Zexion.

Instead of calling out to him, he just continued to walk forward. The closer he got, the more he could tell Zexion must be thinking.

The sound of Axel's feet on the dock got Zexion's attention. The silver haired boy turned around to face his friend, "Axel, hey."

A small smile crossed Axel's face, "Hey man, what are you doing all the way out here?"

"I just got back from visiting Kairi, figured I'd make a small stop, clear my head, ya know?" he turned back to face the ocean. A gust of wind blew his bangs away from his face.

Axel took a seat next to Zexion, "Yeah, I get it man. It's cool.."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Just taking a trip down memory lane, that's all. You remember coming out here with Roxas when we were in middle school?"

The mention of Roxas' name made Zexion squirm a little, but Axel didn't pay no mind, "Yeah… it seems like a lifetime ago."

Zexion watched his feet dangle over the edge of the dock, the waves jumping up and kissing the bottom of his feet. There was a silence between the two before Axel reached into his back pocket to pull out the lighter and a cigarette.

Zexion glanced at him, "I thought you quit that shit man!" he scowled, wanting to swat the cigarette from Axel's hand.

"And I thought you weren't gonna try to kill yourself again, but take a look at where we're at."

Zexion's shoulders tensed, and right then Axel wished he could take back what he just said, "Zex, I'm sorry I…" Axel paused and sighed, setting the cigarette on the dock, "I didn't mean it… I'm just…"

"Just what?" Axel could sense a sort of defensive tone in Zexion's voice.

"I'm sorry, there's just a lot on my mind right now."

"A lot on your mind? There's a lot on all of our minds right now, Axe."

"Yeah, and we're all handling it differently, aren't we?"

"No! Axe, you've barely said anything to me for the past few weeks! You've been keeping everything bottled up and I have no idea what you're feeling!"

There was silence before Zexion spoke again, "I thought we were friends."

"We are!" Axel snapped, "But you have your own demons… I don't want to bother you with mine."

"What? Axel, you aren't bothering me," Zexion wrapped his arms around Axel, "You know you can tell me anything, anything at all. I'm here for you no matter what."

Axel released the tension in his shoulders slightly, grabbing one of Zexion's arms gently and holding his emotions together, "I just…" he took a deep breath, "Ever since the accident, I've felt… I don't know, alone? I know it sound fucking ridiculous, but I… Roxas is gone man, he's fucking gone. And Kairi…"

Zexion loosened his hold on Axel, "What about Kairi?"

"She just… she's the first person I've trusted in a long time…"

"And?"

"And I'm scared," he blurted out, tensing up again, "I'm scared we'll lose her too."

"Hey, don't say that! She's getting better every day."

"Is she though?" Axel's voice shook, his lip quivering slightly.

Zexion fell silent, pulling away from Axel. He was really scared… and that's when it finally hit Zexion. Axel had lost so much in his short lifetime. The thought of losing another person he cared about must have terrified him to his very core. Just for a moment though, Zexion felt like he wasn't alone; he was feeling the same anxiety and guilt as Axel.

He wrapped his arms back around his friends torso, "You aren't alone, Axel…"

Axel blushed slightly. He wasn't used to these kind of bromantic talks, however, it made him feel more at ease now that he'd finally opened up about his feelings.

Running his hands through his hair and shaking Zexion off of him gently, he gave a smile, "She'll be okay…"

Zexion smiled back, "Did you want to go visit her together?"

"Nah, I think I can handle it by myself. I mean, unless you wanted to come with me?"

Zexion shook his head, "I'm alright… seeing her today was enough for me?"

Axel wore a puzzled expression, "Enough?"

Zexion scooted away slightly to give Axel some room, he turned his head to stare out at the ocean, "Just… Seeing her hooked up to all that machinery every day. It's not something I want to see, ya know?"

Axel was silent.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to see her all day, every day!" Zexion blushed slightly, "But… it's a lot, and no matter how hard I try to keep a positive attitude and good thoughts, the bad ones always come creeping back. She's strong… I know this. But one can only fight for so long."

Axel stayed silent, turning his head to face the same direction Zexion was facing. He wasn't sure if he was talking about Kairi's fight, or his own. Without really thinking, he swept the stray cigarette off the dock and into the waves. The crayfish made a dive for the foreign object. Zexion turned his head back to Axel, "Hey, what gives?"

Axel continued to stare forward, pulling one foot onto the dock and resting his chin on his knee, "I think it's time I start fighting too."

A seagull swipes a large fish from the ocean.

I'm getting really tired.

You and me both, kid.

You aren't even real, how can you be the tired one?

I've been listening to you bitch for about 2 months about how you want to get back out there. Why don't you just fucking do it already?

I don't know.

Wrong answer.

I've been trying.

Bullshit, you haven't even moved a finger.

I am trying…

And for what, what's out there for you?

My family. My friends.

What friends?

Zexion, Axel, Marluxia, they're all waiting for me to wake up.

Nice joke.

It's not a joke, they all want me to be okay, I can hear them talking to me.

How do you know it's really them?

I… I don't, I guess. I just gotta have some faith.

Whatever.

It was nearly 6pm by the time Axel had made it to the hospital. He signed the paperwork and shuffled all the way to the room where Kairi was resting. He wasn't really looking forward, when he accidently bumped into another body, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" His eyes shot up to a girl with short black hair standing about 2 feet from Kairi's door. She was small and fragile looking

"No, no! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been standing in the way! I mean, something could go wrong at any moment and doctors might need to go in to help, I shouldn't have been standing here."

Axel looked the girl up and down a couple times; she had big blue eyes and ivory skin. She wasn't from around here, he didn't recognize her. "Are you a friend of Kairi's?"

"Uhm, n-no I just…"

Axel raised an eyebrow, now curious, "Just?"

The girl's face turned a bright pink, she shook her head quickly and looked at the floor, "I gotta go!"

Axel was about to say something, but she took off sprinting down the hall toward the exit.

Weird… what was she doing outside Kairi's room if she didn't know her?

A/N: I know I've been on a little hiatus (like, a 3 year one) but I'm still writing, don't worry! It's a little escape from all the bullshit happening right now, I hope you enjoyed the newest addition to this seemingly endless fic. I have no clue how/when I'm going to wrap things up, but until then, enjoy what I have to offer you still!