Buck was still wiggling through the mass of slumbering bodies. "Wiggle wiggle wiggle!" he thought to himself with an air of seriousness. It was dark and hot in the pile of sleepy people crushing down on him. "My shoe has got to be around here somewhere!"

As he wiggled, he became increasingly thankful for his air of seriousness, in this otherwise airtight mass of cuddling. Pow! Distracted, he had bumped face first into his shoe, at full wiggling speed! With his shoe found, he turned around, so he could get out of this mound, and back on solid ground. He frowned. He had his shoe, but now it appeared that his other shoe had come off in the pile. He must have lost it on his way in. He wiggled back the way he came. About half way out, he found his shoe, and grabbed it. He was glad to have both of his shoes back, but now, both of his hands were full. His wiggling was about to get interesting.

His wiggling took on an almost sexual rhythm, and as he got closer to the exit, the sexiness increased. This gave the sleeping people around him some wonderful dreams, and most of them subconsciously forgave him for whatever he had done. By now, even you don't remember what he did. That's how good his wiggling got.

Buck emerged from the pile, and lay on the ground panting for a while. He stared up at the sky. He was free again. Once he got out of here, he would be safe. He walked over to the bush near where he had clubbed Preston in the tummy, and he retrieved his shoe that was hidden there. He put on his shoes, and began to jog Prestonward, to get his revenge.

Meanwhile, Preston, who was an invincible and incredibly powerful god, had just ended all wars forever. It would be the perfect time for shenanigans, if not for Quigley, who kept ruining his day. Preston turned to look at him. Quigley was doing a dance to celebrate the end of all war, and he was grinding against the wall hard enough to take the paint off. He paused when he saw Preston looking at him.

Preston didn't know whether to be mad at Quigley for nearly getting the country overrun by Soviet tanks and blimps, or thankful to him for being responsible for the end of all wars. Wait, Quigley shoved him and Shay! That was rude! Preston scowled at Quigley, who ran away, leaving a Quigley shaped puff of smoke where he had been standing.

Preston gave chase, and as he rounded the corner, he saw the Queen of England sprawled out on the floor. She had just been knocked over, and she looked mad.

"That man in the American flag cape just knocked me down, and spilled my tea!" she screamed. " I declare War on America!" but nothing happened. She looked around expectantly. "Where's the ominous music?" She demanded.

Preston, surprised, told her. "There are no more wars. We created peace by hitting the Czar of Russia in the head with a brick."

"Do you mean the USSR?" asked the Queen.

"Oh, right. It's 1994." said Preston.

"No." replied the Queen. "It is December 26th, 1991. This movie takes place in the past."

Preston blushed, "Oh, of course! Thank you, your honor."

The Queen, still enraged, shouted, "If I can't declare formal War anymore, I'll have to do it myself!" and she started striking Preston with her umbrella. "I'm going to hit you until we find that flag man!"

So they set off together to find Quigley and let the Queen hit him with her umbrella. After looking for a few minutes, they found Quigley hiding in the food court, pretending to be hamburgers. The Queen backed up a few paces, got a running start, and hit him with her umbrella so hard that he actually became a pile of hamburgers.

"YEEEEEHAAAWWWWW!" whooped the Queen.

"Do you feel better now?" asked Preston.

"I feel so alive!" she said. "It's time to dance!"

The intercoms crackled back to life and started playing "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, which had just come out. This was the best dance party that the Queen had ever had with Preston. As they danced, the Queen casually mentioned that England would not go to war with America, even if they were still able. It was a Boxing Day miracle!

Later, as Shay and Preston were leaving the airport to go home, they saw a big box wrapped up like a present. It had a tag on it that said, "For Preston". With all the excitement of the last few days, Preston had missed Christmas!

The box was heavy, but Preston picked it up and carried it as they jogged home.