Author's Note: Well, I know it's been quite some time since an update. I apologize. It seems life intends to give me more challenges and lessons every time I think I've passed over one or conquered another. Rest assured, my legal issues are at least solved. I didn't end up in jail, or secretly abducted and shot as I was worried may actually happen for a little while. I will reveal however, that blackmail and bribes are real things that don't just happen in movies as I originally thought. By the way NEVER take a bribe. Ever. Seriously. It doesn't make it go away.
I also managed to find a part-time job. But I lost the unemployment. So now I'm making far less working than I ever did unemployed. I'll spare you the details. Just know that life is still throwing me curve ball after curve ball and I need to deal with them as they come, which is why my writing speed as dropped dramatically. Please be patient. I won't ever stop writing as I promised in previous chapters.
So this next chapter at least is a nice long length, and as always, anything in bold is being spoken in Japanese.
~Spotofpaint
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It had taken the secret service doctor two hours to make the normally forty-five minute drive. But simply listening to the cries of the winter storm outside was enough of an explanation. Jackie had reached his own conclusions in that time about the things he had felt and said to the downed, raven-haired man. He was curious to see if the doctor came up with similar conclusions. But first thing was first.
Jackie shut the door behind the middle-aged woman. She was wearing a thick coat, which was blanketed in white flakes. She immediately shrugged it off within the blink of an eye. She thrust the garment into Jackie's unprepared hands, causing him to fumble with the garment.
"Where's the patient?" Her cool blue eyes looked around the living room frantically. It was a life or death call after all, and so she was expecting the worst. Jackie, somewhat back to his usual self, calmly hung up her coat on the coat rack. When he didn't answer her immediately, the doctor whirled on him.
"Agent Lee! Where's the patient?" He calmly lifted his large callused hands and made a respectful 'shh' motion with his dark fingers.
"He's upstairs with Light. They're both sleeping." The doctor looked shocked. Her head actually jerked back with surprise, her light-blue eyes widened with both anger and indignation.
"Excuse me? Sleeping? Is there not someone dying on the premises? Because I didn't just risk my life in that deadly snow storm to drive all the way out here, through the ice and the wind and the God knows what else to hear you tell me that they're well enough to be sleeping comfortably in their beds!" She was angry, of course. Livid actually, because all she said was most certainly true. But there was also a bit of her that was seriously relived. No doctor wanted to deal with a life and death situation. It was better for the patient to be well enough to recover on their own. But still, it didn't change the two hours of utter fear she'd felt. She didn't want to know what the secret service would do, what Quillish Whammy would do if the infamous L died on her watch.
"It's ok Doctor Sheldon. L's still in great need of your assistance. But I think things are a little more complicated than we originally thought." Doctor Sheldon gazed at Jackie thoughtfully. The two had chatted a couple of times in the hallways back at base, but neither had yet to become more than acquaintances. Still, Sheldon felt certain that she knew enough about Jackie to know that he normally didn't say things like that. He was very uncomplicated; on the surface at least. And Doctor Sheldon saw him making things very simple for the people around him. There had been plenty of occasions when a coworker had come to him with what seemed like a complicated matter, and he would give them only a few words of advice. Jackie Lee was an agent who took situations and somehow made them easy. To hear him say something was complicated seemed strange to her.
She took just a few seconds to smooth out her white lab coat. She'd gotten into the car straight from work, so hadn't had the opportunity to change. She seemed frazzled and ragged, and rightfully so. Her long, wavy, fiery hair was tied back into a low ponytail. A few strands of the orange escaped it. Painfully Irish, she also had an array of freckles across her nose. She was easily described as pretty and even young looking.
She hardly ever looked her age of forty-five. Jackie estimated thirty-six when they'd first met. But now at least, her age was showing. The deep lines beneath her eyes told Jackie just how frightened she'd really been while she'd been alone in her car, surrounded by the deadly promises of a winter storm. Lady winter, unable to harass the innocents in the Yagami house, had undoubtedly attacked Doctor Sheldon's car instead.
"Ok Jackie, do you want to explain to me what's going on, or shall I take a look at my patient before he dies?" She was usually almost always, just as brisk as she was currently, and she was always sarcastic; especially so tonight. But again, Jackie couldn't blame her. She was pulling a double shift. It was almost midnight. And she had to be back at work the next day too. Jackie shook his head lightly.
"I think you'll understand more once you see your patient. I didn't want to delay you, just let you know that he's not dying." Sheldon rolled her eyes.
"Gee thanks agent Lee, but I think I'll take all the medical responsibilities from here." Jackie didn't take her temper to heart. In fact, he seemed as stoic as ever. "Is he upstairs?" Jackie simply nodded. Doctor Sheldon briskly turned and headed for the second level, not even bothering to take in the surroundings of the very nicely furnished first floor. If Light had been downstairs and entertaining guests as he usually did, he would have been offended that his interior decorating skills had been so discarded. Jackie followed the doctor upstairs.
When Doctor Sheldon reached the top landing, she didn't even bother asking Jackie which room they were in. She simply flung open the nearest door, discovering the empty guest room first. She then slammed the door shut and marched down the hall to the next door. This was the correct one, and she flung it open just as briskly as the last door.
Inside, Light Yagami bolted upright in bed, completely and utterly startled. He stared with wide caramel eyes at the intruding doctor. Jackie was slightly amused to see one piece of hair sticking almost straight up as a result of bed head. But he gave no indication to his amusement.
"Light Yagami, I'm Doctor Sheldon," she introduced. She had already begun to walk over briskly, hand outstretched when Light began scrambling out of the king-sized bed. His right foot got caught in the sheets for just a second, but then he pulled free and scrambled the rest of the distance to the doctor.
"Thank God you're here!" He grabbed her offered hand with both of his, then shook vigorously. "He hasn't woken up yet!" Doctor Sheldon didn't waste time. She ripped her hand away from Light and took her kit over to L's bedside. Rounding the bed, she began situating herself beside him. Plopping her white, hard plastic, case on the clean nightstand, she flipped the latches and popped it open. Inside was an assortment of tools. She started with one of the most basic, taking her stethoscope and hanging it around her neck. She also grabbed her blood pressure cuff.
Sheldon went through the usual routine that any practicing doctor was well familiar with. L's blood pressure was a little low. But according to all of his medical files which had been transferred over to her, this was usual for the small man. He was borderline anemic. It was nothing to worry about. She also checked his heart. The rhythm was good. It was rather slow, but that was only because he was resting. She pried open the sleeping man's eyes next, shining a light in them. L didn't wake when she did so. But Doctor Sheldon was at least happy with the results in this area.
After checking a number of other symptoms and usual signs, all checking normal, she stood back up straight. She packed a lot of the instruments she'd just used into her bag, then withdrew a needle and syringe. After carefully finding the vein she wanted, she drew some blood. L didn't wake for this either.
Then, carefully, she unwrapped the bandages Jackie and Light had put on their sleeping charge. She took a good look at L's scrapes and cuts, but none were serious, and the Neosporin that was put on them should have been enough for recovery. There really weren't any real injuries on him. A bad bump was on his head from where it'd hit the hallway floor, but even that had already stopped swelling.
After her entire physical was complete, Doctor Sheldon stood back up, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Hm." Light gazed at her expectantly, his skin still pale from the entire ordeal and his normally cool eyes wide.
"Hm?" he questioned. "What does that mean? What is it?" Doctor Sheldon put one hand to her chin where it rested. Her cool blue eyes stayed on the downed ex-detective.
"Well, as far as I can tell, there's nothing physically wrong with him," she said. "But…Jackie explained to me when I first received the call, what you two believe to have taken place. I really don't think I believe it myself. But I do know that agent Lee isn't one to make up stories. Especially not ones as farfetched as ghosts and possessions. So…obviously…something traumatic did happen. Whether it's demons or not isn't important. What is important is that because I cannot find any real physical injuries, I'm going to have to suggest that L's condition is purely psychological."
Light didn't seem happy about this answer. Not at all. In fact, his worried and expectant face quickly transformed. It tightened, its usual lines of anger appearing at the corners of his mouth and eyes.
"Excuse me doctor," he said, his tones crisp and short. "But I don't care whether you believe us or not. You better damn well work on the assumption that our story is accurate! Whatever happened to Lawliet wasn't psychological. He was attacked! Attacked by Kira! Maybe it's not your area of expertise, but I'd appreciate it if you could look outside the box for a few minutes and check Lawliet out again for something that's wrong with him! Kira did something to him!" Doctor Sheldon wasn't fazed at all by Light's anger or his threatening tones. In fact, she hardly seemed impressed. Her cool blue eyes remained as cool as their coloring as she gazed at Lawliet's worried love.
"I wouldn't underestimate psychology," she said. "The mind is a very powerful thing Light Yagami. You of all people should understand this. And especially in someone like L, whose mind is capable of almost anything, I would say he's more susceptible to psychological issues than most. His files even read so. He's already had plenty of psychological imperfections.
All I'm suggesting right now, is that he's traumatized. It doesn't mean your story isn't true. And it really doesn't matter if it is or not. Lawliet is suffering from the effects of this attack up here," she pointed to her head, tapping her clear fingernail against her red locks. "It's clearly not physical. But the power of stress can do more damage than a lot of physical blows. His body's shut itself down so that he doesn't have to deal with the turmoil and emotions this episode has put him through. He's protecting himself. He was probably terrified, and this is how he's dealing with it."
Light seemed to calm down after the explanation. His tense face slowly loosened. The doctor's explanation was acceptable. He sighed heavily, his shoulder's sagging. He was exhausted. But the night was still not yet over. The wind whipped by the corner of their cozy house, shrieking as it did so to the life inside. Light glanced woefully to his unconscious love, placing a worried hand to his forehead.
"Wh…what do we do?"
"Our services also have a psychologist on staff. I'll call him and leave him a message. He can come over tomorrow and check L out. He'll be able to help bring L out of his trauma induced state and also help him to recover from this episode."
"Um, Doctor Sheldon," came a soft, low voice. Both the doctor and Light turned to face Jackie, who'd been consistently quite the entire time. "Doctor Sheldon," he said again. "Although I agree that Lawliet was traumatized by the ordeal, I do not believe that is the end to his problems. Earlier on, Light and I were convinced that he was dying. He looked like it. It…it's hard to explain. But…I believe it was something more serious. I have to agree with Light when he said that Kira did something to L. I…I saw it…"
Doctor Sheldon's eyes widened when she heard Jackie stutter, heard the crack in his voice. They widened even further when she saw Jackie's large, dark, body tremble. Whatever had happened at the Halloween party…was enough to scare this usually unmovable man. Although she didn't know him personally, she'd heard plenty of stories from other agents at the secret service to know that Jackie had faced life and death situations many times before. He'd been involved in drug busts, gun fights, and hostage situations. And he'd always done it all appearing as if he were a stone. Whether or not he was actually afraid was uncertain, but what was certain was that he never appeared so. But this time, he was unmistakably afraid. And if a man like Jackie Lee believed this was a demons doing…
"Trauma is probably a part of it, yes, but…I felt earlier…that perhaps…the biggest problem was…with his heart," he said. Doctor Sheldon contemplated it for a second, but slowly shook her head.
"I checked his heart. It's beating regularly. It sounded fine."
"No…" Jackie walked over slowly from the doorway where he'd been standing. He came to the side of the bed where both the doctor and Light stood. He leaned over L, a small, thin man who, appearance wise, was the exact opposite of his bodyguard. Jackie slowly and carefully raised a hand, then gently lay it on top of L's chest.
"Here," he said. "When you pointed to your head earlier and said there was a problem there, you didn't mean his brain. I'm talking about the same thing. The problem is here. But it isn't physical." Doctor Sheldon seemed confused. She was a scientist after all. Even Light was having trouble catching on.
"You mean emotionally? Isn't that the same thing as psychological?" Jackie shook his head.
"No. I…I'm having trouble explaining. But I felt it earlier." A deep red color suddenly came to the dark man's cheeks. He was very embarrassed about the things he was saying and the things he was about to suggest. "If this is a demon we're dealing with, and if this demon was inside L and did something to him, then…then…this issue isn't psychological…it's spiritual."
Doctor Sheldon and Light both gaped at him. Jackie slowly removed his hand from L's chest. He stood up tall and turned to face the two stunned people in the bedroom. Jackie's face was dead serious. And Doctor Sheldon knew very well that Jackie would have never joked about something like that in a hundred years. Still, it was a shock to hear. She had never heard Jackie speak about the supernatural before. He never even mentioned what religion he belonged to, if any. Both pairs of eyes, blue and caramel continued to gape.
"Y…you mean…this is supernatural?" Jackie nodded slowly.
"I think it would be best…if perhaps we contacted the local priest or pastor instead of a psychologist." Light shook his head in disbelief. Religion was something he had never been involved with in all his life. He had never gone to church. He'd never read a Bible or even taken any classes on Christianity at all with exception of history class. And here Jackie was saying…
"Wait," Light said, lifting a hand. "There's so many religions in the world, why pick a priest?" Jackie seemed amused by Light's answer.
"You're in a small upstate New York town, Light. Good luck finding a Buddhist temple or some monks." Light's face quickly grew warm. Jackie of course was right, and Light should have known as much. The only religious branches available to them were forms of Christianity, or Judaism. Nothing else was in the little town. And Light was painfully aware that the majority of the towns people all visited the same few handful of churches every Sunday.
Still feeling uneasy, and not exactly knowing why, Light tried to analyze the situation. It made sense to try and combat a demon with whatever opposite it had. The opposite of a demon would be an angel, right? And if a demon existed, then angel's had to also. If they were going to accept supernatural things, they would have to accept all supernatural things. They couldn't limit themselves to one thing and not another. Logic argued that if Kira was real, which Light could never doubt again, then so where angels. And if demons were real, then so was the devil. And if the devil was real, and so were demons and angels, then God had to be real too. Whatever form or name he may take, there had to be some form of higher power.
Light scoffed bitterly. He hated the idea. He'd never had a problem with other people believing such things, but he himself never wanted to. He was a firm believer of being in charge of his own destiny. His decisions were his own, and his own alone. He picked his own path. No one was guiding him; that he felt sure of. Besides, if a God like that were real, wouldn't He have done something to prevent Kira from coming to earth and wreaking such havoc? Why would he just sit back and watch? Why would he let Lawliet get hurt like this?
Light fumed. He felt he was only getting angry. And his turmoil and swirling thoughts were painfully obvious to both Sheldon and Jackie.
"Light," Sheldon said. "As a doctor…I can actually agree with what Jackie has said. If this so called demon is real, and you accept that it's real, then you should also accept the other aspects of the supernatural. You don't need to kill yourself over all the questions this raises. Just focus on the fact that a preacher may be able to help."
"We have nothing to lose," Jackie added. "If it doesn't work, then no harm will befall Lawliet because of it. And even if I'm wrong and it is only psychological, perhaps having someone come to the house will make Lawliet feel better. If he believes in it even a little, even if it isn't true, it will help him."
Light sighed. It seemed hard. But what they were saying made sense. He didn't need to believe in it. There was no risk involved. But it still felt so awkward. Why exactly? He didn't know. But he did know that there could be no harm. If nothing happened, then nothing happened, just as Jackie said. Light slowly righted himself, and turned to face the others. Grimly, he nodded.
"Ok…let's try that in the morning."
Unexpectedly, and without warning, there was a sudden groan from the bed. It was soft, almost inaudible. Doctor Sheldon and Jackie hadn't even been sure they'd heard anything, but Light reacted immediately. He whirled away from the pair he'd just been conversing with and bolted back to Lawliet's bedside. He fell to his knees in an instant, reaching out and gripping L's limp pale hand with both of his own.
"Lawli? Lawliet? Lawli?" Light squeezed the poor thin hand, crushing the bones of his stricken lover together. L's face immediately tensed with pain, wrinkles embeded themselves around his eyes and mouth. He rolled his head to the side to let it rest on the pillow, and then his dark rimmed eyes fluttered open slowly. The dark orbs beneath focused drowsily on his partner.
"I know Raito was worried but…Raito doesn't need to hurt me…" Light blinked letting out a small 'ah,' then he quickly and immediately released L's hand. It flopped back down to the mattress like dead weight. Doctor Sheldon and Jackie hurried to gather at the other side of the bed when they saw that L was awake and talking. Before either of them had a chance to say or do anything, Light had gotten up off of the floor and had crawled up onto the bed with L. He sat on its edge on his knees, leaning over his love with an expression of worry that could put a puppy to shame.
"Lawliet! How do you feel? Are you ok?" L gazed at Light with a bit of haze to his expression. How do I feel? He looked away from Light, and he hadn't even bothered to meet Jackie or the doctor's eyes yet. He instead focused on something that seemed far away; his dark eyes only somewhat present. He was feeling a deep array of things. The most prominent of these emotions was fear. He was afraid. Afraid of Kira. Afraid of the terrifying new possibilities that Kira's physical manifestation suggested. If demons were real…what could they do? What could they possibly do? It was over. They couldn't ever hope to win against such a thing, such power. He was terrified. And more over, he felt wounded. That pain he experienced when Kira had been inside…had not fully vanished. The intensity of it had ebbed a bit, yes, but it was still there. Like his insides had been twisted, or soiled. He felt almost like something was rotting inside. It felt…black. It seemed like a silly description, one couldn't feel a color…but he just had no idea how to describe such a thing. He didn't know what had happened to him, or what was wrong. All he knew for certain was…
"…it still…hurts…" Light watched in utter and complete dismay as the eyes he loved so much, the ones he was used to seeing crinkle shut in joy, instead filled with more pain. L's dark brow furrowed together, wrinkles seemingly making permanent residence in his forehead. His dark eyes became glossy as even more tears started to spill out of them. L turned away from Jackie and doctor Sheldon, curling up on his side as if he'd been struck in his abdomen. His thick, dark hair covered his face like ink. And just as he had before in the car, he began to tremble.
Light's heart pounded. It ripped itself in two. No…it shredded itself into tissue paper. No…better yet, it felt as if it had been ripped out of his chest and had been thrown down onto cement, and now it was being crushed into the concrete by someone's heel. No…even that could not compare the feeling he suffered from. Light could not explain the pain he was in at watching L suffer even after it was all over. The pain at not being able to do anything, help in anyway, was insufferable. He was helpless. Light knew there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. No words of comfort would work. Not this time.
Jackie glanced Doctor Sheldon's way. She lifted her head and their eyes met. Both wore chiseled expressions. Finally, Doctor Sheldon gave a curt nod. She believed Jackie now. This was L after all. The infamous L. He may have changed from what he once was, he may have become 'soft' as many described, but Sheldon knew plenty well that L wasn't crazy. Despite what some believed…L had never been crazy. He was smart, a genius. And he was tough to boot. He may have been a little…strange, he may have had a few oddities and minor afflictions, but he wasn't insane. He wouldn't say he was suffering, he wouldn't cry in front of strangers…unless it was something excruciatingly unbearable. Psychological or spiritual…whatever the cause…something was harming L.
CRASH!
Everyone in the room jumped in alarm as suddenly the bedroom door was flung open, swinging violently into the opposite wall. When they turned to see what the ruckus was, they found James. He stood in the doorway, looking as if he'd literally been dragged through Hell and back again. He was soaking wet, probably from the snow storm. His usually thick dark hair was matted against his ice, white, skin. He looked half frozen. Ice was caked on his heavy wooden coat, and more disturbingly, so was blood. The dark red liquid seemed to have frozen in splotches to the front and side of his body. The man was breathing heavily, gasping for air. Clearly he'd just worked very hard at something. His usual cheer was nowhere to be found. He looked haggard, exhausted, and his eyes were haunted.
"James…" the soft, worried voice had come from Jackie. But his partner had only the time to take one step, before Light had launched himself at the weary man. There had been no time to act, and no one had been expecting it as Light raced forward, reeled back his fist and crunched it into James's face.
"Light!"
James crumpled almost immediately to the floor, his knees giving way. He fell to his side, a huge crash of his body hitting the floor resonated through the house. Light was not done. He leapt on top of the fallen man, grabbing him by his collar. He yanked his head up off the floor, making him face him. Light trembled in a rage, his face tense with fire and grief. His deadly eyes glimmered with the same tears as his partners.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he screamed. "You were supposed to be guarding him! You were his bodyguard! His protector! I thought you were his friend too! Isn't Quillish Whammy paying you shit loads of money to take care of him? To watch him? Aren't you being paid more money than you could ever hope to spend? Are you in the secret service or what? You're highly trained! You're a professional! What the fuck were you doing?" Light shook him violently. James didn't resist. And when Light's tears fell on him, his own started to form. When Light drew back his fist and hit him a second time, he simply took it without complaint.
"I hate you!" Light suddenly screamed in Japanese. "I hate you! Why? Why did this happen? Why is Lawliet always a victim? What did he do? Why didn't you save him! You were supposed to protect him while I was gone!" He hit him a third time, then a fourth. He went to raise his hand a fifth time, and that was when Jackie was able to reach him. He grabbed his fist, halting it in midair.
"Light! Stop it!" Light continued to tremble and seethe, hot air rushing in and out from between clenched teeth. He just couldn't take anymore. Luckily, Jackie was large enough to put a stop to the situation. He simply wrapped his huge arms around the small Japanese man, and then he lifted him clear up off of James. Jackie put him back down onto his feet, then released him.
Light didn't go after James again. But this didn't seem to satisfy Jackie, whose face was for once, very readable. He was angry. And very disappointed.
"And they say you're a genius. How disgraceful! Did you stop to think about what James has been through tonight for one second? Do you have any idea what he's gone through to protect you and L?" Light remained silent. His chin dipped ever so slightly as he gasped for air. He knew he'd overreacted…but still…
"While we were all inside a warm, dry, safe house, James was dealing with the cleanup! He had to take care of the body by himself! He had to contact head quarters and report all that has happened! He had to follow whatever orders they gave him! I don't know what the orders were just yet, but I betchya anything they told him to get rid of the body! And we're thorough Light Yagami! He probably had to burn it, or chop Greg up into little pieces! Then he had to go back to the town hall and clean up that office hallway! Then he had to cover everyone's tracks for the night! Yours, mine, L's, his own, and anyone else who was involved! He probably had to talk to a bunch of the guests and make sure no one heard or saw anything! He may have even had to cancel that party and lock down the building!
James's a good man! He doesn't do any of this for money! He does it because it's right! I used to be like him once! I know how he is! He's in this job because he's nothing like me! He's in this job because he cares! He cares about you and L! And this is how you repay him?" Light's chin fell even further. His auburn hair fell across his brow, clearly showing that he was ashamed of how he acted. James, shaking, pushed himself up into a sitting position. He wiped at his bleeding lip with the back of his hand, smearing blood across his cheek instead of cleaning it away.
"…i…it…it's ok Jackie. He's upset for good cause. I…I couldn't…Greg…I tried to stop him…but I…"
"Don't you dare defend him! You did your best! No one could have been trained enough, or prepared enough for what happened tonight! No one could have expected a supernatural attack from a demon or whatever the hell Kira is. You did a good job James!" James wiped at his face a second time, this way to clear away the water in his eyes. Clearly, it'd been a hard night for everyone.
"That Greg guy…he just disappeared you know. I was following him through the crowd to go kick him out, and then he just…I dunno. I lost sight of him. I…I'm usually so good at tailing. It's one of my specialties."
"It's ok." Jackie walked over to his downed partner. Once standing over him, he held out an offered hand. James stared up at his large, dark, partner. Then he smiled in a strained way.
"I never thought you'd start being nice to me. I guess I did finally do something right." He reached out, taking his hand and Jackie lifted James to his feet with ease. Then he slapped him on the back, causing the smaller man to stumble from his ordeals.
"Why don't you get cleaned up. We can't do anything until the morning."
"That's not true," this came from Light, who seemed to have finally recovered from the shock of his shame. He faced the others. "In small towns like this, preachers are always on call. They're like doctors, aren't they? They come for emergencies. And I think this qualifies as one."
"Preacher?" Both James and L asked the question in unison. After all, neither had been informed of the new plan.
"Yes. We think Kira did something to Lawliet. Jackie suggested we get the help of a preacher. I guess to…uh…I dunno. Pray over him or something?" James was looking interested, but a little confused.
"Well what do you mean did something?" Everyone was quiet at that. No one was really sure after all. They all glanced to one another awkwardly.
"Well…uh…"
"He came inside of me…" It was L's soft voice that broke the air. He carefully pushed himself up off of the mattress where he'd been laying. He looked like he were having a hard time, as if he were terribly weak. But still, he managed. Gently, he lay back against his pillow and headboard so that he was sitting up. Still curled slightly, he rested his hands on his shins. He faced James and the others.
"Kira…Kira forced his way inside. I don't understand…I don't understand how he was doing it but…he was killing me from the inside out." L sighed, his eyelids drooping. Clearly, it wasn't easy for him to admit to others that he didn't understand something. "I suppose…I hardly know anything about these matters, about…spiritual matters. But it feels…it feels to me like…like he has damaged something. Something important…inside of me." James blinked in a way that suggested he was a little confused about why this was hard for everyone else to understand. He very clearly had the answer and it was easy for him.
"You mean your soul." He said it in such a simple way that all of the realists, scientists, doctors and detectives in the room who always had relied on physical evidence, things they could prove, facts and data, were left baffled. They gaped at him. James wiped at his bleeding lip once more, then smiled at the group in something close to amusement.
"Don't tell me that none of you believe in the human soul." All four gazed up at the ceiling, or off to the side to contemplate the question. The silence that followed was deafening. James, despite his horrendous condition and his clearly weary, exhausted state, laughed out loud.
"You should see the four of you! All with the same expression on!" James seemed to know exactly what to do. He stepped over to L's bedside and up beside Light. Coming up to L's pillow, James suddenly reached out and put a hand on L's shoulder. L instinctively flinched, only because the person touching him wasn't Light and touch was still hard at times. Especially times when he felt he was injured or hurt in some way. But…it had the desired effect. It caused L to lift his eyes and look directly at James face. James…who was still smiling despite all the horror he'd witnessed that evening, despite the pain he must have been in from Light's attack, despite the emotional turmoil he clearly had felt just a moment ago, found the strength to support other.
"You'll be fine L." L blinked, his dark eyes clearly confused.
"Wh…what…ho…how…?"
"You'll be fine," James repeated. "I know you aren't religious, but you don't have to be for these things to work. It's really very simple: nothing on this earth can ever take or harm your soul permanently unless you allow it to. You have to give it up willingly. You clearly fought very hard for it tonight, against something really powerful."
L still looked a little baffled, but he tried to follow James train of thought. He processed what he was saying, his dark eyes shifted furiously in his head.
" Y…you're saying…the thing that is damaged right now is my soul? And you're saying…that Kira…Kira can't harm us…unless we…allow him too?"
"No. You're close though." L looked back to James and realized then that James was trying to explain these spiritual things to him as if he were a child. L frowned. He didn't like being spoken to in such a way. Yet at the same time…he felt like a child.
"Kira can hurt you, physically, but your soul is something he can't touch if you don't want him to. All you have to do in that area is deny him. When he was possessing you tonight, how did you escape?" L stared up at James. It was as if James already knew the answer. Maybe he did. Clearly, he understood things that no one else in the room was able to.
"I…I didn't escape. I didn't do anything special. He just…he just left me. All on his own."
"No. Surely not," James said immediately. "He wanted to kill you, right? You said he was inside of you, that he was killing you from the inside out, that he was damaging something important inside. I doubt he would have stopped on his own if he could have killed you."
L agreed. Kira never would have stopped. He very clearly wanted him dead. He'd wanted him to suffer. And if what James was saying was accurate…then…Kira had been trying to steal his soul? It sounded so absurd. L wasn't even sure why he was playing along. Perhaps because…he couldn't find another explanation.
It was then that L remembered. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned a bright red color. He looked away from James, embarrassed. James only smiled.
"You asked for help from someone, didn't you? Even if you weren't sure you believed in it, or that it could ever work." L nodded curtly. Light's eyes widened with surprise. "It's that easy sometimes." L faced James then, quickly and unexpectantly, his face full of desperation.
"Then why do I still feel this way? Like a chunk of me is missing? If Kira couldn't succeed, then why does it hurt so much?"
"For the same reason anything hurts. You were attacked, viciously, L. By a demon. By a specific demon that you fear the most out of everything else on this planet. You were brutally invaded. You're hurting in the same way other people on this planet hurt when they feel heartache, when someone dies, if they've been wronged or abandoned. You're hurting because Kira failed. You still have your soul. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt, because you'd be dead." L looked away then, his dark eyes sad. Clearly, he'd been hoping for a quick fix, perhaps by some magic that the preacher could do. James was saying it didn't work that way.
"You'll heal pretty quickly, I promise. You already have after all. You don't feel nearly half as bad as you did when it first happened, do you?" L whirled on James, a look of anger and hurt in his eyes at the fact that James would dare be so presumptuous, but…the thing was, that he was right. L glowered at him for only a few seconds, then looked away a second time. James took no offense.
"So then what do we do now? How do we make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again?" This was from Light. Clearly, no matter what he believed, he, like L, was willing to try this new way of thinking. Anything at all to help. Anything at all to protect Lawliet. Anything at all…to not feel so utterly useless. He wanted a game plan, he wanted to act.
"Well, I suspect Kira will keep coming after you guys right? I can teach you a few tricks. But I'm no expert. I'm thinking we should visit the preacher anyway, even if not for L's condition. He might know what to do about a demon. I've certainly never run into a problem like this before." Light was not amused, even if James seemed to be.
"Fine. We'll figure it out in the morning. As long as Lawliet's in no immediate danger."
"He'll be fine," James said again. L twitched. He was getting tired of James's confidence in the speed of his recovery. But he didn't say anything…he just wanted it to be over.
Doctor Sheldon suddenly sighed from the corner. Her arms crossed, her face fixed with an expression of annoyance, she spoke.
"Well I guess it was just emotional or psychological after all. I certainly don't believe in any of this religious nonsense. I'm going home. I'm way beyond tired."
"Wait doctor, the storm," Jackie said. "Why don't you spend the night? Drive home safely in the morning. I'll call head quarters for you and tell them we're snowed in. It's the truth after all." Sheldon hesitated, she didn't seem happy about the idea of spending the night with the group she was currently stuck with.
"I dunno. I'm surrounded by a bunch of whackos."
"It's better than getting into a car accident." But of course, Light didn't seem thrilled by the idea either. He knew everyone would be staying. They had the room. But still…he was starting to miss the alone time with Lawliet that he used to have. He couldn't even remember the last time they'd had sex. He sighed in frustration, throwing up his hands in surrender.
"I'll go get the sheets for the guest room." Light begrudgingly left the bedroom, Sheldon followed, eager to just hop into bed without a shower or dinner.
"James, you should clean up and take the couch, I can watch over L and Light tonight." James nodded at his partner.
"Thanks. I'm about dead on my feet as it is. There's no way I'd possibly be able to take another shift." His hand having been on L's shoulder the entire time, gently slipped off and away. L immediately reached back out, grabbing onto James's wrist.
"Wait!" James stopped and turned, a questioning look on his features. L, cheeks still pink from embarrassment, glanced to the side and mumbled,
"Is there anything…special I should do…before…going to sleep? R…r…r…religiously? Something I can do…to…to protect myself?" James stared at L briefly, then smiled warmly.
"Just ask God to protect you." L stared up at James, clearly lost at this simple sentence. James smiled again. "You need something physical, don't you? Here." James took his hand out of L's grip, then suddenly reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a mini book of sorts. It was old, tattered and ripped on its corners. Clearly it had been read many times and had been well loved. He handed it to L. L took the mini book in his hands and flipped it over to his front. It read 'The Holy Bible.' L blinked at it, clearly just as confused about what to do with this thing than he was about James's words of advice.
"You don't have to read it if you don't want to. Just hold onto it. God knows when you're calling to him. I just thought something physical might make it easier for you. You seem like the type who needs to see things and feel things in order for them to be real." L turned the Bible over in his hands, inspecting it from all sides, but he never opened it. He seemed curious, but cautious.
"You know James…I've read the bible before, front to finish. I needed to know it for a case I once did. The serial killer I was after was leaving notes, with hints from passages in the bible. I read the entire thing to make sure I could understand my quarry. I never got any supernatural sense from it. I never felt any…magical thing from it." James's smile only remained.
"That's because it was just facts to you at the time. It has a different meaning for you now. The bible can change as many times over as it needs to in order to help the person who's reading it. The first time you read it, it helped you catch a murderer who was trying to soil its words." L slowly lowered the book. His dark eyes held onto James magnetically with an expression close to wonder. James…so stupid seeming at times…suddenly appeared very insightful. L felt that he very much liked the last viewpoint he expressed. The bible had indeed been the key piece of evidence in that case. And it had acted as a translator for L. It taught him how to understand and communicate with his target.
L found a small smile tugging at his lips when he thought about it that way. Maybe…the way he'd been thinking all along…about how there could be no God because God never saved him from any pain was wrong. Maybe…he'd been there all along, helping him, and guiding him, and L had just never wanted to see it.