Chapter 21

Lover's Resentment

She couldn't believe it... she couldn't believe he could do something like that to her.

Alone in her bedroom, Madeline truly felt like she would never be able to love or trust somebody again. The young girl could still feel the pain on her cheek, as if the butler had slapped her just a few moment ago. She had no idea what hurt the most; the slap or the fact that Damien, the man she loved with her whole heart, had mercilessly betrayed her and sided with the man she was forced to call her father. Never in her entire life, she had felt this hurt; not even her parents were able to make her feel this hurt during her lonely, love-deprived childhood. It felt like her heart had shattered into millions of pieces and she couldn't find anything to put it back together. Madeline thought she could trust Damien, she thought he was finally going to stand up to her abusive father. Good God, she couldn't believe her ears when he offered to be the one to punish her. What was going on here? For a moment she felt like she was caught in a bad dream, but the young girl soon realized this was the cruel reality when she felt Damien's hand striking her face. She could clearly remember the moment where she felt her heart shattering and when she stared at the butler's face. It was the face that she loved so much, the same face that had haunted her dreams in a good way. But then she didn't see the face of her lover; she saw the face of a traitor.

Even when she was running up the stairs, almost blinded by her own tears, Madeline wanted to believe that this was still a bad dream and that she would wake up at any moment with Damien lying next to her, gently stroking her face and telling her how much he loved her. But no, she was wide awake. As soon as she entered her bedroom, Madeline had slammed the door shut behind her as hard as she could. Lying on her bed, she couldn't stop crying. How long had she been crying? Half an hour? Several hours? She just didn't know, she had lost all track of time. With the tears that trickled down her cheeks, something else came out.

Bitter resentment.

Damien had betrayed her. He had mercilessly stepped on her heart and crushed it right underneath his foot. That treacherous bastard had tricked her into falling in love with him, he pretended to care about her, only to side with her father when the time was right. God, she couldn't believe she fell for it... she hated him so much. That man had touched her, kissed her, he even had been inside her, Madeline almost wanted to vomit at that thought. She had lost her virginity to a filthy traitor. When she heard him knocking on her bedroom door that night, pleading her to let him in and explain everything, but this just made the anger well up more and more. Madeline remembered yelling at him to go away and that she never wanted to see him again, until she heard him falling silent and walking away from the door. For the rest of the night, she stayed in her room, refusing to come out; her father and former lover were dead to her, even more dead than her mother and Nikki.

When she woke up the next morning, Madeline found out her pillow was soaking wet; dear God, she must've cried herself to sleep. But the few hours of dreamless sleep she had that night did nothing to soothe her hatred towards Damien. Her tears had dried up on her cheeks, causing them to feel a bit sticky. From the first moment she awoke, Madeline could feel the anger she had for the butler welling up inside her. She was going to refuse to leave her bedroom, her father or Damien had to drag her out of here if they wanted her to get out. And if they thought she was going to join them for breakfast, they would be so wrong; she would rather starve to death than eat the breakfast the man who broke her heart made for her. Madeline couldn't feel an ounce of love in her broken heart for the butler; she hated him from the bottom of her soul. She thought they had something beautiful going on together, a kind of relationship she never had with anyone. How could he do this to her? What had she done to him to deserve this?! Madeline had absolutely no idea.

As the minutes ticked by and her stomach started to growl in protest, the young girl still refused to go downstairs, let alone speak to her father or Damien. Sitting on her bed and staring at the wall in front of her, Madeline swore she had never felt this upset in her entire life. This was even worse than being yelled at by Frederick or ignored by Antoinette, no, this way more painful that all of that.

She was so hurt...

The fire that represented her anger towards Damien flamed up like a wildfire in an instant. Madeline got up from her bed, got down on her hands and knees and searched for her collection of poems. Once her fingertips touched the leather of the cover, she retrieved it and threw it on her bed. She got up, opened it and searched for the poem she had written for the butler she had once loved. Madeline found it and her eyes hastily read the words. Reading it back at this moment make her anger increase even more. Without any hesitation, Madeline ripped the page out of the book and shred into many tiny pieces. The shreds of paper fluttered down on the sheets of her bed like snowflakes in the winter. The sound of ripping paper did very little to ease Madeline's anger. She couldn't believe she had written those loving words for that man, what a waste of time, how revolting! Eventually the poem couldn't be ripped into any more pieces, but Madeline still felt the need to destroy something to relieve her anger. She looked around and her eye fell on a large square-shaped object in a corner.

The portrait Damien had given to her on her eighteenth birthday.

The young woman got up from her bed and walked towards the corner, trying to figure out how to destroy the present; she could either smash it against the wall or she could kick a hole through it. She picked it up, more than ready to break it... but then, in the blink of an eye, she noticed that she was hesitating. Something inside her was stopping her from destroying the portrait.

But why...?

Staring at the painting, Madeline was brought back to that one day, where she sat down and acted like Damien's muse. She was the one who asked him to paint her and he was more than glad to do this for her. God, she was so excited on that day, she was unable to contain her happiness. It had to be one of the most precious memories she had, next to the night where she and Damien officially became lovers. It was just her and the butler, it was so romantic, so loving. He had shown her how much he actually loved her. Oh, those beautiful memories... it made the fire inside her dim.

Three knocks on the bedroom door made Madeline snap out of her thoughts.

'Madeline?' the voice she would recognize like no other asked behind the door. 'Please, let me in. I want to talk with you, I can explain my actions! Madeline, please, listen to me...'

If she hadn't laid eyes on the portrait a few moments ago, Madeline would've yelled at him to leave her be, but now it was like she was frozen, torn between the heartbreak and resentment that still lingered around her and the will to give him a chance. But those memories, those unforgettable memories... She closed her eyes for a second and let out a sigh, then stood up and walked to the door. Fine, she was going to let him in... but she wasn't sure whether she was able to forgive him or not for what he had done. Madeline would never forget the fact that the love of her life had hit her, it hurt her so much to know that.

Was Damien still the love of her life?

The door slowly opened and butler was almost startled by the nearly emotionless eyes that stared at him in the doorway. The area around Madeline's eyes had colored in a soft shade of red; the poor peach must have cried herself to sleep, realizing that broke Damien's heart even more. There couldn't be a single trace of what came close to love found on Madeline's face. The realization that this was all his fault struck Damien like the punch of a bare-knuckle fighter in the streets of London. Even though he was glad that she finally decided to let him talk, he decided to remain calm; if he would act desperate, things were likely to escalate.

'Can I come in?' he asked. Please my dear angel, can you ever forgive me for what I've done?

The young girl nodded, not saying a word. She stepped back, allowing the butler to enter her bedroom. The door closed behind him with a soft click and on that moment, he could see emotion in her eyes; she was about to burst into tears.

'Why did you do it, Damien?' Madeline asked with a slightly trembling voice, glaring straight at the butler. Tears started to spill over, trickling down her cheeks. 'You're so cruel! I thought that we were lovers! You are supposed to be in love with me, not side with my father! How could you do this to me?! You have betrayed me, you have hurt me in the worst way possible! I thought you loved me!'

'And I do love you, Madeline!' Damien replied, still trying to hold onto his calm and collected attitude. 'But please, listen to me. I never wanted to hurt you, but I had no choice!'

'That's a lie! You did have a choice! You could've stopped Father from hitting me, but instead you offered to be the one to hit me!'

'I did want to stop Frederick, that's why I said that! I wanted to save you, Madeline! But the plan, it went wrong!'

'Plan? What are you talking about?'

'The reason why I offered to do the punishment was so I could get you of there. I wasn't going to slap you, I'm telling the truth here, Madeline. The plan was to lead you out of the dinner room under the guise of punishing you. But... it completely backfired. I was convinced that it was going to work, God, I was such a fool... But it's the truth and nothing else, Madeline. I have never wanted to hurt you. I will probably never forgive myself for what I have done. Ma fleur franco-américaine, you are everything to me. You are my angel. I have waited an eternity for a young woman like you, so why would I possibly want to hurt you like that?'

Madeline stared at the butler, as if she was on the verge of forgiving him. She then glanced at the ground and shook her head. 'I... I don't know if I can believe you... You have hurt me so much...'

'Madeline.' Damien never thought he would do this for any woman, but she was definitely worth it. He went down on his knees, kneeling in front of her. His angel slightly frowned in confusion and opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it when he grabbed her hands. 'Look at me, my love.' he said. 'I'm on my knees for you right now, but not as the man who had broken your heart on purpose, but as the man who is willing to do everything for you to keep you safe from the horrors your father has to offer you. Yes, I admit, I failed to help you last night, and I will never forgive myself for this failure. Ma chère, listen to me when I say this. If I wouldn't have slapped you, your father would've fired me and I would never be able to see you again. I refuse to continue living without you on my side, my love. Some lovers are more than willing to do the most horrible things for the ones they love... and I suppose I am one of them. But I would never betray you. You are the love of my life, Madeline Lancaster. And that will never change.'

It was completely quiet in the bedroom.

As she stared into her beloved butler's eyes, Madeline could feel her heart starting to ache. Dear God, she couldn't, she just couldn't...

'Damien...'

Without any warning, the young woman went down on her knees and pulled him in for a forgiving embrace. Since last night, the butler felt like heavy chains had wrapped around his soul, but as soon as his angel pressed her body against his, the chains fell off with a rattling noise before they crumbled into dust.

'Nobody has ever spoken to me with such sincerity...' Madeline whispered, burying her face against his shoulder and running her fingers through his black hair. 'I believe you... and I forgive you.'

'My darling...' Damien wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling the love they had for each other melting back together as one. His angel suddenly looked up, smiled at him and kissed him on his lips, sealing the forgiveness. He was more than glad to give into it, just like all the other times she had kissed him, closing his eyes and gently kissing back. They both soon needed air and the kiss was abruptly broken.

'I love you...' the butler whispered, wiping a lock of hair that was hanging in front of his angel's face away. He saw a warm twinkle appearing in the corner of her eyes, accompanied by that one smile that was able to unleash his deepest desires for her inside him; it was the smile that had a mix of playfulness and a small hint of mischief in it. The kiss had caused her cheeks to turn in a soft shade of red.

'Show me how much you love me, Damien...'

The butler didn't have to be told that twice. Letting out a soft grunt, he dove in for another kiss, this time a little more rougher but definitely more passionate. Madeline touched his cheeks, pulling him in closer. The love that had died last night was now resurrected, collecting the pieces of her heart and putting them back together. The young woman could feel Damien's beard scratching against her chin, but she didn't mind it; she no longer saw him as the man who betrayed her, but as her true love. Their lips parted with a barely audible pop and Damien moved his lips to the sensitive skin of her neck, planting numerous kisses on it. Madeline closed her eyes and whimpered in delight.

'Ah... so good...'

But Damien wasn't planning on stopping his treatment right there. He stood up and grabbed Madeline's hand, guiding in her to her bed. As soon as she realized where this was going, the smile on her face grew bigger. The butler sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her towards him, allowing her to sit down on his lap and face him. When Madeline was done with positioning herself, Damien slowly pulled down the neckline of his angel's dress, pulling down her sleeves along with it, exposing the small breasts he had touched so many times. In a fit of burning passion, the butler buried his mouth between the globes of flesh, kissing and licking the skin between them. Madeline softly hummed, running her fingers through the butler's raven black hair.

'Yes... ah, Damien... I love you so much...'

Damien could swear to God that her voice was driving him crazy with passion. His hands touched her everywhere, running down from her back to her behind, he couldn't help but giving it a gentle squeeze. He wanted to be the only man to touch her like this, every man who would dare to do this to her would have to fear his wrath. Madeline was his angel, she would forever be his angel. Suddenly she slipped out of his hands, now standing in front of him. Her smile had something seductive when she stripped herself of her undergarments, kicking it away once she had taken it off. Her hands reached for Damien's crotch, her fingers slowly unbuttoned his pants and released his fully hardened manhood; laying eyes upon it caused her to softly giggle.

'There, that's more like it...'

Madeline positioned herself back on his lap again, more than ready for what she was going to do next. Moments later, Damien felt a hot, wet, soft sensation engulfing his manhood inch by inch, the first sparks of pleasure traveling through his loins. His angel slightly bit her lower lip as she lowered herself on him, ignoring the minor pain and concentrating on the pleasure.

'Oh God, Madeline...' the butler whispered with a hoarse voice.

'This is what you want, right?' the young woman asked, the seductive smile not leaving her face for a second. 'Making love with each other, making our bodies and soul become one... I know you want this, Damien.'

'Yes... Madeline... I... I want you... so much!' Taking a hold of her buttocks, Damien started to thrust his hips upwards, pounding himself and out of her. As the jolts of pleasure became heavier, Madeline let out a soft cry and rested the back of her head against her neck, making her long, wavy, golden hair look like a waterfall of hair. More thrusts followed, increasing the pleasure more; for a split moment she thought she wasn't able to think straight anymore. She began to roll her hips by herself, causing Damien to let of her behind and let himself fall on his back, allowing to pleasure to take full control of him.

'I... I, ah! I want you to be the, hmm, only man in my life, Damien!' Madeline cried out. 'I don't... I don't want, ah, anybody else, only you! Aahaaa!'

'Ma...de...line... Yes... I want you too!' The butler replied in between his panting.

The butler put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. He immediately pressed his lips against hers, earning a loud hum from her. The butler grabbed her behind again and moved his hips in a faster pace, causing Madeline to abruptly break the kiss and let a louder, trembling cry of pleasure. Both of their bodies were screaming for more, thirsty for the passionate love they had for each other. This was pure bliss, nothing more and nothing and less.

It didn't last long before Damien felt that he was getting close to falling over the edge. 'Madeline... I'm going to... oh God, Madeline!'

Knowing what was coming next, his angel quickly got off of him. It took three quick strokes for the butler to reach his climax, letting out a shuddering groan as thick drops of white trickled down his knuckles.

A peaceful, nearly dreamy atmosphere suddenly filled the room as the rekindled lovers enjoyed the quiet aftermath together. With a fiery red blush on her cheeks and her eyes half-lidded, Madeline rested her body against Damien, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. The butler leaned in a bit closer to kiss her on the forehead.

'Father can try all he wants...' his angel mumbled. 'But he can never separate us. Right, Damien?'

Damien smiled at her and nodded.

Nothing could make him stop loving her.