A/N: Some of you may have noticed that I changed the rating on this story from T to M. That is not because this is going to turn into a sex story. I just felt like I might be toeing the line a bit, especially later (you'll see) and thought it would be better to err on the side of caution. There are going to be some pretty steamy moments at different times, though again, no out-right sex—I do have teen readers after all. Just thought I'd let you know.

As always, Stephenie Meyer is the master of the Twilight universe.

Chapter Twenty-One

I followed their progress up the stairs through Jacob and Olivia's thoughts. Both Jacob and Olivia were more comfortable now that they were away from my family. Olivia's thoughts were directed towards me as she followed behind Bella. She could understand why Bella would be attracted to me, but she didn't understand how Bella could be comfortable with someone who could read her mind. Apparently Jacob hadn't told her that my abilities were negligible with Bella's mind. She also didn't understand how Bella could be so at ease with my family or how we were able to resist out natures around humans. She was impressed but mystified. If we didn't harm humans, why was it that the majority of the pack was so hostile when it came to our family?

Jacob was totally focused on Bella's form as she led them up the stairs and down the hall, though in the back of his mind, he was acutely aware of every one of Olivia's breaths, heart beats, and movements. Walking between these two women, he felt a pull towards both. He tried to push it away, repress it. He hated that pull inside of him. When he was solely with Olivia, he felt okay, maybe a little sad, but mostly he felt complete. But when he was around Bella, particularly when he was with both women, such as on the day they met on the beach and today, he felt an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt because of the pull he felt towards each woman. He felt ashamed for loving Olivia because of what he had done to Bella. He felt ashamed for loving Bella because it kept him from being able to give the world to Olivia and her baby, Marina, from making them feel as if, for him, there were no other people more important than them. But with Bella still so near, still suffering over her losses and his believing that she would one day end her life to become a Cullen, he couldn't completely forgive himself and he couldn't move on.

Once they reached Bella's room, Bella gestured for Jacob and Olivia to sit. Both sat on the edge of the bed, while Bella sat in the armchair in the corner. All three were silent at first, unsure of what to say.

Olivia was the first one to talk. "I assume Jake told you why I wanted to speak with you."

"Yes. You want the whole truth about us, about our life together, and our relationship." Olivia nodded. "The thing is, in telling you the whole truth from my side, I'm going to reveal some difficult things, the ways in which I have hurt Jacob, things I wish he didn't have to hear because they're not simple and straightforward. So, Jake, before I begin, I want to apologize to you."

"It's okay, Bella. I've always known you were complicated. I won't be upset with you. I know you've never meant to hurt me, just as I never meant to hurt you."

"Thanks, Jake." She gave him a small smile. "I have to admit, I've been imagining this conversation for a while, thinking about how I could rationalize my experience, what I have done." She laughed. "I practically have a speech prepared."

Olivia and Jacob both smiled at her, Jacob a bit amusedly. This was a part of Bella he understood, the need of hers to rationalize and explain everything to herself, to make everything fit, even the parts that refused to do so.

"My life has been marked by spurts of predictability and then wild detours into the unknown. It all started when I was 17 and moved from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks. The move itself was nothing out of the ordinary. I was just moving from my mother's house to my father's, hardly an unusual thing to do. Soon after arriving in Forks, though, my life started to twist into something strange and unreal, something that I'm sure my father would have me committed for if he knew about.

"I had never liked Forks very much. I resisted coming every year when I spent time with my father. It was too dark, dank, and strange. Any place in the United States with an actual rainforest close by is guaranteed to be creepy for someone who was used to dry and predictable Arizona. The world of Arizona fit the kind of girl I was: predictable, rational, and analytical. I was never one given to extreme romanticism and I didn't have an unhealthy fascination with the uncanny." Jacob interrupted her monologue with a sarcastic laugh. Bella smiled at him, understanding. "At least, that is how I thought I was. Looking back, I think I was probably wrong, though. I mean, there had to be an unnatural part of me. Otherwise, why would some of my favorite books be Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, and Dracula, all books rife with romantic, preternatural, and supernatural forces? Otherwise, why would the landscape and world of Forks, Washington creep me out so much? How else would I have been pulled into a world marked by monsters and mythology? Maybe I had never been comfortable with Forks because I sensed my dangerous proclivities and they scared me. Perhaps somehow I knew that if I entered the dark world that resided in the Olympic peninsula, I would never turn back; I would never be the same girl again.

"As my unconscious mind must have known I would, I did get pulled into that world. Actually, I entered it willingly. It all started when I fell in love with a vampire and it ended when I married a werewolf. Although I loved both, it was the Edward who had my heart and soul from the very beginning." Jacob frowned. I sensed his inner turmoil. He knew this about Bella, but it was still hard to hear it. "You see, I don't let go of my loyalties easily. When Edward left, leaving my world shrouded in darkness, it was Jake with his sunny personality who was able to lighten my world again. It was horribly ironic that as soon as one monster left, another emerged, taking his place. In the end, though, understanding Jacob's hidden identity was a relief, because, if he really was a protector, then Edward truly existed somewhere. The existence of one meant the reality of the other, and as long as I knew Edward existed, I could survive.

"In time, though, Jacob began to carve out a place in my heart as well. He was sunny and warm, the perfect antidote to the cold and empty heart I had inside my chest. I never forgot about Edward, though. At first, his absence devoured and consumed me, made me an empty shell, a mere shadow of what I had been. When I traded my emptiness for insanity, his absence still defined me. I risked my life over and over just so that I could hear his voice. Even as I began to let Jacob into my heart, I covetously held onto the part of me that belonged to Edward.

"There are many words one might use to describe my choice to let Jacob in despite the fact that my heart was still taken: selfish, fickle, unfaithful, perfidious, cruel. All of these words would be true, but it didn't stop me from doing what I did and it didn't stop Jacob from accepting me. Over the years of our friendship and in the beginning of our romantic relationship, Jacob and I had to thrash out the truth. I had to tell him honestly the true state of my heart. Jacob knew I'd never forget Edward, and that, more importantly, I'd never try to, but he wanted me anyways. The truth is, we needed each other. We both needed the stability the other provided. He saved me from the gaping emptiness, and I saved him from losing himself when he changed.

"From my whole experience, I learned two things about love, or rather, that there are two different kinds of romantic love. The first is dealt by fate. I learned about this kind of love from Edward. The love that comes from fate is passionate, all consuming, and runs the risk of burning itself out. It is cataclysmic, seismic: it shakes the soul to the core. It is like a lightening bolt, striking you with deadly accuracy. When it strikes, it is unavoidable; it sets you on a path from which it is impossible to look back until it is over, and even then, it leaves a behind a relic: a scorch mark or a scar.

"The second kind of love comes though choice. It is like a slow fire, something that must be watched over and fed. If it is cared for in the right way, it can turn into a steady blaze, warming, and sometimes even eventually capable of burning everything around it. From Jacob I learned that if you choose to love someone, if you choose to spend your life trying to become one with them, trying to make them happy, you will. Jake and I met on this plane. We both had the goal to love and save the other. Our individual goals aligned us and joined us together in a level of intimacy I had never known could exist outside of the kind of love I had had for Edward.

"Not everyone is lucky to experience either one of these kinds of love, and yet, I got both. I'm not sure I deserved it." Both Jacob and Olivia made noises of disagreement and Bella gave them a shy, apologetic smile.

"Anyways, like I said, I never forgot Edward, but over time, the damage that had been done when he left began to repair itself, mostly because of Jacob, but then the news of my pregnancy also played a role. I had never really thought about becoming a mother. I knew Jacob wanted children, but we planned on waiting a while, at least until he finished college. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you view it, I realized I was pregnant shortly after Jacob and I got engaged. As soon as I got the results from the over-the-counter pregnancy test, I was filled with an intense heat. I wanted this child, Jacob's child. I wanted to give a little something back to the man who had given me so much. At first, that was all I could think about— how happy Jacob would be— but over time, I began to want the baby for itself. This peaked when we went for our first ultrasound and I got to hear my child's heart beat. I sobbed as I listened to that quick thump-thump. For the first time since I had been with Edward, I felt completely and totally whole; there was nothing missing in my heart in that moment. Jacob and my baby took over everything inside of me, and Edward seemed like a distant memory, more like a strange dream than a real part of my history.

"The feeling of wellbeing continued. Jacob and I were blissfully happy as we prepared for Laurel's birth. Even though we didn't talk about it, I think Jacob could see a change in me. Sure, I was crazy and emotional a lot, but overall, I was happier than I had ever been and more committed to Jacob.

"I have always been good at compartmentalizing, of avoiding thinking about painful things, but with Laurel in my swollen belly, it was even easier. I was able to really let Edward go for the first time. Any conscious thoughts I had of him were those of gratitude that I had had any time with him at all and wondering where he was and what he was doing. There was not any longing in these ponderings. The last vestige of my time with and longing for Edward was in my dreams, but I had come to accept these and not let them stick with me after I woke up.

"Well, you know what happened—I lost Laurel. I went into premature labor and then was in a car crash. I don't know which thing to blame, but I lost her. Edward was there at the accident. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was hallucinating, but there he was and there he stayed. He had been here in Forks for a couple of months, actually. Alice, you know, the short one with spiky hair, had been getting these weird visions about me and had insisted that Edward come check on me. He did and once he saw me again, he couldn't leave. You see— he never forgot me either. He loved me all those years. He only stayed away because he wanted me to be human, to be happy, to get married, and to have children: all things he thought he couldn't give me.

"I'm sure Jake told you what happened for him. One look at you and something inside of him changed, shifted, however you want to describe it, and suddenly, you were the thing keeping him tied to the earth. At least, that's how other members of his pack have described it. He was so distraught about it and when he found out what happened to me and that Laurel was gone, I'm sure it must have been very painful."

As she spoke these words, Jacob winced and seemed to cower away from Olivia. She put a hand on his shoulder in comfort. Bella got up and sat on the other side of him, placing a hand on his other shoulder.

"It's okay, Jake. It wasn't your fault. And it's better, right? I mean, you're okay now. I'm sure you still feel sad about Laurel, but you don't have to feel pain over me anymore. I'm happy, or nearly there. You and I were and are wonderful friends, tied together in a very special way, like identical twins perhaps, but we were never meant to be lovers—not in this world."

Jake was crying now. The stress of the situation, the anger he still felt, the remembrances of painful times had overcome his tight control. "Shh, my darling. It's okay." Bella pulled him into a hug while Olivia looked on with tears in her eyes. "I'll never forget you and everything you did for me, but I want you to be happy, to forgive yourself." His breathing eventually slowed as Bella held him and rubbed his back. "There is something else I have to tell you, Jake." He looked up, sensing the nervousness in her voice. "I'm leaving Forks. I have to move on, Jake, and I think that that is the best way to begin."

"Where are you going? Are the Cullens—" His mind was split between shock, hope, fear, and loss.

"Yeah, we're all leaving. We're going to Vermont. I'm going to get my own little place and go to graduate school, maybe to become a teacher." I could tell, and so could Jacob, that she had left out whether or not she would be doing this as a human or not. He wanted to ask but bit back the question, knowing that he might not like the answer.

"I'm surprised you want to be a teacher. You are extremely eloquent. I pegged you for a future author," Olivia added.

Bella blushed. "No, I just read a lot."

"That and you have a turn for the dramatic," Jacob said, teasingly.

Bella hit his shoulder playfully. "I do not."

"Then what was up with the monologue?"

"Shut up!" she exclaimed, but all three were laughing.

"When are you leaving?" Jake asked.

"I'm not really sure. We haven't really discussed that. I still need to go see Laurel again, at least once, to say goodbye, you know, but I'd prefer it if I could visit with her a couple more times before going. I went for first time only very recently. It was—" she paused and swallowed. Jacob took her hand. Olivia leaned over and also put a hand on Bella.

"I know," Jacob whispered. "It was really hard for me the first time, too."

"You've been more than once?"

"Yeah. I've been twice, though I'm not sure if you could count the first time. I only stayed for about two minutes before I had to go. Olivia came with me the second time and that helped."

"I didn't actually come. You told me to stay in the car."

"Yeah, but knowing you were there helped a lot." He smiled at her warmly.

"Olivia?" Bella asked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad Jake and you became friends. I sincerely hope things work out for the two of you."

"And you as well." She paused for a few moments. "Are you with Edward now?"

"Yes." Bella blushed. Jacob smirked at her even though it made him kind of want to throw up.

"Isn't it weird that he can hear people's thoughts?" Olivia whispered.

Bella laughed. "They can still hear you even if you whisper."

"Oh." Olivia blushed.

"No, it's not weird. It's such an integral part of Edward that I don't really think about it anymore. Of course, it helps that he can't actually hear my thoughts."

"He can't?" She looked at Jacob suspiciously as if she blamed him for withholding this fascinating truth.

"No. We have no idea why, but overall, I think it is a good thing. He probably wouldn't have fallen in love with me if he knew that I was just like everyone else inside my head."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. As if there were any way that I could not love Bella.

"Could I ask you for a favor, Bells?" Jake asked.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Could I see you again before you leave? There's something I'd like to give you and to tell you, but I want to tell you only when the thing is ready."

"Okay." She said, somewhat suspiciously.

"I should probably get home, Jake. It's almost eight. I promised Marina I'd put her to bed tonight and it's already past her bedtime." Olivia stood, as did Jacob. "Thank you for sharing your story with me, Bella." She leaned over and gave her a hug.

"I hope it helped. The thing is, Olivia, Jake is a really, really good guy, the best you'll probably ever meet. I don't want you to hold back for my sake. That goes for you too, Jake. We've got to move on and Olivia is right for you. Olivia, I think you'll be good for him, not to mention that he will be good for you. This guy has got a gigantic heart. He will make a wonderful father."

Jake reached out for Olivia's hand and caressed it. She blushed, but looked altogether pleased.

"See you, Jake." Bella reached up for another hug. He kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you for everything, Bella. Miss you."

"Miss you, too."

They came down the stairs, overall a much more peaceful looking group than when they had gone up.

"It was nice meeting you all," Olivia said politely.

"You too. I put together a plate of cinnamon rolls I made this morning for you to take home and share with Jake and Marina," Esme said as she stepped towards Olivia, handing her a plate.

"Wow! Thanks! That was so thoughtful of you. They smell amazing. Marina will love them."

Jake looked taken aback at Esme's generosity. He looked to Bella for an explanation. Bella shrugged as if to say, "she can't help it."

Although most of my family felt comfortable that Olivia wasn't the sort to betray our secret, I could tell that Jasper felt uneasy leaving that string untied. He gave Carlisle a look that said it all. In response, Carlisle stepped forward to shake Olivia's hand with a kind smile.

"We're so glad that you were able and willing to come talk to Bella and to hear her story, but we must remind you that all of our lives, the pack's included, depend on your ability to keep our true identities secret. We have no desire to hurt Jacob and his brothers, but there are those of our kind whose duty it is to squash out anyone who betrays our secret. They would have mercy for neither our family, Jacob's, nor your own. We do not mean to alarm you, but we must do what we can to protect each other and ourselves. I'm sure you understand."

Olivia's face was grave but there was no uneasiness or hint of betrayal as she said, "I understand completely. Please do not be afraid that I will betray you. I would never do that to Jacob or Bella, and by extension, your family."

"Thank you," Carlisle said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We did not think that you would, but we had to remind you of the consequences all the same."

"I understand."

"Please feel free to come by any time to visit Bella. You are welcome here and have no reason to fear any of us."

Olivia smiled at him. "Thank you."

I followed Bella as she walked them to the door. I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead. For someone who had been so worried before, she had done so well. She looked up at me and smiled, her eyes peaceful.

"Bye," she said again to the departing couple. "Take care of each other."

"Thanks again," Olivia added before she got in the car. When Jake walked around to the other driver's side after holding Olivia's door open for her, he waved one last goodbye.

"Well?" I asked Bella as Jacob's car pulled away.

"I'm really glad they came. I feel a lot more peaceful than I did before."

"I can tell."

"Jasper?"

"No, just the look in your eyes. Honey, you were so amazing." I turned her body towards me, and leaning down, gave her one quiet, simple, lingering kiss.