Once again, I apologize for the long wait. My grandfather was sent to the hospital again, which is really taking its toll on my grandmother. Anyways, I typed this up in like fifteen minutes because I wanted to get something out before I go to England for a few weeks so its not betaed or anything.

Thanks again to my faithful reviewers, it really is nice to see that some people appreciate this story.

Very slight reference to HBP ahead.

Chapter twenty one- These Dreams part two

Darian woke up early Saturday morning. He found himself heading toward the library, hoping to find it devoid of life though when he spotted Hermione seated in the Potion's section, he found he wasn't nearly as disappointed as he thought he would be.

"Morning," he greeted tiredly.

Hermione jumped, nearly upsetting her inkbottle in the process. "Oh, hi Darian," she said breathlessly. "No one is usually up this early."

"Yeah, I know," Darian said, sliding into the chair beside her. "That's why I came."

He scanned the books that were piled in front of him. "Potions?"

"Yeah," Hermione said reluctantly. "Your dad is giving more assignments lately then he has in the past five years and most of them can't be found in any of these books!" She smiled as he flinched at the title. "How is he anyway?"

Darian shrugged, not knowing what she expected him to say.

"He seems a bit preoccupied lately," Hermione continued, sifting through a thick looking tomb. "I was wondering if it had anything to do with your lessons."

Darian laughed weakly. "Not everything in his life has to do with me, Hermione."

Hermione arched an eyebrow. "Really," she stated dully. "Then I suppose you don't realize how his mood always seems to depend on your well-being?"

Darian stared at her, recalling all the times that his father had been in a particularly foul mood. A tiny flutter of hope blossomed within his heart but he forcefully squashed it.

"It could be the Order," he said quietly. "Or Voldemort, or his classes-"

"You do realize you're just grasping for straws, don't you?" Hermione said, grinning broadly, proud to have been proven right.

"Look," Darian said shakily. "He may not hate me anymore, but…"

"He's looked rather tired lately," Hermione interrupted, smiling shyly at him. "Have your lessons been going well?"

Darian released a frustrated sigh, feeling that it was useless to try to talk down Hermione Granger. "I can't clear my mind enough for Occlumency," he murmured reluctantly before shaking his head. "Not that I'd know the progress I've been doing now. He's canceled the last few sessions."

"I'm sure he's just got a lot on his mind, and don't worry, you'll get it eventually."

Darian frowned disbelievingly but said nothing.

"Are you sure he's-"

"Have your finished Professor Lupin's essay yet?" he changed the subject hastily.

Hermione looked at him oddly. "Of course," she said finally.

"I was having trouble comparing the difference between a banshee and a poltergeist," he took out his half-finished essay (one foot long) and looked at her expectantly.

"What about Potions?"

"It's not due for another three days," Darian answered nonchalantly. "I'm almost done anyway, and by the looks of it, so are you."

Hermione folded her arms importantly. "Now Darian Snape, you know perfectly well the difference between a poltergeist and a banshee!"

Darian smiled. "I do," he said smoothly. "But I still wouldn't mind you lecturing me on them?" he asked suggestively.

Hermione snorted. "As long as you don't fall asleep…."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Severus, my boy, if I could have a word?" Dumbledore stepped in front of the pensive Potion's Master before he could leave the Great Hall at lunch.

"If you would be so kind to make it quick, Albus, I do have some important business to attend to," Severus said bitingly.

Dumbledore shook his head. "I am simply concerned about you, Severus; the whole staff is."

Snape scowled, obviously displeased of the idea that the entire staff was conversing about his health. "I would appreciate it if you would kindly keep your nose out of my-"

"And I would appreciate it if you would listen to me for once, Severus Snape," Dumbledore interrupted in a surprisingly icy voice. "You have bags under your eyes, you are getting thinner, and you have not been this grouchy since before you found out about Darian," Dumbledore continued, throwing a piercing stare at the man.

Snape bit back a nasty retort and decided to remain silent.

"I know you haven't made any attempt to stop those dreams, Severus, or else you would be getting more sleep," Dumbledore said softly, his blue eyes staring up at the man in concern. "If you continue on like this then you will find yourself living in a world of delusions, both in dreams and reality."

Severus glared at the man before snapping waspishly, "And what if I don't want these dreams to stop, Albus? What if these dreams are becoming a sort of release for me?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Severus, you cannot continue to live like this."

"Why not?" Severus snapped, his dark eyes flashing. "I know the difference between dreams and reality, Albus, I'm not mental."

"But if you continue to live your life solely for these dreams then you will find yourself living a life of delusions," Dumbledore reasoned gently. "You don't seem to realize how dangerous this could be. Despite how much more time you try to spend sleeping, these dreams are preventing you from having a healthy sleep."

Snape drew himself up to full height, sending a smoldering glare down at the older man. "I am starting to believe that you just don't want me to be happy," he spat furiously.

"Severus!" Dumbledore admonished. "Listen to yourself! You are living only to experience memories from a world that never happened. A world, Severus, that can never be no matter how much we wish it! It is already started to eat away at you."

"And how is that, Albus?" Severus asked coldly.

Dumbledore's blue eyes resembled chips of ice and despite his smaller size, his gave off an aura that far surpassed the taller man's. "You have already missed two of Darian's lessons, Severus. You are brushing off your son so you can spend your time sleeping in hopes of seeing a son that is not yours! Darian, this Darian is your son, not the ones that you dream about. This Darian has so much more strengths then them, Severus, and yet you fail to see the talents that your son in this universe possesses." He paused for a moment, shaking his silvery head. "You are missing him, Severus. By the time you realize that the son you long for the most is right in front of you, it's going to be too late."

Severus clenched his right fist in silent fury, hating how the headmaster's words echoed through his head with such truth that he couldn't even come up with a valid retort.

"Christmas holidays are coming up in a month," Dumbledore told him, having calmed down. "Take your son to the Snape manor and celebrate with him. He has never had a real Christmas. Give him that chance, Severus."

"He does not wish to go with me," Severus said instantly.

"Have you asked?" Dumbledore questioned evenly.

Snape opened his mouth and closed it, avoiding the headmaster's eyes.

"Severus, you and Darian were getting along so well before you started to have these dreams. Please, don't take away the chance for him to have a family when he needs it so desperately," Dumbledore pleaded.

The older man stared down at his unconvinced colleague before adding, "And don't give him another reason to end his life, Severus." With that, he turned and walked out of sight, leaving a very pale Potion's Master in his wake.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Lily!" Severus shouted as he stepped through the front door and entered the Grimmauld Place. "Lils, you here?"

He entered the kitchen to find his wife seated among the dozens of other Order members. Beside her was James Potter, a tense, distraught look on his boyish face that told Severus instantly that there was something very wrong. The instant he entered, all conversation stopped and every eye settled on him.

"Severus," Albus Dumbledore greeted softly from the head of the table. "It is good to see you safe."

Lily looked up from where she had been staring down at her hands, her glazed eyes gazing at him as if she had never seen him before. With a choked sob, Lily stood and crossed the room, throwing her arms around him.

Severus awkwardly held a sobbing Lily to his shoulder, unsure what to make of the ashen faces around him.

"I th-thought y-you were….d-dead!" Lily cried, clutching him to her as if he were sand threatening to fall through her fingers.

Severus frowned, looking from the mass of curly red hair that was currently clinging to his left shoulder, to Albus Dumbledore's troubled eyes. "What happened?" he asked slowly, wearily, almost not even wanting to know what had caused such a reaction from the Order and his wife.

"There was an attack on Diagon Alley," Dumbledore told him quietly. "You were not caught up in it?"

Severus shook his head. He had left earlier that day to attend an assembly the Minister of Magic had called for in Diagon Alley. He hadn't, however stayed for only a few minutes before heading to the Apothecary to pick up some potion's ingredients before leaving.

"It took quite a while to get through the crowd to the Apothecary," he said, addressing the whole of the Order. "After realizing that they didn't have a specific ingredient I needed, I left to go to Hogsmeade instead."

Dumbledore seated himself at the front of the table again. "Have a seat," he commanded gently.

Severus carefully untangled Lily from his arms, who seemed reluctant to let him go, gently coaxing her into a chair before taking the seat on the other side of her, keeping her hand held firmly within his as he stared attentively at Albus.

"It was mass chaos," Dumbledore informed him solemnly. "There were at least fifty of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters as well as Lord Voldemort himself and……" he trailed off uncertainly, raising his wizened eyes to stare into Severus's.

"And?" Severus asked impatiently, his heart racing. 'Oh, God, please no, please…..'

Albus looked at him sadly before saying quietly, "The Half-Blood Prince."
Severus felt his heart turn to ice and Lily gave a loud, rasping sob, dissolving into tears once more. Severus continued to stare blankly at the old man. He felt numb, oddly separated from those who were shifting uncomfortably around him.
"What…" he paused to clear the rising lump in his throat. "What did he do?"

Dumbledore stared at the couple mournfully, hating how their lives had turned around so quickly, all because of the sole child that had created together. He shuddered slightly, wondering how on earth two wonderful people such as Lily and Severus could have made a demon such as their son together.

"Killed the Minister," Mad-Eyed Moody interrupted gruffly, his magically eye staring fiercely at Severus. "Tortured wizards, witches, and children alike. Especially the children, the damn bastard's always favored the screams of children as you all…"

"SHUT UP!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs, sending her chair flying as she leapt out of it. "Don't you dare-! Don't you dare call Darian a bastard!"

"Lily," Dumbledore said gently, also standing. "You know what he's done…" he trailed off as the redhead burst into hysterical tears once again, and glanced over at Severus, who had his face buried in his hands.

"I know! I know!" Lily sobbed, sinking back into her chair. "I just….just…why! Why? What did we do wrong?" she gasped, her shoulder trembling.

Severus slowly lifted his head to meet his mentor's blue gaze. He knew the answer to his wife's question just as she did: there simply was no reason. He closed his eyes and thought back to when he had just found out about Lily's pregnancy, how happy the two of them had been at the prospect of becoming parents. And when Darian had finally arrived, his head already full of silky black hair and his blue-green eyes bright with life……

Severus tried not to think that in a mere sixteen years, that baby had turned out to be a cold-blooded murderer; the heir of Slytherin; the Half-Blood Prince; Lord Voldemort's most trusted and loyal Death Eater. The single question had ringed through Severus's mind ever since his son's betrayal when Darian had been entering his fourth year: Why?

Lily and he had always loved their son more then anything else in the world; they still did despite all that he had done. Severus had realized that something was happening with Darian in the boy's third year, when his son had suddenly became so distant, rarely speaking to his parents or even his best friend, Hermione Granger.

Darian had started to hang around with Draco Malfoy and though it was completely out of character for the boy, Severus had let him be, thinking that it was just a teenage stage. However, at the beginning of Darian's fourth year, his son's friendship with Miss Granger had abruptly ended after he had loudly accused her of 'Polluting Hogwarts with her mudblood filth.' Unfortunately, neither Severus nor Lily had heard of the incident until Darian had ran away from school by portkey a few days later, leaving the message:

'The Dark Lord has risen again. Enemies of the heir, beware,' written clearly in blood red letters. Below the message had been Darian's insignia, along with his famous nickname: the Half-Blood Prince, which he had created at age eleven, using Severus's mother's maiden name, Prince.

The first three weeks after Darian's disappearance, Severus and Lily had repeatedly convinced themselves that Darian had merely been captured and impersonated, until he had been revealed as Lord Voldemort's Heir when the Death Eaters had attacked Godric's Hollow. And his son, his own flesh and blood had cast the Cruciatus on he, Severus, before continuing on to fire his first 'Avada Kedavra' at Peter Pettigrew.

'If only I had done something,' Severus thought to himself, a burning sensation creeping up behind his eyes, recalling the darkness that had shadowed his son's once vibrant green eyes. 'If only I had talked to him, or demanded that he stay away from Malfoy.' Severus clenched his eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to shut out the rising image of an eleven year old Darian, grinning proudly as he presented the recently caught golden snitch to his mother and father….

'If only…'

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Severus shot awake with such force that he felt his neck creak. He sat in his bed, simply staring blankly at the ceiling as he tried to collect his thoughts.

'Darian,' he thought almost longingly as his son's face from his dream flashed before his eyes and though Darian hadn't actually been in his dream, he could still see the monster his son had turned out to be.

What had happened to the boy in that world? He had parents who loved him, so why would he even think about joining the Dark Lord? The darkness in Darian's eyes was palpable, a darkness that shadowed the boy's eyes in this universe.

Severus suppressed a shiver at the thought of his Darian sacrificing his life to the Dark Lord. He felt an odd sense of pride that his son hadn't given into the darkness like the other Darian had, despite that fact that his Darian had been through so much more then his counterpart had.

'This Darian has so much more strength then them,' Dumbledore's words echoed through his head and he swallowed guiltily, knowing what the old man said was true.

'But do I care if my Darian is stronger then them? I would have Lily and a son that I had raised,' Severus pondered on this thought and shook his head. He couldn't take this anymore. These dreams were killing him.

'But am I willing to give them up?'

Severus grew cold at thought of never seeing Lily again, even in his dreams. Of never seeing how innocent Darian could have been……. He couldn't give his dreams up; they were his life, his fantasy.

'If you continue on like this then you will find yourself living in a world of delusions, both in dreams and reality.'

Severus shook his head. He wouldn't give up these dreams. They were just a temporary release, nothing he couldn't handle.

'I can control them.'