Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The original characters and canon belong to J.K. Rowling. Arabella Rose Riddle and the details surrounding her life do belong to me.
XXI. Summertime
When the door closed behind him, I heaved a sigh and turned towards the closet. I reached up to my ears to pull the earrings off. I carefully opened the jewelry box and dropped them in. I pulled my dress off and slipped into my pajamas. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I sat down in front of the fireplace with my book. All of these movements seemed less laborious than usual, and I took great care in each action. I replaced all of my belongings to their rightful places and each step I took felt carefully placed. I felt like a dancer being watched by an invisible audience.
"Come in," I called lightly when there was a knock on the door. Draco strode in and sat on the couch in front of the fire. He was dressed in casual wear, the most casual wear I'd ever seen him in. His black sweatpants could probably have passed for regular pants. He wore a simple black t-shirt. He sat in silence, staring into the fire. I finished the chapter I was reading and looked up at him. He hadn't moved a muscle since he'd sat down.
"The Dark Lord was just outside the door when I left," he said without moving.
I nodded in understanding. So he had been eavesdropping as Draco had indicated.
"But he seemed contented by what he heard."
I looked at Draco. His blond hair was swept to one side, out of his face. He looked so different from the boy with the slicked-back hair I'd met first year. I could barely see his eyes from the angle he was sitting, but the reflection of the fire seemed to turn them to a molten liquid. After another moment of silence, I returned to my book.
"We should go to bed," Draco interrupted a few minutes later. I kept reading, wanting to finish the current chapter before bed. Draco stood and approached me. I ignored him, but he took the book from my hands and tossed it unceremoniously on the coffee table in front of the couch. He extended his hand to me. I took it without a sound and he lifted me quite easily from my seat. Rather than release my hand, he pulled me closer, placing one hand on my waist. Quite naturally, we assumed the waltz position. He led me in a slow dance, turning gently and swaying to the music of the thunderstorm raging outside.
"No snide comment about how I took your book?" he asked skeptically after a few moments.
I shrugged, "I guess it's not in me tonight."
"Something wrong?" he asked, his eyebrows raising barely a centimeter.
I furrowed my brow, actually thinking of an answer. Was there something wrong? Or was I strangely content and therefore just quiet?
"No," came my simple answer. I decided that coming up with a more elaborate explanation would be too difficult.
Draco looked at me intensely, obviously trying to tell if I was lying. I dropped my usual mental wall, so he could feel it was the truth. He stopped moving suddenly when the mental blocks disappeared, and a surprised look spread across his face—like he'd just won an award he thought would go to someone else.
"Good," he whispered, placing a slow kiss upon my cheek.
He took his hand from my waist, but did not release my hand. He led me to my bed. I eyed him carefully, slightly wary of his actions. He pulled back the covers so I could climb into the cool crisp sheets. I shivered slightly as lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the manor grounds momentarily. Draco tucked me in gently, noxing the light beside my bed.
"Good night, love," he whispered, planting another kiss upon my forehead.
"Good night, Draco," I replied. He smiled into my eyes before turning to leave. He extinguished the lamps before heading out the door.
I watched him leave, and stared at the door for several minutes after he left. I had been one hell of a night. I hadn't decided yet whether or not I'd made the right decision regarding Draco and our relationship. I was definitely feeling less like I was trapped, but I was also worried that Draco would take this as an invitation for our "relationship" to get too serious too fast. My thoughts were interrupted by a boom of thunder that made me jump. I decided I would have a talk with Draco tomorrow about boundaries, perhaps that would help. I turned on my side, pointing my back to the storm so I wouldn't be distracted and kept awake watching the beauty of it storming outside. Before I knew it I was fast asleep...
The summer continued on in a similar fashion. Or rather, the summer schedule did. I would have my lessons with Narcissa, Snape, Lucius and Father, brunch every few Sundays, and balls nearly every other weekend. As I learned more and more about Pureblood society, the lessons with Narcissa changed into "let's-introduce-Arabella-to-as-many-pureblood-families-as-possible" time. I soon had more "new-best-friends" than I could count, all wanting to sip tea, go shopping and gossip about my other "new-best-friends." Draco enjoyed hearing me complain about how horrid all of the girls were that he had grown up knowing as a pureblood young man. In what became our nightly ritual, he would sit in one of the chairs in my room while I sipped tea and failed to read my book, a smirk on his face.
"I don't know how they are so good at faking that they like each other at all the balls, when all they do is complain about one other behind each other's back!" I said.
"You are complaining about them right now," Draco pointed out, "but you are perfectly polite to them at balls."
"I know it's not much better, but I only complain to you," I specified. "Just like you complain to me. But neither of us turn to any one who will listen to talk bad about someone we pretend to be best friends with every other day of the week. I'm polite, but not friendly. I don't consider gossiping a friendly thing to do."
"You are a unique young lady," he said. "I don't think I've ever met a girl who doesn't like to gossip."
"Girls like to talk. Talking and gossip are two totally different things."
"Oh?"
"Yes," I insisted, slightly irritated.
"How so?"
"Look it up in a dictionary!" I huffed.
He chuckled in his usual arrogant manner, so I threw a book at him, which he blocked easily and set down on the table with a flick of his wand.
Lessons with Snape changed slightly as well. Once he had determined my Occlumency was up to par, he would ensure the room was sealed and silence before spending some time working with me on Defense Against the Dark Arts. I never knew when a lesson was DADA and when one was Occlumency review, but it kept me sufficiently on my toes. I was ever thankful for the DADA lessons, since the more and more Dark Magic my father was lecturing me on and having me practice was hard to fight.
"You're exhausted," he pointed out to me one day during Occlumency review.
"Yeah, well, the whole Imperius Curse review didn't go so hot yesterday," I responded.
"Don't stop fighting," Snape said quite forcefully.
I looked up at him.
"Don't stop fighting the lure of the Dark Magic. As soon as you give in, it's so much harder to go back," he explained.
"I know," I responded, "It's just...not easy."
"It's probably the most difficult magical test you will ever be put through," he said bluntly.
"I dunno, my Ancient Ruins N.E.W.T. was pretty difficult," I teased.
"I'm serious," he said roughly. "As soon as you give in, all will be lost. The Order needs you, Bella."
"They do not," I laughed. "I'm not doing anything!"
"You are doing a lot. Right now, that's fighting the Dark Lord through resistance against his Dark Magic, the Dark Magic he became so obsessed with and is now consumed by. Just by resisting it, you are proving you are stronger than the Dark Lord, someone every thought unbeatable—"
"But Harry is the Boy Who Lived, the Chose One," I argued.
"—but you are beating the Dark Lord at his own game, Bella. He thinks he has you, that you're playing by his rules and that you'll become so entranced by the Dark Magic you'll follow in his footsteps. But as long as you stay strong, continue resisting when he assumes you are on his side, you'll be able to help the Order with inside information that even I can't get as a member of the Inner Circle."
"That's assuming he'll ever assume that I'm on his side, which isn't likely," I reminded. "He doesn't trust anyone."
"He trusted your mother."
Unfortunately it was time for my next lesson and the conversation was brought to an abrupt end. Snape refused to let me begin again where it had left off by the time of my next lesson, but he continued to push my magical abilities from a defense stand point. I found myself getting better and better at the magic he was teaching, such that the Dark Magic got easier and easier to perform without feeling like I was grasping to not lose myself in the process of appeasing my father.
I don't know how much my father had ever trusted my mother, or even if what Snape had said about them was true, but I did find my father had begun to lessen the restrictions on me. I was now allowed to carry my own wand around during the days at Malfoy Manor. Draco kept it for me during the night and during balls, but it was a major improvement over earlier in the summer, when I could only use my wand during lessons. I was allowed to move about the main level and the second level of the Manor on my own, and venture into the gardens for a walk without a Death Eater accompanying me at all times. The changes took place very slowly over the course of the rest of the summer, but every little thing made the Manor feel a little less like a prison and more like a home worth living in.
"Arabella," my father stopped me from exiting the ballroom after my lesson one day.
"Yes, Father?" I turned to face him again.
"You are doing very well," he said. "I'm proud of you."
My face and neck grew hot with embarrassment and shame. "Thank you, Father."
"And I'm happy to see you and Draco getting along well," he continued.
"Yes," was the only thing I could come up with.
"I see more and more of your mother in you every day," he said.
"Thank you," I said and then, with a nod of dismissal from him, turned and walked out the door.
It was true that Draco and I had been getting along better since the Black and White Ball. "Better" being the key word in that sentence. We still argued and fought and yelled at each other, but we'd also grown closer. Our agreement to work together helped to prevent many of the fights we would have had otherwise. Unfortunately it created new arguments as well.
"You have to kiss me," Draco whispered to me as we descended the stairs of a famous Pureblood dance hall in London.
"Um, right now?"
"No, of course not," he scoffed, "but at some point tonight."
"Um, why?" I asked, a fake smile still plastered on my face as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Because we need to continue to convey the success of our relationship," he commented.
"And holding hands and smiling and dancing isn't enough?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because couples kiss when they are in love."
"We kiss," I stated.
"You let me kiss you on the cheek."
"Exactly," I said cheerily, "we're fine."
"No. We need to kiss. For real," he said.
"As if kisses on the cheek aren't real!" I pretended to be insulted.
"You are purposefully being difficult!" he said exasperated.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," I teased.
"Arabella..."
"Fine, fine," I sighed. "I just don't get why it's such a big deal. I mean, you've forced kisses upon me in public before. And public displays of affection are annoying anyway."
"People are starting to question the validity of our relationship," he warned.
"Perhaps because it's not valid?" I suggested sarcastically.
"We don't want them to know that, do we?"
"No," I resigned. "I'm so sick of pretending."
"I know, Ari, but it's better than the alternative."
"I dunno, death would be easy..."
He glared at me.
"Kidding! Geez you are so uptight tonight," I said quickly. A frown etched his face and I patted his hand in an attempt to comfort him. "Besides, where have you been hearing that the validity of this relationship is in question?"
But before Draco could answer, someone else answered for him. A young brunette with a face like a pug walked by in a dress that was fitted just a little too tight with a neck line just a little too low.
"If you need some real action, Drakie, you know where to find me," came the sickly sweet drawl of Pansy Parkinson.
"I don't need or want...your services," Draco replied with disdain.
"Oh? And you think Miss Prude will give you what you want?"
"What I want and what you think I want are two completely different things, Miss Parkinson," he replied formally, "And what would your parents think if you heard them talk about their master's daughter in such a way?"
Pansy's mouth opened and closed a few times, without a sound.
"I've got all I could ever want or need, right here on my arm," Draco said, looking to me and putting his left hand over mine which I had looped through his right arm. I smiled up at him, blushing slightly. The corniness of it all made me want to gag a little, but I nonetheless appreciated him defending my honor. "Shall we dance?" he asked, ignoring the look of disgust on Pansy's face.
"I'd love to," I responded.
He led me out onto the dance floor, where we found an open spot to start dancing.
"Thank you for standing up for me, Draco," I said.
"It was nothing," he waved the comment away.
"No, really," I insisted.
"She was out of line."
"Perhaps now, but back in school you would have been on her side."
"I think I know you better now than when we were back in school," he commented.
"Probably."
"Definitely."
I looked down at my feet to avoid the intensity of his gaze.
"Arabella?" he drew my attention back.
"Yes?"
"Do you remember that day when Pansy and Blaise came by the Manor to visit?"
"Vividly," I responded with a smile.
"Did you ever wonder what Pansy wanted from me?"
"Yes, at one time or other I did, though I had an idea."
"Oh?" he looked slightly surprised to hear this, almost pleased at the same time, though. "And what was your suspicion?"
"I figured she wanted you back. Didn't you have a rather lengthy relationship while you two were at Hogwarts?"
"We did."
"And it was a fairly ugly break up?" I asked to confirm.
"It was."
"And she ended it, or at least spread the rumor she did."
"She did."
"She did what? End it? Or spread the rumor?"
"The rumor," Draco clarified.
"So you ended it then," I stated.
"I did."
"Why?" I asked. "Because you found out I was the Dark Lord's daughter and you were forcibly going to be married to me?"
"No," he said.
He twirled me around the dance floor, but he continued to look only at me, which made me a little uncomfortable.
"Care to elaborate?"
"It was an unhealthy relationship. She gave me the praise my father never did, the praise I thought I needed to be a worthwhile person. But she didn't love me, she just loved the fact that I was from a well-known Pureblood family with money. But I won't pretend you had nothing to do with it. I'd fallen in love with you before I found out who you were, remember? That night at the Yule Ball when you cut your foot. I broke the glass and used my wand to move it so you would step on it. I foolishly, like any 14-year-old boy, thought that you would fall for me the instant you were in my arms, like every other girl I'd met. But, anyway, finding out about your past meant knowing that my family would not only accept you as the girl I loved, but expect a marriage between us as we were already betrothed. That helped with the decision to break it off with Pansy and catalyzed the action of actually breaking it off..."
"Not to mention you had no choice."
"That was only icing on the cake," he cracked a smile. "She couldn't argue with me since I'd be killed by the Dark Lord if I didn't do what I was told."
We danced in silence for a while longer. I didn't want to break the silence and ruin the moment, fearing he wouldn't continue talking.
"Pansy came to me that day to ask me to take her back. She wanted me to try and get out of the betrothal. She believed that she was lonely and lost without me and that I was the only one for her."
"And?"
"I told her I was in love with you," he stated. "She went berserk, saying you weren't even a pureblood, you weren't worthy, you weren't ever going to love me. I let her scream at me about all your faults and her virtues, reminded every time she opened her mouth about how much happier I was spending time with you, even if you didn't return my feelings and perhaps never would. It was still such a blessing to know that I wouldn't have to resort to marrying her, but instead would have the privilege of marrying you: a beautiful, sweet, humble, intelligent and honest young woman whose moral values always take precedence over her personal opinion."
I was suddenly unable to look at him. His praise was much too high, much more than I deserved based on the way I had treated him on some occasions.
"I'm sorry I'm not better, Draco," was all I could say when I looked back into his cool gray eyes.
"Bella, that's just it," he whispered. "You're perfect."
The song came to an end, and we came to stand at rest near the entrance to the garden on the far side of the room. I don't know whether it was the comment Pansy had made, the heat and perfume of the room, or just the sweet things Draco had said—perhaps it was a combination of all three—but I suddenly had the urge to kiss him, to fulfill his one request of the evening. When he nearly broke away from our dance position, I held his hand fast, so he returned to face me, a questioning look on his face. I leaned in to press my lips lightly against his and he returned a soft, gentle kiss, altogether different in character to the previous kisses he'd forced upon my lips. His lips were warm and soft and carried such a feeling of love and caring that I was hardly able doubt his previous words. When the kiss was broken, he leaned his forehead against mine.
"I love you," he whispered. "Thank you."
We continued to squabble through the rest of the summer over how much P.D.A. was actually necessary, but that definitely wasn't the worst of our fights. Fall began to appear in mid-September, when the trees changed all the brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow I so lovingly associated with the season. I awoke one morning to a golden sky, a clear day and and empty room. I glanced at the clock. It was eight seventeen. Usually Draco woke me about 7:45 for breakfast, and we'd eat together before my lessons.
"Trinky?" I called.
There was a pop as she appeared, carrying a breakfast tray.
"Good morning, Mistress Arabella," she squeaked.
"Trinky, do you know where Draco is?"
"Master Malfoy is out on business today," she responded, climbing a short stool to set my breakfast tray on my lap.
"Really?" I asked, Trinky pressed a spoon into my hand. "He didn't mention it to me."
I looked at the elf, but she quickly looked away, almost guiltily.
"Trinky, you know something don't you...?" I asked softly.
"Yes, mistress, but Trinky was ordered not to say!" the little elf shrieked, afraid of disobeying one of her masters.
"Okay, okay, Trinky, calm down!" I patted her arm gently. "I won't ask you."
It took a few more moments for her to stop hyperventilating, but she seemed to calm as I took a spoonful of oatmeal.
"Trinky, do I have lessons today?" I asked.
She didn't answer, instead just pointing a finger at a piece of paper on my tray.
In an all-too familiar calligraphy, my name was written on the outside. I picked up the piece of paper, unfolding it to read the note inside.
"Just call for Trinky when you are done, Mistress," the elf said, making a polite exit. I nodded, turning back to the note.
Arabella,
Your lessons have been cancelled for the day. You have permission to visit the library and the Blue Room. Do not go for a walk, do not leave the house, do not enter the breakfast room or parlor. If you need anything, ask the house elves. Travers and Mulciber are here. You'll be safe.
Your father.
And below was a dark mark, which floated lazily on the page below.
"You'll be safe? You'll be safe!" I said aloud, a little irritated. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
I crumpled up the note and threw it towards the trash can. It didn't quite make it, but I scoffed in a irritation at the message not at my terrible aim. I picked my spoon back up, taking another bite of oatmeal. An entire day, confined to the house—wait, not even the house, just my room, the library and the Blue Room—alone.
"What is going on?"
I was only allowed on the second level. The library was down the hall from my room, the Blue Room was the upstairs parlor. All three rooms looked out onto the Malfoy gardens. Travers and Mulciber weren't Father's favorites, but they had both stayed loyal to him during those fourteen long years in prison. Something was definitely going on. Something big.
"Argh!" I growled, moving the breakfast tray to lay beside me. I climbed from my bed and pulled my dressing robe on. I walked gently, in my bare feet to the door. After peeking out into the hall, which was empty, I headed to the library. It was empty. The curtains were drawn, the lamps lit lowly. I turned quickly and walked to the Blue Room. I checked the hall behind me as I walked, slightly unnerved by how quiet the house was. It was always quiet in this house, relatively speaking. I mean, having grown up in an orphanage, I was used to never having a moment of peace. And Hogwarts wasn't much different. The summer had been a time of acclimation for me at the Malfoy Manor. I slowly but surely became used to the fact that the house was eerily big, empty and silent. Today it seemed even more silent, and every creak of a floorboard or rustle of wind against a window sent me jumping. When I got to the Blue Room, I opened the door slowly, the creaking of the hinge seemed to echo against the empty hallway. It appeared just as the library did: empty, the curtains drawn, the lamps lit lowly.
"So if Travers and Mulciber 'are here', where are they?" I said aloud to myself, turning back down the hall to get to my room. Probably lurking about like a couple of creepers, I thought to myself. The padding of my feet on the hard-wood floor was the only sound in the house as I made my way back down the hallway. When I reached my room, I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. I looked down the hall in the direction in which I had come, and then down the hall towards the stairs. No one was around as far as I could tell. I took my hand from the knob and took a step past my room towards the stairs. I was waiting for something to happen: a trap to fall, a spell to hit me, a horn to sound. Nothing. I took two more steps. Nothing. I was starting to feel a little foolish. I walked all the way to the stairwell before stopping again.
"Who's here to stop me?" I asked aloud. I half expected Travers or Mulciber to reveal himself. I looked over the banister down into the entry hall, but no one was there. I moved to go downstairs. I really wanted to go sit in the window seat in the Lavender Parlor downstairs. But as I lifted my foot to step down the first step, I stopped. I thought back to all of the privileges I'd been granted towards the end of the summer, how long it had taken to earn the trust just to be allowed to carry my wand or to walk around the manor on my own. My father had basically forbid me go downstairs for the day, did I really want to lose my new-found freedom by goofing off? If he found out, would it be worth it?
"Ahhh!" I yelled, exasperated. I hated feeling like I was trapped. I hated even more that I was acting to please the Dark Lord. It made me feel even more like a traitor than I had that day Lord Voldemort had said he was proud of me. What kind of best friend to Harry Potter was I? Harry Potter's best friend would walk down those stairs and out the front door if she could! I grappled with the options. I knew I wouldn't make it out that door. Father had left two Death Eaters here for a reason. Not just for my safety, but to report back on my behavior and ensure I didn't run off. I needed to keep Father's trust, for my sanity, for the possibility of helping the Order, for the chance to end the war and get out of here alive. I turned and went straight to my room, slamming the door behind me as I entered. I grabbed the tray from the bed, carried it to the couch in front of the fireplace, and plopped down with my book. I spent the rest of the morning with my book in one hand, a spoon in the other, and the bowl of oatmeal in my lap.
I spent the afternoon in the library reading and writing. I took a nap on the couch there, and resumed reading after tea. Near dinner time, I heard footsteps treading down the hallway and looked up to see Draco enter.
"Hello," he greeted me. It was almost awkward to see him standing there after spending a day in solitude. I felt like he was imposing his presence upon me.
"Hi," was my only response. I turned back to my book, feeling a little irritated.
"Are you wanting dinner?"
"Not yet."
"Would you like a walk in the garden?"
"Not right now."
Silence.
Draco came and sat on the couch next to me. I had my feet out in front of me on the couch cushion as I leaned against the armrest so he couldn't sit too close.
"How long have you been home?" I asked Draco.
"An hour or so."
I nodded.
"Where were you?"
"London."
"How...specific," I remarked.
"Bella, you know I can't give you the details," he said. Ah, confirmation that all of the Death Eaters were off on some campaign against the Order for the day.
"Why not? You don't trust me? It's not like I can go blabbing off to my fellow Gryffindors or anything."
"True," he said. "But still."
"Still what?"
"I can't tell you."
I gave him a dark look.
"You aren't a Death Eater," he supplied.
"Thank Merlin for that," I whispered under my breath, returning to my book.
The silence stretched for a few moments. I pretended to read my book, but couldn't concentrate. Draco was still looking at me. I decided to ask the usual set of questions I resorted to when I knew there had been a battle.
"How angry is Father?" I asked, still looking at the same page I'd been starting at for the past two minutes.
"Fairly."
"How many did he lose?"
"Several."
I looked at him pointedly.
"Five."
"And them?"
"I didn't stop to count," he said darkly.
"Don't be cross," I said lightly.
"Why not?" he asked. "You shouldn't be asking how the other side is doing!"
"Don't be thick. Everyone wants to know who won and usually you do that by asking how many each side lost! It should count for something I asked about your side first!"
"I know you're only asking because you want to make sure none of your little friends got hurt!" His voice began to rise in volume.
"So what if I am!" I matched the pitch of his voice.
"What do you care about them?" he stood from his seat, gesturing out the window like they were outside now.
"I love them! They are my friends!" I stood as well.
"Who have left you here all summer?" he asked. "Who have left you to live with the enemy!"
"They know I'm safe here! They shouldn't preoccupy themselves with my safety when they have more important things on their minds!"
"Like what?" he took a step towards me. My mind jumped to Horcruxes, but I immediately cleared my mind of everything, for fear of Draco's skill at Legilimency.
"None of your business!"
"Like what, Arabella?" he asked, his voice dark and tense, we were nearly nose to nose.
"I can't tell you!" I said.
"Why not? Don't trust me?"
"No! And you aren't a member of the Order!" I mirrored his reasons for not telling me.
"Oh, and like you are," his sarcasm wounded me this time and I fell silent.
"Draco, I have to know if they get hurt," I whispered.
"Why?" his voice was dark and loud still.
"I'll die if one of them is injured or captured or..." I broke off, unable to say the word.
"Killed?" he finished bluntly for me.
"Yes."
We fell silent. Draco walked a few paces away and I stayed seated on the couch.
"Why are you so upset over me asking if anyone was killed?" I said softly. "You know that I would want to know if any one we went to school with was murdered or injured badly. On either side."
He didn't answer.
"I've asked about them before..."
"You never ask about me!" he interrupted.
My heart stopped.
"I think I would've known if you had been hurt..." I said slowly.
He shook his head.
"You were hurt tonight, weren't you?"
He nodded.
"Oh, Draco."
I stood and walked over to him. He had turned his back on me as he had said these things. And I reached out to touch his shoulder. He stepped forward so I couldn't touch him. I retracted my hand quickly, as if I had been burned.
"What happened?" I asked, barely audible.
After a moment of silence, he began to speak. His gaze was straight forward and he didn't move, save to breathe and speak.
"I had Granger cornered, and I'd been ordered to torture any member of the Order for information," he admitted. I involuntarily brought my right hand to cover my mouth. "Potter came to her rescue. He and Weasel hit me with nasty curses at the same time. I flew into a stone wall and was momentarily knocked out. When I came to, Potter was standing over me, his wand pointed at my heart. I was under a body-binding curse, so I couldn't move, even though I could taste blood running down my throat. I was sure he was going to kill me. He asked where you were. He demanded I tell him how to find you. He demanded that I bring you back. 'She'll never be yours' he taunted. 'I've seen how she pretends in the pictures in The Daily Prophet. She fakes being happy, but that's not her real smile. I've seen the real one often enough to know when she's forcing it.' He kicked me in the stomach. 'And if she ever finds out what you've done tonight, she'll never touch you again. You'll have to put her under the Imperius Curse to get her to dance with you.' And then he laughed, because we all know the Imperius Curse doesn't work on you." He looked down at the ground suddenly, as if his concentration had been broken. He turned slowly to face me. "That's why I've been home for over an hour but haven't been up to see you. My skull was cracked and right arm was broken, I was nauseous from hitting my head and my stomach needed to empty itself of all the blood I'd swallowed."
I hadn't moved from my previous position, my hand was still hovering over my mouth. He turned to face me.
"Oh, Draco," I dropped my hand from my mouth, and stepped towards him. He raised a hand up to stop me.
"You won't want to touch me, remember?" he said.
I stopped in my tracks. He was serious.
"What did you do?" I asked slowly, not really wanting to know.
He didn't answer.
"That's right, you can't tell me," I sighed. "Well, then there's know way to know whether I'd ever touch you again, is there?"
I tried to make this sound cheerful. I failed. Draco just looked at me as miserable as ever.
"Why are you all of a sudden listening to Harry Potter?" I asked, actually curious, but more wanting to get to the bottom of this brooding Draco bit.
"I have every reason to believe what he says," Draco said. "He knows you better than anyone, and you don't know what I did."
"No, I don't. But I also don't know all the things Harry has done. And I never will," I responded.
Draco looked at me, but didn't reply.
"Did you kill someone, Draco?" I finally asked.
"No."
"Did you torture anyone?"
"No, not personally."
"Then I don't care what you did."
He looked at me incredulously.
"But Potter said—"
"Well, Harry is wrong, like nearly every other man I know," I interrupted.
Draco didn't smile at my poke at he male sex, he even turned away and walked towards the window. I took a step towards him, though he couldn't see me
"Draco, are you okay?" I asked.
He didn't answer for a moment.
"He's in love with you, you know," Draco finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly.
"What?"
"Harry Potter loves you," he replied again, looking back at me for a moment, then returning to look at the closed curtains in front of him. "I know what a guy looks and acts like when he's dealing with situations involving the woman he loves, and Potter definitely acts like a man in love when it comes to you."
"How many times do I have to tell you, Draco, we are friends," I said. I strode towards him, reaching to put a hand on his shoulder. "He's like my brother, and has been since we met over seven years ago."
"Prove it," he said.
"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously, retracting my hand.
"Prove that he's nothing more than just a friend," Draco turned to face me.
"And how do you expect me to do that?" I asked. "No wait, I don't even want to know," I waved him away with my hand, turning to walk back towards the couch. "I don't have to prove anything to you."
I picked up the book I'd been reading from the couch as well as my tea from the coffee table.
"Don't pretend your upset and wounded in order to get me to kiss you or love you or whatever you had planned. I'm not so easily manipulated, and I won't stand for it. What's more, I am yours whether I like it or not, Draco. If there were ever a fight over me between you and Harry, you'd win by default. We're betrothed. I belong to you. What do you have to worry about?" I turned on my heel and headed out the door.
"Your heart."
I stopped in my tracks, whipping around to face him.
"What?"
"I worry about who your heart belongs to," he replied. "I want your heart, Bella. I don't want to own you. But I do want to be given your heart. And that's something only you can give."
I stared at him for a moment, before exhaling huffily and leaving the library, closing the door behind me with a little unnecessary force. I willed my feet to move down the hall, away from the library, towards the room that was designated as mine. But my feet weren't listening to me. They remained rooted to the spot. The door behind me remained shut. Could I really be angry with Draco? He really just wanted me to love him back. I grappled with myself for a moment, before turning to face the door to the library I had just exited. I was so close to it, my nose nearly brushed the wood in front of me. I took a deep breath, placing my hand on the door knob. It turned under my hand, though I hadn't twisted my wrist. The door flung open and Draco nearly bowled me over, but just before colliding into me, he skidded to a halt. We were so close that I could feel the air from his exhaled breath brush across my nose.
"You didn't leave," came Draco's observation, his voice was soft, just above a whisper.
"No."
He pulled me into a hug suddenly.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into my hair.
"I have every right to be angry with you for trying to manipulate me," I said to him. "But I realize that under no circumstances can I be angry with you for wanting me to love you as you love me."
"I'm so sorry," he said. "You were right that I was out of line to demand you prove somrthing you have no control over."
I pulled away from him. "And, Draco, I care for you, and I will work with you to make our life together as happy as possible. But I am not in love with you. And for that, I am truly sorry."
In response to this, he just nodded his head and pressed a kiss onto my forehead.
We began to walk down the hall towards dinner. I let him take my empty tea mug from my left hand so it was empty and could be held by his right hand. A small smirk spread across his face after a moment.
"Why are you smiling?" I asked.
"You said you aren't in love with me," he said.
"Uh huh," I replied, not seeing the big deal.
"But you didn't say 'I don't love you,'" he specified, looking at my face.
I didn't return his gaze, but kept my eyes looking forward down the hall.
"And you didn't say, 'I'll never love you,'" he said hopefully.
"You are correct in your observations," was my only reply.
AN: Sorry it took so long for the update. I am continuing to write, so don't you fret. There will be more updates, they will just be few and far between until I have breaks from school. I should be able to update over Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Three other notes:
I skipped through most of the summer to get things moving. I did not forget about Draco and Harry's birthdays. I had things planned for these two days, but they weren't terribly important to the overall story. Narcissa took Bella shopping for Draco's gift. She and Lucius also held a huge ball at Malfoy Manor for Draco's birthday. Bella gave an envelope to Snape at one of the lessons to give to Hermione. It held a birthday note for Harry as well as some money and instructions on what to buy so that Hermione could actually obtain the gift for Bella and give it to him in her stead. Voldy was basically in a pissy mood for all of Harry's birthday, and everyone knew why. It made for a very uncomfortable day at Malfoy Manor.
If you have ANY questions regarding Bella as a character, how she fits into the original canon, any character traits, please ask! I'd love to tell you all about her, provide more information on her background, but a lot of it doesn't fit into the story. Much like Rowling and her characters, I know everything about Arabella, but not everything can be conveyed in the story. So just ask! I will respond. :D
For you Twilight fans. My Bella is not in any way related to Isabella Swan. Sorry. This is not a cross-over.
Thanks! Please review!