Disclaimer: Yeah, don't own.
Chapter Twenty-one: Escalators and Elevators
"Another example of laziness?" Galahad asked. We were at the airport, standing in front of the escalator. The knights have been in the future for one and a half weeks. I have denied them the luxury of television, because I'm still trying to get over my stereo. Now, things were running smoothly…until now.
"That just cannot be safe." Gawain stated, looking at the ascending stairs. "Look even the railings move."
"It's not safe!" Lili cried, just now catching up with us. "It eats people! I've seen it happen! It almost got me once."
"Lili, is it better than a moving room?" I questioned.
"…and the germs." She gave an overly dramatic shudder. Lili has developed a way of playing up to the worst fears of someone not being used to technology. Like, when my brother was younger, he was playing with silly string, squishing it in his hand and such. She told him it was made of vomit and worm guts. Tragic, I know.
"Ok, go stand in the elevator, with other perspiring bodies and get a disease that way." I snapped.
"Or…we could take stairs that don't move." Dagonet suggested. I rubbed my temples.
"Fine, we'll do exactly that. We need to find a map."
"Tristan." Arthur commanded in the sly way of his and Tristan left. I sat on a bench, exasperated. Every now and then, they slip into knight mode. Tristan has to find shit, Arthur is still the leader, and if Bors doesn't understand, he destroys. They treated getting food at the grocery store like it was a search and rescue escapade. Normally, it would be funnier than hell, to send a scout to go find a map, which then he will probably read, then follow each other around banging coconuts together just like Monty Python, but my nerves were running thin. Lili complaining about Isobel, Isobel complaining about Lili, and Lancelot just complaining…period. In a way, The Once and Future King was right; Lancelot always finds something to complain about. In the books, it's about miracles and now it's McDonalds. Finally, Tristan came back.
"The floors move." He told Arthur. I let out a groan. I told him to come back with a map and he comes back with so called tragic news.
"Tristan," I said. "I asked for a map." He handed me a map. "Thank you." I looked at it briefly, while listening to the rest chatter.
"The floor moves? Are you sure?" Gawain asked. No hearable answer. "Why? Do some people not walk?" I pulled a pen out of my bag. I drew a path from where we were, to where we needed to be. I stood up.
"Ok. Here are the directions; we don't run into anything moving…except the plane." They all just stared at me.
"A big metallic dragon that you ride." Lili explained. Now they seemed to understand.
"Right, Arthur." I went to hand them the map.
"Tristan." Arthur commanded, yet again. I gave the map to Tristan. He stared at it awhile and folded it back up and handed it to Lili. He just stood there.
"That's not a real map." He stated. I just looked at him.
"What?" I whispered. I snatched the map back. "What do you mean?" I opened it, it looked normal.
"Oh, that side." He looked at it and started walking. I stood there dumbfounded, then quickly snapped out of it and went away with them.