Hey guys. Wow, this is a late update. February was really busy for me, I had a lot to handle. Here's an update a month later haha. While writing this I remembered how much I love Ethan. Chara gets one mention in this chapter unfortunately lol. Anyways, I'm not going to ramble so enjoy the chapter please.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
.:IVAN:.
Ivan didn't feel any regret for what he said. Aiden had it coming. And while his relationship with Emily was different than what he had suffered through with his brother, he was still sour about her too.
Why couldn't they mind their own business like Ethan, Harmony, Tessa, and Frisk did? They didn't need to meddle with his life. Especially Aiden. He never cared before, so why should he suddenly accept him being worried? Then again, Ethan and Harmony rarely talked to him and Tessa was always quiet anyways. And then Frisk was always with that ghost. He could never place his finger on that. If he was dead, why was he still following them?
He was recording all of this down in his notebook when the group stopped at Undyne's door. Papyrus had knocked and was waiting patiently for Undyne to answer. Ivan just fixed his vision on the door and waited for her to step out.
"Hi Papyrus! Ready for your extra private one-on-one training?" The blue fish grinned to show all of her teeth, which were are sharp as knifes. She was wearing a casual tank top and looked a heck of a lot less intimidating.
"Of course I am! I'm the Great Papyrus!" He placed a hand on where his heart would be, his red scarf blowing in the wind, "But I even brought a few friends!" He added, stepping out of the way for her to see the kids.
Harmony gulped, "Uh oh."
Undyne's eyes were closed when she spoke, which was something along the lines of, "I don't believe we've met befo-" When her eyes fell on the humans, they narrowed almost instantly; however, she just stood there as the room got more tense. Of course, Papyrus was still wearing his famous grin as innocently as ever, expecting one of them to say something.
Emily felt the hairs on her neck bristle, "hhhhhhheeeeeeeeeyyyyy..." She dragged the word out awkwardly, plastering the best fake smile on her face that she could.
Undyne once again didn't respond, but through gritted teeth, said, "Why don't. You eight. Come in." Ivan observed the tension raising and thickening as the conversation went on, scribbling it down on his notebook.
Undyne:
Hates children
That was the only note he took before she leaned over his shoulder and demanded, "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU WRITING IN THERE, PUNK?!"
"Nothing of your concern." answered Ivan briskly, shuffling his feet to get a bit away from her. But she followed.
"SHOW ME WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME, HUMAN!" She summoned a spear, alarming pretty much everyone- everyone except Papyrus.
Ivan wasn't alarmed, so he cleared his throat with a small smirk and read, "Undyne: hates children."
"I DON'T HATE CHILDREN! I HATE HUMAN CHILDREN!" She corrected, snapping the spear in half over her knee. Her eyes were blazing.
"My bad." Ivan then also added a line down, Has anger management issues and thinks she's all cool. Boosts Papyrus's ego. He shut the notebook, then glued his purple eyes to her, "Okay. I'm done with my notes."
Papyrus then tried to clear the air by tapping Undyne on the shoulder, "My friends brought a gift for you! All on their own!" He beamed at her and then presented an orange bone with a red ribbon tied around it. Undyne blinked at it, but sighed,
"Uhhhhhh... thanks. I'll go put it with the others." She refused to hurt Papyrus's feelings in anyway like that. So she took it from him politely, sliding it into a kitchen drawer.
"So, are we ready to start?"
Papyrus shook his skull, "Whoospy Doopsy! I just remembered! I have to go to the bathroom! You all have fun!" Subtly, he turned around and went head first out the window. Ethan started bursting out laughing, seeing it as comedy gold. He shouldn't have been laughing as hard as he did, but he ended up crumpling up on the floor and snickering to himself. Harmony looked embarrassed by his actions and lightly kicked him in the shoulder.
And then he started complaining about how that stuff hurt and that she was too rough and needed to cool down. But Harmony had gotten this talk so many times. So she kinda just ignored him and looked at Undyne, putting on the bravest face she could muster.
"So why are YOU seven here. To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate it even further? IS THAT IT?" There was that icy tone that gave Tessa chills again. Ivan met her gaze, his eyes frigid as he stared at her,
"It appears Papyrus wants us to bond and get this 'friend' essence so you don't try to kill us." He explained wistfully, the knowledge he had clear in that singular sentence.
Ethan, being the idiot he was, stuck out his tongue tauntingly, "Weeeeeee wonnnnnnnn! Youuuuuuu lost!" He tormented, causing Harmony to drag him away by the ear,
"Stop being an idiot and getting us into more trouble!" She mumbled, but it sounded half hearted as 99% of what Ethan did always amused her. But he didn't need to know that.
"WELL, I've got news for you then, BRATS. You're on my battlefield now. And you WON'T humiliate me here." She pushed through the kids to lift Ethan up by his shirt, "I'll tell you what's going to happen, Punk. We're going to hang out. We're going to have a good time. We're gonna be 'friends'. You'll be the one enamored in me. YOU'LL be the one humiliated by your own actions!"
"I won't enamor you because I already love someone else. Not enough love left for you." Ethan nearly replied. But instead of saying that, he decisively just said "okay."
"Fuhuhuhuhu!" She dropped him carelessly, the boy hitting the ground but pushing himself up as fast as he could. He stood a little taller and tried to look more intimidating.
But cinnamon rolls fail at that.
"It's the PERFECT revenge!" Undyne snickered with a wide grin, "why don't you guys take a seat?"
Papyrus peeked his head into her home's window, "That's the spirit!" He cheered for his friends before leaving again.
"Dibs!" Ethan called, diving for the chair. Aiden knocked him out of the way, "You're too slowwww." Aiden hummed annoyingly as Ethan huffed at the move. Tessa seemed nothing but amused.
Ivan rolled his eyes, "Ignoramuses," He thought to himself, "It's just a chair." He slightly folded his arms, but refused to say anything at that action.
When would Ivan stop being like this? WHEN WE GET TO THE CLIMAX OF IVAN DRAMA I GUESS
"I can't believe Paps leaped through the window like that-" Undyne was cut off by Harmony,
"Um... I can..." She responded quietly. Tessa and Emily nodded in agreement. Aiden and Ethan were fighting. More like Ethan was trying to push Aiden out of the chair. Ivan pushed his hair out of his face,
"What Papyrus did was precisely something Papyrus would do." He informed the fish.
"But he usually NAILS the landing!" She countered, chuckling.
Tessa began walking over to the piano curiously, "I use to play the keyboard..." She whispered to no one but herself.
"Um... Alphys's... friend... came over once. All he did was lie on the piano seductively. And fed himself grapes." Undyne explained, Tessa deciding to take a step back, "Okay then." She murmured.
"I don't really like that guy. But I do admire his lifestyle." Her smile never wavered but started to annoy Ivan slightly. Emily innocently smiled back though.
Frisk and Chara were looking at some sword or whatever and Harmony was looking at the fridge, "What kinda food do you eat?" She pondered curiously, looking over at her for answers. Her eyes glistened with wonder.
To which Undyne answered, "You see, I don't really like cold food. So Alphys made me a fridge that heats up food instead. Hot Fridge... the world's greatest invention, huh?"
Harmony wondered about making a comment, but thought the best of it and kept her mouth shut. Monsters probably didn't know what microwaves were, anyways. Emily was looking inside the drawers to look at what cutlery she had,
"Do you like cooking?" She gasped, her eyes gleaming as she glanced over at her for an answer.
"Of course! I'm the one who gives Papyrus all of his lessons!" She pounded her fist into her other hand. Emily looked satisfied at her answer. Ivan inspected the door to her room, intrigued, but Undyne wouldn't let him pass. Only some nerds allowed, apparently.
So eventually they all sat down at the table. Or semi did. They just kinda all sat on their knees while Ethan was being angry about not getting the chair.
"Are you guys all comfortable?" The fish lady asked, "I'll get you something to drink."
"Good! I'm thirstyyyyyyyyy." Ethan dragged out the word just to be annoying. Undyne walked over to the fridge and took out four items, placing them on the counter.
"All set! What would you like?" When Ethan went to get up, she threw a spear at the table, causing Harmony and Tessa to squeal in unison out of alarm. Aiden looked slightly amused. And Ivan nearly jumped to his feet himself.
"HEY! DON'T GET UP!"
"YO WHAT THE HELL MAN I WANTED TO GET MY DRINK!" Ethan demanded of her, fuming. He just really wanted something to drink, okay?
"YOU'RE THE GUEST! SIT DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF!" She commanded, her eyes flashing. She then calmed down and straightened, "Why don't you just point to what you want. You can use the spear."
Aiden snatched it and then pointed it at Undyne, as if it was his gun.
"Are you hitting on me?!" She looked kinda confused and annoyed at the same time.
"No-" Before Aiden could reply, Ethan took it from him, "I'll handle that, Aiden." Ivan snorted and wrote down notes about Undyne instead of watching the two numbskulls fight over some dumb spear.
Ethan pointed at the soda eagerly, "I WANT THE SODA!" He told her clearly, glowing.
"You know, even though you chose the soda, you don't look too happy about it. That's okay. I think soda is gross, too!" Undyne reassured the brave boy. Ivan watched and scribbled this on the notes page he had for her.
Ethan literally exploded, "Are you deaf?! I just said I wanted it!" He nearly got up to go get the soda himself, but Harmony held him down.
"It rots your teeth and rots your mind. It rots your fighting spirit!" She then added, "And you NEED your fighting spirit, right?!"
"Not as much as I need soda, but..." He passed the spear off to Harmony before sinking under the table sadly.
"I kinda want the tea..." Harmony then addressed everyone, "What do you guys want?"
"Hm... tea seems to be a reasonable choice." Ivan nodded to her when he said it aloud.
"I'll drink whatever!" Emily couldn't help but put in, fidgeting with her long sleeves. Frisk shrugged, not caring but knowing tea was going to be the only one Undyne had anyways. Tessa wanted hot chocolate as well as Aiden, but Ethan popped his head above the table just to side with Harmony. So she chose tea. Ivan was glad at that.
"you want tea, huh? Coming right up!" She walked over and grabbed the tea leaves(?), boiling them before adding sugar. She walked over to them and gave them each a boiling cup of tea one at a time.
"Careful, it's hot." She warned, sitting down at the other side of the table. Ivan decided he sort of liked Undyne, shoving aside the fact that she tried to kill them all.
Despite Undyne's warning, Ethan slurped the tea down in no time flat. And then felt his tongue on fire,
"Why did I drink it that fast?!" He whimpered to himself, fanning his tongue to try and cool it down.
"Thank you." Emily sipped it, recoiling at the heat before blowing on it and drinking it slowly. Harmony smiled slightly and patted his head before gulping her tea down. She loved that stuff. And she also was unsure how to feel about Undyne, but she sorta liked her. Strangely, anyways, "Thanks..."
Ethan just felt tortured by the fish lady. Aiden took a nice, long drink of his, shrugging at the heat. It didn't bother him all that much. Tessa sipped hers quietly, "Thank you..."
Frisk slurped hers loudly and at a mediocre speed.
"Good, right?" The kids all nodded when she asked, "Well, NOTHING but the best for my absolutely PRECIOUS friends." Undyne continued, "You know, it's kinda strange you chose THAT tea. Golden flower... that's Asgore's favorite." Ivan flipped to another page that was labeled for ASGORE, writing down this carefully.
"Well, did we have much of a choice?!" Harmony clamped a hand over Ethan's mouth, "Proceed." She nodded at her.
"Now that I think about it, you guys all kinda remind me of him... kinda remind me that you're all TOTAL WEENIES!" She snickered, grinning at them. Ethan bit back a retort.
"...sort of, anyways. Y'know like this kid-" she pointed to Ethan, "-I was a pretty hotheaded kid."
"The name's Ethan!" He grinned, pulling on his gloves tighter. Undyne processed this, "So... what are your names?" She asked the others.
"My name is Ivan." The purple soul replied, waving, "And this is Harmony, Tessa, Emily, or Em, Aiden, and Frisk." He pointed at each child in turn. He didn't think she could see Chara (which she couldn't), so he didn't bother mentioning him.
"Nice!" Aiden found Undyne pretty chill. She proceeded in telling her story, "Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. TRIED. I couldn't land any hit on him! And even worse, he refused to even fight back! I felt so embarrassed."
"Not as embarrassed as I was when I broke my arm when falling out of a-"
"Shhh." Tessa put a finger to her lips gently.
"Then, afterwards, he said something goofy. 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I told him yes, and from that moment on he trained me." She explained, "One day during practice, I knocked him down. I felt bad... but... he looked... proud. He was beaming at me. I had never seen anyone so... so... happy to get their butt kicked! Long story short, he continued training me. And now I'm head of the Royal Guard! So now I get to teach dorks to fight. For example, uh... Papyrus..." her voice trailed off as Ivan logged this in his notebook, his question being answered before he could even ask it,
"To be honest... I don't know if... I'll ever be able to let Papyrus into the Royal guard. Don't tell him I said that." She averted her eyes.
"We wouldn't gain anything from doing that." Tessa mused to reassure her.
"It's not that he's weak... he's actually pretty fricken tough... but... he's... innocent. And nice! Look... he was suppose to capture you! But... he became friends with you all instead! If I sent him into battle, he'd be ripped into smiling shreds! Part of why I taught him to cook, y'know? So maybe he'll learn to do something else with his life..." She looked up to realize she was rambling. Ethan was napping somehow, "oh... sorry, you're out of tea, aren't you? I'll... get you some more." She walked over to the counter, but then a thought dawned on her,
"WAIT! Papyrus was suppose to be having his cooking lesson right now. And if HE isn't here to have it." She spared a grin for the kids, who collectively gulped, "YOU'LL have it!" She sprang up and across the counter, knocking the beverages off.
"This is messy!" Tessa complained. Harmony hid behind Ethan, who had awoken at hearing the bottle of soda shatter, "OH, YAY WE'RE DOING SOMETHING!" Ivan flinched.
"NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING has brought me and Papyrus closer than cooking! Meaning if I give you HIS lesson-"
"-we'll be closer?" Emily tried to confirm, dodging the ingredients that had fallen off of the counter. Now all of them were up and awake. Ivan was keeping his notebook clean.
"Than you could ever IMAGINE!" Undyne finished for her, "Fuhuhuhu! Afraid? We're going to be BEST friends!"
"I'M NOT AFRAID, LET's DO THIS THING!" Ethan ran over and looked up at her boldly.
"Great!" She hopped down from the counter, "We start with the sauce!"
Harmony lined up next to him as vegetables fell through the ceiling, "CRUSH THESE LIKE THEY'RE YOUR SWORN ENEMIES! POUND THEM TO DUST!"
"Uh... no...?" Harmony suggested softly, but obviously Ethan overshadowed THAT answer.
"YEAH!" Ethan started pounding the tomatoes into the counter, causing the juice to splatter everywhere. Harmony got a bunch on her shirt and Aiden was dodging it tactically.
"GO LITTLE HUMAN, GO!" Undyne encouraged, "OUR HEARTS ARE UNITED AGAINST THESE HEALTHY INGREDIENTS!" Emily didn't want to smash any vegetables, and neither did most of them. Except for Ethan and Frisk. Frisk was doing it like a wimp though. She didn't seem to care.
"NOW IT'S MY TURN! NGAHHHHHHHHHH!" With a swift punch, Undyne shattered them into a bunch of sauce,
"Uh, we can scrape this all into a pot later. But for NOW!" A pot fell into existence, "...We add the noodles!"
"Homemade noodles are the best-"
"I love homemade noodles!" Emily chirped excitedly,
"-but I just buy STORE-BOUGHT ONES!"
"Aw!" Emily grinned though. Aiden was relaxed. Tessa was salty. Ivan was writing this down as a recipe in instructions he knew Emily would do later.
"They're the cheapest! NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She pulled at a box and handed it to Ethan. Harmony took half and put them in carefully. BUT ETHAN SHOVED HIS HALF IN THERE QUICKLY.
"NICE?" Undyne questioned, but continued with her toothy grin, "Now it's time to stir the pasta!"
"LET'S DO THISSSSSS!" Ethan pumped a fist in the air.
"As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir... THE BETTER IT IS!" Ivan adapted his ears to all of this screaming. Tessa and Aiden blinked. Frisk was bouncing. Ethan stirred it quickly.
"HARDER!" Undyne demanded. Ethan pushed it around faster, "HARDER!" He tried harder.
"LET ME DO IT!" She sent down a spear almost like a lightning bolt, and it shattered the pot practically. Harmony squeaked when hearing the noise. Ethan looked hyped.
"FUHUHUHUHUHU! That's the stuff! Now for the final step, TURN UP THE HEAT!" She yelled at the boy, "LET THE STOVE SHOW YOUR PASSION! USE YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS LIKE A BURNING FIRE!"
"By my calculations, this is very dangerous and an unsafe idea." Ivan tried to tell them, but neither listened.
"DON'T HOLD BACK ETHAN!" Ethan cranked it up.
"HOTTER!" The flames built up.
"GO EVEN HOTTER!" It was a raging fire at this point. Ethan pushed the knob as far is it would go until the knob snapped off out of shear force.
"Uh oh..." He sweat-grinned at her.
"THAT'S TOO HOT!" Undyne screamed, the fire bulging and burning on top of the stove. Harmony held slightly onto Ethan's arm as there was a flash of light.
There was fire everywhere, the building engulfed in flames, "Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking!" Undyne turned to the children, all whom which were in shock, "What's next...? Scrapbook making? Friendship bracelets?"
"I told you it was dangerous." Ivan chided them, folding his arms. He wagged a finger disapprovingly.
"Oh, what am I kidding... I really screwed this up, didn't I? I can't force you to like me, guys. Some people don't get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me-"
"Are YOU kidding? You're amazing! Sure, at first, I didn't like you because you tried to kill my friends, but... YOU'RE AWESOME!" Ethan admitted, but gave her a double thumbs up.
"That was scary, but I thought it was fun!" Harmony managed to smile.
"I wanted to serve justice against you, but... so do you, so we're on the same page." Aiden tipped his hat to her.
"One of the toughest people I've ever encountered." Ivan stated matter-of-factly, but it sounded like a compliment.
"You're great!" Emily reassured kindly, a bit of soot in her hair though she didn't mind it.
"...um, I think you're neat too..." Tessa beamed at her.
Frisk gave her a happy head nod.
"Wow... that... makes this really hard." All seven souls were launched into battle, "I'll destroy you without regret!" She held a spear in her grasp tightly, "I've been defeated, my house is in shambles, I even failed to befriend you children. That's it. It doesn't matter if you're my houseguest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO REGAIN MY LOST PRIDE! NOW HIT ME WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! NGAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Undyne was letting them make the first attack. Frisk opened the menu, the others gathered around her. Ivan understood. But she closed it once they all saw her plan, and she just kicked her. She lost one HP.
"What...? That's the best force you can manage? Even attacking at full force? You can't muster any intent to hurt me... you know what...?" The spear vanished just as mysteriously as it appeared, "I don't actually want to hurt you either." Her hair blew in the wind. "At first, I hated your stupid saccharine shtick, but... the way you hit me right now... it... reminded me of someone I use to train with."
"Asgore..." Tessa murmured in understanding, "It was Asgore..."
"Now I'm certain you aren't just some wimpy losers..." She looked up, grinning, "You're all wimpy losers with BIG HEARTS! Just like him..." She daydreamed slightly before closing her eyes, "Listen, humans... it's already fated that you and Asgore are meant to fight... but... I know him... and... he probably doesn't want to hurt you either. Talk to him. Maybe he'll let you go home... eventually, some mean humans will fall down here... and I'll take all their souls in place of yours... makes sense, right? Fuhuhuhu. Oh. And if you DO hurt Asgore... I'll find a way to beat the hell out of all of you, which is what friends are for, right? Fuhuhuhu! Now let's get the hell out of this burning house!" The battle ended. Everyone agreed and rushed out. Ivan was rubbing soot off of his notebook, nit-picky about it.
"We'll have to hang out again another time! But... uh, somewhere else, I suppose. In the meantime, I'll go hang out with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Snowdin, Okay?!" She gave Ethan a noogie and then high fives the other kids.
"If you ever need help, give Papyrus a ring. I'll be in the same spot, so I can help too! Well, see you later, punks!" She walked away, leaving the seven kids in silence. Ivan's eyes glowed purple very faintly. He wrote this down,
"Let's go on now, shall we?"
Yay! Longest Chapter ever~~~!
Okay I promise Ivan will be less salty next chapter
QOTD: Have you ever broken a bone?