Chris's Recap
"Last time, on Total Drama Zero Sum…
We had one great pirate themed challenge as we paired contestants off with each other and watched them battle for immunity! While some contestants managed to surpass the awkwardness of their pairing and work together, others had their ship sink, and the pair of Hubert and Oswald even almost ignored the challenge entirely to instead focus on beating down each other! In the end, despite Hubert's greatest efforts, Oswald as able to scrounge up another immunity win, this time for the both of them, and surprised everyone when he aligned with Hubert and Carys to vote Conlan, the Jack of All Trades, off of the island. Oswald has systematically backed Hubert and Carys into a corner, and with Conlan gone, those who can defeat him at this show's unique challenges seem to be few and far between. Not only that but this episode, the winner of immunity tonight will receive the honor of having the lone vote of the night! It's not going to be easy for any of them though, because tonight, the final 5's pasts are about to come back to haunt them! Who will quell these vengeful spirits and who is going to be spirited away from the competition? Find out right now, on Total Drama Zero Sum!"
*Total Drama Theme Song Plays*
Dear mom and dad I'm doing fine, you guys are on my mind
The camera zooms around all of the island before moving up and over Mt. Immolate, the volcano, before diving into the water.
You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see,
Carys is swimming after a school of piranha with a spear, but immediately stops short and begins to swim the other way as the piranha all die and begin to float towards the surface. Camera pans to reveal Alcott in the water, a visible stink around him. The piranha surface along with the smell to where Conlan and Rudo are rowing in the canoe.
I want to be famous
As Conlan and Rudo plug their noses and let go of the oars, a large octopus tentacle tosses the boat skyward, sending the two of them flying into the forest, where they land near Damon, who looks upset as a bunch of animals run away, he turns to Katelyn who is watching and gives a shrug. Katelyn turns away and makes a 'blech' motion. Meanwhile, the now capsized canoe floats by in a river. As the camera follows the capsized canoe, Artemis and Isaac are walking by. Isaac goes to set the canoe right again, but Artemis slaps his hand before he can walk away. Isaac turns to smile at Artemis, but she twists her head away, smacking him with her ponytail.
I want to live close to the sun
Eliana is tending to a nearby fire while Donovan jogs by. He waves to her, but she doesn't respond. Once he is just out of sight, she waves back at him without looking.
So pack your bags, 'cause I've already won
As Donovan jogs by Perci, who is gathering plants, he waves. As she waves back, he trips and stumbles down the mountain. Perci holds on to her sun hat with one hand and pulls the other up to her mouth in a concerned gasp.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I'll get there one day.
Donovan tumbles into the confessional booth, which opens up and Freya falls out, incredibly upset as her clothes are stained with the nail polish she was applying inside. Davon can be seen nearby as he takes a mirror that Freya dropped to preen himself and admire his reflection as the camera pans to the beach, where Liu-Ten and Nublina are sitting at a table near Chef, who has a tray of food with him.
'Cause I want to be famous
Chef puts down plates of food on a table with force, interrupting Liu-Ten and Nublina who are talking excitedly with each other. Meanwhile, Victor is crouched under the table, following a clue and looking for an immunity tiki.
Na na nananana nanananana na nanananana
Victor is about to leave when he sees a panther rush by, and cowers under the table instead. The camera follows the panther is it bounds around the island.
I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be famous
The camera pans back to reveal that the panther is actually being chased off by both Helen and Twilight, who upon becoming exhausted offer each other a handshake and a fist bump respectfully, creating an awkward situation where neither one of them is willing to change their mannerism, so they stop, stand around, and haphazardly kick some sand up which is then blown away by the wind.
I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be famous
The camera follows the sand to where Oswald and Melody are playing against each other in a game of checkers, and Melody has narrowed Oswald down to a single piece. Hubert then walks up, takes a look at the board, and takes Oswald's turn for him, winning the game, leaving Melody in an angry shock. She flips the board up and storms off. Oswald laughs heartily while the board falls from Hubert's face and he calmly adjusts his glasses.
As the rest of the cast is crowded around the Po'ino Bonfire, whistling the rest of the tune, Peter tips his hat up as he leans in toward Kaede, who blushes and smiles as she shies away, only to bump into Zastin, who drops a twenty sided die into the bonfire and the camera follows its flare upwards to the sky, where the title of the show 'Total Drama Zero Sum' appears on the screen, backdropped by the starry night sky.
Location: Merge Camp
Contestant(s): All Remaining
"Where the hell did you hide the charcoal?" Hubert confronted Oswald, who was busy eating a large breakfast prepared by Chef in his hot tub.
"It's my charcoal." Oswald rose a hand to his heart innocently. "I should be able to do as I please with it."
"This isn't fucking funny, asshat!" Carys walked up to the hot tub and reached for Oswald's tray of food as he leaned away, careful not to spill any of it. "The rest of us need that charcoal to power the grill, and Hubert also won immunity last challenge so you better tell us where you hid the fucking charcoal!"
"Ah-ah-ah, no interfering with the luxuries of other contestants." He taunted.
"You're forgetting that I won that Immunity as well." Hubert adjusted his glasses. "So I should be able to take the charcoal and use it as I wish as well."
"Fine…" Oswald sighed as he got out of the hot tub. "I've had enough food that I don't need to worry about how well fed the rest of you are anymore."
"Good." Hubert said as Oswald began to lead both him and Carys away from the camp. "And while your at it, give me back my regular pair of glasses. I'm not to big a fan of this spare pair I brought."
Confessional: Oswald
"Tsk….I really thought I had him cornered when I snatched those glasses…"
End Confessional
Confessional: Hubert
"Stealing the glasses wearing person's glasses is a cheap but effective strategy...if the glasses wearing person is a fucking idiot. I however, am a smart person, so I was never truly worried about something like that happening. Heck, I even have a few more spares, and there's always contacts if all else fails...but contacts are the Devil's product and I only use them when absolutely necessary."
End Confessional
"Kaede…" Zastin said as he approached Kaede's area of camp. "Can I talk to you for a bit?"
"S-sure…" Kaede sat up, somewhat confused. "But I don't think I can do much other than listen…"
"Listen Kaede, remember waaaaayyy back when I helped you get that Fire Immunity Tiki? I think I'd like to remind you that you promised we'd vote together in situations like these."
"Yeah…" Kaede frowned as she nodded. "I remember...but can we at least save Carys until after Oswald and Hubert are gone?"
"Fair enough." Zastin nodded. "Let's try to get Oswald out of here first though. As tempting as it is to try and recruit against the wonder pair over there, after having been on the same team as him, twice, I've come to the pretty sound conclusion that he's too untrustworthy to be a good choice of ally."
Confessional: Kaede
"So...it's the final 5...and I'm really scared because I'm the last Raging Flame left in the competition, and both the Violent Quakes and Screaming Winds have two contestants each! Hopefully no one besides me has noticed that, because the last time there was only one contestant from a team left, she was voted off, and kind of unceremoniously too...I just hope that when I'm eliminated, it's done fairly and honestly, and no one is mean to me when I have to leave…"
End Confessional
Confessional: Oswald
"The final 5. I can now count the amount of contestants left in this game on a single hand, which incidentally is all I'm going to be needing to win this game from here on out." Oswald snickers into the camera. "There's Kaede, who in all but her voting decisions is by far the most quiet and submissive, even without that helpful inferiority complex of hers. There's Zastin, who can barely run a couple yards before he's out of breath. There's Carys who tends to take everything incredibly seriously to the point that she sometimes forgets not everything she hears is completely true, and then there's Hubert, and as much as he fancies himself a mental threat in this competition, he's played directly into my hands time and again. I might as well just be handed my money right now. None of the others could possibly win against me."
End Confessional
Confessional: Carys
"I honestly didn't think I'd make it as far as I have. I'm in the final 5, and I'm so close to winning that money I can almost see myself on that winner's pedestal. However, it's not lost on me that I've been kept around time and again by my one alliance member. If I'm not mistaken, which I might be, but I'm pretty sure I'm not, I think we might be the longest lasting alliance in TD history...I certainly wasn't expecting to be a part of that. Hell, I still remember when I thought he was only trying to use me to further himself in the game...and then there's Kaede. I never thought I'd be friends with her either. I guess…" Carys thinks for a bit before looking into the camera. "I guess I'm happy that I was able to find a few good people here. There aren't too many where I live. I don't want to lose, but if I did, I would hope it's to either of them."
End Confessional
Confessional: Zastin
"For someone who exhausted his one skill of enthusiastic acting way back when there were still four teams, and has played into the hands of others just as often as he's come up with his own plans, I'm pretty proud to have made it this far. Coming into this game, my only real goal was to not be among the first voted out. I didn't think I'd make the merge, let alone the last five people left in the competition! I wish I could say that I knew the rest of the contestants here on a personal level, but the only one I could come close to claiming that for is Kaede, and even then I feel like i'd be stretching it. I'm also somewhat worried as for the past few eliminations, it's been people in my D&D alliance who have been getting the boot, and I'd be a natural next...that's why I need to make sure I win this upcoming immunity challenge. I need to eliminate Oswald before he finds a way to control my actions like he did with the Peter case. I didn't like that feeling and would rather not go through it again."
End Confessional
Confessional: Hubert
"Okay…" Hubert mumbles as he draws on the wall of the confessional outhouse. "If the challenge is something like this...then I could probably be able to do…no...NO! That's not sure enough a strategy!" He says, frustrated as he slouches in the seat with a stomp before looking into the camera. "I wish I could celebrate being in the final 5 but Chris has me worried as shit with the winner of this next challenge being able to decide who goes home with the single vote of the night. I've exhausted the Air Immunity Tiki, which means that if Oswald, Zastin, or Kaede manages to win, there's a large chance that Carys or I could be eliminated, and that would make life hell for the other one of us in the final 4 without an ally. We're so close. We're so close! But I need to find a surefire way to win to make sure we can keep getting closer, and so far, I've got nothing...It's like there's a gun on the ground and we're all rushing towards it at the same time, because we all want the single bullet inside to shoot someone else."
End Confessional
*BEEEEEP*
"Attention Final 5 contestants!" Chris announced over the loudspeakers. "Meet me at the Nui Kaua Docks! You all have some visitors, heh heh heh heh!"
"Well..." Zastin sighed as Hubert and Carys returned with handfuls of charcoal. "That laugh is ominous…"
"And we were finally about to eat breakfast too…" Hubert grumbled as he put the charcoal under the grill.
Location: Nui Kaua Docks
Contestant(s): All Remaining
"Final 5…" Chris grinned. "This challenge is one that will last through the entire day. You'll be sent to Kokoke-"
"Kokoke again?" Carys sighed. "You just sent us there!"
"Would you let me finish?" Chris snapped. "This challenge is way different than last week's okay? So zip it!"
Carys crossed her arms as she waited for Chris to continue to speak.
"You'll be sent to Kokoke, where you will follow a customized map to a campsite made just for you, where you'll be forced to spend the night. Then, the next morning, you'll head back here, and the first contestant back wins immunity."
"This sounds exactly like the camping challenge from Season 1, Episode 6." Hubert sighed.
Confessional: Hubert
"Incidentally it's one of my sister's favorite episodes, so I've been forced to watch it a baker's dozen of times."
End Confessional
"Sure…" Chris shrugged. "But I hate to be too repetitive, so this time we'll be adding a special rule. I'd hate to send the five of you all out on your lonesome, so Chef and I have handpicked the previously eliminated contestants who will give you the most trouble completing your objective, and not only will you have to deal with them the whole time, you don't get your immunity until they decide you deserve it. So even if one of you comes back here first, if your eliminated partner is still spiteful, you won't be getting that immunity!"
Confessional: Hubert
"Alright, Chris, color me impressed. You've taken one of the least challenging challenges and made it one of the most challenging. Good on you. Plus, I like to think of myself as capable of righting any wrongs I make, so it shouldn't be too hard for me…"
End Confessional
"Now…" Chris grinned as a boat pulled up to the dock. "Let's introduce you all to you all to the ghosts of your past! First, for Hubert…"
With a grumble and a click of her heels, Katelyn stepped off the boat first. She gave Hubert a death glare.
"We had agreed upon Helen, you backstabbing little *BEEEEP*"
"Oh you've got to be kidding me…" Hubert sighed as Katelyn continued to cuss him out for her blindside.
Confessional: Katelyn: Hubert's Judge
"I saw the episode where I was eliminated. I know that Hubert and Carys both decided to eliminate me even though we were supposed to keep the team together! I should have been in the merge too! I totally would have been, for sure, but they had to vote me out! And what was even lamer is the fact that they never allied with Helen after that! Wasn't that the plan, you four-eyed freak? Good luck winning your immunity now! *hmph*"
End Confessional
"For…" Chris looked at the other 4 contestants. "For Zastin…"
With a similar grumble, and a quick raspberry at Chris, Artemis exited the boat.
She gave Zastin a glare. "Betraying me like that, and making me eat that disgusting food? I can't believe I ever thought you might have not been the biggest loser ever."
Confessional: Artemis: Zastin's Judge
"Look, I was totally set to go to the merge of this show, and if it was any other contest for the tiebreaker I would totally have beaten that nerd loser Zastin, and I'd be in the final 5 right now, but he just had to vote against me to create a tie and then eat that gross eyeball...He's the reason why I can't win the million. Needless to say, he isn't getting my approval easily, and I plan to make him work for it!"
End Confessional
"I have a few questions." Zastin turned to Chris as he rose his hand. "Does she realize that she betrayed me as well, I wasn't the one making her eat the fish, that her guilt trip doesn't exactly work when her best opinion of me is 'not the worst', and finally, why didn't you bring Peter back for me?"
"Allow me to ignore all your questions about Artemis." Chris smiled. "However, the reason you don't have Peter is because Peter...goes to Kaede!"
"W-what?" Kaede's eyes widened.
"'Sup babe?" Peter smirked as he stepped off the boat, with a new fedora and new tweed jacket. "I hope ya' didn't miss me too bad out 'ere."
"Chris, she's gonna cry!" Carys motioned to a tearing up Kaede who quickly rushed up to Peter and hugged him.
"I thought….I thought- I'm sorrrrryyyy!" She sobbed into his jacket.
"Hey, hey it's all good. It wasn't your fault. It was the damn Quakes that did it, not you. Hell you saved me from elimination da episode prior by giving me dat Fire Tiki o' yours." Peter attempted to comfort her.
Confessional: Peter: Kaede's Judge
"I was told to come back because Kaede was in da' final 5 and needed a contestant to make da' challenge difficult for her, an' I wondered why I would be da' best choice for dat. I mean, I want my girl Kaede to win this sch'bang! I wouldn't refuse immunity to her...but man...during dat hug on da docks...she didn't want to let go, man. I think hostman Chris might actually be Satan or somethin' bro."
End Confessional
Confessional: Chris
"We chose Peter for Kaede because well, for one, we were having trouble finding people Kaede had wronged in any way shape or form, but we also knew that if we brought someone she really liked back, it would be incentive for her to take as long as possible to complete the challenge, because the quicker she completes it, the less time she has with Peter. Heh heh, I love being the host of these things!"
End Confessional
"For our next victim...Carys…" Chris grinned as he turned back to the vote. "Come on out!"
With powerful steps, Isaac walked onto the dock.
"But...I don't think I ever even talked to you."
"It matters not what you said or didn't say to me." Isaac announced. "I was asked by Chris to come back and judge the actions of a remaining contestant during a camping challenge so I obliged. I will be monitoring your work ethic as well as you manners and sportsmanship."
"You're kidding right?" Carys asked Chris as she gestured to Isaac. "Him? He's got no vendetta against me or anything. You couldn't have brought, I dunno, Helen back?"
"Ahem." Isaac cleared his throat as he stood in front of Carys. "Talking back to the host of the show is disobeying just authority, and the fact that you are displeased with my company and choose not to confront me about your problems directly but instead complain to the host about it show an unwillingness to fairly observe all options before you. We are not off to a good start, Miss Leville."
"You told this creep my last name too?!" Carys rose her voice.
"And that's another two points off, shouting at a superior, and insulting another who is present. I can hardly call you deserving of immunity if this is your behavior."
"Ohmygodjustshutupalready…" Artemis groaned.
"Ah, Artemis, I see you are still as immature as you were back when your jealous vote against me caused my elimination." Isaac greeted Artemis. "However, I must say that you look and sound just as beautiful as ever, and I do not hold any of your actions that might have caused my downfall against you, as you are, after all, only human."
Confessional: Isaac: Carys's Judge
"I've had a good time to think since my elimination, and I've also had the chance to see a lot of the footage of the game since I've been eliminated. I am not proud with the way I presented myself in the end. I know in my heart of hearts that Artemis is a good person deep down, but she was by no means the player I made her out to be. More than anything, we both owe Kaede an apology, for going after her when she was only trying to keep Artemis from gaining individual immunity at the expense of the team I honestly should have realized sooner."
End Confessional
"And finally...Oswald…" Chris grinned. "I think we all know who you've gotten."
As she stepped off the boat, looked around at the final 5 contestants and their judges, and locked eyes with Oswald himself, Melody gave a very coy grin.
"And this, Oswald…" She chimed sweetly. "Is the end of it."
Oswald's own smirk faded from his face.
Confessional: Oswald
"This...this is bad."
End Confessional
Confessional: Melody: Oswald's Judge
"Since my bullshit loss against Mr. 'I never said I would vote for Carys', I've been reviewing all the footage of every moment of the season…" Melody smirks into the camera. "And I learned that Oswald had planned to be the one to get rid of me for a very long time! Well, you know what they say...revenge is a dish best served cold, and if there's one thing I can do better than just about anyone else...it's get my revenge!"
End Confessional
Challenge: Contestants and their judges will be sent to Kokoke Island, where they will follow a map to get to a campsite designed specifically for them, where they must spend the night. The first camper to make it back to Nui Kaua in the morning will win Immunity, provided their judge allows them to accept it.
Judges:
Carys's Judge: Isaac
Hubert's Judge: Katelyn
Kaede's Judge: Peter
Oswald's Judge: Melody
Zastin's Judge: Artemis
Location: Hubert's Campsite
Contestant(s): Hubert (Katelyn judging)
"How much loongerrrr…?" Katelyn whined as Hubert led her to the area of Kokoke where his campsite was located.
"We should be there at any minute now." He informed her.
"That's what you said 5 minutes ago though…" Katelyn continued to complain.
Hubert took in a large breath, and let out a very slow exhale.
Confessional: Hubert
"This is going to be a long challenge for me, isn't it?"
End Confessional
As the pair finally did reach Hubert's assigned campsite, Hubert's eyes widened.
"I-In there?" He looked at the map in disbelief as it seemed to lead him into a very narrow cave in the forest.
"Ewwww…" Katelyn recoiled. "In a cave? That's super gross. I'm not doing that."
"Of course it's been designed to help Katelyn give me shit." Hubert sighed under his breath. "Come on." he told her. "We need to go in there. It's where the tent is located."
"Um, excuse you, I'm not going in there." Katelyn pointed at the small cave. "It looks all dark and wet and creepy...Would a bed be too much to ask?"
"Given that this is a camping challenge, yes it would." Hubert answered bluntly. "Now get in the cave."
"No! You make me go in there and I make sure that you don't win immunity." Katelyn huffed as she crossed her arms.
Confessional: Hubert
"She's an even bigger brat than Artemis was back during the scavenger hunt challenge! How did she manage to last as long as she did?...How did either of them manage to last that long, actually?"
End Confessional
Hubert sighed. "I guess I have no choice but to leave you outside with all the late-night predators that prowl the island. But I'll be sure to let you in if you'd rather be safe." He nonchalantly mentioned as he headed into the cave.
Katelyn waited outside for a few more minutes, but after hearing the 'hooo' of an owl, she decided that perhaps the camp in the small cave was better after all.
Confessional: Hubert
"As far as I'm aware, there are no animals that might eat humans on Kokoke, so I guess you could call it a strategic lie to get Katelyn into the camp. The biggest problem now is figuring out how to let her give me immunity, but I'll deal with that after we arrive back at Nui Kaua first. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll have a change of heart beforehand…
…
What am I saying? Of course she won't."
End Confessional
Location: Zastin's Campsite
Contestant(s): Zastin (Artemis judging)
"And you're fat too! Did I mention I hate you?" Artemis asked as she and Zastin arrived at his campsite in the middle of a valley.
"You've mentioned both my weight and your hatred for me multiple times." Zastin grumbled.
Confessional: Zastin
"How does Isaac put up with this kind of abuse? How did Hubert put up with this kind of abuse during the tiki scavenger hunt challenge? What besides gross food is this girl's weakness?"
End Confessional
"Yeah, and you know what else?" Artemis asked. "I hope that whoever wins immunity votes you off next! Don't get started on that campfire while I'm insulting you! Take your verbal beatdown like the man you won't ever become!"
"Okay...that's it." Zastin tossed the kindling he was setting down aside at stood back up to face Artemis.
"You know what your problem is Artemis? Your problem is that you confuse what you want with what is the right thing to do, and you act like a complete and utter bitch when someone says or does something that doesn't jive with your worldview, expecting them to change to suit your behavior. It was why you accidentally voted off Isaac after we lost the trust challenge, it's why Oswald had such an easy time manipulating you, and most importantly, it's why you're so hostile towards me right now. You're jealous because I understand the concept of moderation, or doing things you may not want to do in order to further what you believe is a worthy goal. You weren't the first person I quote on quote betrayed, but you were definitely the most deserving of it. Someone as selfish and imbecilic as you is not the kind of person I would want to hand a million dollars to. I honestly would rather the money go to someone like Oswald than you, because while he is almost certainly planning to be selfish with it if he wins, at least Oswald would be smart about how he spent it."
"Well you can kiss your immunity goodbye then!" Artemis retorted. "You're supposed to be nice to me to win this challenge."
"No. I'm supposed to convince you that I deserve immunity, and I'll complete the challenge even if I have to carry you as you struggle against me."
"Well then, you'll have to carry me back in the morning." Artemis huffed. "Because I'm not going to give you immunity. Ever."
Confessional: Zastin
"So...I might have just totally blown this challenge...but it felt so good to tell Artemis off like that. I regret nothing."
End Confessional
Location: Carys's Campsite
Contestant(s): Carys (Isaac judging)
"I regret everything…" Carys grumbled as Isaac cheerily led her to their camp atop a small hill.
"Never fear, Carys!" Isaac announced. "For we have arrived at our destination. Returning to camp shall be easy once morning comes. All you have to do until then is behave yourself!"
"It's kind of hard to do that when you seem to take points off for almost everything I say." Carys crossed her arms. "You know I need the money right? And if I'm voted out this challenge, I'll be blaming you."
"That's some more points off right there." Isaac pointed at Carys. "Trying to guilt trip the judge and then threatening him in the next statement."
Confessional: Carys
"Nnggaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Carys seems ready to pull out her hair with how frustrated she is with Isaac's judging method.
End Confessional
"Listen here, you superhero wannabe!" She snapped at Isaac as she grabbed him by his collar. "Oswald, a contestant who stands against everything you believe in, is still in this game, and he's trying his damndest to get me eliminated from it! I've been lucky enough to have been saved multiple times by my b- by my friend, but the special twist this challenge is that the contestant who wins immunity is the only one who gets to cast a vote at the Po'ino Bonfire Elimination Ceremony tonight! Needless to say, I don't want it to be me, and I plan to eliminate the one evil contestant left in this game should I win! Now you can stand there and complain about me being 'mean to you' or you can help me take that fucker down and actually be the hero you think you are! What's your answer, super soldier?"
"My answer is that I need some time to sleep on this…" Isaac said as he got into the tent that had been set out for the two of them. "I will inform you of the decision I have reached come morning. For now, I suggest you get as much rest as you can, as we have a long ways to go to reach the mainland tomorrow."
Confessional: Carys
"Oh my goodness, that man is the most insufferable person I've ever had to put up with. I understand his heart is in the right place, I really do, but he's just so...bossy…"
"Heh heh…" Chris can be heard commenting through a speaker in the confessional. "Kind of reminds you of someone doesn't it?"
"Oh, can it, McLean." Carys rolled her eyes.
End Confessional
Location: Kaede's Campsite
Contestant(s): Kaede (Peter judging)
"Woah, dis here crib is fine!" Peter exclaimed as he and Kaede arrived at their campsite on the beach. "Plus we're nice an' close to the mainland. We have dis challenge in da' bag! We'll be done lickity split!"
"U-um…" Kaede looked around nervously. "Y-yeah….I...I g-guess so…"
Confessional: Kaede
"Ohhh...but the sooner I complete the challenge, the sooner Peter has to leave again! And...I...I don't want him to leave yet… Maybe I can try pretending to sleep in? Would that work? I don't think I'll be the one to go home today...I'm not exactly on anyone's immediate radar. I wouldn't mind being last back. I just want some time with Peter...But he really seems to want me to win immunity…oh, what do I do?"
End Confessional
"Yo, Kaede, you okay, babe?" Peter asked. "You look all torn up 'bout somethin."
"I-I'm fine...it's nothing…" Kaede did pull off a very convincing lie, but Peter continued to look around the campsite as though she had anyways.
"I'm not sure why you're acting like you're talkin' to a ghost, babe." He said. "I ain't dead or nothin'. It's not like you'll never see me again after this. I've already reached out to yer big sis ya' know. Went an' got her permission to keep datin' you an' everything. Please don' act like you're not allowed to enjoy this moment aight, babe?"
Kaede gave a nervous giggle.
"A-alright…" She smiled meekly.
Confessional: Kaede
"How am I supposed to tell him that the more he makes me happy like that, the less I want to complete this challenge? I knew...I knew that the final 5 would be really hard, and I knew that this particular challenge was going to be a hard one too. I mean, they're always hard, but I knew anything Chris would award solo voting rights to would be the hardest one, or at least among them...but I never expected it to tear at my heart like this…This is...This is cruel and unusual punishment..." Kaede sighs and mopes for a while, unaware that a fedora glided by outside the stall.
End Confessional
Location: Oswald's Campsite
Contestant(s): Oswald (Melody judging)
"And here we are…" Oswald said as he and Melody arrived at his assigned campsite, a rather elegant one overlooking a somewhat mystical looking lake in the middle of the forest.
"The view sure is beautiful." He observed. "Almost as beautiful as you are, Melody."
"Nice try." Melody grinned as she sat down in the tent. "But you aren't exactly going to butter me up enough to give you immunity with words as meaningless as those."
"I'm not hunh?" Oswald shrugged as he also sat back inside the tent.
Confessional: Oswald
"In that case, allow me to try a bit harder. Melody is a beautiful girl after all, and it would be a terrible idea to waste such a romantic venue on anything besides wooing the girl who thinks herself not woo-able. I've gotten her to blush before, and that's enough. Thank you for giving me such a pleasurable campsite, Chris. It was of great help to me! Now...time to win over my long-time enemy."
End Confessional
"Melody, do you know why I voted against you when I did?" Oswald asked.
"Oh, this should be good." Melody crossed her legs and leaned forward to hear Oswald's excuse for eliminating her.
"It's because…" Oswald leaned in towards her with a confident grin. "I knew that if I didn't do it then, you would win. You are a strong, smart, incredibly beautiful woman who knew that it was only a matter of time before you had me wrapped around your finger. You'd have defeated Carys in the tiebreaker, we could have forced Hubert to join us and after getting rid of Conlan, we'd have blindsided him or at least tricked him into playing the last tiki, and then you'd use this very challenge to get rid of me, and you'd go on to win immunity for the rest of the challenges, because there was no way anyone left would have been able to stop you. Melody, you were on the fast track to winning, and if I did absolutely nothing, I'd fall victim to your mesmerizing beauty. You truly are the most deserving of a spot in the final two, and I promise that if I do get my immunity, I'll share my million with you, the woman of my dreams."
"Of your dreams?" Melody was taken off guard by the compliment and blushed.
"Of course you are." Oswald grinned. "There is nothing sexier than a girl who knows what she wants and takes it by any means necessary. Melody, I've fallen in love with you."
"I- I'm not sure what to think about that…" Melody gave a shy smile. "I came here to get my revenge on you but...ugh, why are you so charming? I can't get your cute face out of my head!"
"You don't need to, Melody." Oswald smiled. "Let it stay there! We, together, have made one of the most memorable seasons in Total Drama history, my love."
"I'm still...not quite sure how to feel about that…" Melody continued to give a friendly smile as Oswald leaned in towards her.
"Well, how do you feel about this?" He asked as he pressed his lips up to hers in a tender kiss.
Melody's eyes shot wide open at first, but almost immediately afterword, she gave in to her temptations and returned Oswald's kiss back to him, pulling his head closer to her as she slipped some tongue into it.
As they pulled away from each other, Oswald and Melody exchanged coy smiles.
"It felt good to finally do that, huh?" Oswald grinned.
"Oh, you have no idea." Melody grinned back. "And who said I was done with you yet? Come here my king of lies." She beckoned him back to her and the two continued to make out with each other.
"Mmm…you're so evil, I love it…" Oswald said in between the kisses.
"When you...Mmm...betrayed Freya back in Episode 3 of this season…" Melody responded. "I knew I...Mm...I wanted you then…"
"I loved your...Mmm...ruthless and forced elimination of...mmm...Liu-Ten and Twilight…" Oswald continued.
The two continued to make out with each other and compliment their evil actions throughout the game for a long while, until they had exhausted themselves and fallen asleep.
Confessional: Oswald
"Ahahahahahaaa..Aha! Hahahahaaaaa *cough*, oh...oh man...I've done it! I've tamed Melody Rest! That immunity and single vote is as good as mine! Ahahahaaaaa *cough*...oh man, I need to stop laughing so hard. Maybe I should get some water or something…"
End Confessional
*The Next Morning*
Location: Kokoke Island
Contestant(s): All Remaining(And their judges)
"You ready to head back to the mainland, my future millionaire?" Melody asked as she exited the tent to find Oswald gulping down some water from the lake that he had boiled over the fire and cooled off.
"Mmhmm." Oswald grinned. "Super ready."
"You'll have to beat the two of us then, assholes!" Carys said as she rushed by them, followed by Isaac.
"Carys, I would largely refrain from name calling, even if the competition deserves it! It's very unsportsmanlike!" He called up to her.
"Oh, we aren't going to lose to fishing spear bitch." Melody grabbed Oswald's hand and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Come on babe, let's go!"
"Quick, run run run!" Carys announced to Isaac as both of them as well as a quickly catching up Oswald and Melody ran passed Zastin and Artemis in the valley, as well as Hubert and Katelyn's small cave.
"Welp, I guess it's now or never!" Zastin noted as he lifted up Artemis.
"Eeeeep! Put me down!" She began to struggle, but Zastin endured her kicks and punches as he headed towards the beach.
"Ready to get off this island?" Hubert asked Katelyn.
"Yes!" Katelyn responded. "I am so ready! Go go! Get us out of here!"
As the remaining contestants all made their way to the beach, they noticed that Peter and Kaede had already taken off in their designated boat.
"See ya, suckers!" Peter called out. "But Kaede an' I gonna win dis one!"
"Oh no, I refuse to lose to that bitch again." Artemis grumbled. "Zastin, you want your immunity? Beat those two to the island, and make me seem cool while doing it!"
"If it's Kaede, I don't mind her winning immunity." Zastin shrugged as he got in his boat and began to row leisurely. "Because while this concept might be new to you, she happens to be a friend of mine."
"Peter...I really don't know how I feel about this…" Kaede said as she saw Nui Kaua coming into view. "I don't want you to leave again!"
"Kaede, I'll be back again!" Peter exclaimed. "I'd like to stay for the rest of the game too, but there are certain rules keeping me in this large place with all the rest of the show's losing contestants. We'll all be back for da' finale, so can you at least wait until then? Stop acting like I'll stop existing if I leave da' show! I've missed you just as much this whole time too you know! And are you aware how bad it feels to watch the footage of the show and see your girlfriend acting like she's mourning your death?"
"Ohmygoodness, Peter I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean-"
"Don't apologize for it, babe!" Peter pinched his nose. "Where is all that confidence you had during the basketball challenge?"
"U-um…" Kaede blushed. "Maybe I need it returned to me?"
"Damn, you're smoother than you think you are, babe." Peter grinned as he leaned in to kiss Kaede, before both of them were shoved into the water.
"Gahh!" Kaede wrapped her arms around the boat as Peter also surfaced, and the two looked up to see Melody and Oswald grinning as they passed them.
"I-I- I'm s- sooo s-s-sorry!" Oswald mocked Kaede "But I can't let someone as easily controlled as you get that lone vote!" Melody quickly kissed him on his cheek before the two began to laugh.
"Hahahahaha *cough*" Oswald held up a hand. "*cough*cough*cough*"
"Oswald, maybe you should give your voice a rest honey…" Melody said. "You don't know what might have been in that lake water you drank."
Oswald nodded, believing it to be a good idea.
"You wanna make out until we get to the island so you can forget about it?"
Oswald grinned and nodded as he pulled Melody in closer to him, believing it to be a better idea.
"Come on, Isaac, row!" Carys announced. "We need to pass those two!"
She looked back and both Zastin's and Hubert's boats which were far too behind to arrive at the island first at this point.
Confessional: Carys
"Come on you big lug, I know you have muscles! Use them!"
End Confessional
"Oswald and Melody are in the lead!" Chris announced.
"But Carys and Isaac are catching up quick! It could be anyone's game but the first player to reach the island is…
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… Oswald!" Chris announced. "Oswald and Melody reach the island first! Carys and Isaac are second!"
"Don't worry." Isaac nodded to Carys. "I'll give you immunity and the vote if Melody refuses Oswald. You might be hard to work with and somewhat bossy, but your heart is in the right place."
Chris snickered as he heard the conversation in the background, and Carys quickly flipped him off.
"Oswald…" Chris greeted an Oswald who let out a silent cough. "You've made it to the main island before anyone else, which can earn you immunity, but only if Melody authorizes it." He turned to Melody. "Do you believe Oswald has earned immunity today?"
"Chris…" Melody looked around as the final contestants managed to make their way to the main island.
"I very much believe…
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That Oswald…
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… is in fact deserving of immunity." She quickly kissed his cheek in the exact spot she had kissed it earlier as an imprint of her lipstick was still there.
Confessional: Carys
"Oh…"
Confessional: Hubert
"Shit…"
End Confessionals
Location: Po'ino Bonfire Ceremony
Contestant(s): All Remaining, (And their judges)
"Welcome, final 5…" Chris grinned as Carys, Hubert, Kaede, and Zastin all sat down extremely worried for each other and themselves while a silently coughing Oswald sat down with what would be a smirk on his face if he could ever bring his hand away from his mouth for more than a few seconds.
"As the winner of immunity…" Chris tossed Oswald a tiki. "Oswald gets the lone vote of the night. Oswald, come on up here."
Oswald nodded and came up to Chris.
"Here is how this is going to work, Oswald." Chris explained. "You're going to think for a while about who you want to eliminate, and when you decide, you're going to point to them. That person will then be forced to walk the coals of shame."
Oswald grinned as he looked around at the four other contestants.
He coughed as he began to slowly bring his finger up, and then he coughed again and stopped to make sure he had a good control on his breath before beginning the process over again.
He began to slowly bring his finger up and once again erupted into a fit of coughing.
This time however…
It wasn't stopping.
Oswald quickly brought both of his hands up to his neck to create the universal sign for choking and continuously gestured as such.
"He's pointing to himself!" Melody piped up from her seat. "He's pointing to himself! He's gesturing to himself!"
Oswald shook his head rapidly and rushed towards the voting area, as he hastily scribbled down a name, his coughing/choking fit increased and he stumbled backwards towards the bonfire.
"Someone stop him before he walks into the fire!" Chris announced and Hubert and Peter quickly stopped Oswald from entering the inferno.
"Chef!" Chris called. "Take a look at this kid!"
Chef walked up in a nurse's uniform.
"Open your mouth boy." He announced.
Still choking and coughing and struggling, Oswald feverishly shook his head.
"Open. Your. Mouth. Boy!" Chef forced open Oswald's mouth as Peter and Hubert kept him from retaliating.
"What's going on in there?" Hubert asked. "Is he okay?"
"Kid's got a case of the most swollen tonsils I've ever seen. Not to mention the rest of his throat. The medical tent isn't equipped for something this serious. We're gonna have to medically evacuate him."
He turned to Oswald. "Sorry kid, it looks like your game ends here."
Oswald's eyes widened and even began to tear up as he struggled in vain against Chef who led him over the Coals of Shame. "Sorry kid. You need a real doctor, not a reality show's crew."
"Ho-ho-ho-hoooly crap!" Chris put his hands to his head. "I was not expecting that to happen!"
"I guess we'll never know what was in that lake water." Melody shrugged.
Confessional: Melody: Oswald's Judge
Melody wipes off her lipstick thoroughly before looking into the camera with an undoubtedly evil grin. "Of course, nothing was in the lake water. And I also wasn't fooled a single bit by Oswald's remarks of affection. I instead pretended to play right into his trap, act like the giggling girl he wanted me to be, and gave him exactly what he wanted. Unfortunately for him, I had seen the earlier episodes. So I knew what would happen if say, he frenched a girl wearing a couple coats of honey-flavored lipstick, nice and heavy on beeswax." She adopts a serious expression and looks into the camera. "Oswald, when I say something isn't over...I mean it...and while you might be the King of Lies...I am the Queen of Treason. So as your judge, I feel obligated to say to you, 'Congratulations. You. Place. Fifth. Bitch.'"
End Confessional
"Well...with that medical evacuation, and no one left with a vote to cast…" Chris shrugged. "I guess we have our final four! Carys, Hubert, Kaede, Zastin! Congratulations! Head back to camp and get some rest. You're all safe...For now."
Carys, Kaede, and Zastin all headed back towards camp, but Hubert remained.
"Chris...I'd like to take a look at what Oswald wrote down before you burn it, is that alright?"
"I don't see why not." Chris shrugged with a grin. "But once you see it, you can't un-see it, and are you sure you want to take that risk?"
"I am." Hubert nodded. "I'm curious as to what he was thinking in his last moments on the show."
"Then knock yourself out."
Hubert looked at what Oswald had written down.
"Huh." He said with relatively little emotion, before handing the vote to Chris. "Thanks for letting me see it."
"Any reactions?" Chris asked.
"No, it's about what I expected. I'm satisfied."
"And so am I!" Chris turned into the camera facing him. "That pain in my ass is finally gone and we're oh so close to the end of this long competition! Carys and Hubert, Kaede and Zastin, only three of these four will make it to the penultimate challenge! Which way will the tides turn for our two pairs of unlikely allies? Find out next time on…
Total!
Drama!
Zero Sum!"
*An Update: Oswald was taken to a hospital where he received a tonsillectomy. He has since recovered from his allergic reactions, but his throat was still sore and voice somewhat lost at press time, and he will not be able to give a proper final confessional, though he did make it known that had he not encountered this problem, he believes he would have won the game*
The Vote(for those who are curious)
Oswald attempted to vote for...Hubert(due to certain circumstances, the vote does not count)