So I've seriously been thinking about restarting this story. I would keep basically everything the same, but I would change the whole Liam situation because I am literally pulling my hair out at how annoying I have made everything. I'm glad the majority of you like my story, but I am seriously so bothered by how much better my story would be if I switched things up just a little bit.

Yes? No?!

ugh, I really want to, but this story is so close to being done it seems kind of pointless, but at the same time...*screams with frustration*

please, please leave me a review and let me know because I feel like I can really turn things around, omg.

THANK YOU!

...

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."

― Anaïs Nin

...

The sound of dripping liquid was faint in Maia's ears until she slipped into full consciousness and was able to hear the noise fully. It sounded like water, although the heavy, thick splashes and metallic scent in the air gave the indication that the mystery liquid was blood. Her heightened senses cut through the darkness, allowing Maia to see that she probably in a garage of some sort, which consisted of many ominous, sharp looking tools. She tilted her head to both sides, expecting to see Jordan among the clutter, but he was nowhere in sight. This sent chills so far down her back, she could feel her body begin to shake violently. With the shaking came the clattering of metal, and with the clattering came a stinging pain that seared through her wrists and ankles. Maia knew she was cuffed with silver. And she knew it was her blood dripping from her shackled limbs.

"Jordan," She breathed, voice raspy. Maia did not know how long she had been out. The last thing she could remember was Stephen beginning to explain something in great detail, then out of nowhere, two lanky shadows shot out from behind him and attacked Jordan. Before she could do anything about it, Stephen was upon her, staring into her with eyes so dark, they seemed black. And that was all she saw for what felt like days...blackness.

"are you there?" Maia asked again. He throat was dry and it hurt with each word she was able to squeeze out, but she needed to know that she wasn't alone. If Maia had been abandoned in this discreet place, it could days or even weeks before anyone found her. And as a werewolf, she would not be able to survive that long without her mandatory resources to live.

"It's no use, wolf." Stephen stepped out of the corner of her eye, startling her. He was wearing the same suit, so Maia guessed it was the same day he had come across her and Jordan. His eyes skimmed over her already limp looking form, and he smiled wickedly, like it was something he had wanted to happen.

Maia felt weak. Drained. She had never felt this way before except for when she got attacked by that demon outside of Luke's house a few years back. She couldn't even bring herself to lengthen her canines or grow her claws. It was like something was blocking her from doing so and she couldn't figure out what.

"I see you've realized you can't Turn." Stephen noted casually. He was frowning now, although there was the hint of a ghost smile set on his lips.

"What did you do to me?" Maia growled.

Stephen clasped his hands together and this time let a full smile slip onto his lips, "While I was hiding, I conducted many experiments. Of course, I can't tell you exactly what my plans are because then I would either have to keep you here with me...or kill you." He brought his face up right next to Maia's and whispered in her ear, "Don't think I won't do whatever it takes to succeed all of my goals. I won't stop at a couple of mangy mutts. Oh, wait...you're no longer a wolf anymore. How could I forget when it was my own creation?" Stephen backed away from Maia just as she was opening her mouth to say something, "Where is Jordan?"

"I decided I didn't need him because you were just being so much more cooperative-"

"You killed him?" Maia cried, feeling her heart skip a beat in her chest.

"No!" Stephen snapped, "But I should have because now he's going to run off to the Clave and tell them everything."

Maia felt all of her patience slipping away. There was no way the Clave nor the rest of her pack would be able to find her before Stephen was able to get his hands on her again. She didn't even want to imagine the things this sinister man could do to her, and it made her skin crawl just thinking about it, "Why don't you just kill me now? Kill me and go find someone else who doesn't give a shit about screwing with other peoples' lives!" Maia spat furiously.

"I can't do that while you're part of my plan." He began walking out of the large room, but right when he got to the door, he turned and looked at her with narrowed eyes, "You will be under my control when your new Turn happens at the next full moon. I will be your owner and you will take after me, and obey me. Because that's what dogs do, right?"

...

"So, he's basically not a shadowhunter anymore…" Alec said softly. His eyes were sympathetic, although they were avoiding Jace's gaze, which was so full of brokenness, he had no choice but to look away. It was one thing to feel your parabatai hurting through the bond, but to see him ache and be in so much distress from losing something that was basically their whole life was incredibly disheartening.

"I can't draw runes, I can't receive runes, I can't rouse my seraph blades...my runes are fading." Jace said in a voice so low it was almost a whimper. He looked miserable, having been subject to bedrest for the rest of the week in order to heal because he couldn't get any iratzes. And that was besides the fact that he could no longer be the shadowhunter he was before. The Silent Brothers could not come up with any collective solutions to omit the cursed rune, and after attempting to get help from a few warlocks and having no results, they decided to call on the Iron Sisters, who were not pleased to be summoned. They wouldn't even come in to see Jace, claiming that they crafted weapons of war, not weapons of 'fix all of Jace Herondale's problems'.

"I can't believe they won't help. They could die. Stephen is coming to kill us all for all we know." Clary muttered. She hadn't left Jace's side since the moment he was found on the steps of the Institute. She knew it wasn't fair to the Clave or her own family who needed her, but Jace was going through a crisis, and Clary thought it imperative to be with him.

"Clary," Jace tilted his head to the side, seeming quite drained from just sitting up and speaking, "I need you to take Stephen down. He can't do this to me or whoever else he's attacking-"

"Jace, no one knows where he is-" Clary countered, feeling quite heartbroken at the fact that she still couldn't give him what he wanted.

"Well then find him." He growled, eyes burning with tears, "I will not let him take what defines me away from me."

...

"I can't, Simon." Isabelle said flatly, "I need to go to Idris alone."

Simon ran a hand through his hair, feeling quite flustered. There were dark circles under his eyes that hadn't been there before, as well as semi permanent tired reflection in the dark orbs. "You want me to watch the twins alone?"

"You've done it a million times before and they're almost four years old, how hard could it be?" Izzy shot back, "I can't watch them while I'm in Idris because I am going to be in back to back meetings and I can't have them running around, distracting me and everyone else. Don't even get me started on how you're asking me to bring Layla through a portal when she just got out of a coma." Her voice was quivering with fear. She had never been so nervous about the way things might go. Sure, going into battle could ignite some nerves, but that was different because battles can only have two outcomes: death or success. The meeting could flop, conclude nothing, or conclude something. While she's in Idris, things could go down with Stephen and the shadowhunters that were unprotected. "For fuck's sake-is there any way you could get ascended sooner? Because we're going to need all the help we can get and I don't want to leave you here with that bastard running around-"

Simon grabbed her hands, squeezing them comfortingly between his own in an effort to calm her down, "Iz, don't worry about me. The reason why I wanted you to take the twins was because I can't protect them like you and all the other shadowhunters in Idris would be able to if Stephen were to go over there. If he comes here, Iz...I may have been handy with a bow that one time, but we don't have a bow now and...I'm not a shadowhunter yet-"

Isabelle's face was draining of her blood, and her teeth were digging into her lower lip as her eyes filled with tears, "I've never been so scared for you or our kids, Si. Stephen got Jace; he must know where the rest of us are. We don't know where he is, and I need to protect you, but you can't come to Idris because you're a mundane." She backed away from Simon and leaned on the kitchen counter for support as her back began to ache with pain again, "And I feel useless all because we weren't careful and now I'm going to have a baby-"

"Iz-" Simon spoke softly and reached out to her, but she whipped her head up, eyes blazing with the heat of her own mingling fear and self resentment, "Don't 'Iz' me, Simon, please. I just need some time alone-"

Simon shook his head, frowning as the thought of him being apart from his wife for days settled, "No, we're married and we stick together through it all. We're supposed to help each other and make one another feel better."

Izzy shook her head, "You know I've ruined our marriage, Si," She looked away from him as his eyes clouded over and his expression shifted from sympathetic to pained.

"Why would you say that?" He whispered, voice trembling.

"You don't look at me the same way anymore," Izzy breathed. She finally looked at him again, only to see that his eyes were growing increasingly red with the effort of holding back tears.

"The same way as…?"

"When we first met, got married-before I fucked up." She smiled weakly, "I see the love you have for Layla and Kaden but when you look at me, I only see weariness-"

"Izzy, if this is about Liam, I'm sorry if I have sent you the wrong signals. I'm not upset that we're having a third child. It's normal for everyone to be stressed out if they have multiple events going on in their lives and we definitely have a lot of things going on. I'm not mad at you; you beyond any doubt did not get yourself pregnant, so I cannot be disconcerted over that. I sure as hell still love you, Isabelle. Every couple is going to fight and have their rough patches, especially if they have multiple children. But you of all people should not be discouraged. Izzy, I have seen you fight, I have seen you kill, and we both know that an enemy does not go down after the first blow. Sure this bump has risen in our marriage multiple times before, but that doesn't mean without more patience and contrasting solutions we can't overcome it."

...

"Isabelle, you need to take a breather. You have been running around, on edge for the past week." Simon said gently the moment his wife walked in through the bathroom door and into their bedroom. She was wearing a gold, satin robe that tied loosely over her stomach and trailed just above her knees. Her hair was still damp from showering and her cheeks rosy, skin glowing. At first, Simon was distracted by how beautiful she was, and forgot what he was saying. But as soon as she went over to her phone to check it for new messages, he remembered, "Iz,"

She turned her phone off and looked at him, eyes void of makeup, but still dark with exhaust. "What?"

Simon gestured for her to come sit down, but Izzy shook her head, sighing loudly, "I can't go to bed yet. There's too much-"

"Work to do?" Simon asked incredulously, "Izzy, I get that being a shadow hunter is your job, and I'm not asking you to stop when you just started again, but please, take it easy. Because you're going to Idris tomorrow, you should get a good night's sleep...when was the last time you had a full night's sleep?"

Izzy was averting his eyes, tugging her fingers through her hair as he continued to speak. It was clear she didn't want to discuss the subject, but knew there was no avoiding it, "I'm pregnant, I can't sleep anyway."

Simon looked away, rolling his eyes slightly as he covered his face with his hands. He took them away again when he felt Isabelle sit next to him then put her arms around his shoulders. She kissed his neck and his jaw, then finally covered his lips with hers, bringing her hand up to the back of his neck to kiss him harder.

Simon was the first to pull away, but his fingers lingered in her hair to brush it out of her eyes. "Talk to me."

Isabelle smiled nervously, biting her lip in the most adorable way. She looked like she was about to say something, but as soon as she opened her mouth, instead of words coming out, a small gasp did, and her eyes widened with alarm. "Simon!"

"What?" He was still slightly lightheaded from the kiss and as he tried to lean in for another one, Isabelle pushed him back. This time he noticed she was trembling, and he took her hand in his to confirm it. "Izzy, what's wrong?"

"I think my water broke."

...

remember to please leave me a review or PM me with your opinion on my story and whether you think I should change it up or not!

Unfortunately, I'm not going to say what I would change it to because that would spoil it, but PLEEEEAAASSEEEE leave me your thoughts!

thanks again,

-H.